The scent of her salty tears permeated through the door. Logan stood there for a full two minutes, trying to will himself to walk away, knowing that her tears were because of him...Again.
~ "How do ya think Ah felt when the only man Ah had evah loved walked out on meh, only t' find out a few weeks latah that Ah was pregnant with his child?" ~ He didn't let a single emotion show. It was just too hard. If she really knew the anguish that he went through every day to stay away... if only she knew how many god damn times he had picked up the receiver in a phone booth and dialed the mansions number. He had spent every night alone. Just as alone as she had been. She was in his thoughts every minute of every damn day. Even when he wanted to get his rocks off, he could barely perform. All he ever saw before his eyes was her. In his dreams she haunted him. No longer was he thrashing around in his sheets because of the terrors of being submerged in a liquid, hundreds of lengthy needles digging into flesh, the pain, the agony of it all no longer compared to the yearning he had for the love of his life. Night after night she would slip into his dreams. The softness of her southern accent flowing over him like honey. The brightness in her eyes, every single cell shining with her love for him. Only for him to wake up to an empty bed. Stale sheets of the hotel room bed. Alone.
Over and over again he repeated this process until he was near madness. Every day he would drink himself into a stupor. Every night he would go to the bar, fight his hardest, win enough money to drink himself into another stupor the next day. He tried not to sleep. He tried not to dream of his lovely Marie smiling and laughing happily. He missed her too much. He loved her too much. But try as he might, he knew that it wasn't the right time to go back to her. Or at least that's what he thought.
Through the door he heard her sob. She was completely losing it. As much as his heart was breaking he couldn't bring himself to turn around, swing open the door and give her the comfort that she had been seeking for the last 4 years. His pride wouldn't allow it. His fucking pride never allowed it.
So Logan did the one thing that he knew that he could always do and get away with; he started walking in the opposite direction.
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His feet eventually brought him into the kitchen to get another beer. Yup. There he was again, using alcohol as a crutch to run away from his emotional pain. He really shouldn't be around anyone right now. It was very likely that the next person to say the wrong thing was going to get at least 3 new holes to breathe from. When the pop from the cap sounded, so did the sudden shrill cry of Draven from the other room.
Logan's adrenaline was instantly flowing through his veins. He dropped the beer on the counter, it knocked over and the amber liquid poured over the white marble. Eventually making its way to the edges and dripped onto the floor. The mess went unnoticed. In seconds he had run into the rec room with his claws unsheathed. Draven was on the floor, crying like there was no tomorrow. When his blurry eyes met with the adamantium claws from across the room, he instantly quieted, but the tears continued to pour down his innocent face. Logan's eyes scanned the room, The only occupant was Jubilee. Yellow outfit and all. Popping bubble gum and watching MTV. She seemed completely unaware of the sudden cries of the child.
"What in God's name are ya doin' Yellow? You gunna ignore him until he turns blue??" Jubes jumped up from the couch and looked at the sheer anger in his eyes.
"WOLVIE! I..I...I Didn't know you were here.. Rogue.. uhmm.. she doesn't mind if I watch him..." Her studdering was complimented by the instant shaking of her knees. It was surprising that Jubes was one of the few people who didn't know that Logan was back at the mansion. His anger and sudden materialization freaked her out. As if his rage didn't scare her enough. But this is the first time that she had ever been caught doing nothing to sooth his cub...
"Watch him cry himself to death? What is wrong with ya Kid?? If he's cryin' there's gotta be a reason fer it!" He sheathed his claws and crossed the room to the sobbing child. Without a second thought, he picked the child up and held him up in his left arm, holding the toddler close to him. The sobs quieted further and now the tears had gone from streams to the occasional raindrop. Logan bounced him up and down a few times and made a low manly cooing sound. His right hand gently scratched Draven's tummy, his voice surprisingly tender, "What's wrong little guy? Why are you crying?"
Draven's hands went to his eyes, rubbing them viciously. "I...I want my MOMMY!" The tears started to go into streams once more. Shit. That was the last thing he wanted to do, was go back upstairs to a distraught Marie. She needed a little more time to herself.
"Well, Mommy's in the shower right now. Ya wanna come with me to the kitchen? Wanna grab a snack?" Logan didn't even want to look at the shocked expression that he knew was on Yellow's face.
