Disclaimer: This fan fiction is not written for profit and no infringement of copyright is intended.

Senator Norman Osborne lost his seat in the next election, mainly due to his being caught in a sex scandal with gorgeous mutant exotic entertainer Tamsin Le Rapture and her pet sheep, Bert. The senator’s many denials regarding getting down and dirty with said mutant hoochie-mamma receiving scant notice from jaded New Yorkers. He has never however stopped proclaiming his innocence-

Though coincidentally, Mystique had been temporarily released to help the X-Men the week the story of Osborne’s fall from grace made headlines. Apparently she was shocked and appalled at Tamsin’s poor taste in johns. Though she was notably grinning as she re-entered The Vault to finish her sentence...

Gotta admit it, the Porn Smurf does have style.

The footage of Victor Creed having the shit kicked outta him by Kitty did not in fact win America’s Funniest Downloads: He was beaten by footage of a tangoing monkey wearing a sombrero hat and chaps. However Jubes’ next Facebook project, an online petition to get Creed cast as a snarf in the upcoming Thundercats live action movie, was far more successful. Rumours that he will be playing Crookshanks in the final Harry Potter film are, however, completely without merit- Yet.

Nothing of note happened to Callum Montgomery; He’s actually that boring. And just because he’s a doctor it doesn’t mean that’s likely to change. Still, he does have some interesting dreams involving the X-Man Rogue and black leather-

But he doesn’t like to talk about that. Ever.

Jubilation LeBeau delivered twins six weeks after the riot in the Vault, and about ten minutes after her husband passed out in the delivery room. She named the girl Serendipity and the boy Logan- Not that she’s hoping her son inherits his namesake’s temper but it’s kinda cool to tease the Wolvster about being a good influence and shit. Storm has already ordered the entire Mansion fire-proofed and is awaiting the onset of the twins’ powers with bated breath-

As is the Westchester fire department.

Marie and Logan were married about two years ago, somewhere outside Las Vegas. The wedding ceremony being real fucking private, real fucking successful, and apparently one Helluva good time. It was hosted by Stacey X and attended by just about every superhero in New York- Which is saying something when you think how unfriendly the groom usually is. And how many many of the guests have tried to kill or maim him over the years. Kitty and Jubes were bridesmaids, Hank gave the bride away- Though the rumour that AC/DC actually played their reception because they owed Kitty a favour is apparently completely false. Rumours that Logan has taken to actually, you know, smiling and shit these days should likewise be taken with a pinch of salt-

Though he says he prefers a pinch of Marie…

And finally…

In case you’re wondering? Roguey totally got her groove back.

And her Wolvie.

And her place on the team.

In fact, she’s back in black and really fucking happy about it- So let’s give her’n the big lug some privacy, yeah?

Because they all lived as happily ever after as the X-Men can do-