You feel like a candle in a hurricane
Just like a picture with a broken frame
Alone and helpless
Like you've lost your fight
But you'll be alright, you'll be alright
~ Rascal Flatts, "Stand"
“I don’t think I can do this anymore, Rogue.”
Those words shattered the world as she knew it. The dreams she had spun around her future turned dry and brittle, fragile enough to blow away on the chill night wind. Marie shivered and rubbed her arms, hoping that he would read it as a reaction to the cold air instead of what he said.
“What do you mean, Bobby?” Marie asked softly. She wanted it spelled out, even though she knew it would tear her up inside. Without the finality of the words, she knew her stubborn heart would hope. The past had taught her that.
“I need to move on with my life, Rogue, and I don’t think I can do that while we’re still together. Our lives are too different now. Your mutation is gone, and you don’t want to be on the team anymore. You want to travel and see the world before you settle down to college somewhere out west. All I want is to stay here and finish my education, and I definitely want to stay on the team, at least while I’m in college. I guess I just think it’s time for us to break up,” Bobby said calmly. His cool blue eyes showed no hint of regret.
Marie turned away from him slowly to look out over the balcony. She had assumed when he drew her out there after dinner that he’d wanted one of the cozy, romantic nighttime talks they’d indulged in so often throughout the past year. Instead, he’d thrown his lack of caring for her in her face, demanded that she acknowledge what she’d only begun to suspect recently. She was still reeling from the pain of it. For many reasons, so much of her had focused on making them work that it was difficult for her to believe the end had arrived.
The few students braving the cool night strolled around the gardens or played the last game of basketball for the night, oblivious to the situation above. Marie envied them that, and yet she wanted to yell, scream, and make them feel her pain. Instead, knowing that she couldn’t afford to appear weak, she let her spine stiffen and swallowed the tears that threatened to fall. She wouldn’t give Bobby or any of her new enemies at the school the satisfaction of seeing her upset. She also wasn’t about to go down without a few words of her own, either.
“Rogue, please say something.” Now there was a hint of fear in Bobby’s voice. She wasn’t reacting the way he had expected her to, she supposed.
Good.
“Rogue, I really think it would be best for both of us,” Bobby tried again, putting a hand on her shoulder.
“Marie,” she said quietly. Then louder, “My name is Marie.”
“Whatever. Look, listen to me,” he began, clearly about to start another list on why they were suddenly so wrong for each other.
Marie whirled around. She knocked Bobby off balance, literally and figuratively, and she planned to keep it that way. She pointed a finger at him and sneered.
“You egotistical, selfish bastard!” she shouted at him, backing him against the rough stone of the mansion’s outer walls with that one well-placed finger pressed into his chest and the fury in her eyes. “How dare you decide that you know ‘what’s best for me?’ You don’t even fucking know me! Just because you finally got into my pants, you think that gives you a window into my fucking mind so that you know what I need? I doubt it. All you think about is your wants, your needs. Well, fuck you, Bobby, because you’re about to get a wake-up call!”
“You used me, tried to play with my feelings, all to boost your own over-grown ego and eventually, if you could manage to keep it up long enough, add a notch to your bedpost. Let me tell you, though, lover-boy, that I’m no one’s notch. The only reason I ever needed you was as a front! If I was going out with you, no one would worry about ‘poor Rogue.’ The physical attraction was a plus, I guess, but let me tell you, little boy, I didn’t exactly see fireworks. Ever. So don’t go thinking I needed you for that. My battery-operated boyfriend could at least give me an orgasm, unlike you. No, I definitely don’t need a guy who could barely touch me during our first year together without wetting himself from fear, who was a disappointment in bed once we finally got there, and who can hardly wait to go back inside that goddamn house and start screwing a girl who doesn’t have half of what I’ve got in the brains or the body department. I don’t need you for any reason at all now, and let me tell you, I’m fucking relieved,” Marie finished loudly. Then she lowered her voice. “To tell you the truth, the biggest regret that I have about us, and I have quite a few, is that I wasn’t the one to break it off first,” she told him.
Bobby’s gaze, partly terrified and partly angry, followed her as she headed for the ornate French doors they’d left standing open. “So we’re through?” he spat out.
Marie glanced back at him, her back straight and her eyes darkly amused. “Sugar,” she said sweetly, using one of her mother’s favorite endearments as she deliberately let her accent thicken, “There was hardly ever enough of ‘us’ to be started. Don’t worry, though, we’re through.” She stepped through the doors and closed them behind her.
“That was some performance,” a voice behind her said.
Marie turned to face Logan, her eyebrows raised. “You approve?” she asked, having noted the amusement in his voice.
Logan reached over and gave her a quick hug around the shoulders as she started to walk by him. He leaned close and said, “I was just wondering what was taking so long, Marie.”
She smiled at him bitterly. “I guess I was just trying not to run,” Marie told him quietly.
Logan nodded thoughtfully. “Yeah, sometimes you’ve gotta have a reason. Next time, make sure it’s a good one,” he said, and then he turned and walked down the hall towards Professor Xavier’s old office.
Marie’s smile faded as she saw two other spectators watching a few feet away. The two young women stared at her with wide eyes. One of them she decided had no problem with, but the other one was a different story. Her mouth set into a grim line, she approached her target, as a hunter would prey.
Eyes fastened to Kitty’s, she gazed at her for a moment before saying, “He’s all yours, Kit-Kat.” She knew the use of their old affectionate nickname would sting the other woman, who flinched beneath her cold eyes. “Maybe you’ll be willing to settle for the little he has to offer longer than I was.”
With that, Marie walked off to seek the solitude of her room. She noticed wryly that the doors of rooms along the outside of the building closed as she passed by. Sometimes you find the best entertainment at home, she thought. Finally, reaching her room, Marie slipped inside and closed the door behind her. She leaned against the reassuringly solid wood and closed her eyes. It had been so hard to stay strong when all she wanted to do was let herself break down. No one would be able to accuse her of being heartbroken now, not once this juicy bit of news made the rounds. She was glad that she had her own room since taking the cure, even if it made her feel more like an outcast than a resident. There weren’t many who wanted to share a room with the traitor. Despite knowing that most of the students resented her, Marie hadn’t wanted to be cut off from those who still felt like family to her.
The soft bed called to Marie from across the room, and she wearily walked over and let herself sink down onto it. Her body seemed to take that as a signal, automatically curling in the moment her cheek touched the smooth satin of the coverlet. The tears began flowing before she realized it was happening, but she wouldn’t have stopped them anyway. She sobbed quietly, finally letting herself react to the pain in her heart.
So much had gone wrong in the past few months, but Marie hadn’t cried for most of it. Only Professor Xavier’s death had pulled the tears out of her, slow, burning tears that choked her as she muffled them in a quiet corner of the mansion. Now it was as if all the tears she should have cried for Scott, for Jean, and for the horrors that occurred at Alcatraz were flooding out at once. It was cleansing, in a way, but it left her drained. Unable to find the energy even to crawl under the blankets, Marie fell into a deep sleep.
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Story Notes:
A/N: I was inspired by a song to make Rogue’s life hell and then rebuild it. We’ll see how this first story in that process develops and go from there. This is unashamed songfic. In fact, the entire series that this will be a part of is one long songfic. Everyone bow down to the wonder that is Rascal Flatts.
Disclaimer: Not mine. I'd have treated them better...or not.
Disclaimer: Not mine. I'd have treated them better...or not.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Warning: Reappearance of Bitch!Rogue for this one. Man, I love her sometimes.
Chapter End Notes:
Yeah, there are sequels. Several if I have my way. This series is actually *gasp* plotted out ahead of time.