I cannot begin to explain how difficult it is to not think about what happened the night before when you’re sitting next to them. I tried to keep my eyes on the road, like he was. I tried to distract myself with my cell phone. I tried listening to music, reading a book, looking at the maps and eating gummy bears but no. Logan’s amused smile cannot and will not be avoided.
We were passing through the Rocky mountains in the middle of nowhere on an old dirt road now. He said it was s hortcut and I was in no mood to argue, so I kept my mouth shut as we drove against the mountain, right beside cliff that lead into a valley.
For the millionth time I let my gaze flicker over to him, and I rolled my eyes as I remembered...
10:00 pm the night before; the beginning of the party:
I was standing beside Bobby, we were talking for the first time in forever while the room was filled with people, the lights low and the music high. “So what do you want to do now that you’re nineteen?” He murmured taking a drink.
I smiled, unsure as I raked my brain for something I wanted to do. As I looked around Logan walked by, and the dark part of my brain took over. Just a moment later my head was filled with his amused laughter. The wolverine inside my mind was never taking time off from making fun of me.
I remembered Bobby there waiting for me. “I’m not sure,” I stumbled immediately. “I think I just want to have a good time.”
“We’ll make sure of that!” Kitty chirped from behind me. I laughed and adjusted my dress slightly It went down to just above my knees. It was black, a bit more tight than my usual attire. It certainly didn’t leave much to the imagination, which could be why Logan was avoiding me.
My circle of friends laughed and shared stories at my expense while Remy came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me, resting his chin on my shoulder. I remember telling him I loved it when he did this when we were dating, but it’s different now of course. Now we’re not. As I gentle started to push him off he pulled me closer. “What’re wrong with some fun now and then chere?”
There was a growl behind me, Remy’s arms dropped to his sides and I spun around to see Logan with that look in his eyes. The one he nor I can describe. I ask him what he’s thinking, and all he can say is ‘thoughts.’ He says some thoughts can’t be explained, some things can only be felt. There’s no logic to them, the indescribable emotion simply floods you when they occur.
Logan didn’t meet my gaze. He was staring at Remy. “You’re right,” he grumbled as he walked forward still not looking at me and handed me a beer. “What’s wrong with some fun now and then?” The tone in his voice was part joke part ‘get the fuck out of here Gambit.’
Logan watched Remy walk away before taking a big swig of his beer and turning back to me.
“Having a good time kid?”
Present time...
I snapped back to reality in a moment. “What?” I mumbled, trying to remember what he had just said. Logan smiled. “I said are you having a good time kid?” I rubbed the back of my neck and looked around.
I felt my eyes narrow. “You aren’t allowed to call me kid anymore.” I murmured. “I’m not a kid anymore.”
I watched his grin stretch across his face. “Believe me. I know that.” His voice was overly dramatic as I said that and I suddenly felt like an idiot. I knew he was remembering something about last night. I couldn’t begin to think of what.
“Do you want to talk about last night?” he murmured slowly.
“No.” I answered easily.
“And why not?” He said slyly.
I shrugged. “I don’t remember most of it.”
He chuckled, and glanced away from the road to look at me briefly as he did. “That’s okay. I do.” I folded my arms across my chest not wanting to reply and hoping that he’d shut up. That’s too much to ask of Logan. Keeping his mouth shut is not something he’s good at. “Well where can I start?” he smiled. “I’ll fill you in darling.”
“I don’t want you to fill me in and I don’t want to talk about it. I’d honestly just like to not be in this car.” I hissed darkly glancing away from him. We were in the middle of nowhere, hadn’t passed a car in hours.
He stopped the car and looked over at me. “You’re saying you can’t even stand to be in the same car as me now?”
I took off my seatbelt and got out, slamming the door. “No. I’d just rather not have to go anywhere right now.”
“Grow up Rogue, we fucked. We didn’t decide to go steady. Would you calm down for a minute?” He yelled getting out of the car and walking over to me.
“Don’t tell me to calm down!” I hissed backing away from him towards the cliff behind me. “I’m fine with it! It wasn’t a problem for me.”
“Oh it wasn’t?” he laughed. “Yeah. That explains why you’ve been avoiding me, the subject of it and constantly throwing it in my face that it was a mistake.”
“And I’m not the one going around fucking everyone and then telling me that they meant nothing to you!” I screamed. “I don’t want to mean nothing Logan! I don’t want to be another Emma, Jean, Kayla or Storm!”
I saw his eyes soften for just a moment before his arms wound around my waist, and he kissed me hard. I felt us leaning up against the car, and his hands sliding up my shirt, my legs around his torso. Every part of me was tingling.
I heard the slight crunch of tires on the dirt road and I immediately pushed him off me, thinking that someone was driving towards us. But when my feet landed on the ground, I realized it was the car behind me moving. It was going backwards.
Logan and I watched in shock as it picked up speed and rolled down the road, and then rolled off the cliff.
“Shit.”
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