Logan could have sworn he had been sitting against that wall for days, but in reality, he had barely been there for an hour.
He felt two sets of hands take his arms and lift him from his crouched position on the floor. He allowed himself to be led to the waiting room by the hands as he sunk down into a chair.
The hands belonged to Storm and Jubilee. They had said his name and tried to talk to him, but he was too lost within his own thoughts. He would only answer if it was the nurse coming out to give him news about Rogue and the baby.
He put his head in his hands and took a few deep breaths, reflecting on the past three years and all he had put her through. From the first time they had sex against the book shelf, to the day he thought she had aborted the very child she had possibly died for...and who might be dead right now.
She didn't deserve to die like this...not while giving birth to his child. It's just not fair to her...he'd already put her through so much, this would just be the cherry on top of the bitterly flavored cake.
He was finally able to pull himself out of his mind long enough to look up at Storm, who was rubbing his shoulder, "Logan...are you alright?"
He gave her a 'what the fuck do you think?' look and clutched his hands together before looking back down. If he lost her...he would cease to exist. He wouldn't have any real reason to live...there would be no vengeance to seek and no one to love. He would go back to being the animal who fought like a dog in cages for money.
He jerked up as the nurse approached, "Sir-"
"Where is she? Is she ok?" he fired off questions before the woman was able to speak.
Jubilee and Storm stood and placed supportive hands on his shoulders as the nurse spoke, "She's been rushed into an emergency surgery...like I said, she's lost a lot of blood and she'll need a transfusion."
Logan's gut twisted, "What about the baby?"
"She...she wasn't breathing-Sir! Sir! Wait! Where are you going?" The nurse ran after him as he rushed by her, bursting through the doors of the maternity ward. He retraced his steps back to Marie's room just in time to see them wheeling an incubator from the door. He slowed to a stop and took a deep breath, not knowing if he was prepared to see what was inside.
He'd spent so much time thinking about that baby and talking to her...it seemed only natural that one day, they would meet. He didn't know how he would handle it if she never got a chance to take her first breath...say her first words or take her first steps.
The nurse appeared behind as he approached the incubator. She panted slightly as the other medical personnel gave her an alarmed look, but she nodded, giving them the signal to step out of his way.
Logan's breath hitched in his throat as he saw the tiny baby inside. She was hooked up to a little heart monitor and an oxygen tube was resting next to her face...luckily it wasn't down her throat. He started to open his mouth to say something, but shook his head and took a few steadying breaths.
The nurse spoke softly, "She's a little small, but she started breathing on her own once we revived her. We're just giving her a little bit of oxygen as a precaution."
"She's beautiful", he said to no one in particular. He had never seen anything more beautiful...besides her mother. He stared down at her, watching her little chest rise and fall as she slowly yawned and brought her hands to her face. She blinked slowly and took a few deep breaths before looking directly at him.
He felt as if someone had pierced his soul as her brown eyes bore into his. He stuttered for a moment before finally whispering, "Heya kiddo..."
Logan tried to remain calm when they told him he couldn't hold his yet to be named daughter. They wanted to monitor her oxygen levels and run a few tests before they let her out of her little plastic cage. He watched the doors close as they wheeled her into the NICU and took a few deep breaths before saying a silent prayer.
In the meantime, he redirected his energy to Marie. He panicked slightly when he felt as if the universe wouldn't be so kind as to bless him with a beautiful daughter and his Marie...he never had it that good. Guys like him just weren't that lucky.
He sat back down in the waiting room. The good news of knowing his daughter was alright made it easier for him to speak to Storm and Jubilee and become more aware of those around him. When the same nurse who came back out, she asked him to follow her. She led him back to a recovery room and patted him on the shoulder. He didn't know whether he should take it as a good or bad sign that she had failed to mention Marie's condition, but that didn't matter when he opened the door.
Marie lay in the bed, still pale and still unconscious. When he got closer, he realized that she looked better than he had last seen her. She almost looked as if she was sleeping when he sat down next to her bed and looked her up and down before taking her hand and squeezing it. He kissed her hand, "Hey kid...you gotta wake up. Please? Please open your eyes."
His voice got smaller as he clutched her hand to his face. He was letting the tears pour forth while he continued to plead for her to open her eyes.
Logan kissed her hand again, "I saw her Marie. She looks just like you, but she has my eyes...you gotta see her for yourself. She's so goddamn amazing. Come on kid...come on. Open your eyes." He leaned his head down, resting his forehead on her shoulder as he breathed in her soft, faint scent.
Logan struggled not the allow the sobs that swelled in his chest take over his body as his tears continued to wet Marie's hospital gown. Even her normally pink lips were muted in color. He straightened up and wiped the tears away when Jubilee knocked on the door.
Both Storm and Jubilee traded off, taking turns to sit with him as he watched Marie.
He sat for almost three hours, just watching and waiting. Jubilee and Storm tried to get him to eat some take out that they brought from a random fast food joint, but he refused without taking his eyes off of Marie's still form.
His stupid, tough guy image didn't matter anymore. The Wolverine wasn't supposed to be afraid. The Wolverine wasn't supposed to cry.
Fuck the Wolverine.
He had lived his life, taking what he wanted without giving a damn about who it affected. It was what he had done to Marie and look where it got her. In a hospital bed, fighting for her life.
He cleared his throat and looked over at Storm and Jubilee, who were laying out food for him on a nearby table in an attempt to lure him to it, "Thanks...both of you...for uh, being here."
The two looked at each other and nodded, surprised at such a seemingly tender show of emotion from him, "It's no problem...we're happy to do it."
Everyone in the room perked up as they watched Marie roll her head to one side and take a deep breath. She slowly blinked her eyes open and attempted to take in her surroundings before turning her eyes to Logan, "Wh-wh-what...where...what happened?"
He shut his eyes tight and kissed her hand repeatedly, "Oh god...Marie...thank god."
Her hand went to her belly, which immediately caused her to notice the absence of her pregnant stomach. She began panicking, "Where's the baby! Where is she? Oh god!"
Logan took her by the shoulders and spoke calmly, "Marie...she's alright. She's beautiful."
She calmed slowly and smiled weakly, "She's ok?"
Logan nodded, "I saw her...she's amazing."
Marie smiled and closed her eyes as a tear streaked down her face, "She's ok...she's ok..."
Logan pressed the nurse's button to have someone come in and check on her, but instead, their daughter's incubator was wheeled in. Marie tried, unsuccessfully, to sit up.
The nurse smiled, "All of her tests checked out OK and she's ready to meet her parents. Mommy, you may be a little too weak to hold her yourself, but if the proud papa would like a try-"
Logan suddenly looked nervous, "I-I-I don't know if I should."
The nurse opened the incubator, "Oh you'll be fine! All daddies get a little nervous their first time...but once she's in your arms, you'll forget what it's like to not hold her. Now have a seat next to mama so she can see her."
Logan did as he was told, but kept the uncertain look on his face as the nurse approached him with the small bundle of pink blanket and baby.
She had to instruct him on how to position his arms before she gingerly set the baby in his embrace. Rogue leaned over as best she could and touched the baby's head, smiling, "What's her name gonna be?"
Logan felt a little awkward when he noticed Storm and Jubilee watching him carefully and with great curiosity. Storm took the hint and took Jubilee's hand, "We'll be outside."
Logan looked at Marie and shrugged, "I wanna name her after you."
Marie gave him a weak laugh and let out a breath, "I don't want to call her Marie."
He rocked the baby subconsciously, "Anna then."
Rogue sighed and nodded, "Fine. Her name is Anna."
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