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“Okay: Spill.”

And Kitty gestured towards the park bench to her right. Seating herself demurely on it, ankles crossed, and holding out her little flask of whiskey like she was offering a toy to a toddler. Logan shot her his usual cocked eyebrow- he was trying so hard to pretend he wasn’t hurt- before finally settling himself down beside her. Taking the whiskey, swigging it back. Making good steady eye-contact with the grass. Someplace far away she knew that Tony Stark was talking to the press, trying to spin this positively for the X-Men but it wasn‘t her place to help. Because here and now, Logan needed her. Here and now, she might finally get him to talk. The silence spread out, punctuated by occasional birdsong and the faraway roar of traffic-

Kitty had been around him long enough to know that he’d talk when he was good and ready, that being the case.

A beat.

“I’m an asshole,” he began then. Shifting slightly in his seat, hissing at the pain in his gut though it was very slowly healing from what Pryde could see. His heart though- she knew that was another story.

But she kept the thought to herself.

“You’re going to have to be more specific, sensei,” she retorted. “That’s a fairly general observation.”

He cocked an eyebrow at her. “I’m a stupid asshole,” he clarified.

“See, that wasn’t so hard.” And she smiled slightly, holding out the flask again. Watching him take another mouthful, knowing that if she tried to bully him or sweet talk him he’d shut up for good. Jubes may have been his second and Marie may have been the love of his life but Kit knew he saw her as the voice of reason and always had done-

And if he was willing to talk to her when he hadn’t shared what was bothering him with Rogue, then that probably meant Marie was the cause of it. And also that he needed to talk to someone who wouldn’t paff his ass or wail on it when they heard just what sort of an asshole he’d been. Which meant he needed to talk to her and her only-

So she let another beat pass.

“Do you remember how me an’ Marie got together?” he asked quietly then. “You remember what happened- With Banner?”

“It was hard to forget.” And despite herself Kitty smiled, picturing the first time she’d seen Logan kiss Marie. He and the girls had been loaned out to help with the Hulk-buster mission and he’d gotten his ass handed to him by the not-so-Jolly Green Giant. To this day it was the most beat-up she’d ever seen him: He’d literally looked like a walking corpse. The Hulk had held him in one fist, lifting him high in order to land a killing blow- When suddenly Marie had metalled up using Pyotr’s mutation and darted into the middle of the battle. Snatched him from the creature’s clutches and then hightailed it back to the jet. He’d argued all the way, yelling about how she shouldn’t have put herself in danger like that and how she couldn’t be so fucking reckless when she didn’t have a healing factor of her very own and how if she tried that again he’d kill her himself. He’d even tried to go back for seconds, just to prove he wasn’t beat. The argument continued all the way home in the jet, all the way up the stairs into the Mansion-

And then when they’d reached the Infirmary Marie had simply grabbed him and kissed him. Hard enough to make Hank’s eyes bug out on stalks. Hard enough to shut him up but good. The Mansion had cheered and just like that Marie and Logan were an item-

Though judging by the expression on his face now, Kitty was beginning to suspect it hadn’t been that simple.

In fact, judging by the way he was staring at his claws, at the grass, at anything but her, she knew it hadn’t been that simple.

The silence stretched out some more.

“The first time I kissed her was probably the happiest I’ve ever been,” he said then. Addressing his knuckles, his voice little more than a growl. She had to lean forward to hear. “You got no idea Kit- I never thought I’d love someone like I love her. I never thought I’d get that lucky, with all the evil shit I’ve done in my time-”

“Different lifetime, sensei,” she muttered soothingly. “Different man. You can’t let that stuff define you-”

“Bullshit. All you have is what you do, and I’ve done some fucked up shit in my day.” And he twisted his hands together, face turned away. Once again making steady eye contact with the grass. Kitty was surprised it didn’t up sticks and run away.

“Is that what you did to Marie?” she asked quietly then. “Some fucked up shit?” Because when in doubt, go fish…

“What do you know about that?”

“Nothing. Same as everyone. I just woke up one day and she was gone.” She lowered her gaze to the same spot he was staring at. Made sure to keep her voice calm. “But I’m guessing you know what happened, even if you never told anyone. And forgive me for saying sensei, but right now you’re talking like a guilty man.” She decided to push him. “So what was her name?” she asked. “Or did you catch it?”

And suddenly he let out this weird, strangled breath of a gasp. Looking…vulnerable. Vulnerable and freaked. It made Kitty nervous, because she wasn’t used to seeing him that way. “Jesus H. Christ,” he muttered. “You knew?”

