Chapter 3
Logan had sprinted up the steps of the mansion as quickly as he could after finishing his discussion with Xavier.
"Be there for her." That had been what the professor had said and he would be, for as long as she needed him.
As soon as he had stepped from the room he could hear Marie's sob's and smell her tears. They permeated his senses until all he could smell was the salt water of the tears.
He had followed her scent down the door lined corridor past the female dormitories where she had been that first night and he found himself at the door of one of the rooms not in the student wing but in the staff section of the mansion.
Logan had braced himself at the door. Not knowing what he would say or do when he saw her. He had tapped on the door and upon having no reply had let himself in to the room to see the object of his thoughts curled up into herself on the bed, clutching a pillow tightly to her stomach as sobs shook her body.
He had stood for only a second before the wolverine had demanded that he move forward and comfort what was his and take vengeance on whoever was responsible for her state.
Mine?
Not even trying to think about what that could mean he had moved rapidly to the bed and not even giving any thought to the girl's deadly skin he had taken her in his arms and now he was sitting rocking her gently in his arms and marvelling at just how small and fragile she felt in his grip.
Marie's sobs ceased long enough for her to look up, shifting slightly in his arms as her watery, brown eyes looked deep into his, mesmerizing him.
“Logan?” her voice came out strangled as he watched her trying to keep the tears at bay.
What can I say? What can I do?
“Hey kid, did you miss me?”
Idiot, idiot, idiot. You walk in on her crying her eyes out and that is all you have to say. Of course she hasn't missed you. She is probably wondering just what the hell you are doing here. She hardly even knows you. She'll throw you out into the hall. Pull yourself together Logan, you're a grown man, you do not lose it in the presence of a teenage girl. Get a grip.
Much to Logan's surprise and Wolverine's delight the young woman he was holding so tightly in his arms raised one small, gloved hand and traced his face with slender shaking fingers before her face crumpled and the tears came flooding from her eyes once again.
Not knowing what else to do Logan began to rock her again, softly mumbling reassuring gibberish to her in an effort to calm her down.
“I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry Logan.” Marie gasped in between heartbreaking sobs, her head buried in his chest and his chin resting on top of her head, his skin protected by her hair.
“Hey now darlin', what have you got to be sorry about?” he asked her gently. He honestly could not see what she had to apologise for.
“I...I nearly killed you...twice.” she forced out her breathing becoming raged as she dragged air into her lungs, her gloved hands now clutching at his shirt, tightly twisting the fabric between her fingers.
Logan thought about this as Marie started to calm down. Her sobs gradually giving way to whimpers and her grip slackening on his clothing.
He remembered the feeling of having his life sucked from him all too well but he hadn't really looked on it as her killing him, taking it as a matter of course that nothing could kill him, that his mutation would heal him no matter what. He had been grateful for both his and her mutation when he had been thinking in the infirmary.
Without either she would be dead.
Logan shivered inwardly as he remembered the feeling of his claws tearing through her chest, puncturing skin, pushing through muscle and bone and he could hear her scream of fright in his mind. Her eyes filled with pain as she tried to breathe properly. That night he was the one that had killed her. Yes if he was truthful with himself he had killed her that night. The only thing that had kept her alive had been her mutation taking his from his body. And he was thankful for it.
If she had died I would be seeing just how far my heeling abilities go.
Then on the Statue of Liberty it had been pure instinct and desperation that had caused him to look at her still, lifeless face and place his hand on her skin. Horror and loss had consumed him when he had not felt that same tug he had felt the previous night. He had held her much like he was holding her now. Rocking her body in his arms wishing all the while for her to be alive and responsive, more than willing to do anything that would bring her back to him. But then he had felt it and a sense of joy and contentment had surged through him as his mutation had flowed out of him and into her where his skin touched hers. And even as he fell to the metal ground and darkness had filled his mind he had exalted in the knowledge that he had helped her.
It had nothing to do with the bravery that Jean spoke of.
Logan's arms longed to pull her closer to him when he felt her draw away from his body, pushing against his chest with her small hands while she sat up, a sheepish smile on her face as she rubbed at her eyes, the fine material of her gloves soaking up the salty tears.
“Sorry.” she mumbled rubbing her hands on her jeans self-consciously and drawing in a wobbly breath as the tears threatened to fall once again.
Logan got a good look at her for the first time since he had entered the room. She had lost some weight over the past four days and that worried him. She had felt small and delicate when he had held her on the statue but now she was more so. The slight smudges that had been under her eyes when he had first met her not even a week ago had grown to dark shadows under red rimmed and tired eyes. Her face was pale and drawn from lack of sleep. She did not look well at all and every fibre of his being was wanting to see her well and happy.
He breathed in deeply trying to centre his thoughts and caught an unexpected scent, his hackles rising.
The scent of ice and snow.
That boy had been here. In this room. Recently. That boy whose head he would have happily taken from his shoulders on several occasions a few days ago had been in the same room as his Marie and judging by the staler scents in the room he had been alone.
How dare he. Marie was his.
She's just a kid. She's not mine.
The wolverine cried at him to stop being so stupid. Of course she was his. She would always be his. She had been his since he had first seen her in that run down bar in Laughlin City. The sooner he accepted that the better it would be.
For who? I'm a man with no past what do I have to offer her.
The wolverine growled and grumbled once again, thinking purely on instinct and refusing the logical reasoning.
I may have feelings for her but what exactly can I do about them hmm? I don't even know how old I am and she is what 16, 17? Besides think about what Xavier just told you Marie doesn't need me playing the cave man right now. She needs help and acceptance.
