Chapter 2
Finally!
After four days of being stuck in the infirmary Jean had let him go without a fight, finally done with all her tests and prodding. True, he had been unconscious for two of the four days, but after he had woken up he had been more than well enough to leave and they had both known it. But instead of being able to do just that and see for himself that Marie was well, he had had to rely on second-hand reports from Jean when she came to check up on him and then the professor when he decided to come and “visit” him - making him feel like some little old lady being checked on by her relatives.
So he had been stuck with nothing but his thoughts to occupy him. He had lain for days doing nothing but over-analysing his feelings and memories from the past events. And instead of his feelings becoming clearer and his thoughts more orderly, as they should have, everything seemed to become more chaotic- his ability to focus his mind deteriorating rapidly. The only clear thing being that he had to see Marie.
He didn't know why, just that he had to.
So now he was finally in the elevator, heading towards the surface- to her- and getting farther away from the shining white, sterilized medical labs and its overly clean smell.
Soon he would be able to see for himself that she was alive and that she hadn't died in that machine on top of the statue.
‘Logan, come to my office please,’
The professor's calm voice intruded, cutting of his thoughts of the girl that he so desperately wanted to see- who he needed to see.
What now?
The mind-controlling mutant had had the past two days to speak to him and get whatever it was out of the way before he was allowed out of the infirmary, so why hadn't he done just that?
Why now? Why, when his one focus was Marie?
Logan's annoyance and irritation mounted as he stepped out of the elevator and into the wooden halls of Xavier's School for the Gifted. Here he was, only seconds away from seeing the girl who had consumed his thoughts for days and he had to take a detour, and who knew how long that would take.
His “office”? Logan snarled to himself as he followed his senses, picking up the scent of the wheelchair-bound mutant he rushed down the corridor, wanting to get the interview over with as quickly as possible.
Entering the room that he assumed was the “office,” he shut the door behind him and walked towards the professor who was sitting still and thoughtful behind a solid, wooden desk.
This had better be quick.
“Logan,” smiled the older man kindly. “I am glad to see you up and about.”
“I could have been up days ago, you know that,” he replied shortly, not in the mood to play word games with the man in front of him. This room was the last place that he wanted to be. He wanted to be in one of the rooms upstairs checking up on his girl.
The professor sighed heavily and ran his hands over his face, clearly trying to think his options through.
“I asked you here to speak about Rogue.”
Rogue? Rogue? Oh, Marie.
“What's wrong with her?” he asked, panicked. Had they lied to him the whole time that he was in the infirmary? Hadn't it worked? He wouldn't be responsible for his actions if they had lied to him.
The professor could read the emotions crossing his face without even needing to use his gift- the panic plain and clear in his eyes.
“She is fine Logan,” he rushed, trying to reassure the volatile younger man. “She is alive.”
“Then why am I here?” Logan growled, just wanting to be out the room and to sprint up the stairs to the student wing of the mansion.
“You have to understand her gift Logan. Not only does she absorb a person’s mutation, but she also absorbs a part of their consciousness.”
Logan now began to pace angrily before the large desk, passing a hand through his hair. He wanted out of here and fast.
“So you are telling me that she has a part of Magneto in her head,” he snarled, staring at the other mutant. That was all the kid needed, having that lunatic stuck in her brain for who knew how long.
“And you Logan,” the professor added slowly, watching his reaction to this new piece of knowledge.
What? Me?
“You have come into contact with her skin twice now. She also has you in her mind,” he stated firmly.
At that moment his anger reached its peak and the wolverine fought for the freedom to drag the other man over the top of the desk and tell him to talk in English and get to the point.
‘Logan, calm down,’ Once again the professor's voice barged into his mind, uninvited and unwanted.
“Get the hell out of my head,” he growled, fighting the urge to slice something up, fighting to keep the razor-sharp claws in his arms.
“Very well, Logan, but you must listen to me,” came the irritatingly calm reply.
Taking deep breaths he sat down in a chair and looked at the man opposite him, waiting for him to begin speaking.
“Erik has lived a very traumatic and troubled life Logan. Not only has he became fixed in his belief that he is right in what he was trying to do with his machine, but he has also had to watch people suffer and die, surviving the Second World War and seeing things no one would wish to.”
Logan took in all that Xavier was telling him and began to think of his own nightmares, of doctors and lab coats, of pain and bubbling liquids. Did what he was now being told mean that she would have all of that in her head also? That she would have his nightmares and unknown past to deal with as well as her own fears and near death experience?
He sat silently as the professor wheeled himself from behind the desk.
“Rogue has not slept since she was brought back,” he stated matter-of-factly, the only thing giving away his true concern was the smell that beat at Logan like a wall.
