The stars outside the bedroom window have begun to fade, the rays of the sun slowly begin to peak through the trees. Sleep, such a hard thing to achieve now, but why? He felt her stirring all night, and then slowly leave the room. He had turned over and let his thoughts wonder to the stars, those little diamonds in the sky that he had seen so many times before. Somehow, they had changed, as if over night. Somehow they seemed dull and so far away. Something, was stirring in his gut, his mind, something wasn’t right, and the universe was telling him that.
Scott sat up and ran a hand through his hair. The clock on the night stand flashed in bright red 5:45 am. It was almost morning and Emma had not yet returned. He was going to be getting up in half an hour anyways, might as well see were she went to.
Walking down the stairs, he could have sworn the mansion was deserted, not a sound to be heard. He made his way towards the kitchen and then to the library. For some reason, Emma had been spending a lot of time there lately. She obsessed over reading the latest magazines on fashion, plastic surgery and finances. There were a number of times he would find her there, in the library, books and magazines spread all over the floor. He just could not understand what she was looking for, so he would just let her be and not ask any questions. Who knew, it could have been a new hand bag, a new pair of boots or even a new hair style. Scott Summers knew better then to get in her way when it came to these things.
What a mess. As neat and organized as this woman was, when she got into her zone she really could create chaos. Books, papers and magazine were all open and tossed onto a large study table. One small reading light shone were Emma’s figure hunched over a book in great concentration. Slowly, Cyclops makes his way to the disaster, making sure not to trip on any of the clutter.
“Emma...I woke up and saw that you were...”
Still focused on her book, she waves a hand at him as if trying to cease his chatter. “Shhh...This is a library.”
Scott takes a look around the room, making sure that no one else is there and lowers his voice to a whisper like tone.
“Uh...right...sorry.”
Taking her focus off her book, Emma turns her eyes to him. She can see that he’s worried and confused. “Dearest, is there something I can help you with?”
Scott sighs, pulls out a chair and sits next to her. “Do you? Do you remember when Jean was resurrected last time?”
Emma rolls her eyes and puts a hand to her forehead. “Scott, how could I forget?”
“Well do you remember that we both had this feeling, that...that something wasn’t right...and the dreams...” He trails off and stares at the piles of books on the table. Woman Fitness. Cosmopolitan. Marketing.
“I remember.” Emma’s head fills with the images of the dream she had. Possessed by the Phoenix she slowly killed Scott. She shudders as a chill makes its way through her spine.
Silence. Only the breathing of the two lovers can be heard.
Emma lifts her head and stares into the visor of her loved one. Although, she can’t see his eyes, she can feel them, staring right back at her own. Realization has fallen upon them, they know what they will soon have to face.
“I love you.”
“What?”
As if in a day dream, Emma shakes her head lightly, wondering if she’s hearing things.
“I love you.”
“Oh Scott, my love. We will get through this, again.”
Secretly, she fears, fears that they will not get through this. Time and time again their loved had been tested, and time and time again it prevailed. But what about this time? That was always the question on her mind. She knew that she worried too much, but it was still their, still tugging away at the edges of her mind. But what about this time?
“Don’t worry.”
Not being able to say anything, Emma just stares, stares into his wonderfully loving face.
“You know, I don’t have to be a psychic to know that you’re worried.”
“Well, yes, I am worried. What if she is back? And what if this time it is for good? Will you go back to her then?”
“Do you really believe that, Emma?”
“No. Yes. I don’t know.”
“Come on, you can’t seriously believe that. Is that why you’re always down here? Is that the reason you’re always reading this garbage? Emma. You have to trust me on this.”
“Ever since...Ever since, Golgotha, I’ve felt...felt old. Felt out of shape. Like that I have lost touch of the trends. I think that I somehow convinced myself, that if I get back into the flow of things, that maybe I would have a better chance...”
“A better chance at what?”
“At holding on to you!”
Scott lifts her little hands to his lips and kisses them softly. “You know...you always had a hold of me. Even when I was with her, you always had me.”
“I am no fool Scott Summers. You came to me, but only after she had died. Only then was I good enough for you!”
“No, that’s not true. For years, I always tried to replace her with another vision of her. I always thought that without her, my life was a sham. Then I met you. I started to realize, that my life with her, our marriage, that was the real lie. It’s like my entire beliefs of what a relationship should be were pushed on me. My hole life, I thought I couldn’t live without her, but then she passed away the first time and I was...I was ok, maybe even a little relieved. Nothing happened, my life continued and I moved on. But then there she was again, back from the dead. I guess I thought I should be happy so I was, for a time. Soon I realized our life together was a burden.”
“Scott, I...”
“It’s ok. I thought maybe if you gave me counseling, that maybe our marriage had a chance. But that wasn’t the problem. The real problem was Jean was back, and I had already moved on, had already grieved. So I left, took some well deserved me time. During that time, I made my choice. I came to the realization, that the life Scott Summers and Jean Grey had, had already come to an end. My marriage ended the first time I buried her. I’m just sorry I wasn’t able to see that sooner. The best thing I could do, was to actually finally move on. To do that, I needed you.”
Emma’s eyes moisten. She can’t believe her ears.
“But then...then I get back. I don’t even have time to let anyone know I’m still living and Magneto shows up. Then I burry her again, without ever telling anyone my true feelings. I’m pointed out as the bad guy in all of this, the cold hearted jerk. But not one person has ever thought to even ask me if I wanted to be with Jean when she came back so many times. They all assumed I wanted to be with her, time and time again. And I think...I think that’s why I went back, every time, for them, for her...never for me. It was never for me. Emma, you are the one person who’s ever really thought...what does Scott want.”
The two figures embrace and the room falls silent again. Morning light spills in through the windows. Leaving the clutter behind, the two lovers leave the room.
“You know Scott, I could really use nap right about now.”
“Yeah, me too.”
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Alrighty. Here is Chapter five. This is more of a Scott/Emma chapter, but it has to be written, I want ppl to know about them, because they will very much be involved in this story. Hope you all enjoy this chapter.
Disclaimer : I do not own any of the x-men, darn!
Disclaimer : I do not own any of the x-men, darn!
Chapter End Notes:
Don't worry, more Logan/Rogue will be here soon.