Author's Chapter Notes:
There it is and sorry for the wait! Chapter 6 in stores.

Feelings are spoken aloud, bonds are getting thicker.

Hope you enjoy reading as much I enjoyed writting.
Thanks for the review, they really make me want to give my very best.

Ps: Disclaimers, I own nothing at all, Stan Lee and Fox are in control...
There are things eyes just don’t see. That's what I keep on telling myself since my baby's here with me.

I’m in another room now, with my son and half a million machines monitoring the least of our moves. I’ve tried to think of a name for a long time now, I thought I’d find something nice and cute but nothing really suits him.
He has those huge golden-green eyes with endless lashes, a tiny little mouth and cheeks that can only make you think of a full moon. He’s got a lot of hair, I mean, he’s almost covered from head to toe with a very thin blond duvet whereas the hair on his head is almost jet black. He’s really the cutest baby I’ve ever seen; a little…well, hairy, but really adorable. I guess I’m not objective here, right?

*****************

His eyes, they make me think of Logan’s.
I never really paid much attention to them until two days ago when I went through total hell to have my baby boy. I was literally lost in them, mesmerized by their light, the feelings of concern and support they carried. I don’t know why, but it felt like they captured me.
What am I saying? We’re talking about Logan, my friend, my best friend, and teacher, the one that saw me peeing in my pants that night, looking like shit and shouting like I was out of my mind. There was absolutely no romance to see in this scene. But yet, his presence really helped me to go through this all. I don’t know what I’d become that night if he hadn’t been there.

There are still many things I’d like to ask him, though. Like all those hesitations around my name and the fact that he was in my room long before anyone knew I was having the baby. And most of all why does he do all the things he does for me? I know it should make me feel loved and cared about, but it just makes me sad, because the one person that should be doing all those things for me is not there. Come on, I’m seventeen and all alone with a child to raise. I still haven’t completed school yet. Just how on earth did I end up in such a fucked up situation?

Who was this guy? Was it a boy from here? Or did it happen during the short period of time I just can’t recall? That seems probable, though, if you give it a thought.
The time, the circumstances, the fact that no one wants to tell me the truth, it all could match. Maybe that was really hard and that’s why they won’t tell me. Maybe they want to protect me from some trauma. It’s frustrating not to know. But it also scares me...

They told me everything about the Magneto guy and everything, the weird hair-do, but none of them told me how it really happened. There were no details at all. They just told me that it was tough and that I almost didn’t survive. And, well regarding all the things they tell me about me, I guess I’m pretty out of luck, I mean, in general. Not that I want to feel sorry for myself, you know, there really must be something going wrong with my lucky star because, man, I’ve been through some crazy stuffs up until now.

Logan seems to be like he was quite close to me from the beginning, though and maybe I should just ask him.

How long has he been at Xavier's? He seems so familiar…

I really need to know what happened. And about THE question: how did *this* happen to me? Because you know, one day my sweet little boy’s going to ask me: ‘Hey, momma where’s daddy? Why is it that I can’t see him?’ and then, what do I do? Tell him his dad is a secret agent or some stuff like that?

Lying is not a solution. I don’t want to lie about that; I want to know even if it hurts. I can’t do that to him.

************************

I’m taking a look at my new environment; all the things, the furniture, the presents from my friends and the teachers. Even Jean who’s been quite withdrawn untill now offered a huge teddy bear and some clothes; they’re very cute, I love them.

Scott, Storm, Dr McCoy, they all have been great with me despite the whole situation. In fact they seemed quite happy to see me back, almost relieved. That makes my issue burning a little bit harder.

Maybe I was kidnapped and locked away in one of those horrible labs Jubilee told me about once. Or even worse...

Oh God… I can’t think of that…


My boy never cries. He never asks for breast or cleaning or anything. He just looks around calmly with his oversized sparkling eyes. Dr McCoy comes and checks on us every few hours because the baby’s mutation isn’t still very clear, although he doesn’t suck me dry anymore, and that’s some good news.

The professor keeps on coming to see me for my daily lessons, never forgetting to take my dear angel in his arms to tell him how brave his momma is and it always make me laugh, because, I’m *not* brave at all, and the professor knows it very well; he knows I’m so scared, always.

