Disclaimer: This fan fiction is not written for profit and no infringement of copyright is intended. Unbetaed so all mistakes are mine.

“Sensei…”

Kitty Pryde gestured to the army of girls surrounding both her and Logan. The army of powered up, pouting, sweaty-from-the-Danger-Room mutant girls who were all looking less than pleased. Put out, even. Each and every one of them was gazing at Logan like a junkie stares at a crack mule. A crack-mule who’s limping. Badly.

Something told Kitty that the girls were not here to talk about the fine craft of needle-point. Or the relative merits of Tony Stark’s Fifty State Initiative plan.

“Sensei,” the former Shadow-cat reiterated, “We appear to have company.”

“I got that.” Logan shot her a shark-like grin over his shoulder. “They got us surrounded: Hold me, Kitten, I’m scared.”

Emma Frost, AKA The White Queen, (AKA the White Skank, according to one, admittedly biased, Jubilation Summers) was tapping her toe now. Looking for all the world like the patron saint of WASP-hood, her pristine white corset shining, her why-yes-I-AM-a-hooker kinky boots polished til they hit a sparkly-high gleam. Kitty looked down at her own dishevelled, post-Danger Room apparel and decided she felt under-dressed, but maidenly. Modest. And she bet La Frostique never felt that. Muscled, oiled up young men, but not that. And so long as one of those muscled, oily men wasn’t Pyotr Rasputin, everything would be both fine and dandy with her world. She stood on tip-toe for a head-count, silently marvelling at how many teenage girls had managed to cram themselves into the Head-Mistress’ Office. Also idly wondering how many of the said girls were skipping class to do so.

Like ya even have t’ask that, Kitten, Rogue’s voice chimed in her head. If given the choice ‘tween American Government in Context and a Logan Versus Frosty Smack-down, which would you choose?

Well, the littlest ninja certainly knew the answer to that.

Amen, and praise the Lord, sugah, her inner Marie agreed. May Logan never grow fond o’ slacks.

Still, Kitty was shocked to realise almost half the senior class had turned up for this: Less females had turned up for the announcement of the first New X-Men teams’ leadership. But then she craned her neck to check out her sweaty, beat-up, devil-may-care sensei, a vision (if she did say so herself) in sweats and a white wife-beater t-shirt. The man practically oozed danger and sex-appeal the way Magneto oozes scorn: Considering how glorious that sight was, Kitty had to admit the female head-count wasn’t totally surprising. Though, since one was never supposed to ogle one’s sensei, she immediately dropped her gaze to her shoes. Lest she set a bad example for the girls, of course. Oooh, look, she thought, floor-tiles: Fascinating.

“Well?” Frost inquired icily then, enunciating carefully. She gestured to the pack of teenage girls, her PVC opera gloves squeaking as she did so. Once again Kitty felt a surge of gratitude that she’d been born with the modesty gene. “Care to explain this, Kitten and Hairy?” the blond drawled snootily.

“Not even a little bittie bit, Wanton and Rubber,” Wolverine shot back. Realising her Grand Inquisitrix Routine wasn’t going to get her jack with Logan, the telepath turned her imperious gaze on Kitty. She knew that Pryde wouldn’t publicly show dissension with another teacher. But that didn’t stop La Kitten flipping her the finger in her head. Touché, was Frost’s telepathic response.

The silence stretched out.

“I swear, I had nothing to do with this,” Pryde exclaimed eventually, because if she didn’t they’d be there until Doomsday. And she at least had American-Russian relations to strengthen. “Seriously, I didn’t even know they were going to be here when you called.” Of course, that would have been a lot more convincing if Jubilee hadn’t been snorting with laughter behind her. And if Bobby Drake hadn’t been following suit. Even Cyclopes was snickering, yet more proof as if proof were needed of what a bad influence his new wife had been on him. Despite her best intentions Kitty felt a traitorous giggle start shivering up through her, and once again she dropped her eyes to the floor. One of the girls- Kitty suspected it was Ashida- had begun humming the Desperate Housewives theme song, and unsurprisingly it wasn’t helping Frosty Van Der Kampf enhance her calm any. Nor was it helping Kitty keep a straight face.

