We're on the train with that strange man, going back to where it all started. Logan is sitting across from me, completely still, silent as a stone. He looks out the window, without seeing anything it seems. I need to touch him, know that he is alright, but after what happened in London, I don't know. He wouldn't talk to me, and it's killing me. I know I've been wrong, but what can I do now. I'd do anything to reverse the time.
The other man, that so-called scientist doesn't talk either, he's just staring from me to Logan, an unreadable expression on his face. I do wonder if it's wise to follow him. I've been away for weeks now. I sent a note to Denver before I left, asking Dr. Drake to keep an eye open while I was away. Dr. Drake, Robert has been one of me colleagues in Boston. We are issued of the same promotion and stayed very close; well in a professional way. He'd always send me the latest medical reviews and books, even without me to ask. He's a very good man, dedicated to his work. I wonder what he'd think of me right now.
The train makes a last stop before Colorado Springs. I can see Logan tense up as he takes in his environment. His hand dig in the pocket of his coat almost absently; searching.
"Logan, are you alright?"
My voice sounds alien, even to me. I haven't used it in so long that I forgot what it sounds like.
He doesn't answer, and that earns me an odd look from the older man sitting nest to him.
"You don't seem to get along very well..."
Which earns him a glare from Logan and an annoyed sigh from me. But the man goes on nonetheless.
"Where did you find him anyway? It is so unexpected, seeing the two of you like that."
I don't know if I should answer this one or let Logan deal with that, revealing what he wants to. After all, it's about him, not about me.
He sends a cold look in the general direction of the window before adding to my surprise:
"We're together. That's all you need to know."
Logan's words have me looking at the toes of my shoes helplessly, trying to hide my discomfort. Yet it seems that it doesn't go unnoticed by the other man.
"As you wish, my dear friend." Then after another pause he drawled in his strange accent, "You're so much like him...it's amazing. Even your personality, your taste for privacy. It all make sense though. You are him in so many ways, but yet so different."
Then the compartment fell silent until we arrived at destination a few hours later. Logan raised an uncertain look at me, his face ashen, drained from life. Whatever it is, I hope this is not goodbye. I pray, plead and beg to God for it not being the last I see of him. But deep inside, I know that I can't keep him, I know I'll fail again.
That's what happened with that handsome soldier; 'my' Logan. I failed at keeping him safe from harm. He died and it's my fault. I was so young, but I already knew. I wanted him. He wanted me. But I knew, I was old enough to know that what I did was wrong.
And I left him alone, and that night, he died.
The rather brutal stop of the train brings me back to reality and to my actual inner fight over what I have to do. We get off without a word, following that man we hardly know, trusting him with our lives. I look expectantly at Logan who seems to be resolved, if not completely convinced.
We take a cabriolet to upper town, in a forest I didn't even know existed. The place is ravaged and kind of deserted it seems. We enter through the damaged fence and walk towards a strange looking house. Logan has a few difficulties to walk on the irregular ground with his walking stick. We don't enter the house right away. Instead, we counter it and reach a kind of small clearing where uncountable hats are pilled next to a tree, and black cats fighting over one of them black ornaments.
Logan's eyes are nailed to the scene before us, something apparently hitting home in his mind, his hand instinctively reaching for mine.
"Yes, my dear friend." The other man says, his thick accent suddenly gone. "This is where it all began. You and maybe a good hundred of him born and killed right here."
"Oh God, this is..." I feel my blood leave my face. The words suddenly traitorous, failing to express the horror I feel.
"Yes my dear. I tried to warn him, but Angier wouldn't listen. He was obsessed by his art, by the loss of his wife and by his once best friend and brother in arm."
"How do you know it?" Logan speaks, now his voice full of dread. "You said he was rather secretive. He...I never told you anything!"
What's the confusion about? Is Logan remembering anything?