Jubilee and Kitty fell head over heels for my boy, telling high and clear that he has the cutest future badass face they’d ever seen, and today he’s wearing one of the baby clothes that Logan bought him; the very first I was offered to be more precise, when I was still between life and death, lying on a bed and as fat as the fattest cow you can possibly imagine. It’s a very sweet pale blue thing, but without motives of funny animals playing around on the front; it’s just simple, I like it a lot.

In fact I wanted to dress my baby with it for his first day in this world. I mean after he left the examination room and that they finally concluded that he won’t kill me.

I don’t really know why I wanted to see him in that in fact; I just couldn’t imagine things differently.

Everybody offered me clothes for the baby, they’re all very cute, but Logan’s stand far above them, and somewhere, in a tiny little spot of my heart, it bothers me out of my head. It reminds me of the ambiguous feelings He seems to have for me, and those I’m starting to have for him, and all the missing ‘father’ thing.

*********************

I’m not a fool, and I don’t believe him when he tells me that he cares for me and the baby because we’re going through some hard stuff. But still, it’s not clear, something doesn’t match; he cares too much for us, and from the beginning, well from the day I was introduced to him. I want it to be clear, once for all! I need to know even if… Well to hell with that, I need to know who this guy is and just how he’s related to me!



A tiny little knock on my door stops my train of thoughts.



It’s Logan. Freshly shaved and dressed like he’s going to…help me out here… He’s stunning. Black tight jeans, creamy shirt and hair nicely cut. He looks all better than with the spikes and mutton chops. Oh. My. God. Rogue, keep the butterflies in their cage!

“Hey!”

“Hey…” What’s wrong with my voice? It’s all so weak. Don’t drool! Gawd, it’s gross… I’m so pathetic… Somebody, please steal me from me.


Logan enters my room with a cute blue little teddy bear in his hand.

“Logan, you shouldn’t have…”

“It’s not for you, it’s for the kid.” He nods his head to the baby’s bed.

“I think I noticed that. It’s blue…?”

“Yeah, now I know it’s a boy, I didn’t hesitate on the color anymore. How’re you feeling? I almost expected to find you whining on your bed, looking like you’ve been let out of an asylum.”


Ho ho ho , smartass.

“Sorry to disappoint you Mister…I’m feeling wonderful in fact, as strange as it may seem. A little overwhelmed with emotions and all strange, but, yeah, I’m felling great.”

“No, I’m glad to see you like that, really. How’s the boy? Let me see that.”


He doesn’t look that much surprised to see no remnants of the delivery; well Dr McCoy was anyway and he talked about some healing stuff, didn’t really follow that part, it was like Chinese to me.


Logan steps closer to the baby’s bed and wraps his broad hands carefully around my son's little body.


“Welcome to the world Mister… By the way, Mister what? Hope you found a nice name for the cool little guy.”

And Bham!

"No… I tried, hard, but nothing seems to suit him. I mean, take a look at him, he doesn’t look like a ‘Joey’ or ‘Adam’ or… I know I’m a terrible mother, but now that he’s here, all I’ve been thinking of is just…" Come on spit it, you've been dying to ask! "I thought you might help me find something..."


Logan’s face falls for a split second and then he turns a tired look down to me. Please, pretty please...!

“It has to be you Rogue. *You*’re the one to choose *his* name.”

“I know, but I can’t seem to find and it’s driving insane. I need my friend’s help here; I need your help.”



After an eternity and uncountable sighs, Logan sits down on the chair closest to my bed and studies my son intensely. They are watching each other it seems, gauging. The baby doesn’t make a sound. And then, like in a dream, Logan starts talking, ever so quietly, leaning his face close to my little boy’s round face; he’s whispering to him. The image is like an electroshock and my mind is burning; it’s just plain beautiful. It’s like they’re all alone in the whole world.


Jessie, Declan, Julian, Hayley, Cameron, Kerrey…


Five minutes during which all I can hear is the muffled sound of Logan’s voice and the tiny respiration exhaling from my baby boy.

He’s starting to make soft noises, lifting his tiny hands to Logan’s face. What’s that? Can new born children actually do that? I'll be damned...


