*Thump*
Whuzzat?
The sudden noise invades my dreams, jerkin’ me from my sleep an’ makin’ the hair on the back o’ my neck prickle with the realisation that someone is tryin’ to get into my room. Tentatively, I test the air, the waning scent around me testament to the fact that Marie hasn’t been near for a couple o’ hours at least, an’ I’m pretty sure that this ain’t her - I taught her basic sneakiness better’n this. As my door clicks an’ begins to open, I level out my breathin’ an’ feign sleep, tippin’ my head so that I can keep half an eye on the door. Whoever my not-so-stealthy visitor is, they’ll be sorry they tried to creep up on the Wolverine in the middle o’ the night. Despite my healin’ factor still not being up to scratch, I’m not exactly helpless here, y’know.
My room is dark, but I can still see the figure that slips silently around the door, pausing to gesture animatedly to an accomplice who is still hoverin’ uncertainly in the hallway. The second figure joins the first an’ before my eyes can even begin to pick out facial details, their scent reaches me an’ I groan inwardly, wishin’ the ground would open up an’ swallow me whole.
Ah shit ……. I’m doomed ……
It really couldn’t be a lot worse. Magneto an’ Sabretooth could waltz in here right now an’ I wouldn’t bat an eye. Hell, even Scooter would get a civil ‘hello’, right before I sent him packin’ again. But I really musta done somethin’ downright evil in a past life to warrant a sickbed visit from Jubilee an’ Kitty.
Maybe I kicked puppies, or somethin’ …… ?
The point is, it’s almost three in the mornin’ an’ unless school rules have been relaxed drastically while I’ve been away with the fairies, these two should be safely tucked up in bed dreamin’ about the latest movie heart-throb. An’ I ain’t talkin’ about Remy Lefreakin’Beau here. He may be a heart-throb to some, but to me he’s just a pain in the ass. Referrin’ to yerself in the third person is not my idea o’ sexy.
So I’m guessin’ that my two visitors have a reason for sneakin’ into my room at three in the mornin’, although I’ll be damned if I know what it is. They haven’t just mistaken my door for theirs – I ain’t pickin’ up any trace o’ alcohol so they ain’t drunk. An’ there ain’t any alarms blarin’ out in the hallway, so they haven’t come to defend my honour against a sneak attack by the Brotherhood. To be honest, I’d rather go four rounds with Magneto than be cornered by Jubilee any day – at least he doesn’t try to talk me to death while rippin’ my claws out.
“Just put it on the bedside table, Jubes, and let’s go.” Kitty’s whisper is loud to my sensitive ears as she looks fearfully around my room. “I really don’t think we should be here.”
“Chill, ‘cat, we have permission.” They have? “Besides, he’s asleep. It’s not as if he can hear us.”
Okay, she really shouldn’ta said that, ‘cause my evil sense o’ humour is now picturin’ all kinds o’ mischief.
I’m just contemplatin’ unsheathin’ my claws to see what mayhem I can incite when I smell it …… Food ……
My mouth waters, an’ suddenly I have more spit than I know what to do with.
Jubilee moves nearer an’ the delicious smell o’ roast chicken grows stronger. My stomach growls in response an’ it takes all my self control not to leap from the bed, tackle the kid to the ground an’ steal the food. I’ve normally got more restraint than this, I’m relieved to point out, but my healin’ coma depletes my body’s energy levels far faster than normal, with the result that once I’m awake I have to eat, quickly an’ regularly. An’ the smell o’ that roast chicken now is drivin’ me crazy.
Okay, so there are two ways I can play this. I can pretend to wake, get my food an’ spend the next three hours havin’ my ears pummelled by Jubilee’s incessant chatter. Or I can play possum, wait until they leave an’ eat my food in peace.
It’s no contest. I’m really not sure my healin’ factor can deal with the kind o’ damage Jubilee can inflict on a person’s sanity, so I opt for the lesser o’ the two evils.
Unwisely, as it turns out.
