CHAPTER TEN: HEART OF GLASS

One thing he had to hand to Marie: She stomped like a pro.

She stomped down Bourbon Street so fast that even the bouncers got out of her way. She stomped down St. Peter’s Street, muttering so vindictively that even New Orleans cab-drivers- a breed who as a rule ain’t easily shocked- gave her a wide berth. She even managed to stomp her way into Jackson Square, scarf flying behind her and expression like a thunder-clap, muttering under her breath about how she wanted to skin Remy LeBeau alive for even thinking of inviting Yukio to New Orleans- Which was something Logan would cheerfully help her with. In fact, it wasn’t until she reached Saint Louis Cathedral that she actually stopped stomping-

But of course the stomping was followed by sinking onto a bench and crying- soft, upset crying. And considering how much he hated that fucking sound, Logan would have been happy to have her stomp all night-

No matter how much of a bitch she’d just been.

So he stood in the shadows for a couple of seconds, torn between wanting to go over there and shake her until she calmed down (Jesus, had he done that to her?) and finding someone to pummel his frustrations out on before he opened his mouth and put his other foot into it. Of course he was in the Big Easy, so finding some out-of-towner to pick a fight with wouldn’t have been difficult; half the fuckin’ tourists were already drunk. But then that would mean leaving Marie crying on a bench in the middle of the night, and he was hardly gonna do that. No matter what happened he didn’t abandon his girls. Something weird was going on here: Rogue had never really liked Yukio, he knew that, but she’d put up with her for his sake and it seemed unlikely that she’d let her dislike overtake her now. In fact, she’d been fine in the kitchen- blushing scarlet and embarrassed as Hell at being caught but fine- until Yuki smiled at him. That was when the jealousy had begun creeping into her scent, that was when she started being pissed off. Logan knew he wasn’t the most sensitive of people but even he could see a pattern there, it didn’t take a rocket-scientist-

And that being the case, he needed to know what was up with her. The fact that she was crying and muttering “Ah’m a moron,” under her breath told him that she already knew she’d acted like an idiot: The question was, why?

So he padded quietly over to her, not wanting to startle her- people who startled Rogue ended up with bruises- but not wanting to draw attention either. Girl had a shy streak a mile wide when she cried, he knew that from when she was a kid. In fact, that she was even shedding tears in public showed just how upset she was: She’d developed her own brand of stoicism somewhere along the line and it was impossible to crack. His monosyllabic had nothing on hers. She just looked up to find him staring at her- “This seat taken?”- his expression somewhere between exasperated and wary, his hands stuffed in his jacket pockets. He knew his face looked pinched and white and not from the cold: She’d worried him. After all, the last time an X-Man exhibited these kind of mood-swings the Hellfire Club had been involved, and he really didn’t wanna think about that asshole Shaw laying paws on his Marie-

A very long, very awkward beat.

“Ah’m sorry,” she sniffled then. The chocolate brown eyes were ringed red and tears were running down her nose: A cute crier she was not.

“I got that. Now is anyone sitting here?” And he indicated the bench beside her, waiting until she gave a quick bob of her head to take his place. Sitting a little away from her in case she needed- what was it Jubes was always going on about?- space.

She looked at the distance between them and her eyes watered up again. Sorrow leaking into her scent to go with the embarrassment and anger, though she didn’t ask him to move closer. Apparently the presence of an audience was enough to make her pull herself together though: not a tear fell this time.

“Ah suppose Ah deserve that,” she said, and she indicated the space on the bench.

Logan fought the urge to roll his eyes. “It ain’t a punishment darlin’,” he said testily, “I just figured you wanted some space.”

“Well Ah don’t!”

“Well fine then!” And he clumped himself down beside her, so near their thighs were pressed together. Arms crossed stubbornly over his chest, his pose mirrored by Marie. For a second warmth shot through his bloodstream at the contact, and lust- mixed in, admittedly, with embarrassment- shot through Rogue. Turning her scent delicious again. He’d never really told her what that smell did to him, figured it would freak her out or disgust her-

But then, there was so much he’d wanted to tell her over the years and he never had done. He supposed that was one of his more minor lapses.

Another beat.

“Look,” he said, “I ain’t Hank so I’ll leave out all the big words and just cut to the chase: What The Fuck, Marie?” And he swept a hand behind him, as if to encompass all that might be The Fuck. “What the Hell happened back there?”

“Ah don’t know.” And her face went scarlet again, her expression suddenly making her look very young indeed. She dropped her chin to her chest, eyes downward, brought her un-gloved hands to fiddle in her lap. “Ah just- Ah’ll apologise to Yukio, okay?”

“Yeah, you will do, but that’s not what’s worrying me.” And he took the hand nearest to him, his big, blunt fingers twining about her wrist, making it look tiny. Fragile. Beautiful, like the rest o’ her, but he didn‘t say that out loud. “One minute everything was fine, darlin’,” he was saying softly. “More’n fine- Jesus, it was fucking great- and then suddenly-”

“We were interrupted,” she said softly. She was staring very hard at a spot in front of her.