What the Hell? “Knew what, sensei? Knew what?”

And then-

Anger seethed through her as realisation dawned, for Marie’s sake more than her own. He was trying to stand but he couldn’t, thanks to the stomach wound and had to settle with running a hand through his messy hair instead: He must have read her expression because immediately he started back-pedalling, fit to set her teeth on edge. “It ain’t like you’re thinking,” he was muttering. “I mean- I can’t figure out whether what I did was better or worse, but it wasn’t cheating. It was just sex, and it was just the one time-”

“How could you?” she demanded. “How could you do that to Rogue? Do you have any idea how much damage you’ve caused?” And she crossed her arms angrily, more to restrain herself from thumping him than anything else. When she’d pushed him she hadn’t thought she was right: She’d just figured his righteous indignation at being accused of cheating would get him past his nervousness to the point where he’d spill. But now- “Let me guess,” she bit out. “It was some random barfly, wasn’t it? Some skank you wouldn’t have looked at twice if Marie was there. For fuck’s sake, sensei! Did she have red hair or had you abandoned that particular cliché?”

“It wasn’t like that!”

“Then what was it like?” She stood up, for the first time in a long time wishing her power were dangerous. Like Remy’s or Jubilee’s. “Were you lonely?” she snapped. “Frustrated? Horny? Was Marie too young or too normal or not enough-”

“I did it fer Marie!” he snarled.

And he got to his feet, face in hers. The pain in his gut apparently forgotten in the midst of his doubt and rage. He had a grip on her upper arms now, so hard it actually hurt, but she couldn’t pull away. Though man, she was confused as Hell. “I did what I did fer Marie,” he was muttering. “I didn’t want- The thing with Banner, and then Sabre-tooth, and then the Hand kidnapping her- I nearly lost her too many times to let it go on.” He let out a howling puff of breath, his face twisted in frustration. The grip on Kitty so hard he’d leave a bruise. “She wouldn’t listen, Kit,” he was saying tightly. “She thought she was immortal, all three of you did-”

“But we were the best of the best-”

“Dammit woman, it’s not about being the best! It’s about being flesh and blood!” And he put a twist on those last words, spitting them like they were a curse. Which to him, she supposed they were. “Don’t matter how good you are,” he was hissing, “All we need is one psychotic little critter to have a Good. Fucking. Day. And you’re worm-food. Gone. ’Cept unlike me, you girls don’t come back from the dead.” He squeezed the bridge of his nose, shoulders shaking. She’d never seen him so upset. “It had happened before, don’t you get that?” he was muttering. “She died on Liberty Island: I felt her go. She wasn’t breathing, she was so fucking cold. The kids in the Mansion tell that story like it’s a fucking fairytale but if you’d been there-” And he shook his head as if to force the image away. Hands twisting, the knuckles turning white. Kitty winced and he seemed to belatedly realise how tightly he was holding her because he forced himself to let her go. To step away and get a grip.

They both let out a sharp breath then.

“Look,” he growled after a moment, “I don’t expect you to approve. I know what I did was stupid and shitty- But it wasn’t about getting some. And it wasn’t about her not being enough, or any o’ that shit. It was about not wanting her to die because she seemed to be in love with an asshole who’d done nothing to deserve her his whole life and had a job that kept her in danger pretty much every day.” The hazel eyes looked into hers, as close as she’d ever seen him to pleading though what he wanted her to give him she didn’t know. “Ya gotta believe me, Kit,” he was saying, “I couldn’t protect her. I tried but I couldn’t. So I did the one thing I knew would make her run far enough away to protect herself. I planned it, I- I let her catch me with someone else-”

And just like that he sat down. Fight gone out of him.

Leaving Kitty to close her mouth with a snap and sink back into her seat.

They were quiet for a really long time after that. Logan scowling straight ahead of him, Kitty staring into space and trying to process what she’d heard. A couple of joggers passed them but sped up when they saw Logan: His expression was apparently scary enough to put people who’ll run through Central Park for fun to flight. Kitty tried to make sense of what he’d told her, but it was useless: How could he have trained Marie, how could he have had her on the team, if that was the way he felt? How could he ever have led her in the field? And yet- He’d never been able to deny her anything. He might make her work for what she wanted, but he’d give it to her eventually all the same. And he adored her, even now that was obvious: You didn’t need to be a telepath or a genius to understand the way he looked at her. The way he’d looked at her even as she’d walked off with the idiot boyfriend of hers today. Kitty tried to put herself in his place: If it had been her in Logan’s shoes and Pyotr in Marie’s, would she have done the same thing? If, like Rogue, Pyotr had developed a knack for getting the crap kicked out of him on missions and still walking away would she have handled it any better than the Wolverine? And the answer was obvious: Of course she wouldn’t have. She’d just have talked it through with him instead of going off half cocked and punishing herself for the things she hadn’t done. Stupid asshole is right. Inwardly Kitty sighed: The weird thing was that she could understand Logan- Though she couldn’t agree with him. Because she still knew she wouldn’t have wanted the choice taken from her, and if she loved someone she wouldn’t have wanted the choice taken from them either, no matter how much it cut her heart. But then things looked different to you, when you were a girl who’d spent most of your life fighting for the chance to make that choice for yourself-