Jubilee weaves across my darkened room, one hand held out in front o’ her as she gropes her way to my bedside, the other holdin’ a covered plate, an’ the mouth-waterin’ aroma o’ the chicken is growin’ more tantalisin’ with each step she takes. I usually prefer my meat rare – on occasion, raw – but when my energy levels are this low I’ll eat anything. I can almost taste the tender flesh in my mouth ……
She’s only about a foot away when it happens …… Her toe snags on something – the rug, a loose board, I dunno – an’ she pitches forward, flingin’ out a hand to arrest her fall …… a hand that comes down squarely an’ heavily right on my groin.
I howl in pain an’ shock, all pretense at sleep abandoned as Jubilee scrabbles backwards, her hands pressin’ in all sorts o’ awkward places in her haste to get off me.
“Oh shit! Lights, ‘cat, quick!” she yells.
Through the haze o’ pain, I realise what’s gonna happen. “No!” I roar, flingin’ out a hand to the figure still waitin’ in the doorway, too late to stop her from gropin’ for the light switch an’ flippin’ it down. Bright light floods my sensitive eyes an’ I squeeze them shut with an inventive curse, tryin’ in vain to bury my head under the pillow. “Christ! Turn it off!”
The light disappears as abruptly as it came, leavin’ me blinkin’ at the blackness, my night vision completely overwhelmed. Colours are swimmin’ before my eyes an’ it takes me a minute to realise that they’re real – Jubilee has generated a couple o’ low level fireworks an’ they’re swirlin’ around her hand, providin’ enough light to see by, but not overload my enhanced eyesight. I groan as a wave o’ dizziness washes over me. The sudden exertion has seriously taxed my depleted energy levels an’ my throat is burnin’, aggravated by my howl o’ pain. Jesus, could it be any worse …… ?
Jubilee rocks back an’ eyes me, innocently. “Hey, Wolvie. Did we wake you?”
I manage a fairly respectable growl. “No. I always lie awake at night waitin’ fer kids ta fall on me.” I collapse back onto the pillow, draggin’ a hand across my tired eyes. My throat still hurts like the devil, but at least I can string sentences together now. Well, hooray fer me. “The hell ya doin’ here, Jubilee? Ya got a death wish, or something?”
“Peace, dude. We brought you something to eat. I thought you might wake up hungry and …… oh geez ……”
She breaks off in dismay, the fireworks liftin’ to hover above her head as she notices the remnants o’ the sandwich strewn all over my bed covers. “Oh no! It’s ruined!” I cringe involuntarily as her wail assaults my ears. “Don’t worry, Wolvie, we’ll throw this away an’ make you another one.”
I wish she’d stop callin’ me that. How the hell am I supposed to keep up my bad-ass image in the field when she’s yellin’ out that stupid nickname to all an’ sundry ……? Wait ……. Did she just say ……?
“No!” My sudden command makes her jump an’ drop a piece o’ lettuce, an’ I take a calmin’ breath an’ try again. “It doesn’t matter. Jus’ give me the meat.”
“But it’s been on the bed,” Jubilee protests, pickin’ up one half o’ the bread an’ lookin’ at it, sadly. “It’ll be covered in fluff.”
Right now, I couldn’t care less if it’s been buried in the garden for the last six months an’ dug up by the mansion cat. I need it …… an’ sooner rather than later. Preferably before I pass out an’ make a fool o’ myself in front o’ the school blabber-mouths
I make a valiant effort to sit up, my eyes lockin’ onto a piece of chicken that is restin’ near the overturned plate. But I’m still too weak, god-dammit, an’ I groan as my elbow gives way, depositing me unceremoniously back onto the pillows. I can’t believe it’s come to this – betrayed by my own treacherous body in front of a pair o’ flamin’ kids. Embarrassment forces my eyes to close an’ I wait for the blessed release o’ oblivion to catch up with me.
The smell o’ chicken is suddenly strong under my nose an’ I look up to see Kitty holdin’ a piece for me. Her free hand alights gently on my shoulder. “Take it,” she says, softly.
I absolutely refuse to be hand fed like some invalid, but it takes a great deal o’ effort to raise a hand an’ take that piece o’ meat from her. She watches with a slight smile as I swallow it down almost without chewin’.
“More,” I growl.
“The hell you doin’, ‘cat?” asks Jubilee, as Kitty reaches over to take the remains o’ the sandwich out of her hands. She separates the meat from the bread an’ passes some of it over to me with a heartfelt sigh.
