Disclaimer: This fan fiction is not written for profit and no infringement of copyright is intended.

“Aw Porn Smurf,” Marie growled. “D’ya even need to ask that?”

And without hesitation she smashed her fist into Mystique’s nose, breaking the cartilage and knocking the mutant’s head back against the wall beside her with a nasty Crack! Forcing the shape-shifter’s torso into the wall again with a sharp jab and then kicking her soundly in the solar plexus. If Mystique had thought that wearing Logan’s face would put her off her game she was deeply fucking mistaken-

Because after all, she’d been wanting to kick the shit outta him for two damn years.

Jubie and Kit scrambled to their feet then, the firecracker’s paffs spitting and burning around her like a bonfire, Kitty reaching out and dosing Marie with her mutation- just like old times. Mystique dodged the plasma globes, smashing her fist into the pulse generator and destroying it: Immediately the compound’s security system went into lockdown, the automatic doors slamming shut as it registered a threat- Which meant that getting outta here had just gotten a whole Helluva lot more complicated.

The words sitting, fucking and duck suddenly seemed mighty descriptive of their situation, Rogue thought then.

“Kit-” Jubie began but Pryde was way ahead of her: She reached into her jacket, pulling out the X-Man’s version of a Blackberry and booting it up. Ducking behind the couch and trying to hack into Forge’s security system and get them out. Jubes ran interference, keeping the Kitten safe while Marie made sure Mystique didn’t stop her. It was almost easy: Marie turned her body metal, smashing one fucking heavy hand into the Blue Bitch’s face and knocking her flying. Kicking the now prostrate mutant viciously in the kidneys when she landed, then dragging her to her feet by her hair. She’d taken the liberty of borrowing Pyotr and Bobby’s powers before she left the mansion (though not Remy’s, experience having taught Rogue that explosive mutations and her were a Biblically bad mix) and she intended to use every one of her borrowed gifts on the bitch before her-

“Is that the best you got, daddy’s girl?” Mystique muttered through bloodied lips.

“Hell no,” Marie retorted, “Ah got plenty more in mah bag.” And she dug her nails viciously into Mystique’s throat, drawing on Bobby’s mutation and forcing ice beneath the tissue. Making Mystique hiss as frost raced beneath her skin and then head-butting her again. Since beating up the Porn Smurf when she looked like Logan was doing wonders for her sense of Zen. The shape-shifter rallied, dazed perhaps by the viciousness of the attack but unwilling to let Marie have this round: She slashed angrily at the younger woman but Rogue ducked out of the way at the last minute, letting her fake claws smash into the wall behind both of them. Her opponent giving a yelp of pain as her knuckles and not real adamantium hit home and Marie shot her a feral grin.

“Smarts, don’t it Porn Surf?”

“Stop calling me that,” Mystique snarled.

Marie’s smile widened. “Make me. Porn Smurf-”

And she pulled herself to her feet, holding her hands out in a come to Momma gesture which did nothing to help Mystique’s temper. The Blue Bitch snarled, making a run at her, fake claws popped and ready to slash and at the last minute Marie phased herself with Kitty’s mutation, letting her opponent run through her and straight into the wall behind with a painful smash. Jubie snickered- Even Mystique looked embarrassed at being caught out by such a rookie manoeuvre- and Marie picked up Kitty’s discarded champagne bottle. Hefting the sharp glass in her hand and smashing it down hard towards the side of Mystique’s head. Once, twice, three times. It made contact- there was plenty o’ blood spatter- but before she could round on the shape-shifter again she was forced to fall back-

As the wall beside her exploded inwards in a shower of wood and sparks.

Marie took cover behind a shattered coffee table and watched as two glowing yellow-white orbs appeared in the middle of the room. The impact having shorted out anything electronic- including the lights. For a moment all was still and then- Then- Something, some human-shaped metal thing unfurled itself from where it had landed. Standing straight and tall like a shining statue.

A statue which appeared to be listening to AC/DC, if her ears were to be believed.

Well, Rogue thought, at least it has taste.

“I can pay for the damage,” Tony Stark’s voice sounded then, the music fading out. Was he listening to a fucking I-Pod? “But in fairness, it’s totally worth it for an entrance like that.” And despite the fact that his face was covered, Marie couldn’t help the suspicion that he was grinning. Proud of himself, though they might well now be trapped in Forge’s compound and if there had been any civilians in the situation they would all be toast.