“No, seriously,” Pryde tried again, stepping back now, “They came up with this on their own. Didn’t you, girls? Didn’t you..?” But nobody answered, and despite herself a small grin escaped her, her eyes sparking with barely suppressed glee. It wasn’t like she could lie to Emma now: The woman was one of the most powerful telepaths on the planet. She had to know what was on everyone’s mind. The blonde goddess’ right eye-lid was twitching ever so slightly, though Kitty suspected that had more to do with Jubilee’s presence than her thoughts. Ever since the flirting with Scott had started, Jubes had made it her mission in life to drive her rival off the deep end.

And she was succeeding admirably, from what Marie had said.

“Kitten, you’re not answering my question,” Frost demanded snarkily then. Perhaps having picked up the stray thought about Jubilee and Cyke. Tossing one perfectly coiffed lock over her shoulder she scowled, her expression becoming irritated. “What’s the matter, Wolverine got your tongue?”

I sometimes wish, Kitty thought before she could stop herself. Every telepath in the room shot her a grin.

“She’s not answering because this is not about her,” Ashida pointed out to save her blushes. “It’s about the Advanced Combat Class with Professor Logan, and the way you’ve just kicked it to the curb.” There were murmurs of agreement amongst the girls and some nasty-sounding hair fluffing of their own. Once again all eyes went to Logan, and if they’d been able to somehow hook up the hormone surge that generated Kitty knew they’d have been able to power the Mansion for a month. Scratch the Mansion: they could have lit up Tokyo like Vegas, and had some juice left to spare. “We read the post,” Surge continued, her hands crackling with barely suppressed, electrical annoyance. “We know it’s cancelled.” She gestured to her fellow females. “And we’re here to register how much we disagree.”

Frost rolled her eyes, made an annoyed harrumph then.

Logan shot Kitty that grin which said, Yeah, I know: I’m the Man.

“While it is absolutely none of your business which one of your classes continue,” the blond telepath began, her voice martyred, “I am happy to explain the thinking behind this particular cancellation. It’s been a long time coming, as no doubt Professor Logan can attest.” She let out a long breath, her voice becoming ever more censorious and strict. Her expression getting ever more arch. Wolverine was still grinning at Jubes and Kitty, like he hadn’t a care on the world, and it wasn’t helping Frosty’s Zen at all. “Professor Logan’s class has been cancelled for one simple reason: it had ceased to be co-ed. He’s been teaching nothing but young women for the last year now, as this little student jamboree makes clear. It has to stop.” Frost glared at her students, daring them to contradict her. Though if she was looking to intimidate them, she’d picked the wrong bunch. “Now, we here at Xavier’s take our integrationist mandate very seriously, as you no doubt know. We cannot accept a non-mixed class in any subject, not even so the female population of Xavier’s Institute can ogle the PE teacher.” A twitch of a smile. “Understandable as that may be.”

“Aw, I didn’t know ya cared, Frosty,” Logan dead-panned.

“I’m more into the fearless leader types myself,” she muttered, shooting Scott a dazzling smile. (She didn’t notice right away, but Jubes had just used one of her paffs to set her over-priced hair-extensions on fire. Kitty did the reasonable thing and pretended not to see). “But I am a woman and they soon will be: It’s perfectly understandable.” Her expression turned haughty. “It’s just not a legitimate reason for a class.”

“So let me get this straight,” Hisako Ichiki interrupted, crossing her arms over her chest. “If the class integrates then it stays on?”

Frost’s smile was the dictionary definition of condescending. “Of course, darling. It’s only about fairness, after all.”

“And it only takes one guy to make that happen? Only one has to grow a pair and audition to get in?” Hisako was grinning at Logan now. As was Ashida. And Gwynne. And, well, everyone. The effect was a little creepy. Although Kitty had to admit, this truly proved Logan was The Man…

“Why yes,” Frost answered, her voice losing some of its certainty. Hisako had turned on her psychic armour, and Madame Head-Mistress had trouble hearing her thoughts through that. She looked like she suspected she was being set up. Kitty didn’t blame her. “But every year several young men make a lot of macho noise about auditioning, and every year-”

“Several cry-babies go running home to mommy after the trials,” Jubilee spoke over her. “Believe me, Frosty, we know.” She shot Logan a fond smile. “How do you think the class ended up all female in the first place? Last hombre had the cajones t’audition was Colossus, and we all saw how that turned out.” All eyes turned to Kitty again and she blushed scarlet: It wasn’t her fault Logan had used the try-outs to test out Pyotr’s suitability to be her boyfriend. Wolvie’d all but sent her poor Russkie honey looking for a golden fleece… Or the One Ring to Rule Them All… “But it turns out we have a likely candidate already,” Jubes continued.

