Disclaimer: This fan fiction is not written for profit and no infringement of copyright is intended. Unbetaed so all mistakes are mine.

“Wolvie…”

Jubes raised her hands placatingly and stepped in front of Scott. Let a couple of her paffs dance through the air just as a reminder of what she could do. It was probably the safest tactic, considering the way Logan was glaring at him. At her. At them. The entire canteen had fallen silent, the atmosphere like something out of a spaghetti western. Some kids hiding behind tables to watch the show. Some kids skid-addling like there was no tomorrow. And some recording the damn thing on their camera phones for posterity. Even Kurt and Storm had stopped their yakking, and considering they’d been doing that ever since their wedding was announced, it was a goddamn miracle.

Jubes wondered briefly whether she should congratulate them but the tumbleweed blowing through the room behind her made her suspect that was unwise.

As was taking her eyes offa Logan right about now.

Marie, ever the peace-maker, stood up and made to tug at Wolverine’s sleeve but Kitty stopped her. Grinned at her friend and gestured to Scott and Jubilee like this was Wrestle-mania and they were the main event. “Seriously, Rogue,” Pryde muttered, “How is this not gonna be entertaining?”

Logan and Jubes shot her a sour glare at exactly the same moment and in exactly the same way. Which just made the Kitten grin more and Scott wince. Marie rolled her eyes. Loudly.

“Like I said,” Kitty muttered, “I’m laughing already.” And she put her feet up on the desk to watch the show.

“So let me get this straight,” Logan began then, ignoring the littlest ninja. “You, Scooter, the great and moral stick-up-your-ass Leader of the X-Men, have been running around with a twenty something kid for the last six months and you hadn’t the balls t’tell me. That about cover it, bub?”

Scott’s jaw clenched, but he didn’t deny it. He knew Wolvie way too well to try an’ talk around this. And plus, any denial and Jubes would kill him. He was (sensibly) way more scared of her little fire-cracker self than any angry Canuck. “Yes,” he answered stiffly instead. “Yes, I guess that does about cover it.”

Logan decked him then.

One lightning quick flick-punch to the nose, hard enough to shatter cartilage. To be fair to Scott, he didn’t duck or wince, just took the blow. And Jubes didn’t interfere. She figured a punch was par for the course. He really uglied up her honey on the other hand, and Logie Bear’d be paffinated. Heads flicked back and forth between them, like the crowd was watching a tennis match. Everyone waiting to see what Scott would do. Logan cracked the muscle in his neck loudly, causing Rogue to sigh in annoyance and Logan to wince guiltily when he heard her. But then Rogue was the only person who could guilt-trip the drama queen outta him, Jubes groused, and everyone knew it.

Scott still didn’t retaliate. Patience can be so hot, Jubes thought then.

Logan was looking pleased with himself. “How d’ya like them apples, bub?” he drawled lazily. “Gonna just stand there?” His fingers were itching like he was waiting for a fight, but he wasn’t willing to go feral. Which was actually a good sign. Scott drew himself up to his full height, about a foot taller than Wolvie and turned the other cheek like a martyr. So maybe Wolvie wasn’t the only one with drama queen tendencies… “I promised her I wouldn’t hit you, Logan,” he muttered. “Take another shot if you want to-”

And he did.

Threw another punch, a dirty rabbit jab to the back of Scott’s head. Again Rogue rolled her eyes, only this time Jubes joined her. Scott felt the back of his head gingerly but still didn’t fight back. Though he couldn’t help the infuriating grin on his face, a grin that seemed to say That the best you got? Logan geared it up a notch, throwing a hard upper-cut, and this time he knocked Scott off his feet. Cyclopes skidded backwards before catching his balance, annoyance flitting across his face. Smugness flitting across Logan’s.

Sheer, epic piss-offedness flitting across Jubilee’s.

“Okay, Wolveroonie, that’s it!” Both men blinked and Jubilee forced herself between them. Since they were both dead set on being acting Hannah Montana over this then she was just gonna have to lay down the law. “Back off, bub,” she growled, poking a finger into her mentor’s chest at each word and daring him t’interrupt her. “Take your hands off my man.”

The collective crowd “Ooohed,” at her moxie. Marie moved anything throwable out of her reach. Kitty snickered loudly.

And Logan shut his mouth with an audible snap.

“Numero uno,” Jubes began, “This has nothing t’do with you.” Logan opened his mouth to contradict her and she rushed on, earning another “oooh,” for her efforts. Also another grin from the Kitten. “Me an’ Scott are about me an’ Scott, not you an’ me. Or you an’ Scott. You raised me to make my own decisions and guess what? I have, so deal.” Again he tried to interrupt her and again she spoke over him. She was pretty sure he regretted all the girl-power speeches he’d given her right now. “Hate t’break it to ya, but this ain’t about your pride, it ain’t about your property rights and it sure as hell ain’t about your history with Jean. Capisce? It’s about me and the man I love-” The canteen crowd “Aaaawed,” while Scott went scarlet- “And you are just gonna have to get your Wolvie ass down with that. Like, Now.” And she bounced back on her heels, daring him to contradict her. Because if he thought she was letting him play the brooding and wind-swept card on this, he was sadly goddamn mistaken. He crossed his massive fore-arms and set his face to power-glower; She did likewise, and let the silence stretch out. Neither was gonna back down, and everyone knew it: it was just a question of who would crack first.