The choice was made, though. My baby made his choice. He’s been calm until now and all of a sudden he’s, well humming? Purring…? That’s, uh… new. I’ll have to ask Dr McCoy about that. Don’t panic, Rogue!


“So?” I said in a whisper too, not wanting to interrupt their communion.

“James…”

“James? Well, never thought of that one. Never thought you knew so many names either; you’ve been talking for ages!” A little bit old fashioned but not bad at all! I never thought of that, the whispering thing and all.

“He seems to like it, look at him.” Logan looks quite excited, I mean, he looks happier than me, it seems.

The baby seemed to like he’s name and that was true, because he did have a somewhat smile-like grin on his face. Can two-days-old babies actually grin; willingly? Logan mirrored his expression and sighed contentedly then frowned a little.

“I think ‘James’ needs some diaper changing.”

“What? I’ve just changed him…”

“Trust me on that, kid.”

'Kid?'

“Don’t you dare calling me that again, I’m a mom now! Just how do you know that, I can’t smell anything…”

“Well I can.”

“You can smell?”

“Yeah…got a problem with that *kid*?”

***********************

It hits me like a ton of bricks. I don’t know what Logan’s powers can be; I have no idea. Strange, uh? I don’t even know my best friend’s ‘gift’… How could I have been so oblivious? After all this time? What kind of friend am I? I’ve been so caught up in myself and my problems that I didn’t pay *real* attention to Logan, and if I want to know who he really is, I might just start with that as well.


“Kid? You still with me?” the sound of his voice brings me back to him and to the real world.

“Yeah, no, it’s just that I never knew what your powers were now that I think of it, well, I can’t remember” After a long pause I start again, trying to sound casual. “So you can smell things?”

“Not only.” Irritation?

“So, what else?”

“Trust me, you don’t want to know.”

“Oh, yeah? Well I *want* to know.” I try playfully.

Logan’s features darken suddenly, though. He rises from the chair and takes the baby back to his bed. I can feel tension hugging him close; he swallows hard. What the hell?

“My powers aren’t very pretty, so it’s better if you don’t know.” Oh, please, don’t give me that!

“I thought I was the one to decide what I wanted or didn’t want to hear or know. And I want to know, Logan.”

He breathes deeply, shakily. After endless minutes he speaks again.

“Okay, I can heal. Very rapidly, I mean.” Somebody said ‘heal’? Should it make me think of something in particular?

“And…?” Come on it's not that hard, is it?

“I can see in the dark, hear the merest sound, feel the changes in the air and in people’s demeanor.”

“And…?”

“And that’s it, happy now?”

“No, it’s not. You’re hiding something from me. What is it?” What do I know? What the hell am I saying? I know he's not telling me everything, I can smell it on him. Okay, *that* should make me think of something...Don't. Panic.

“That’s. It.”

He’s trembling now. Oh, God. Bad temper might be a part of the whole stuff too, because he seems about to lose control.

“No, Logan… You can tell me, you know.” Don’t push it, you see that the guy’s gonna shred you to pieces…or not. He’s not mad. He’s…afraid, and hurt. I can feel it pouring off him, wave after wave. His pain is filling the air all around us, fills my bones, deep, very deep inside of me. What’s happening right now?

“Logan, what’s wrong?”

“You really want to know what I can do kid? You want to know what my powers are?”

“Yes Logan. I want to know you, I need to see you; all of you.” This is going way too far for my own good. God, Rogue, stop talking!

A short silence and then a cold ‘snikt’ sound comes along as three metal claws extend from each of Logan’s hands. Oh. My. God. They slide slowly between his knuckles, long and angry looking, but yet so perfectly shaped, almost pure.
Strangely enough, they don’t scare me, it’s all the other way around; they hypnotize me, they make me love him even more than I did until now. A strange kind of knowledge slaps me in the face as I realize that my feelings were more deeply rooted than what I thought.

“Is it the only part of you made of metal?” What was that? Confused feelings start to rush inside my mind, pain and shame. Where do they come from?

“No. How do you know it…?”
Logan now looks at me not quite believing the words that are falling from my lips; is it rememberance?

