I woke up in a panic. I had no idea where I was or how long I'd been there. Everyone has had that feeling, you wake up in a strange place and your brain just doesn't kick in for a few minutes. Something eventually triggers your memory and you're ok. For me, my memory kicked in when I realized Logan was talking to me and rubbing my back.
"What? I'm....sorry. What did you say?" Nothing was processing in my head.
"I asked if you're alright. Were you having a nightmare?" He sounded a little annoyed, which annoyed me.
"Yeah, I'm fine. I just couldn't think of where I was. I'm not used to not sleeping in my own bed, ya know." Why was I so irritated with him all the sudden?
"No, I guess you're not." He gave me this wry look, like he had something more to say, but he stayed silent. We just sat there for a few minutes, until I couldn't take it anymore.
"Ok! Well, since I don't normally go AWOL from my room, I should probably head back, check on Jubes, make sure she isn't forming a search party." He just stared at me. Really, this was getting more and more ridiculous.
"Look Marie, we need to talk about last night. I think that maybe we---" I held up a hand to stop him. I did not want to talk about anything. I just wanted to shower and have some coffee.
"Logan. I don't want some weird, morning-after chat. Can we just, stick a pin in it and carry on like we normally do? We can talk about it later." Or never. I glanced up at him and he narrowed his eyes. Dammit, man, what were you thinking?
"Stick... a... pin... in.. it?" He repeated each word slowly, as if I was talking in some foreign language. "We had sex, Marie. We had sex without protection. You had sex for the very first time. You want to stick a pin in it? I think we have some shit to discuss, now, not later!" He was angry, OK, I get that. Damage control. But I just stared at him. It hit me between the eyes. I had sex. I had sex with my friend Logan, losing my virginity, and I never even thought of using a condom. I'm an idiot. Big one. Wait! No! Shot in the ass, every three months....what the hell is it called? Depo shot! No little Logan's running around to worry about.
"Logan! It's fine! I'm on birth-control. I started it when I gained control and just figured it was a good thing to stay with, should something happen." I threw back the sheet and started to gather my clothes. I was naked, so it was a little awkward, but I really needed to get out of there. "Besides, I'm not a complete idiot. If I wasn't on something, I would've thought to use a condom." Take that!
"Really?" He actually laughed. I wanted to hit him. "Cause I don't think that you were thinking much of anything through last night. Now you just want to, what? Pretend it didn't happen? No, sorry kid. Not gonna happen. Are you that naïve, Marie? You think that you'll just forget the first time, especially when it was with someone you see everyday?" He looked at me, waiting for my answer. Truth be told, I just couldn't even begin to deal with what happened last night. I wanted to do something Logan should've understood. I wanted to run. Run and hide. But he was looking at me, expecting me to answer him. I just took my fear and confusion and turned it into something I could actually user12;anger.
"Listen up, Logan! I may look naïve, but I'm not. And you, you need to remember that! Yes, I know that I won't forget last night, I just don't want to analyze the shit out of it right now! I want to shower, check on my friend, and get a goddamn cup of coffee! And since when are you all Mr. Concerned, let's talk about our feelings man? You never wanna talk about anything that has to do with feelings. Don't pretend like you would do this normally. I do remember things, Logan. I try not to sift through you're personal stuff in the memories, but I do see glimpses once in awhile. I just want to talk, later, ok?" I finished my tirade, and waited for his reaction. He didn't really have a reaction the whole time I was going off, and he was still unreadable. Finally, after about a minute, he spoke.
"OK. You don't wanna talk right now, fine. That's fine. But know this, kid, we will talk about this sooner rather than later. I have no problem being the way we always have been around each other, so no weirdness on my part to worry about. Now, I'm hungry." He threw back the sheet and got out of bed. "Go grab a shower, and we'll head down to breakfast." He yelled as he closed the bathroom door. Bossy, self-centered jerk. I stuck my tongue out at the bathroom door, and left to go get a shower. Not because he told me to, but because I really wanted one. It was going to be a long day.
When I got back to my room, Jubilee was, thankfully, still down for the count. I quickly went into the bathroom and jumped in the shower. The water was blissfully hot and I stood there, just letting the water wash over my sore, aching body. I felt bad for how I had reacted to Logan. I just didn't know what to do. I was scared, I was confused. What did he want? What did he think about the whole thing? Did he want it to be a one-time thing? Did he want a relationship? Or did he just want to be friends who sometimes fucked? My head was starting to hurt. Sex really did complicate things. I started to understand the allure of one-night stands. No feelings, no messy morning-afters. You could just move on after the physical pleasure, without the emotional pain. Like I said, I never considered myself a masochist. Now, I wasn't so sure. Even after everything, I wanted to just crawl back into Logan's bed and let him do whatever he wanted to me.
I kicked Jubilee out of bed finally and forced her to get ready to go down to breakfast. I had just come out of our bathroom from holding back her hair for the third time when I ran right into Logan's chest.
"Hey, kid. You ready to get something to eat?"
"Yeah, I was just nursing Jubilee's hanging-over ass!"
"I heard that!" Was her muffled response.