Draven looked at him with big green eyes as he sniffled. "Mmmokay." Logan gave a smile of relief and one of slight happiness. He may not know how to be a father... but damnit it was hard to resist the cuteness of his son. Without a word to a smirking Jubes, he exited the rec room and headed toward the kitchen, the kid's small hands cluthing his green flannel shirt.
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Okay. Time to play Daddy. This can't be too hard. Make sure the kid is clean, dressed, breathing, fed and getting sleep. The big bad Wolverine could handle this. Right?
"So... what kind of snack do you want?"
"Pizza!"
Logan opened the fridge and the freezer. No pizza in sight. Damn.
"No pizza."
"Lazaanya!"
His eyes did another swoop of the fridge. No lasagna. Shit.
"No Lasagna."
"COOKIES!"
Logan frowned. Marie might kill him if he gave the kid sugar right before dinner.
"No cookies."
"...No cookies?"
Well I'll be damned. The kid has the most adorable pout... I'm almost tempted to give him a cookie...
"What about fruit? You like fruit?"
Draven clapped his hands and swung his feet back and forth over the side of the counter next to the fridge. Logan looked to his left and raised his eyebrows and closed the doors. "I guess that's a yes."
The child nodded enthusiastically.
"What kind do you want?"
"Nannar."
"Nannar? What the hell is a...oh." He turned around to the fruit rack and grabbed a banana. A stride and a half and he had handed it to the child then went to the sink to dampen a washcloth to clean up his beer spill. He was halfway through cleaning up the counter when he noticed the child was just staring at the fruit in his hand. "Why aren't ya eating it?"
"It's not naked."
"WHAT?" Did he just say what I think he said?
"It needs to be naked." Draven looked up at him with a definite stubborn face. Like father like son.
Then it hit him. He didn't peel the damn thing. Duh. He quit soaking up the beer with the rag and wiped his hands on his jeans, walked over, took the banana and popped the top of it off, ripping the peel down its side. "There you go kid. Chow time."
"Thank you." 3 years old and he's already polite. Logan shook his head and laughed. This kid was a trip. No. He needed to refer to stop referring to Draven as 'this kid', he was my kid. Is my kid. Will always be my kid. Just as he was turning around again, "Wait!"
"Hmm?"
"Do ya want first bite?" Considering he was a meat, beer, meat, beer, and more meat and beer kind of a guy... he was going to decline the offer. But Draven was so enthusiastic about it. He was smiling like it was Christmas morning and he got just what he asked for from Santa.
"Sure kid." Logan bent down and grabbed a bite of the banana. Amazingly enough, Draven started to giggle. The littlest things amused him. With a mouth full of banana Logan thanked him.
"You're very welcome."
As he chewed, Logan couldn't stop smiling. In one day he had become a father. And he loved it thus far. It was amazing how easy it was to love a child. To love his child. Draven took a bite of the banana and swung his feet. The mess. Yeah. Gotta clean that up or Kitty might freak out. Fuckin' clean freaks. He wiped off the counter and went back to the sink. Wrung out the rag, rinsed it, and wrung it out again. Now for the floor. He bent down and got on his knees, wiping the side of the marble island off before getting the small puddle on the tile.
"Mr Logan?" Logan started to rise from the floor.
"Yeah kid?"
"Are you my Daddy?"
*THUD* Logan had jerked up at the question and hit the corner of the island with his head. Giving him an instant head ache. "MOTHER...TRUCKER! God In heaven! That hurt!" He straightened himself and his right hand instantly started rubbing the sore spot on his head which was now easing into a dull throb.
"Answer me." Draven crossed his arms in defiance, the empty banana peel still in his hand, now being squished to his chest.
"...ermm.. look kid..."
"Are you my Daddy?" His expression didn't change. Shit. He really was his father's son....
"Yes."
A few seconds of silence. So very awkward.
"Good."
Logan's eyes widened and he laughed.
"Why is that good?"
"...'cause I like you."
Logan snorted. He snorted with laughter. The big bad Wolverine SNORTED.
"I like ya too kiddo."
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Okay guys, I know it's been a while since I posted. but I have finals coming up. And then I will have plenty of time over the summer to crank out a lot of chapters for both this story and my other one.
~ = Memory.
Enjoy!
~ = Memory.
Enjoy!
Chapter End Notes:
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