“I… I don’t know. I just thought… I don’t know.” I can’t look at him right now. He’s too real all of a sudden, I’m afraid to lose myself in his presence. Pain… too much pain, but my mouth won’t stop.

“This metal covers all your bones, it’s… it’s everywhere inside you. It’s so heavy. Oh, God, Logan!” Flashes run in my head, glimpses of images, faces, masks and gloves. A tank of water and drills boring into someone’s body, deep and down to his core. Oh dear God, the man lying in the tank, tightly cuffed to a table, it’s Logan…

“Kid? Kid, stay with me!”

“What did they do to you?”


__________________________________________________________




Don’t tell me we get there again!

It’s because of me; I never should have let her know!

What’s happening right now?

Images flood my mind, thoughts that don’t belong to me. They are confused but they feel warm and welcoming: motherhood, doubts and a fight for trust; they’re Marie’s feelings. How could it be? It never happened before. What the hell…?

The baby starts doing small noises too and then grows agitated. I go closer to him to check if his okay and when I look down I see two huge pure gold eyes looking at me, unfocused.

What. The. Hell?

His scent is different now, he smells like me and Marie at the same time. He’s manifesting, I feel him pull at my feelings, ever so softly, almost like a caress. Then he closes his eyes and falls deeply asleep.
I turn to Marie to find her close to James’ bed, eyes wide in…well panic. She takes him to her heart and start talking him all kinds of nonsense words that speak of fear and worry.


“What happened? James, baby, you okay? What’s wrong? Mommy is here, I won’t let anything hurt you, it’s over. Wake up...”

“You okay, kid?”

“Logan, what’s happening to him? You saw his eyes? He’s sleeping, right? He’s just sleeping, tell me he’s sleeping!”

“Marie, calm down! He's okay, look!”


I try to sound as soothing as I can, placing my arms around her shoulders, and dropping kisses on the top of her head as I check the baby's scent and pulse. Everything seems to be back to normal for him. But Marie needs to be sure; she's on the edge right now.


“I’ll get Hank and the Professor, okay? I’ll be right back.”


Here we go again… I messed up! But where exactly did it go wrong?
No, I can’t think straight. Marie’s panicked scent is thicker than air, I can’t concentrate.

***********************

I didn’t have the time to go very far, Hank and the Professor were on their way to Marie’s room. They stopped in the middle of the hallway mirroring what must be the expression plastered to my face: puzzlement and growing panic. Xavier gets his chair in motion before I have the time to speak, wheeling past from me. The blue doctor and I exchange a knowing look before we chase after him.


The three of us enter the large room, trying to get rid of our previous trouble. Chuck is the first to speak.

“Rogue my dear, it’s alright now, calm down.”

“Professor? Oh, thank God. It’s James, I think he... and now, he won’t move, he seems… It’s weird, please do something, please!”

Hank steps closer to her, checking the monitors and numerous machines around her.

“Everything looks normal, though. Blood pressure, cardiac activity normal…”

“Can you describe what happened, dear?”

“It was so strange, Logan and I were just talking, and then I felt strange, I was seeing images of Logan, feeling things that don’t belong to me…Pain, everywhere, I could see what they did to him, the scientists, and then everything was flowing out from me… And James’ eyes were all weird; he was making strange sounds…”

"Yes, and it did the very same thing with me," I add, trying to complement what Marie just said. "I could feel what Rogue felt and then there was a kind of pull, like her mutation but it wasn’t that fast and it didn’t hurt, it felt warm in fact… almost felt like a feather light touch…without her to touch me."

“Was one of you carrying the baby in your arms or having any other kind of contact with him?” Xavier asks wearily.

“No, he was… He was in his bed and then it happened, his eyes changed and then it started…”

“Rogue, try to calm down, the Professor needs to know what happened, okay? Try to relax.”

“I can’t relax Logan! My baby doesn’t move, I can’t calm down!!”

“Rogue, dear, the baby is alright. He’s fine. I think he just manifested.” Who's king of the obvious here?

“I know but what is it? And why he closed his eyes right after? Why won’t he wake up?”

“He’s sleeping Marie! James is sleeping!” Did I just say her real name out loud? For the second time in less than ten minutes?

