Logan pulled into the garage right as the sun was coming up. For the last 3 hours he had mentally hated himself for fucking that woman in the alley. All he wanted was to be with his Marie. Sex with other women just wasn't satisfying anymore.He had been through scores of women. So many women in the last 20 or so years that he had lost count after 300. A few of them he had feelings for, but they had all been women that he respected and those feelings never came close to being the big 'L' word. His inner animal yearned to dominate his mate; to make her really his. Even if he had a conscience and questioned whether or not Marie was his one and only, the Wolverine howled inside of him that it was nothing short of truth.
She needed time. Time to heal from the emotional break up with Bobby. It was too soon for him to intercept. He should take things slow... or at least slow by his standards. 24 hours was enough time, right? The plan he came up with was to go upstairs, take a shower, put on his 'I-don't-give-a-fuck-about-how-I-look-but-I-look-damn-good-wearing-it' clothes, make his way to her room to wake her up, and take her to a cheer-up breakfast. He'd tell her how despite the fact that she was still heartbroken over Bobby, he'd always be there for her for ANYTHING. Maybe if he could get through all of that he'd tell her how he feels about her and say that he would wait until she was ready for them to be together.
He started making a mental list of things that he had to do that morning. He turned off his motorcycle and headed upstairs. Yet again Logan did not notice that Rogue's big beautiful truck was gone.
___________________________________________________________________________
It took him a half hour to shower, shave, get dressed, throw on boots, and gather up the courage to make it to her door. When he knocked, silence answered. He knocked again, thinking she was sleeping because it was so early in the morning. His nose kicked in and her scent was faint. Logan turned the knob and his eyes feasted upon her bed. It was empty.
A sudden feeling of panic seized his heart. No. She couldn't be gone. It was much like the feeling that someone gets when they visit someone in the hospital only to find that the hospital bed is freshly made and they have passed on. His stomach dropped into the depths of his abdomen as he walked into Rogue's room. The majority of her belongings were still in place. But as his eyes roamed from her empty bed to her dresser it was obvious that several things were missing. Her jewelry boxes, a few pictures of her friends at the mansion were gone from the mirror, a couple of her nick-knacks off of her bookshelf and all of her precious scarves that hung from the left post at the foot of her bed were nowhere to be seen. The closet door was cracked a few inches. Logan walked over to it and thrusted the door to the right, exposing the fact that many of her favorite shirts were gone. He quickly turned to his right and opened the second drawer of her dresser where her pants normally resided. Nothing but wood showed before his eyes.
"No." He shook his head and closed his eyes before he shifted his attention back to her nightstand. The picture frame he had given her a few years ago was on the wall behind it, but the picture that it held was gone. A white folded piece of paper was in its place. Slowly he walked over to it, picking it up in his hands like it was a newborn infant. With all the care in the world, he ran his calloused hands over the edges of the frame, reminding himself of the afternoon he had picked it up from a grocery store the morning after he returned the third time looking for answers to his past and after doing a job for Chuckie.
"That'll be $17.47, Sir." the zit-faced teenager working the register looked at the few items that Logan was purchasing with morbid curiosity. A blatantly girly photo album, a 40 oz of Budweiser, and a light green yarn scarf on clearance did not seem to be the normal purchases of anyone in the small convenience store outside of New York, let alone for such a gnarly-looking fellow in the middle of spring. Logan handed him a $20 and was even tempted to growl at the youth for giving him the odd looks that he did. But instead he said nothing except that he muttered 'You too, Bub." when the youngster said for him to 'have a good day'. When he brought the frame and the scarf home, he couldn't wait to give them to the kid. She had jumped into his arms the moment he walked through the door, but he had waited until everyone had gone to bed to give her the gifts.
"Oh Logan, the picture frame is perfect for that one snapshot Kurt got of us in the black bird on my first mission!" He had nodded and gave her a gentle hug. Well, as gentle as the Wolverine could possibly be, before he let go and settled himself on to the one side of the bed she reserved for him to sleep when she had troubles with nightmares. She looked over at him, her emerald eyes sparkling with gratitude. "Ah'll treasure it always."
"It's really not that big of a deal kid. I saw it. Thought you'd like it. So I bought it. It ain't like it's the Dead Sea Scrolls or nothing." She laughed and threw a pillow at him for being such a smartass.
Now the picture frame that held so many warm memories felt cold and heavy in his fingers. Logan slowly sat down onto her bed, the mattress made a depression under his weight, and he slowly turned the frail gift in his hands to the back. Slowly his thumbs pressed the prongs away and popped the backing of the frame out, removing the folded piece of paper that resided within it. Without thinking about it he put the frame beside him on the bed and just held the note in his hands. It was the one thing in the room that reeked of Marie's scent. The picture frame must have preserved her scent. It smelled like she was in the room with him. With that thought he closed his eyes and considered not reading it, but his fingers wanted otherwise as they unfolded the piece of paper. His eyes were eager, but his heart wasn't ready for what was in the note.
'Logan, I wanted to thank you for everything that you have done for me. The things you taught me will stay with me every single day, for the rest of my life. I'm sorry to say that although we tried very hard, it's just not going to be enough. I no longer belong in the mutant world. You will forever be in my heart. -Marie'
Suddenly, his stomach felt like it too was full of adamantium and it had sunk into his feet. She wasn't gone. She didn't leave. This was all just a practical joke and he was going to go downstairs and see her eating breakfast and give her a hard time... it had to be a joke. His heart began to pound, but for once it wasn't out of anger, but out of sorrow and panic. "What has that girl gotten herself into? What if she gets in an accident and dies and I ain't there to make sure she's alright. To hold her hand and tell her everythin is gunna be okay?" His thoughts continued down that path until he was just about to lose his composure and have a mental breakdown.
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw something that was reflecting light. Something bright that just refused to be ignored. Quickly he assessed where the light was coming from and he noticed that her bed-side table drawer was partially open and the morning light was shining within it. He opened it up all the way to find his tags sitting in a small pile on top of some old school notebooks. Reality hit. She really was gone.
He picked up the tags and held them tightly in his left hand. Logan understood that she wanted a life beyond these walls someday, that she wanted more than the school could eventually give her and ever since she took the cure it had become even more apparent. He had just never figured that she would be willing to live that kind of a life... without him.
For the first time in 20+ years Logan Let himself give into greif. The Wolverine within him howled at his loss, but the man behind the animal was broken. He had a purpose in his life the last several years. Marie had given him something to really live for. Now she was gone and he had nothing left here that he truly cared about. He laid against her pillows to soak in her scent, the wonderful smell of Marie. While clutching the small metal tags to his chest, the big bad Wolverine allowed tears to slide down his cheeks. Memories of the first time they had met, or how she greeted him when he had returned from lengthy trips, or the times he had taken her out to dinner and a movie when she was dating Bobby, the time when she yelled at him in front of his entire class of how much a 'controlling asshole' he was because he made her do an extra lap around the institute, and when she had come to him one night on advice on how to get around her mutation in order to become intimate with someone... This mental torture continued until his soul was once more accustomed in the ways of heartbreak; all the while the tears never stopped.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Sorry guys. Busy Summer has been busy! New chapter, and possibly the next one up by this week as well!
Going to Logan's POV, when he FINALLY realizes Marie is gone.
Happy Reading!
Going to Logan's POV, when he FINALLY realizes Marie is gone.
Happy Reading!
Chapter End Notes:
Comments? GIMME GIMME GIMME. :)