Alkali Lake proved to be the beginning of the end for me. The end of searching, the end of running, the end of seedy bars and lusting after unattainable red heads…
And the beginning of something I had…had never felt before…
Love?
Early on it seemed such an alien and `weak' emotion somehow, and part of me – the `Wolverine' part of me – fought to reject it every fuckin' step of the way.
Deep down he was scared, I'll admit that now even if he `still' won't, but fear has a way of disguising itself as anger where my alter ego is concerned so it proved to be a tough battle to win. It seemed ironic that I would leave the cage fighting behind only to start a new battle - in my head –
Logan verses the Wolverine.
But I always knew that I'd win in the end. Because the thought of losing Marie scared me a whole lot more than the idea of love scared the Wolverine. This wasn't about winning a few hundred bucks anymore.
Just a pity that the `battle' took five long years. It would've driven any normal man to drink. Only my healing factor didn't allow for that, so I had to settle for beers and cigars and 2am broods in the mansion kitchen.
She took it all in her stride though, because that's the kinda woman she became - more patient than I deserved. Although there was always a hint of amusement in those old-before-her-years eyes of hers, as if she knew all along what the score was and she was just waiting for me to stop being such a dumbass and realise it too.
I saw frustration in those eyes too, and a deep longing that all but tore out my heart, and I hated being the cause of it. But I needed to do this right. I was fighting this battle for us. For our future.
I watched her for a long time before I `realised' anything though. I watched her look all intense as she played chess with Chuck, wrestle to catch her first fish at the lake with Hank, twist that voluptuous body of hers into yoga positions with Storm, sing impressively good karaoke with Kurt, kick Scott's ass in combat class (that's my girl!), and do all that teenage girlie stuff with Jubilee and Kitty…
I even watched her flirt a little with Bobby and then later, that new kid - Remy…although this was with clenched fists and narrowed eyes on my part…hey, I'm only human after all…
I watched it all.
I watched her grow up.
I watched her become beyond beautiful, both physically and as a human being. And maturity seemed to add the finishing touches to her perfection, like she was a breathtaking painting that was now finally complete.
And that's when I stopped watching.
That's when I finally made her mine.
And now she's lookin' at me like she knows exactly what I'm thinking (again) and I just know that I must have some goofy _expression on my face. Love aint much good for the bad-ass reputation, I can tell you that straightaway! Thing is though, I seemed to stop caring when I stopped watching.
She snuggles closer to me on one of Chuck's plush sofas and I love the feel of her soft warm body against mine. We seem to fit, like we're two parts of the same soul that have finally come together again. When she peers up at me with those gorgeous brown eyes of hers I feel like I'm drowning, and I can think of no better way to go.
"What are you thinking?"
I blink out of my reverie (yeah – reverie! – got a problem with that?!) and scowl. What is it with women and that question? And I shudder to think what the world would be like if `all' women were telepathic.
When I don't answer she looks kinda desperate and hell – I can't refuse her anything when she makes that face.
"I was…" I start, but falter.
"Yeah, sugar?" she purrs, and that tone of voice is another thing that has wrapped me around it's little finger too many times than I'd care to admit.
I reach across to run my fingers through those sexy platinum locks of hers. "I was just thinking…thinking that you're…" I struggle to get the words out. Love may have mellowed me, tamed the Wolverine, but mushy words are still kinda stubborn…still tend to stick in the throat and refuse to go any further.
"I'm…?" she persists and I suddenly think, fuck this…you can do this… they're only words for Christ's sake…it isn't as if you haven't told her you love her…over and over…
"Beyond beautiful," I finally reveal, somewhat hoarsely, and I'm sure that a disembodied voice just cried out alleluia in my head. "I was thinking that you're beyond beautiful, darlin'"
Her eyes glisten at that and she smiles the biggest, most heart-stopping smile that I've ever seen, and I just have to move across and kiss her. Claim those beautiful lips. Make her mine. Again.
And for a moment there is no past, no future, only the present. Only this moment. And it feels so fuckin' good.
Yeah. Alkali Lake was the beginning of the end for a time-wearied soul like me. The end of pain, of hurting, of a rage that bordered upon torture…and the beginning of living.
It's as simple as that.
Living.
Love was just an added bonus.
A double-whammy bonus if you count the fact that my woman is beyond beautiful.
THE END
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