A beat.

“Well,” she said softly, “I guess you’re right then: You’re an asshole.”

He lowered his head, shoulders hunching. Mouth twisting into a thin, straight line.

“Told you,” he growled. “Least I’m honest.”

“That you are.” And she took one hand, pulled is towards her. He tried to give her a smile but it came out strained. “The thing of it is, though,” she said softly, “You’re our asshole, Logan. Me, Jubes and Marie: You’re ours. And when you’re hurting- that means we’re hurting. When you ache, we ache. That’s what family is.” His face twisted in pain at her words and she laid her head on his shoulder, gave his hand another little squeeze. He gave a puff of breath that was almost like a sigh as she did it, resting his cheek on the top of her head. Man, he felt tense. “I don’t think there’s anything you could do to change that,” she continued after a moment. “Not to me, Jubes- Or to Marie. And that’s what this is really about, isn’t it, sensei? You want to tell her the truth but you think she’ll hate you- And if you don’t tell her the truth you think she’ll hate you anyway and leave. Whichever choice you make you feel like you’ll lose us-”

“I don’t deserve you.” He sounded like he was trying to keep his voice even but he wasn’t quite managing it. His hand was tight in hers. “I never deserved any of you. What I did- Heart in the right place and all but I still made Marie cry… And that’s just not fucking good enough. Not fer my girls.” And from sheer frustration he pulled his hand free, let lose the claws.

A passing jogger yelped.

Kitty cocked an eyebrow. “So why tell me this at all?” she countered. “Why get upset, why get into a pissing contest with that dick she’s dating if you’ve accepted that you shouldn’t be in her life?”

““Dick”?” he muttered. “You really don’t like that guy, do you?”

“No, I don’t. And you’re trying to avoid my question.”

He gave a ghost of a smile. “Shit: That trick works on Jubes-”

“Well I’m not Jubes. And you’re not answering.” Again she gave his hand a squeeze, claws and all. “So stop squirming and tell me why.”

He stared at her hand on his for a full three minutes before he finally answered her. “Because I still love her,” he said eventually. “Because- Because I’ve had two years of life without her and I don’t like it none. Won’t ever fucking like it, I get that now. Maybe it makes me selfish, but I don’t care anymore…” And he squeezed his eyes shut, turning his head heavenwards. His free hand suddenly pressing hers down against the blunt side of the blades. “She’s wasting her life, Kit,” he said softly. “It was okay when I thought she’d be better off, but that boyfriend of hers is a prick. And if she wants to waste her life on a prick then at least she should waste it on one who’d do anything fer her.” He looked up at her, the gaze clear and hunter-bright and honest. “I guess what I’m saying is- I want her back. I want her back and I think I need your help to make that happen.” A beat of silence. “Please, Katherine. Please.”

And with that he dropped her hand. Went to move away.

Kit couldn’t let him: She’d never heard him say please before, not even to Marie.

So she met his gaze, calm and measured, and then very slowly nodded. Laid one hand on his cheek. “Okay sensei,” she said. “Okay. We can do that- We can work on getting you back with Marie.” He opened his mouth to thank her and she spoke over him. One finger levelled at his lips. “But understand something: You ever hurt her like this again and I’ll feed you to Sabre-tooth. Hell, they probably won’t even find the body: The Hand will be the only people who know what’s happened to you. Understood?”

“Understood. If I’m ever that stupid again I’ll hand myself over to them gift-wrapped.”

“That is a very disturbing image, sensei.”

“Thank you, I try.”

And with that they shook, nodding. Both understanding exactly what they were asking of the other, and starting to make plans.

While to their left, surprisingly unnoticed, Callum Montgomery frowned and put his camera-phone away. Making sure to save the photos as he did. Because after all, he’d only taken one picture of that animal and his current prospect-

But one picture should be more than enough to convince Marie.