Fucking newbies, she thought viciously.

“Fucking newbies,” Jubes muttered behind her.

A beat.

The Blue Bitch seemed to recover then. It was weird: For a split second Mystique looked torn, like she didn’t wanna leave. Her eyes flashing yellow, blue edging through her veins- half Logan, half Porn Smurf, all pain in the ass- before skittering to her feet, her decision obviously made. She swung her elbow back into Marie’s face, smashing into her jaw and then clawing at one of the younger woman’s gloves, tearing it from her hand so quickly that she Marie didn‘t even have a chance to stop her. It seemed such a weird thing to do, but before she had a time to ponder it the Blue Bitch was on her feet and away. Jubes made a grab for the shape-shifter’s ankle but the Stark action figurine raised its hand, an orb of light glowing in its palm and Mystique shifted Jubes’ smaller body in front of hers to take the impact. Stark couldn’t or didn’t stop himself and the firecracker let out a string of cuss words as his beam smacked into her chest, knocking chica on her ass and stunning her. Mystique shot them one last grin as she tore out through the compound like the devil himself was on her tail-

And then she was eaten up in the darkness. Leaving the three women glaring at the Stark.

“What?” the billionaire muttered. “Wasn’t that a win? That she ran away?” And the metal creature popped its visor, showing them Stark’s handsome, mock-innocent face.

“Ooh look,” Jubie muttered, getting gingerly to her feet. “Santa Clause sent us the new Forrest Gump Transformer for Christmas. Yay.” And despite the fact that he had a metal body she smacked the suit on the back of the head before limping outside. As did Kitty. And Rogue. Though she metalled up her fist like Pyotr’s when she did it, just in case it actually hurt the bastard. “Way to go, newbie,” she muttered. “Now we’ll never find out what the Porn Smurf knows, or where Logan is-”

But Tony smiled devilishly, stopping her in her tracks. One hand on her elbow and then (after pondering how unhealthy that position was) one hand on his hip.

“Oh ye of little faith,” he said. She cocked an eyebrow at him. “Let’s just say, I only got the party started…”

Victor peered through the glass at his brother.

The Runt was a mess; Falling apart physically and mentally, talking to that little fucking parasite of his even though she wasn’t really there. It was the mixture of drugs, physical torture and having his healing factor turned off: he didn’t know which way was up, where he even was. Vic shook his head: He’d spent so long planning, calculating- And yet now that it was so close to fruition, now that he could see the Runt falling apart before him-

He didn’t like it none.

“You’re not having second thoughts, are you?” a voice sounded behind him then. The voice of the boss man, the one who’d put this together. A credit t’the gene pool, even if Vic did say so himself.

“Of course not,” Creed growled. “Just admiring my work is all.” And he grinned as Mystique limped by him, looking like- looking like she’d gone ten rounds with him and come out the worse fer wear. It was a mighty pretty sight.

“What the fuck are you looking at?” she muttered.

“Nothing,” he said, face angelic. “It’s just, weren’t you supposed to have someone with you, Rave?”

“Fuck you and the horse you fucking rode in on, you cock-sucking asshole,” she snapped.

His grin widened further. “You kiss your Momma with that mouth?”

“No, I fucking kiss yours. After she’s done licking me off.” And she turned to the boss man, her expression an inch away from homicidal. Embarrassed, but homicidal.“I couldn’t get them,” she was muttering. “The parasite ran me off.” And she winced, feeling at her bleeding temple. “Besides we may have another player: This metal… thing turned up. Not the fucking smartest, but a heavy hitter. He’s with the girls now.”

“So you failed,” the boss man said simply.

“Yes,” Rave muttered, “I-I underestimated them. They came looking for a fight, and I didn’t realise they’d play by Papa Wolverine’s rules. But I did manage to get a little something for your boy.” And she held up Marie’s stolen glove, still stained with the younger woman’s blood. Smiling slightly now when she saw how pleased the boss’s expression had become. “Can we synthesize the scent?” she asked him.

“Oh,” the boss man muttered. “I think we can do better than that.”

And for the first time since he had known him, Victor saw the little bastard smile.