Frost cocked an eyebrow. “Oh? And just who might that be?”

The fire-cracker’s smile turned practically wicked. “Oh, you know, just the new stray Marie brought home with her from New Orleans. The new boy-what’s his name-Remy LeBeau?”

Kitty could’ve gotten stoned on the oestrogen fumes then. The concept of a Logan on Gambit throw-down was just too, well, bootylicious for the girls to resist. They’d be able to sell tickets, make a fortune in DVD sales: Even the senior (female) X-Men would pay to witness that. The concept had everything you could wish for in an entertainment event: the only way this would be better were if they could somehow add jell-o. And give Jubes enough time and encouragement, chica would doubtless find a way to do that…

But suddenly Logan had stopped grinning. He even looked a little-jeez- freaked.

“Nuh-uh, I ain’t goin’ there, Jubes,” he muttered, looking down now. Kitty swore she could taste the drop in testosterone this caused. “T’aint like I don’t appreciate you girls comin’ here, but-”

“But what?” Kitty inquired, intrigued now. She looked over at Jubilee, who was rocking on her heels in barely suppressed mirth. The Fire-cracker probably already knew what this was about, what with that Hell-cat mind-meld thing they had going on. “What is it, sensei? What‘s wrong with the concept?” And she looked at him in genuine confusion. The girls around him following suit.

Logan muttered something unintelligible into his boots then. “What was that, Wolvster?” Jubes asked innocently. Her lashes batting fit to beat Little Bo Peep.

He shot her a glare that would have curdled yoghurt, let alone milk. Crossed his massive arms over his chest. “Rogue’ll kill me, anything happens to that boy,” he muttered.

“And you’re actually afraid of Rogue?” Frost inquired, her voice sweetness itself.

“Hell yeah, wouldn’t you be?” He tried to cover it in swagger, but the… terror seemed genuine enough. “I don’t mess with my girls’ boys. That’s the way of it.” He shot Scott a look. “It’s the reason Scooter there’s still walking on three legs-”

“And Pyotr?” Kitty inquired huffily.

“He knows I know things about hiding bodies in Siberia. I’m pretty sure you’re not gonna have any problems with him.” Logan looked like he was gonna tussle Kitty’s hair and thought better of it. Instead he cleared his throat. “You an’ Jubes’d just use your powers on me. It’d be painful but Hell, I’d heal. I don’t wanna know what Marie’d think was appropriate: Girl got her knack fer vengeance from me. And her knack fer holding a grudge too.”

Of course, Kitty thought then, Marie’s got his memories. And his personality. I wouldn’t want her mad at me either, that being the case.

“So where does that leave us, training-wise?” Ashida asked, sounding disappointed. “Does this mean we don’t have a class?”

Frost went to answer but Jubes spoke over her. “Just give me, like, five seconds,” she muttered, pulling out her cell-phone. “I think I have a friend who can help.” And she disappeared into the next room for a second, Scott shooting her a goofy grin as she went. The look Frost threw him would have been enough to kill brain-cells on sight. “Okay, I gotta friend needs some extra tuition,” Jubes announced when she came back in. “If he joins the class can it go ahead?”

Emma narrowed her eyes. “And who would this friend be, Jubilation?”

She shrugged nonchalantly. “Name’s Parker, a New York boy. Been fighting the good fight for a while.” She blinked unconvincingly innocent eyes up at Frosty. “Says he needs an extra workout. So we cool?”

“And he’s high school age?” Emma’s voice sounded cynical.

“Yeah, totally.” Jubes handed her phone to Ashida and gestured for her to pass it around. She wanted to girls to see the photo on the front. Frosty took one look at the Parker boy and started snickering. Kitty raised her eyebrows questioningly as she watched Logan’s expression grow more sour. “What?” she asked, again genuinely puzzled.

Emma’s smile grew even wider than Logan’s had been. “I don’t think, with that boy in the class, we’ll have any difficulty getting more males in the mix.” She gestured to Scott, who was glaring at the photo in annoyance. “Even Scott there’s thinking of dropping by.” Kitty stared down at the photo of Parker, eyes widening.

And then decided she really, really, REALLY loved her life.

****************************************

By the time Advanced Combat started up again, there were twelve boys enrolled. And several waiting for a spot. The weird thing? Every one of them had a girlfriend in the class. And even Gambit had volunteered. Like Kitty said, weird huh?

But Logan was still The Man...