“Don’t you know anything, Jubilee?” Now that he’s awake, he needs to replenish his energy levels fast, or he’ll pass out.”
“And you know this how?” The bed tilts slightly as Jubilee plants herself at the end of it, regarding us both with a quizzical expression. I dutifully ignore her an’ concentrate on inhaling the chicken Kitty is handin’ me. Thank god somebody in this madhouse has an ounce o’ sense.
“I know this because he’s a team-mate, Jubilee.” Shadowcat treats her friend to a scathing glance. “Don’t you make it a point to learn about your team-mate’s powers?”
“Not really, no.” Jubilee doesn’t look the slightest bit chastened by Kitty’s apparent surprise, an’ hands her friend another piece o’ chicken. “Should I?”
“For heaven’s sake, Jubilee!” Kitty throws up her hands in disgust. My eyes follow the piece o’ meat she is holding as if drawn by a magnet. “Mr Summers says we should know everything we can about our team-mates’ powers and weaknesses. It could be the difference between life or death while out in the field.”
Bugger life or death in the field – I’m more concerned with the here an’ now. Kitty is holdin’ my lifeline an’ I want it. I growl a reminder an’ she dutifully hands it over.
Jubilee huffs an’ watches me thoughtfully as I chew on the last piece o’ meat. “So. You an’ Rogue, huh?”
“Jubilee!”
“What, ‘cat? I’m takin’ an interest in my team-mate, like you said.”
“That’s not what I meant, and you know it.”
“S’okay, Pryde. I have no intention o’ discussing my private life with Jubilee. Or anyone else, fer that matter.” The meat has taken the edge off my appetite an’ I’m feelin’ slightly lethargic or otherwise Jubilee’s query would have been met with something more than a sarcastic answer. I wave a hand vaguely in the direction o’ the hallway. “Don’t let the door hit ya on the way out.”
“But it’s not as though it’s a secret. The whole school knows.” Jubilee folds her arms an’ looks at me expectantly, obviously not planning on leavin’ any time soon. “Besides, Rogue couldn’t wait to tell us that you’d taken her virginity out by the boathouse. By moonlight,” she adds, her eyes sparkling.
“Christ!” I croak. I suspected Marie would boast to her friends, but I didn’t expect her to go into explicit detail.
“I think it’s romantic.” Kitty sinks down onto the other side o’ the bed with a wistful sigh an’ suddenly I am surrounded. “I wish Bobby would make love to me under the stars.”
“Think again, ‘cat, it must be dreadfully uncivilised. Twigs an’ stuff getting’ tangled in your hair, rocks poking you in the back, an’ grit finding its way into your unmentionables. How’s a girl supposed to look cool an’ alluring under those kinda conditions, huh?”
“Jubilee.” I allow a growl to rumble around my chest an’ hold up a fist, suggestively. In the space o’ four seconds she’s just taken my first night o’ passion with Marie an’ mangled it all to hell. Once again I gesture towards the door. “Much as I appreciate yer visit, I really would like some peace an’ quiet right now an’ I’m sure it’s way past yer bedtime.” The fact that my door is open an’ no one has come to investigate my groin-squashin’ howl o’ pain suddenly registers. “Where the hell is Rogue, anyway? Why isn’t she here?” I try not to make it sound as though I’m whining. The Wolverine does not whine, dammit, but these kids are tryin’ my patience.
“Oh, Rogue and the X-Men have gone on a mission,” Jubilee tells me, easily, leanin’ back on one hand.
“What, all of them?”
“Pretty much,” replies Kitty, seriously. “The Professor is still here, of course. But all the senior guys have gone. There’s just me an’ Jubes left, and all the students over in the other wing.”
Christ, I’m all alone up here! The twosome from hell could pretty much do whatever they wanted to me right now an’ no one would know, until the X-guys return an’ find my gibbering wreck of a body ……
I hope Kitty doesn’t bear a grudge about that tiger thing ……
Shadowcat, however, gives every impression of being above such things. “I think they’ve gone on a pick-up,” she informs me, helpfully. “I overheard the Professor telling Mr Summers that a young mutant had been cornered in a warehouse by a group of human rights protesters.”