Everybody now looks at me like I had grown a third eye. Shit! Shit, shit and shit again… That’s not good at all!
The Professor tries to speak again, acting like nothing happened.

“Rogue, Logan is right, the baby is sleeping, and he’s peaceful, trust me, my dear. He’s alright. Logan, were there any physical change while the baby manifested? Did you notice a change in his scent or anything?”

I try to regain my composure as I answer as precisely as possible.

“Yes, his eyes turned a sheer gold color, but he didn’t look like suffering, he was just staring at me it seems. And his scent changed a little…”

“What do you mean…?”

“It seemed like it was a mix of Rogue and me.” I try not to sound too excited about that and clear my throat to add “then he fell asleep very peacefully.”

“Rogue, when was the last nursing?” Hank’s voice echoes from between the machines and it get me nervous all of a sudden.

“At 9 this morning, why?”

“So it’s been a little more than two hours…”

“Why? What’s wrong?”

“Well, my dear, your son seems to be sleeping a good meal; a contented nap; he just ate.”

“What?? That’s not possible, I breast him two hours ago, he can’t be…”

What the fuck is going on right here? The baby ate? What? When? I need explanations here!

“What do you mean doc’?”

“I mean that the boy you see here is sleeping after a good meal. He was hungry, so he ate.”

“How d’ya know?”

“Trust me on that, the machines I put here to monitor Rogue and her baby are not here for decoration, Logan. And as things appear to be and as I thought they would be in the end, the baby seems to have the capacity of regenerating after absorbing people’s thoughts and feelings, and maybe vital force too.”

“What? You mean he can eat me?” Do I sound like a soprano here?

“Well, it’s a way of putting things, but not only,” The professor now tries to bring his own little theory too. “it seems that he can transfer those same feelings, thoughts and energy from one person to another without touching them.”

“Oh my God, what did I give him…? What did I do to him?”

“Rogue, this has nothing to do with you, you’re not responsible for that, and I think it’s quite a useful gift.”

“Professor, my baby can eat people alive…Oh my God, he’s like me… He can kill…without even knowing.”

And I need to do something, it’s not her fault. It’s not her damn fault!!

“Hey, kid, look at me, we’re fine, and he’s too. You’re not responsible for anything here! James won’t kill anyone, you heard me?”

“Yes, Logan, is right again Rogue. You’re little boy is just what he is, a little boy.”

It hurts, bad. I mean, James is not like her, he’s like me. He acts upon instinct. If he needs, he takes, even if it includes killing. What did I do to this child? And now Marie thinks it's being her fault...?

“You’re wrong…”

“You’re not responsible for this, heard me?” I try again, in vain it seems.

You’re not responsible for anything. If there’s someone to blame, it’d be me. I am the bastard, I’m the killer. If there’s someone you need to hate, then, hate me. I did it to you, both of you.

“What are you talking about, I can’t hate you, never, Logan…”

I didn’t even realize I said this out loud.

“I hope you won’t, but I’d be a fool to believe that when I look over what I did to you.”


Fuck! Shut the fucking up!


__________________________________________________________




What? What is he talking about? What he did to me?

No. Oh, no, I don’t like the sound of this.
Logan, don’t do this, please, don’t. I love you too much to have to hate you, so please, don’t do this… It's too new, I've just admitted it to myself...


I can’t stop myself. I love him, so much it burns me alive. He’s my friend but I want so much more, I need him so desperately that it would just kill me to know that he’s hurt me in the past. I don’t know if I can handle the truth after all…

But wait a minute, what if… No, that’d be why no one wants to tell me anything until now. It’s bad enough to be worth all the forced silences and the pity I could sometimes read in people’s eyes. Oh, God, not him, not him, I’m begging of you please….

“I think I’d better go now that it’s all okay, you should try and have some rest, kid.”

He's leaving.

“Logan?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

Oh, holy shit, that slipped out so naturally and before the Professor and Dr McCoy… Oh…No…!
Stupid, stupid, Rogue!! Grrr! But it’s true, though. I do love him.

“Love you too.”