"I wish you would hear that! I don't think she's gonna make it down. But we can go. Hey Jubes! I'm heading down! I'll bring up some stuff for you, OK?!" I heard her groan her acknowledgment, and we made our way down to the dining hall.
The mansion's dining hall on a Saturday is a lot like any other school cafeteria: Lots of kids, lots of noise, and general teenage debauchery. Music was playing, people were laughing. The only difference was the quality of the food. I had to admit, we ate good here. Nothing but the best for Xavier's children. Logan and I made our way through the short line and walked to the staff table. Everyone else was already present and accounted for: Scott and Jean directly in front of us, on the end. Storm next to Jean, Kitty and Bobby beside her, and Pyro and John across from them, next to Logan and me. The Professor was always up with the sun, so he had already been and gone. Good Mornings were exchanged all around, and we set to have our breakfast when John's voice reached my ears.
"Is Jubilee still alive and kicking? I went to check on her early this morning, and she didn't look too good." Bastard. I knew what he was doing. He was gonna "innocently" ask where I was early this morning.
"Yeah, John. She'll live. I'm gonna take up some coffee and stuff for her when I'm done eatin'." So far, so good. Maybe he wouldn't say anything.
"Where were you this morning, anyway? Your bed didn't even looked slept in. Care to share with the class, Miss. Rogue?" Dammit, he would say something. Suddenly, I noticed every set of eyes were on me. Even Scott, with his glasses could manage to stare at someone. What was I gonna say? 'Yeah, sure. I got home and went to Logan's room, where he proceeded to fuck me silly, thus, de-virginizing me.' Probably not the way to go. Um....what the hell was I gonna say?!
"Rogue! You there? You look all ashamed and nervous. Don't tell me our little girl was off somewhere becoming a woman." John was smiling from ear to ear, and I realized he knew something was up and wasn't going to let it go. He was like a dog with a bone.
"Now that's none of your business, John Allerdyce." I snapped back at him, my accent thick. Logan's head snapped up at my tone.
"Geez, Rogue, defensive much? You're so uptight. There's nothing wrong with getting laid. You could use a little release. Maybe you'd actually like it." Now he was getting snappy.
"What do you want me to say, John? I have a mutation that sucks the life from people by touching their skin! Sex makes me uncomfortable. Sex...could kill you. Especially with me. Do you know what the human body goes through when you have sex? Pupils dilate, arteries constrict, core temperature rises, heart races, blood pressure skyrockets [Logan is starting to look uncomfortable], respiration becomes rapid and shallow, the brain fires bursts of electrical impulses from nowhere to nowhere and secretions spit out of every gland [Logan is starting to look for an escape route], and the muscles tense and spasm like your're lifting three times your body weight. It's violent, it's ugly, and it's messy, and if God hadn't made it unbelievably fun... the human race would have died out eons ago." At this point, everyone at the table is either choking on their food, or staring at me like I have officially gone totally insane. I think I may have. I saw that little speech on a rerun of a 'House' episode just the other night, and it kinda stuck with me. I just can't believe I actually said it out loud, in front of people. In front of the man I'd lost my virginity to. I began to wonder if, at some point while cleaning my ears, I'd pushed the q-tip in too far and given myself brain damage.
"Umm....Wow. Rogue, I don't even have anything to say to that. Really, I got nothin'." John sat back in his chair, shaking his head. Great. I'd gone so far off the deep end that Mr. 'I -have-an-opinion-about-everything' was speechless. I couldn't even look at Logan. I got up and grabbed my food.
"I'm gonna go check on Jubilee. See ya later." I bolted. I walked as fast as I could until I came to our room. I put the food and coffee down and collapsed on my bed. Then, I did the most ridiculous thing: I started to laugh. I laughed until I cried and my stomach hurt. I laughed so hard, Jubilee ran out of the bathroom thinking I was having some kind of seizure. I couldn't hold it in anymore. I told her the whole damn story. When I'd finished, she just stared at me. Finally, her brain re-engaged.
"All I did was make one little comment." She said, her eyes wide with shock. "Well, sweetie. I just have one question. How was it?" Only Jubes could go from shock to inappropriately nosey in three seconds flat.
"It was...great. Really great. It hurt at first, but then I relaxed and it felt so amazing. I never thought of being with Logan like that. Now, it's all I can think about." I flopped back on my bed and stared at the ceiling. We lived in the same house. It was a big-ass house, but I was bound to run into him eventually. After flying my crazy flag in the middle of breakfast, I was even more unsure of what to say to him.
The Wolverine & Rogue Fanfiction Archive
Barely Legal Since 2000
Author's Chapter Notes:
I watch a lot of Tv. Tv writers are great, and they come up with some good dialogue. I have borrowed some lines from True Blood and House that just seemed to fit in. This is mostly a filler chapter. Promise some good Rogue/Logan scenes next time. Thanks to all who reviewed. I appriciate the suggestions and the encouragement. I will try to keep you happy....
Chapter End Notes:
Now to figure out what will happen when Logan corners Marie for "the talk"....Again, any suggestions are welcome!