And apparently it was her.

Jubes had never been good at keeping her mouth shut, and today was no exception. All it took was Logan flicking a look at Marie for sympathy and she just had to jump in again. “I thought you’d be happy I found someone, Logan,” she muttered angrily. Silence and stogie-related chewing greeted her. And more glowering. “Maybe not someone I ever thought about-” Which was a lie, she’d been thinking X-rated things about Scott Summers since the moment she hit puberty- “But someone good nonetheless-”

Logan actually snarled at that. “Good? Good??” He threw a disbelieving look at Cyclopes. “The name Emma Frost mean anything t’you Kid? Cos it sure as Hell meant something t’Scooter here-”

“That was a long time ago,” Cyclops growled, “I’m not proud of it-”

“But you still did it,” Logan snarled back. “And now you try seducing some poor innocent kid-”

And that’s when the laughing started.

It wasn’t smart, it wasn’t adult but it was out of her mouth before Jubes could help it. And it shut Logan up, something only Marie had previously ever managed to do without resorting to her powers. The idea that Logan had ever thought Jubes sweet and innocent was hilarious: She used to skive condoms off him! She used to steal his bike and go scouting for boys in bars! With him! Kitty might be sweet and Marie was probably innocent, but she was the bad seed of Logan’s Angels and everyone knew it. Even Logan. When he was drinking he called her a chip off the old block. And then bought her more bourbon. Scott adored her bad girl thing; She adored her bad-ass tendencies herself. It wasn’t a secret. So how on Earth could Logan justify his behaviour now? Why the Hell start acting like some Victorian paterfamilias when he knew exactly what kind of a cub he’d raised?

And then it hit her.

The Victorian gentleman in Logan had only one thing to defend in all this: Her virtue. It wasn’t about his ego, it wasn’t about Jean or his history with Scott. It really was about her. The giant hairy hundred year old super-soldier killing machine with the worse track record in relationships in the mansion was trying to protect her virtue.

Huh, she mused. Go figure.

She met Logan’s gaze and in that moment she knew she was right. His eyes instinctively flicked away, back to Marie (who was still shaking her head at their behaviour) and his mouth tugged slightly at the corner. Jubes’ followed suit. A beat of silence descended and then-Then they were both laughing their asses off. Making Marie smile and Kitty snicker, and Scott just look embarrassed as Hell. Peals of laughter echoed through the canteen, the sound completely weird next to the shocked faces of the other students. But it didn’t stop them none. There was a reason her and Logan never argued and it was simple: they were too damn alike. Today just proved it. Scott was essentially shacking up with the female version of Wolverine, and if he hadn’t figured that out yet then he soon would. The thought made Jubilee howl even harder, giggling so much she nearly peed her pants. The only people who weren’t surprised were Logan’s other angels, Rogue and Kitty: They were grinning ear to ear. And keeping a careful eye on Papa Wolverine just in case this was all a cunning ruse to gut Scott. But Logan and Jubes just laughed some more.

“Oh yeah,” Jubes eventually snickered, “I’m as pure as the driven snow.”

“Me too,” Logan retorted, and then started howling some more.

Kitty waited a beat and then stood up, offering the nonplussed Scott her hand. He was staring at Jubes like he’d never seen her before, and it was making the laughter worse.

“What am I missing here?” he muttered to Kitty, even as he shook her hand. “What just happened?”

Marie and Pryde snickered. “Don’t think about them too much, darlin’,” Rogue quipped. “It’ll make your head hurt.”

Scott blinked up at her. “But what does this mean?” he demanded. She was really gonna have to knock that black-and-white mentality outta him if they were gonna get along, Jubes mused. “I thought- I mean- They’re laughing-” He sounded scandalised.

Which just made Jubilee and her Wolvie laugh even more.

The girls exchanged looks and then shook their heads. Kitty took one of Scott’s arms and Marie took the other, Logan’s angels working together as always. Without a backward glance they manoeuvred Scott around the laughing reprobates and began leading him towards the Infirmary, probably to have his nose checked. And also to report to Hank on the outcome of the day. Wolvie gave a little wave as they went, still doubled over with laughter, and Marie rolled her eyes again. Though she couldn’t help the fond grin she shot him as she did so. The last words Scott heard before he was whisked through the doors were Logan’s.

“Welcome t’the family, Slim!” he called.

They were still laughing when he moved into Jubes’ room that night.