Did I just hear what I heard? And according to the sudden furry in the Professor’s eyes, it might be… Wait, what could it be? Did he read his mind?

Oh, what I’d give to touch him and know what he feels.


Blurred images, strong feelings. Love, all around me.

“I’ll take care of you…”

Wow! What was that? I didn't even touch him or anything. I heard it clear in my head, it was Logan’s voice, but he already left. Is Logan a psychic too? I turn my head to James who started making those little noises again, but his eyes are still closed. He seems on the verge of tears, his small face frowning, arms lifted up in the air. He’s sending me images. He wants something.

He wants Logan.

“Professor, you felt it?” Hank says, breathing hard.

“Yes, I did… The projection is so strong…”


Logan is back to the room even before the professor could finish his sentence. He must have felt it too.
It’s strange the connection between him and James. I’ve never seen anything like that. He bends down to the bed and takes him in his arms, kissing his forehead softly.

“I’m here kiddo, you were afraid I’d abandon you? Not even in your dreams boy. Hey… I heard big boys didn’t cry!”

***********************

That’s crazy. I mean, really crazy! The frown on James’ features fades immediately when Logan touches him. He just drifts back to sleep with-now I can swear it is a wide smile on his little face. And he looks somewhat… older?

“Yes, Rogue it seems that James grew up a little…”

Was I saying it out loud?

“It’s amazing…He’s…”

“Normal.” Logan grunts to the blue doctor as his arms wrap a little tighter around James’ body.

“Logan…I’m just saying that…”

Logan cuts him short and snarls “this kid is perfectly normal, got it, doc’?”

“I’d like to run a few tests on him for good measure.”

“No, doc’, you’re not.”

This is getting absolutely nowhere. Why’s Logan so defensive right now, I feel him on the edge and if I let things go there will be a drama soon. Not with my baby boy around gentlemen, thank you very much.


“Well, I guess that I’m the one to decide. And, I’m sorry Dr McCoy, but I’d rather not have any more tests run on James. You told me that he’s okay now, and that’s all I needed to know.”

“Fine, Rogue. But still I really would like to examine you and see how your body recovers, though. I’ll be around if you need, don’t hesitate to call me.”

“Sure Dr…”

“Please, call me Hank. Even if you don’t seem to suffer any kind of complication due to birth or the massive loss of energy, I’d like to make sure that everything is alright.”

“Okay, thank you Hank, but I’m fine, really, and I’d like to join civilization as soon as possible. Which means no more machines, no more beeps or needles or God knows what.”


The Professor addresses me a sad smile before adding:

“Well Hank, I think she’s right, and Rogue, that is exactly what I first planned to tell you. If you feel ready to go back to your former life, then we’ll all be glad to have you again. You can come back today if you wish it.”


Wow, I never meant so early, but, guess it’ll do.


“Okay. I can’t wait to see everyone. But is it really okay?” I’m not that sure all of a sudden. “I mean, for the baby and all.”

“It’s up to you, Rogue. Further examination would be a guaranty, but if you feel well enough, it’s not mandatory.”

“So maybe, we can put things like this and I’ll see you again with James in a few days for a checkup.”

“Yes, it’s wise.”

“And if anything goes wrong before that, I’ll make sure you’re the first to know, Hank.”


Logan throws me a kind of ‘I disapprove’ look and he states all so calmly that it’s almost scary: “Pack up, kid. We’re going.”

I feel a kind of resignation flowing from him. He doesn’t like that idea of me going back to them it seems. Come on, it has always been all so obvious that he wasn’t that welcome here. Every time he accidentally crossed someone coming in or out of my room, I could see the way they looked at him, it all silently talked about grudge and it hurt me like hell fire to see the way every one treated him.
For example the cold look in the Professor’s eyes right now as he looks at Logan, the way Dr McCoy carefully refrain his own feelings, but it’s all clear.

It doesn’t take a genius to understand it all. I have a part of responsibility in that.

I saw it clearly in their eyes when he said ‘Love you too’, even if it didn’t mean all I wish it would, but it apparently was enough to make them cringe and react over those simple words.


*****************************

I get up from bed and go to the wardrobe grabbing the baby’s bag and starting to put some little things in it for the day.


