Stupid, no good bastard! I bet he's having a blast right about now, literally and right between that blonde chick's thighs.
I kicked the front tire of my rusted, broken-down jeep in anger before sinking down alongside it. I was hot, tired and in need of a nice long soak in a bath of frigid ice-water to cool my raging emotions and sweaty self. The sweltering waves of heat were absolutely unbearable.
Propped up against the shaded side of my jeep--affectionately (and quite wrongly, might I add) dubbed Old Faithful--my sun-browned legs stretched out on the scorched asphalt before me, I sighed wearily and hung my head. Old Faithful, yeah, uh huh, Old Faithful, my ass!
Fanning myself with a crumpled paper-fan, I yanked off my sweat-soaked t-shirt and threw it down onto the road beside me. God, what a disaster. Stupid, good for nothing jeep! Stupid, good for nothing men! What do I need a man for anyhow? All they do is bitch and complain. "I can't see the TV, ohh...errr...pass the pretzels! Grab me a beer while you're at it, will ya?!" Humph.
It's just as well. Not likely I'll ever see a man again what with the flow of traffic coming this way. Nope, no chance in hell. And even if a man were to come by, well, hell, I should just send him right on his way. That's right! Keep going, bub!
Smiling now, I picked up my discarded tee and tossed it further down the road: "I said get!" I laughed, imagining the shocked looks on their faces. "Ha!" Of course, if someone really were to come by, I probably wouldn't do that to them, seeing as how they were nice enough to stop and all. But it made me feel better, made me feel like, for once, I was in control. For once, my life would work out the way I'd hoped it would.
Picking at the frayed hem of my shorts, I frowned. Sometimes, fate deals you a hand you didn't ask for; either you sit and mope about it or you pick up and move on with your life and that's all there is to it.
Sighing wearily, I clambered to my feet, my stiff, aching muscles sore and groaning in protest at the sudden exertion.
I opened the back door of my jeep and crawled inside, stretching myself out along the length of the back seat.
Toeing off my runners, I snatched Logan's cowboy hat off the floor and placed it over my face to block out the sun's blinding rays, and with a small smile at the hat's familiar smell, I closed my eyes and let myself drift off into a peaceful, dream-filled oblivion.
***
Startled awake only minutes later (or at least that's what it felt like) by the slam of a car door, I felt my heart seize in fear. Had I locked the car door? A cool breeze blowing gently against my bare toes had me cringing.
Whenever I'd pictured my death, I'd always figured I'd go down in battle somewhere in Uzbekistan or Brazil--the cunning intelligence spy or a war hero fighting for mutant freedom! Or maybe even choking on a delicious, delicious spaghetti dinner in a restaurant with an excellent view of The Leaning Tower of Pisa in Italy, a meatball lodged in my throat as the waiter takes his time brining me a re-fill of my wine. Either way, much more preferable to the serial killing about to occur on this long stretch of deserted road, not another soul for hundreds of miles.
"What the hell did you think you were doin' takin' off like that, kid?"
Sitting up, Logan's hat sliding slowly down my face and onto the floor, I came nose-to-nose with an angry wolverine leaning down over me. A very, very angry wolverine whose gaze had turned suddenly heated for other reasons as his hazel eyes raked slowly down my half-naked body.
"Uh...what?" I mumbled, feeling my face flush red-hot under the heat of his stare.
Grabbing my hands in his, Logan pulled me out of the jeep and onto my feet. The sun had sunk low in the orange sky, and was edging closer to the horizon line--boy was I off with the whole timing thing.
Snatching his fallen cowboy hat and jamming it on his head, Logan growled angrily, "I come outta the goddamned motel and the car's gone! You're fuckin' gone, goddamnit!"
Feeling indignant and matching him glare for glare I pulled my hands free of his and crossed my arms over my chest--partly to hide the god-awful pink and white polka-dot bra I was wearing, but mainly to show him I meant business. "Yeah well, I got tired of waiting for you to finish fucking every damn girl who threw herself at you."
"What do you want me to do? Not have sex anymore? Shit, kid, what the fuck's that got to do with anything? I have a healthy sex-drive!" Logan argued in his defense.