"Indeed. But let me remind you that you are not alone in this story and in the end I ended up knowing more about than I wish I did. Three more persons are involved, and among them two only and truly are one. That is what caused the fall of the Great Danton. They could divide at will, but not him. Well at least not at first."
"What are you talking about? Two truly are one? What's the meaning of this?!"
"Two brothers, twins. You spent all your life with them and you never knew."
"The Transported Man...it was..."
"They were two. My dear friend."
"You're lying! You son of a..."
"Logan! Please Logan release him!"
"You should listen to the young lady, whatever she calls you."
"I spent years, my whole money, all my energy in a quest, a guess...I thought I finally found the key, and all this time, I was..."
"Fooled. Like everyone of us."
Logan slumps to his knees, unbelieving, defeated. And I can swear on everything that is dear to me that he can remember. Everything. I can see it in his tears filled eyes, in the horror clear on his face.
This is goodbye.
I slump down next to him even before I realize what I'm doing, and hug him as tight as my arms allow me. He needs me now, and I can't deny it, can't deny him anymore.
"Logan, look at me, please..."
"I lost everything, all I had to this man. My wife...He...Oh God. All this time."
"Logan...it's over."
"He killed her Marie, he killed her! All this time my art was all I had left, and he took it from me too. He took everything I had."
"But You're still alive." I try, soothing, crying, profusely over the terrible waist I know nothing about. That's when it hits me... "You have me." I say, my voice barely a whisper in Autumn wind.
I love you...Logan.
"Let's go."
I stand up on wobbly legs, holding Logan's hand like it was the last thing that kept me anchored to the earth. I'm shaken and sick, tears clouding my vision, but I have to do this. For him. Come what may, I won't leave him, not now.
***********
We left the scientist standing alone in the clearing and we left. Walked back to town and to my house.
We never let go of each other's hand, never spoke a word. We just stood there in stunned silence.
Once in my room, Logan fell to his knees, his arms tightly wrapped around my waist, his breath heating my stomach through layers and layers of cloths. He let dry sobs escape from his wrecked body, almost crushing me in his embrace. But I wouldn't let go. Not now, not ever.
He calmed down eventually, and settled to caress his silky hair, enjoying the warmth coming from his scalp and settling in my fingers. All those things I did all those years ago and that I gave up because I thought I'd never been given a second chance.
'My' Logan. Meeting at night out of town near the Indian Reservation, sharing our love under the stars. 'My' handsome soldier. One night I told him that maybe I was in child, and it has been the happiest moment of our lives. He talked about marriage, and meeting my grandfather to him my hand. And then everything came crashing dawn. I lost our baby and I never recovered from that. I never told him, didn't have the time. Another night I came to tell him that it was over. Didn't have the courage to face him and tell him I had killed his child. So I didn't come to our rendez-vous. That night a renegade attack struck the Reservation and Logan's body has been found two days later among Indians' and soldiers' alike. I never told anyone that I knew him, never told anyone that I loved him. My grandfather fell sick a few days after; seeing me retreating into myself a little bit more each day.
All my choices proved me wrong. I always failed at letting my true feelings show and that coast me the first man I ever loved. If I had come that night, I would have died too; but we would have been together.
So now what? I need to let go of the past too. Just like the man in my arms right now needs to. We're both shaken and damaged, but not beyond repair, not if we try.
I have to...say it.
"I..."
He hugs me even tighter, his body shivering, pleading, begging...
"I love you, Logan. I love you."
Then I see him, lifting up his face to look at me, take in my expression, gauge my sincerity. And all I see is the face of 'my' handsome soldier, smiling back at me, tears staining his face.
"I love you too Marie. Always have, always will."
La Fin
The Wolverine & Rogue Fanfiction Archive
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Sorry for the long long wait; been busy.
I let the story write itself, seeing a whole different world...in my bubble (got no life...)
Disclaimer: I own nothing but my sick imagination!
I let the story write itself, seeing a whole different world...in my bubble (got no life...)
Disclaimer: I own nothing but my sick imagination!