“Don’t worry, Rogue, we’ll have the rest of your things brought to your new room.”

My new room...?

Wait a second! Where is it am I going to? I don’t even know where the said room is. I was just about following Logan blindly, trusting him with my life not caring if this new room was in the middle of hell or what. I just was following him, and something tells me that it’s not the first time.

'Pack up, kid. We’re going.' And that's all it takes for me to follow him...Anywhere...far from here...up North.

It’s so strong in me; that knowledge that I can trust him. And James seems to share my point of view.

So I leave the room, hugging and thanking the two men remaining there, for their support and all the things they’re making possible.

“I’ll see you around then.” I add sadly.

“Yes, Rogue, and congratulations again.”


*************************************


The walk to my new world is a blissful moment of comfortable silence, and as I supposed, Logan knew perfectly where the room was.

It’s in the teachers’ wing, a little isolated, though.


__________________________________________________________




Damn Chuck was wise despite the grudge he still holds against me. My presence seems to stabilize the kid, I mean, James. He clings to me with his small fists tightly grasping at my shirt. He looks so peaceful.

In order to keep him in that state, the Professor made sure to put Marie’s room next to mine, so that the baby can still feel my presence. He also made sure that he, I and Marie were far enough from the other suits and one in particular.


I let Rogue open the door and she lets out a gasp of surprise as she considers the said room mostly looks like more an apartment. She opens eyes wide as saucers as she opens and closes every single door and drawer. I’m glad she likes it. She stops almost abruptly when she opens the sliding door that leads to my room.

“What is it? Whose room is it?


She doesn’t look surprised at all when I tell her it’s mine. In fact she gives me ‘The Look’, the one she gave me before I left for Canada soon after the Statute of Liberty stuff. The look that says ‘I know perfectly why you do this and I know that you know I know’.

I love her, and she knows it, or maybe… Stop that old man, you ain’t going there again. She needs you as a friend.

What she needs is a friend, not a lover. That's what put you there in the first place...


I need to say something, anything, just talk!

“So, uh… How you’re going to do this?”

“Do what?”

She turns to me and comes to takes James from my arms; I immediately miss him. That’s the strangest feeling ever. It’s like a part of me was suddenly taken away.

“The school stuff and all.”

“Oh, that? I guess I’ll have to bring him with me to class. There’s no baby sitter around and I can’t imagine leaving him with some stranger anyway. I know it’s all so weird, but I can’t see what else I can do, I just can’t make the Professor babysit him for me. Or maybe I can have a special schedule, you know, part time or something like that. Or…”

“Or maybe I can stay with him. I don’t have that many classes and I’ll keep an eye on him when I’m not on missions too. We can find something.”

“No, Logan, it’s wrong. You’ve already done so much for us, I can’t ask this from you.”

“No, it’s okay. I'd be glad to help.”

Try to act cool and not that much excited old man! Keep control and keep your fucking hands to yourself!

“It’s not like you asked anything, I’m the one to make the proposition here. Promise you’ll think about it?”

“Yeah, okay, I’ll give it a thought. Thank you Logan, I mean it.”


I can’t help but drop a kiss on top of her head as a weird kind of knowledge strikes me, something stronger than me and that I can no longer control.

They’re mine, the both of them. The Wolverine inside of me shouts and claims high and clear that it’s my duty to protect them and to watch over them. I’d die for them. But there is something else. He keeps on telling me that Marie is my mate; he won’t leave me alone with that. I can’t sleep at night, can’t focus during day time. I even let her real name slip with two other persons in the room; I even called her baby and told her I love her. I don’t know how much thought she’s going to give it anyway, but I let it happen.

This is not good.



She looks so different from the girl I knew. She’s… she’s a woman now. And she’s mine.

No!!


I need to get the hell out of here before I say something I don’t want to say, or all things I want to say.

I’d like to tell her, so much it hurts. But I don’t want to force her. As long as she doesn’t remember, I can’t tell her.


“Try to settle down, okay? I’ll get the rest of your stuffs.”

She smiles at me; one of those heart breaking smiles. I really need to get my ass out of this place. Breathe, old man, breathe!

God, I'm S.C.R.E.W.E.D.!
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