“Where?”
“Boston, I think.”
“They haven’t been gone long,” Jubilee adds, cheerfully, makin’ the fireworks dance around her head. I wish she’d stop doing that, it’s makin’ me feel light-headed. “Rogue didn’t want you to be left alone, so she asked us to look in on you.”
“How nice o’ her,” I growl, through gritted teeth. We’ll have words later. Her choice o’ babysitters leaves a lot to be desired.
Suddenly feelin’ my hundred or so years, I close my eyes, allowin’ the last remnants o’ my mate’s scent to permeate my senses an’ lettin’ my mind conjure up the perfect image to go with it. I miss her …… I miss the way her gentle voice soothes me an’ makes me feel like a better man. I miss the soft touch of her hand on my skin, eager for any kind o’ contact after being so long denied, an’ the way that touch sends electric shocks coursing through my body. I miss her whisperin’ my name as we make love in the silence o’ the night ……
“She loves you, y’know.” Christ, are they still here? I’m more out of it than I thought – lettin’ my mind wander like that in front o’ the kids. I open my eyes an’ treat Jubilee to a glare. The firecracker merely grins back at me, lookin’ perfectly at home perched on the end o’ my bed. “God knows how she puts up with all the growling an’ the manly posturing, but that’s love for you. And I’d rather see her eyes looking at you all googly-like, than filled with tears at the thought of you being dead.”
The wisdom o’ that statement shakes me an’ I nod in agreement, surprised to be actually agreein’ with Jubilee about anything.
“Rogue said I was …… gone …… for six hours,” I manage to force out.
Kitty nods in confirmation.
“I was in the hallway when they brought you in,” adds Jubilee, with a grin. “God, there was blood everywhere. You were pretty gross.”
“Thanks. I’ll remember not ta bleed so much the next time I get shot.”
“Do that, dude, it’ll save a fortune on carpet cleaning bills. There’s a stain at the bottom of the stairs that just won’t shift, an’ we’ve had bleach on it an’ everything.”
I’m not even gonna ask ……
“It was worse when you came back right in the middle of the autopsy,” continues Kitty, with a frown. “You frightened Dr Grey so much that her mental scream gave everybody migraine for two days. And her psi-link with Mr Summers made him throw up all over the rec room carpet.”
“Really?” Well, hallelujah, there’s a bright side to everything, after all.
“He’s not been around much the past few days,” Jubilee informs me. “I think he’s keeping out of Rogue’s way, if you ask me.”
“Oh? What for?” I ask, tryin’ to stifle a yawn. That feelin’ o’ lethargy is makin’ a return appearance an’ is happily pointin’ out the way to Coma City. Seems that I ain’t done healin’ yet. Must remember to thank Henry for cuttin’ me all to hell ……
Jubilee grins widely at me, her teeth seemin’ to glow in the light from her fireworks. I can feel myself startin’ to zone out as she speaks …… “I’ll let Rogue tell you that little story herself, dude! I think you’ll get a kick outta it …… and …… he …… she says …… you just won’t believe ……”
It’s at this point that I realise my brain is wavin’ a white flag an’ surrenderin’ to the healin’ coma that is stealin’ over my body once more. I struggle to resist it, unwillin’ to pass out an’ leave myself at the mercy o’ the trainees from hell, but it’s like tryin’ to hold back the onset o’ night, an’ the next thing I know Kitty is smoothin’ my sheets an’ tuckin’ them around me like a mother hen.
If I wasn’t so far gone, I think I’d actually be kinda touched.
“Goodnight, Mr Logan,” she whispers, softly. “We’ll leave you alone now to sleep, but we’ll check on you again later.”
“Jus’ don’t fall on me again, ‘kay?” my brain responds, fuzzily. “I’d like ta have kids one day.”
“Whoo, lucky Rogue!” cheers Jubilee, as Kitty ushers her towards the door. “D’ya think she knows her boyfriend is planning on getting her pregnant?”
Fer Chrissakes ……!
The last thing I hear before black oblivion steals me away is Jubilee’s stage whisper. “Well, that didn’t go so bad. He’s just a big ol’ pussycat really …..!”