“You look tired kid.” he told her softly hoping that she would open up to him herself without him needing to tell her about Xavier's input.
She shrugged her shoulder slightly and averted her gaze from him, giving the impression of being guilty of something. He knew than that she did not want him to know.
“I haven't slept very well the last few days.” she told him slowly lifting her head and looking right passed his head at the door behind him.
Marie sat on the bed her legs folded beneath her trying her best to avoid Logan's steady unwavering gaze. It really was amazing how interesting a door could be when you looked at it really, really closely.
She felt her hands being gripped firmly and looked down at their hands; her small fingers were dwarfed by Logan's large strong digits.
He's going to get me to tell him why I can't sleep isn't he.
She didn't want to, it was her problem and she would deal with it. She had been enough trouble to the man before her without adding a fresh problem to the ever growing list. But it had been so nice to be hugged and whispered to as she cried. She hadn't been hugged or treated normally since David.
David? Funny I haven't thought of him in days or felt him.
She searched her mind and could only find Logan and Magneto watching her closely. David was now only a faint shadow, cowering in the presence of the stronger mutants.
‘That boy is almost as bad as Jack Frost.’ Scoffed the Logan in her head, making himself known for the first time since Bobby had left her.
‘And you are damn right kid. I am going to get out of you why you aren't sleeping. So don't even think of trying to get out of it easily Marie.’
Great not only did she have the Logan in front of her to cope with but she had the one in her head telling her what the one in front of her was going to do. Just peachy. As if life wasn't screwed up enough.
“Marie, have you slept at all since you came back?” Logan asked her gently.
That tone would be her undoing if she wasn't careful. She had only gotten a slight glimpse of this side of the Wolverine when she had been on the train until then it had been the gruff and silent side that she had gotten to know. To be truthful, unlike everyone else she didn't really mind his moodiness. At the end of the day it was what made him the person he was.
“Marie?”
There it was again. That tone.
She sighed as Logan squeezed her fingers gently, encouraging her to speak.
“A few hours.” she answered and it wasn't a lie, she had slept for a few hours that first night back.
“When Marie?”
The Logan in her mind sniggered at this.
‘I told you darlin', you're not getting out of this one.’
She kept her gaze fixed firmly on their hands as she thought about what to tell him.
“The truth kid.” Logan snarled in her head.
“Three days ago.” she mumbled.
She heard Logan breathe deeply again and he released her hands. She wanted to grab his hand back and feel the heat of his skin seeping through her gloves but she sat silent and still.
“You need to sleep Marie.” he stated.
She flicked her gaze up to him at this point the tears once again not too far from the surface.
I know I need to sleep.
“I can't sleep Logan.” she told him her voice thick with tears as she covered her face with her hands trying to block him out. Trying to hide her state from his observant gaze.
He doesn't understand. No one understands. I don't want to close my eyes and see someone else's life in my dreams. I can't do it.
In a matter of seconds she once again felt his arms close about her as he tried to calm her down, tears pouring down her face. She wanted to pull away aware of the risk he was at is he touched her, but she couldn't.
I'm pathetic; I shouldn't be crying all over him like this. I'm a mess.
The Logan in her mind began to hush her also and she could swear that she could feel his frustration at his own failing.
‘You aren't pathetic Marie. It's me that the idiot.'
Logan's voice brushed at her mind and she would have smiled at the weirdness of her situation if she wasn't so busy trying to get enough oxygen into her lungs past her sobbing.
“Shh shh. It's all right Marie.” the real Logan crooned stroking her hair and rocking her slowly.
“I'm so tired Logan.” she sobbed into his shirt.
“But I can't sleep, I don't want to.” she forced out, her mind still yelling at her to pull herself together but the reassurance of both the mental and physical Logan being too much for her to refuse.
“I'm just so tired.” she sighed as her sobbing stopped to leave only the silent tears falling down her cheeks.
“I know Marie, I know.” Logan continued to croon and she closed her eyes enjoying the closeness of another person and listening to his heart beating steadily where her head was against his chest.
This is so strange. I hardly even know him and I am here sobbing and blubbering like a baby. Sure way to scare them off Marie.
She pulled herself together for the second time, concentrating on her breathing as she blocked the tears from falling. Not wanting to but knowing that it was for the best she sat up and away from Logan. Immediately feeling alone until he reached out for her hand. She gripped his like a lifeline.
Ororo and Scott had been wonderful over the last few days but they had still refrained from touching her sitting close but not too close and far enough away for her to know that they were keeping a safe distance from her, even when her skin was covered.
Logan wasn't doing that. He had held her close and now he was rubbing her hands gently with his thumbs through her gloves. She felt like she was going to cry again. Even her mother hadn't done this, staying as far away as she could after David had ended up in the hospital.
“Thank you Logan.” she whispered, her voice still strained from crying but not so wobbly and she was glad of that, scared that her emotions would scare him away if she carried on much longer.
Marie saw the look of confusion that passed over his face and looked at their joined hands. When she looked back at him he was smiling. She returned the smile shyly not knowing what to say or do now that she had herself under control.
She almost giggled when she heard him clear his throat self consciously and the Logan in her head started calling himself every imaginative name he could think of. She was a bit confused about just why he was insulting himself; after all he had made her feel normal for the first time in months.
‘Cos I'm an idiot kid that's why.’ Logan mumbled sulkily in her mind.
Marie decided that she wasn't even going to try and figure out what that meant instead she scooted back on her bed until her back came to rest on the head board and she studied the man before her through tired eyes.
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