"So, what'd you come after me for?" I snapped back. "Go find someone else to fuck!" Feeling the sharp sting of tears welling in my eyes, I turned away. Oh god, 'do NOT cry, Marie', I chastised myself. 'Do NOT!'
Logan's curled fists unfurled and hung limply by his sides. "I don't know what I did to make you so mad at me, kid."
Deciding to bite the bullet once and for all, I schooled my features and turned to face him, one hundred percent ready to give it to him straight...and then all rational thought flew right out of my mind.
Hazel eyes, narrowed against the fading sunlight, regarded me steadily as we stood there, barely a foot of empty space between us.
The heat of the noonday sun seemed to have returned full force, turning my throat dry and making my skin burn and crave relief as my eyes trailed down the smooth brown column of Logan's throat. His sweaty tank clung wetly to the warm, sun-bronzed skin of his thick, muscular chest. Worn, faded blue jeans hugged his slim hips, and hung low beneath the weight of one large hand resting over the enormous belt buckle above his crotch.
A low mumur of pleasure escaped my lips. Dear god, he looked good. Baby names and very graphic thoughts of making those babies flitted deliciously through my mind.
"Marie?"
My head snapped to attention as I was startled from my reverie, my cheeks flushing a deep scarlet as I met Logan's amused gaze. "Why did you ask me to go with you?" I needed to know. If he didn't love me, if he didn't want to be with me, then I could learn to accept it and stop living in my little fantasy world and move on, once and for all.
Caught off-guard, Logan hesitated, seeming genuinely confused, "Whadda ya mean?"
"It's a simple question, Logan: why did you ask me to go with you when you left the mansion?" I repeated.
Raising one eyebrow as if to say where are you going with this?, Logan shot me a funny look, answering slowly: "'Cause we're friends."
"Yeah, and? You didn't ask 'Ro or Kurt or, hell, even Jean to go with you." I pointed out, my voice shaking slightly with pent-up emotion.
"They don't mean shit all to me, kid, and you know it!" Logan yelled, his voice rising to match mine.
"Then why was I sitting around by myself every night while you got your rocks off?!" I snarled, wanting desperately to hold onto the anger pulsing hotly through my veins even as I willed the hurt away.
At a loss for words, Logan simply stared at me. I stared back. Frissons of tension filled the air between us as we stood there, facing each other in silence.
Clenching his jaw, Logan fished a set of keys out of his jeans' pocket and jerked a thumb at the little blue rent-a-car parked on the opposite side of the road. "Get in. I'll take you back to the mansion."
I couldn't believe him. That was his solution to this fucking dilemma of ours? Was he kidding me? "Did I say I wanted to go back to the mansion, Logan? 'Cause as I look at it, we're not done here and I'll be damned if I'm gonna let you pretend like there's nothing between us. You wouldn't have come after me if I didn't mean anything to you and--"
"I came after you because you stole the fuckin' car."
"Why won't you just be straight with me?" I countered, renewed frustration surfacing.
"God damnit!" Logan snapped. An anguish I'd never noticed before lingered deep within the depths of his whiskey-brown eyes and I shuddered, knowing that I'd been the cause. "What the fuck do you want from me, kid?" he growled, his voice hoarse from the shouting match.
Uncrossing my arms, I felt, suddenly, like a brat. "That's all I'll ever be to you, huh? You'll never see me as anything more than that half-starved kid you met back in Laughlin City." Lowering my eyes to the ground, I spotted my wrinkled t-shirt and bent to pick it up. Straightening, the purple atrocity twisting between my fingers, I met Logan's tired eyes again, waited for him to say something, anything. He didn't.
With a stiff nod, I turned back to my jeep, tears blurring my vision. "Just let me get my stuff."
Forcing down the growing lump in my throat, I climbed inside the jeep and began collecting my stuff together. I didn't know how things would be once we returned to the mansion. Would he just leave me there and take off like he had so many years ago, only this time never come back?
My temples throbbed painfully with my every movement and the dull, empty ache in my chest grew fierce as I realized that I might never see him again. I'd pushed him too far, misread his intentions, and now he was going to leave and never come back. Maybe he won't even say goodbye. He'll just go, in the middle of the night so I won't know about it, and he won't even look back, he'll just get in his car and--
"I didn't do anything with 'em."
