Chapter 4

Logan moved uncomfortably as he cleared his throat again. Not sure of what to do now. Marie had shifted backwards on the bed and was now staring at him, propped up against the head board of her bed. Her eyes seemed to be taking in everything about him and it unnerved him slightly.

“So what have you been doing if you can't sleep?” he asked her lightly, trying to break the silence that had settled upon them. He knew from the professor that she had taken to sitting in silence and Xavier had explained that it was probably due to the confusion in her mind, but Logan knew that her isolating herself from others was not a good thing – no matter what the reason was.

“Thinking,” she replied quietly, lifting a hand and tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, a small sheepish smile on her face as she broke her gaze from his face.

Thinking.

Logan knew all too well that thinking too much could have the total opposite effect of that desired. Hadn't he himself been stuck for hours on end in the infirmary doing nothing but that? His thoughts constantly spinning around the girl before him. And had he managed to make any sense out of his thoughts? No. He had only achieved some clarity when Marie had been sobbing in his arms. It was only then that he had admitted his feelings. He had also acknowledged that he could do nothing about them.

The wolverine grumbled at this again but he quickly put an end to it.

“You can think a bit too much kid,” he mumbled as much to her as to himself.

Logan was surprised when a soft humourless laugh came from her lips and he looked to see a sad smile on her lips and her eyes focusing on her twisting hands.

“So I've found out,” her voice was low and as sad as the smile she was wearing.

He wanted to put it right. Whatever was wrong, whatever was confusing her, whatever had ended up in her head from himself and Magneto, he wanted to fix it and make it better. He wanted to do anything just as long as he never had to see that look on her face ever again.

“Would you like to talk about it?” he asked her gently as he edged himself up the bed, getting closer to her.

Her wide eyes flew to his face and he could see the worry dancing within their depths and smell the guilt coming from her.

Raising his hand he softly stroked her hair trying to put her at ease and erase the feelings that were coming from her. He found himself wishing that he had put on a pair of gloves himself then he would be able to cup her face and stroke her skin without the risk of her mutation. But he had not, so he settled for stroking the hair from her face and hoping that it was having the effect that he wanted.

He watched her close her eyes slowly and lean more fully against the wall at her back.

“I...I don't know where to start Logan, what to say,” she breathed and he could tell that she was trying to gather her thoughts so he sat and waited, not rushing her, willing to wait the whole night out if he needed to.

“I...Whenever...I can't...” she tripped over her words before letting out a moan and opening her eyes to look at him.

Logan lowered his hand from her hair and trailed it down her arm until he once again held her hand firmly with his, enjoying the contact. He began stroking her hand gently, waiting again for her to begin speaking.

“When I go to sleep I cannot control what my mind decides to do. I...I dream about your life Logan and...and Erik's...Magneto's” the last few word came out on a slight sob and Logan moved himself till he was next to her on the bed his own back next to hers on the head board.

Flashing his mind back to when he had found her on the train he wrapped his arm about her frail shoulders and pulled her close to him her head coming to rest under his chin and one of her hands on his chest.

He listed to her heavy breathing as she tried to control herself and prevent herself from crying. His chest tightened as he listened to her trying to win the battle but felt a sense of gladness that she had told him of her nightmares without the need for him to say anything. She had trusted him enough to tell him herself.

“Magneto...he had to watch his family being taken away from him.” she swallowed convulsively, her fingers balling into a fist where her hand rested on his chest.

He didn't want to know about what she could dream about where he was concerned. He had not lived a very stable life and had seen a lot of violence in his life. And then there were his nightmares also that raged at him through the night. So powerful that they could hold him in their grip even when he was awake. This girl in his arms was proof of just how powerful they were. He did not want this young girl to suffer through them as he did.

“And you Logan... I'm so sorry,” she mumbled into his chest, her eyes closed tightly as she pushed herself closer to him.

Damn it.

Logan wrapped his arms about her even tighter at her words wishing that he has the power to rip his life from her mind. For all he knew he may well have deserved what he dreamt of but he knew for certain that his Marie did not and if her dreams were anything at all like his she would feel the pain, the fear and the anger – everything.

“No Marie. I'm sorry,” he told her, running his hands through her hair in another attempt to calm her down. It was ripping him apart to see her in such a state.

They sat for some time in silence and Logan listened as her heart beat began to slow down and her breathing calmed, her head still lying on his chest.

She surprised him by nuzzling closed into him and breathing deeply, a small smile on her face.

“What's so funny darlin'?” he asked, confused. After all it had not been too long ago that their conversation had been very serious.

She gave a small breathy laugh that for some reason caused his heart to speed up drastically.

“My Logan doesn't think you are such an idiot anymore.” she told him sleepily.

“Your Logan?” he knew that the slight amusement and pleasure that he felt at her funny statement was coming through in his voice, but he also knew that she was sleepy enough not to notice.

“Yip.” she replied her voice even foggier with sleep. “The you in my head.”

Marie knew that she was making him feel self conscious by her constant gaze but she did not know what to say and she was still trying to figure him out. The Logan in her head did not seem to be very impressed by the actions of his fleshly self and she didn't know why. In her eyes he had been just what she needed at that moment. She had needed someone to hold her and he had.

As soon as he had asked her to talk about it she had nearly lost the frail grip on her control. The Logan in her mind began to reassure her, telling her that it would be for the better if she just told him.

“Look Marie. You need to tell someone, you need to. It will make you feel better darln' trust me.”

So she told him as best she could about what happened when she went to sleep. Tripping over her words and knowing that she was making a mess of it.

When she had came to telling him about the dreams she had of him she had found herself unable to. Instead she had broken down mumbling her apologies for the way his life had been. It was when he had given her his own apology and his arms had closed about her even tighter that she knew that he was more than aware of what filled her dreams.

She felt secure and loved as she leaned against him her head resting on his chest and his arms about her and she began to calm down quickly.

The Logan in her head gave the impression if being smug.

“It's about time I did something right. I can be such a fool sometimes.”

She couldn't help but smile at Logan's opinion of himself. Her mind began to go fuzzy as she settled even deeper into Logan's grip.

I'll just close my eyes for a minute, but I won't go to sleep. Oh it's nice to be so close to someone. And he smells so good.

Logan's gruff voice drifted to her through her haze as she began to drift.

“What's so funny darlin'?”

Silly Logan.

Her mind continued to darken as she answered his question, not paying attention to her words.

“My Logan doesn't think you are such an idiot anymore,” she told him just wanting him to be quiet.

“I'm your Logan now am I.” he laughed in her head as a warmth surrounded her both inside and outside.

“Your Logan?” came the questioning voice of the real Logan - funnily it was getting further away from her, like he was talking to her across a vast distance.

“Yip. The you in my head.” she told him sleepily before her mind finally let go of his voice altogether and she let herself fall into oblivion, secure in his arms.