“Yeah, we were. But Gambit didn’t see anything, and Yuki didn’t care, so why’d you get so ornery?” And he tugged the hand he was holding until it was in his lap, squeezing it. Marie bit her lip. “C’mon, what happened?”

“Ah just- Ah just-” She shook her head, embarrassment pouring offa her. “Everyone was staring,” she blurted. “Mah boobs were hanging outta mah shirt. Ah just realised that the guy Ah spent the entire day flirting with was only paying attention t’me to piss you off. You kept talking about how Ah was yours, not because you wanted me but because another man did and someone else told you to and we danced and we flirted and Ah thought it was great and then we nearly had sex on a kitchen counter and you smiled at Yukio like you used to smile at me-” And she stopped, her expression mortified. Clearly what she’d been about to say was her main point but she’d stopped short.

“And what?”

She pressed her lips into a thin line and for a second Logan thought she wasn’t gonna answer him. Her little arms crossing even more tightly across her chest. But then- “Ah know what happens to the girl you have sex with on the kitchen counter, shuggs,” she said softly. It sounded like the words were being torn outta her, but she said them nonetheless. “Ah know what happens to that girl. Ah mighta forgotten for a second when we were getting down and dirty, but Ah know- Because Ah’ve given her a lift into Westchester so many times. Because Ah’ve sworn that you gave her the right cell number. Because Ah’ve bumped into her and nearly gotten mah ass kicked when Ah go clubbing in the city. Ah know what happens to her Logan- And Ah never thought Ah’d be her. Never. But tonight- Tonight Ah felt like Ah was.”

And she pulled her hand back suddenly, her expression closing off, moving her hand quite deliberately out of Logan’s grasp.

He opened his mouth to say something to her, but the words just wouldn’t come out.

“Look,” she continued after a moment, “It’s a weird time for everyone, with the wedding and all. Ah’m stressed, you’re stressed, Ah get that. And Ah’m sure that when you’ve had some time to think about this you’ll be thankful Ah stopped things, because you’n me, how weird would that be?” And she gave a broken, forced little laugh that grated against Logan’s nerves something fierce. “Ah get that you were trying to “save,” me from Remy,” she said softly, “and Ah’m grateful, shuggs. Truly Ah am. But Ah’m not what you want, Logan, Ah’ve always known that. Ah ain’t Yukio, Ah ain’t Jeannie. No matter what happened in that kitchen Ah’ll always be clumsy, familiar ole Marie. And Ah won’t be an itch you scratch just cos someone told you to- Ah have some self-respect, you get that?”

And with that she stood up and moved away from him, her face resolute.

And oh, how Logan wished he had a handy tourist he could skewer then.

Because he opened his mouth to tell her that it wasn’t like that, that that wasn’t what he wanted- But he couldn’t. Couldn’t correct her, couldn’t stop her- Didn’t even have the words to say what he felt. It felt like the lump o’ hurt in his chest had blocked off access to his vocal chords and he didn’t have any idea how to move it. Didn’t have any idea what to do. A night from long ago, a whispered rejection involving the difference between good guys and bad guys and what women did with each flashed through his head, and he felt the claws spring loose without his even willing it. Felt his heart start to thump in his chest as adrenaline flooded through him, not from the desire for violence but from the ache of hearing just how little Marie though of him. She thought he’d- that he’d treat her like that? She thought he only wanted to get laid? Logan wasn’t a great talker, he knew that, and he wasn’t great with feelings, he knew that too. But he’d never have treated Marie that way and if she thought he would, did she even know him?

Because it was mighty fucking painful to realise that the woman of your dreams thought you were a complete and utter man-whore of a prick.

So Logan drew himself up, pulling the claws back in. Turning the collar of his jacket up before turning on his heel and walking away. She smiled uncomfortably, but didn’t say anything- Which was pretty much alright with him. Because if she wanted to think that kinda shit about him, then he was okay with it. There were plenty more fish in the sea- Whether or not they could do to him with one dance what that girl right there had done. Whether or not they could make him feel a hundred foot tall with a smile. The feral began making his way towards Remy’s bar, her behind him. The silence between them painful where once it might have been content. Marie trailed after him, once or twice trying to make conversation but she got only grunted answers- when he even answered her. So eventually she stopped trying at all. They made it back to Remy’s in record time and went their separate ways at the stairs without even sparing a glance for one another-

While unnoticed, to their right, Jubes, Kit and Yukio watched them. A pot of green tea between them on the bar.

“This,” Yukio announced, “Is why I don’t do domestic.”

“And this,” Jubes announced, “Is why we’re all lucky I’m here.”

And with that she poured some more tea and detailed how she was going to fix this-

Because after all, you never sent a man to do a woman’s job.