The strong, steady hand gently caressing the length of my spine had my body shivering despite the evening's warmth.
Remembering the many women I'd seen going into Logan's motel room, I turned slightly to look into his eyes. "I don't understand, Logan. Why would you bring women back to your room if you weren't going to sleep with them?"
"I was going to," he answered after only a moment's hesitation, "but every time we got started, every time I bent over them--"
"Hey, I don't wanna hear the particulars." I protested, batting at the arm snaking around my waist.
Logan just chuckled, nuzzling his face in the crook of my neck as he explained, "Every time I bent over them, every time I started to do anything...I saw your face, Marie."
God, after all this time.... Grinning like a fool at the warm fuzzy feeling expanding within my chest and the gorgeous hairy man holding me close to him, I couldn't stop the question as it slipped from my lips: "Was there a hole in the wall or something?"
Tilting his head to look me in the eyes, Logan gave me that raised eyebrow I adore, divulging in all seriousness, "Yeah, right across from yer shower stall." Ha ha.
"Why didn't you tell me before?" I whispered happily, leaning back into the warm solid strength of his body. God, it felt good to be so close to him.
"Tell you what, darlin'?" Logan murmured absentmindedly, one hand combing gently through my hair now.
"That you love me."
Those rough calloused fingers, always so gentle with me, slid slowly from my hair and I felt my heart start to flutter nervously again as the warmth of his body left me.
Turning fully to face him, I closed the distance between us, wrapping my arms around him to hold him close to me. There was no way I was going to let us get so screwed up again. Cupping his jaw in my hand, I savoured the prickly feel of his beard as I caught and held his gaze with mine. "I love you, Logan. I always have."
Intense, passion-filled eyes stared back at me, deep into me, and I felt a shudder course through my body, warming me from the inside out. "I didn't want you to think I was a pedophile or some shit. I've wanted you for so long, baby."
"I'm not a little girl anymore."
Pulling away a little, Logan glanced down the underwear-clad length of my body, "I can see that, darlin'."
I smiled back, his smouldering gaze making my body burn and ache for him and I'm sure he could tell, if his widened, cocky smile was anything to go by. "Now then, how 'bout being a big boy and telling me what's in your heart, sugah."
"I swear, kid, you love putting me on the spot, eh?" The reddened tips of his ears and the rosy hue glowing beneath his golden brown skin made me smile, but I kept silent. Tracing the long, lean muscles of his back, I tightened my arms around Logan, snuggling deeper into his warmth as my fingers wandered slowly down the length of his spine to hook into the waistband of his jeans.
Logan sighed over-dramatically, but I could see the twinkle in his eye before he sobered: "I love you, Marie. I want you with me. Christ, it just about killed me when I came outside and saw the car gone, and then broke into your room and found you gone. Shit, I coulda sworn I was having a heart attack, even though, technically, I can't have one." He paused for a moment, mulling over his next words before whispering quietly: "Don't leave me ever again, darlin'. I don't think I could take it. "
Catching my full bottom lip between my teeth as I stared deep into Logan's eyes, the cheeky grin on my face belying the pain I felt at having caused him such agony, I whispered softly, "I won't, so long as you promise to stop doin' stupid shit, sugah."
Laughter rumbling deep in his chest, Logan cradled my cheek tenderly in one hand, his warm breath fanning out over my lips as he murmured, "I promise, darlin'..." before bending to capture my mouth in a passionate kiss that curled my toes and set me on fire.
***
So maybe things hadn't turned out the way I'd expected them to, but I couldn't be any happier than I was in that moment, speeding down that old abandoned Nevada road with my man by my side and heading homeward.
Switching into the exit lane, my eyes just barely caught the big green billboard as we sped past it: 'Now Leaving Las Vegas, Nevada,' it read. Maybe we'd be back some day, but not this time.
Glancing over at Logan as he gently squeezed my thigh, I found him staring back at me, a grin wider than any I'd ever seen plastered across his handsome face, and a feral glint in his golden eyes that turned my insides to jelly.
Hmm...was that a motel we just passed?
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