“She hasn't slept in four days,” Logan repeated slowly. “Couldn't you have given her something to knock her out?” he asked, beginning to seriously question the intelligence of the people around him. Marie would make herself ill if she didn't get sleep.
“She is suffering from nightmares Logan,” Xavier explained, all the while shaking his head solemnly as a silent answer to the question.
“The first night back, she woke both myself and Jean with the strength of her terror and ever since then it is my understanding that she has not slept or, if she has, it has not been for any great amount of time or of any benefit. She is isolating herself from the other students, and though she is favouring being with Ororo and Scott she is becoming less and less responsive.”
Logan shook his head in despair, taking in what the professor had just told him and trying to process it. The girl that he had feelings for (even if he couldn't identify what feelings they were); that he cared enough for to risk his life for was becoming ill and he just didn't know what to do about it.
“What am I supposed to do?” he asked helplessly.
“Be there for her.”
Marie lay back onto her bed and closed her eyes, the throbbing in her head lessening as her mental Logan began to calm down. She was so thankful that Bobby had finally left her.
As soon as she had seen him standing in the doorway of her room bits of conversation from their last meeting had flashed through her mind.
“You never use your power against another mutant.”
“The professor is furious...”
“You should leave.”
And before she knew what was happening, or even had a chance to think of something to say, she had a snarling Logan in her head wanting to rip the boy's head from his shoulders.
She had spent his entire visit trying to stay in control of her own body and funnily her hands were hurting where non-existent metal blades were trying to force their way through her skin and into the body of the boy in front of her.
'I'll kill him,' snarled Logan, 'the little-'
Marie had rapidly cut him off, focusing all her attention on the boy standing before her; trying to ignore the ever-present feelings of Logan as he raged within her.
The whole discussion had been awkward and painful as she had answered a bunch of questions with positives and negatives - not trusting herself to speak in sentences, in case she told him just what she was feeling.
“Are you all right?”
“Yes.” No, not really.
“Are you comfortable?”
“Yes.” Try being me for a day and then tell me how comfortable you feel being trapped in your own skin, idiot.
The Logan in her head had laughed heartily at her silent show of spirit before taking up a low growl when Bobby had reached for her.
Out of habit she had taken a step backwards, avoiding any contact- rubbing her gloved fingers at the joints where the ache was increasing, the pressure inside her head growing worse as Logan hissed and snarled at the boy, while Magneto mumbled something unintelligible from his corner of her mind.
Taking the hint at long last, Bobby had left her in peace, frowning at her odd behaviour - but she didn't care. She just wanted the noise in her head to stop and to have some silence, and it had stopped to some extent.
Bobby just hadn't understood her need to be alone or at least, if not alone, then in silence.
Storm knew that that was what she needed.
Ever since returning, the weather witch had seemed to take it upon herself to keep Marie company when she was not teaching classes. She made sure that she ate and got out of her room, but never pressed Marie to give anything that she couldn't- not minding the long hours of silence.
She had also grown surprisingly close to Scott in the last few days. He seemed to view her as a little sister, being protective in his manners towards her, often coming to sit with her and Ororo in silence.
She was grateful for their support and acceptance and though Magneto whispered in her mind of ulterior motives she pushed him as far as she could to the back of her mind, just wanting to see the surface of their actions. She had also had to silence Logan who took to growling whenever Scott came near her. She didn't really understand why. Scott was a pretty nice guy and treated her with respect, never making her feel uncomfortable in his presence.
She sighed wearily, grabbing hold of her pillow and hugging it tightly to herself once again. She was so tired but the fear of nightmares kept her awake. She had managed to dose off for a few minutes the day before; her heavy lids weighed down by lead, finding it impossible to keep them open any longer. So she had felt herself fall, knowing a second or two’s rest before memories not her own had flooded her mind.
She had bolted awake and raced to the bathroom opposite her room and retched what little she had eaten at lunch into the toilet. Feelings of unbearable pain both mental and physical were still dancing through her mind and body.
Not wanting to think about it any longer than necessary she didn't even try to figure out if it was Logan's or Magneto's life that had filled her dreams. Instead, she had tried to rub her mind clean as she walked back to her room to watch the sun slowly rise over the surrounding land.
A tear fell down her cheek slowly and she tried to pull herself together, but to no avail.
I'm so tired. I just want to sleep.
She began to sob into her pillow, burying her head into the soft material as she held it tighter to her.
I just want to sleep.
She was so lost in her tears that she didn't even hear the soft knock at her door or the squeak as it opened.
It wasn't until she found herself being held to a very strong and very large frame that she realised she wasn't alone.
Opening her eyes, she found herself looking into the eyes of one Wolverine.
“Logan?” she whispered, her voice wobbly with tears.
‘About time,’ announced the Logan in her head.
“Hey, kid, did you miss me?”
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