It was the first time in a very long time; she had awakened slowly and comfortably. The cotton like fuzzy feel that trapped her mind was pleasant as she opened her eyes and blinked at the rays of sunlight that scattered around Logan’s wood floors. Stretching out her legs, she burrowed her face deeper into the plump pillow and inhaled; the familiar scent of Logan washed over her and made her body hum with excitement.
No hangover was present; no incessant pounding in her head was heard as she relaxed further. The absence of a fever induced sweat from dreams was nonexistent.
She murmured her satisfaction and closed her eyes, but then a warm gloved hand reached up and dragged along her arm and settled firmly over her stomach. She smiled and twinkled her toes in contentment.
Logan leaned over her and buried his nose in her locks of hair.
“How do you feel?” he asked huskily in between a small growl as he inhaled her scent.
Her spine tingled and she pulled her knees up as her back side melded tighter against his body.
“Good.”
His hand lazily caressed her stomach over her t-shirt.
Turning over quickly, she smiled at him and trailed her gloved hand up his chest over the white cotton of his trademark tank top. Resting her head on his chest, she trailed her fingers along the corded muscles of his arms and admired the firm and tanned skin. Her bare leg skimmed across his sweat pant covered legs and she hooked her feet between his warm covered ones. It felt nice.
She felt the heat rise in her cheeks as she thought of the night before and buried her nose in his chest, to stop the small giggle building up in her from escaping. Falling into bed with Logan had been the first thing in a long time that hadn’t required any necessary thought.
It had surprisingly been uncomplicated and to the point, just fucking refreshing. It had felt familiar and safe, despite the fact it had been their first time.
Years of pent up emotion and frustration on both their parts, and energy and anger spent on twisting each other’s words and trying to keep up barriers just seemed like a waste of time now.
She’d told herself, she hadn’t wanted him. That she no longer cared and the words had ringed out through her mind like a constant merry-go-round, a repeated mantra that was supposed to protect her but only ended up infuriating her more, spinning her world more and more off its sturdy axis.
Feeling without words was something new for her, especially with Logan. She never thought she’d ever get to show him with her body what she felt for him.
And she knew for Logan that he never thought he would have been able to express himself with words so easily, as she recalled his whispers between the sheets, of promises and love that made him feel vulnerable at times but he was finally no longer afraid about the intense bond between them and what it meant. She could feel it confirmed with the ease of his relaxed caresses.
Logan’s firm fingers trickled along the small of her back and her spine tingled pleasantly all over. The tingle became a hum of satisfaction as she closed her eyes and recalled the memories that brought the foreign relaxed smile on her face.
They’d made it easily up the stairs towards his room, the mansion quiet and dark as everyone slept waiting for the next day to start while she felt her world starting anew even before dawn approached. Staring along the hallway she spotted her old room down the end and was caught up in an odd feeling of nostalgia that no longer scared her.
“Marie.”
Glancing back at Logan, she saw the hesitation in his eyes as he stood waiting in front of his open door. Smiling warmly she walked past him and eyed his room as he shut the door behind them. The moonlight bathed his familiar room with cool light and exposed the bed.
“You can have the bed and I will...”
She turned around slowly and reached for Logan’s hand and pulled him closer. Where before his suggestion of sleeping separate might have caused her to question herself, she knew he was only trying to remain polite. And somehow that act of politeness only reconfirmed the uncertainty that hung in the air between them. His eyes darted away from hers and she bit her bottom lip to stop herself from full out smiling at the restraint he was showing in trying not to push her into anything. Somehow they’d switched places over the years and Logan’s hesitation only urged her on further. Trailing her fingers up his arm she pulled them closer to the bed.
“No need to be a gentleman, Logan,” she whispered between them and looked up at him with an effortless smirk.
His gaze darted back to hers but her words hadn’t helped in any way to clear the doubt away from his eyes.
Glancing down she fiddled with one of the buttons on his plaid shirt and realized that appearing overly confident was just as much of a lie and only caused him more restraint. Because the new stranger Rogue was overly confident, the Rogue who had lied and worked with Mystique and took off whenever, used bravado to throw everyone else off even if it was a facade to hide behind at times. There was no reason to hide now.
Reaching up, she slowly dragged her gloved hand around his neck and smiled at him with a tilt of her head. And even though his gaze was still closed off no insecurities flared to life inside of her, because she knew he wanted her and she knew he cared. The question of what was next lay in her hands and delicately she knew it wasn’t something to play with.
His fingers tightened on her waist and pulled her closer as his nostrils unconsciously flared. Leaning in she kissed him quickly before her skin could react and dropped down on the bed, pulling him with her. Laying on her back she gazed up at him expectantly, but his feet remained on the floor as he leaned over her.
“Logan,” she whispered breathlessly, her fingers reaching down and caressing his large Indian head belt buckle as she undid it and the button next.
His hand grabbed hers as she pulled the zipper down. His hazel eyes clear with want but his lips remained firm and thin.
“Marie...” he struggled.
She shook her head and shifted up and kissed his side burns, her lips brushing past his ear.
“We both want this Logan, we know that but,” she paused and licked her lips. “This is my choice.”
His hands began to move up her back and she felt the tension ease out of his body.
“Your choice as well.”
His nose trailed down her mane of hair and burrowed into the hollow of her neck.
“We’re both free,” she whispered into the darkness.
Her voice was breathless as she felt the emotion herself, knowing that without a doubt that what she wanted without complication, without worried pride and fear was what they could give each other at this point in time, as the scattered pieces of their lives finally fell into place.
The soft fabric of her scarf trailed along her jaw as Logan brought it up and his lips crashed down on hers suddenly with a frenzied amount of lust and need. His frame leaning over her further as she felt her body sink into the mattress as they both trailed their hands over each other. Ripping his plaid shirt off, she palmed his biceps and his chest over his tank top with adept attention, filled with an urge to explore every inch of him. A growl vibrated between them as his tongue dulled with hers and she arched suddenly as she felt him press himself further against her and in response her legs immediately wrapped around his hips.
“Oh, Logan,” she gasped as his lips trailed along her neck quickly and he bit her suddenly through her shirt along her collar.
Her eyes rolled up and back into her head at the sensation of his tongue darting out and licking the mark affectionately. She rocked against him desperately as his actions became more focused with each grunt and moan that escaped them both.
Slipping her hands under his shirt she trailed them up his firm back harshly and he hissed as her nails made an impact through the thin fabric of her gloves. The feral gleam of lust in his eyes, in return bleed out openly at her actions.
She squirmed against him ecstatically as he overwhelmed her with pleasure, reaching up she trailed her teeth along his jaw with playful nips and his hands grabbed her backside closer as they both lost themselves within the sensation of each other.
“Marie... Jesus,” he gasped.
She smiled playfully and pulled back as he quickly reached for a condom by his bed.
Slowly, one claw slid out from his right knuckle and she waited eagerly, her body humming in sweet anticipation.
Leaning in he kissed her again thoroughly with a feral gleam shinning in his eyes that made the pit of her stomach flip.
“I’ll buy you a new set of pants, darlin’,” he mumbled breathlessly against her lips.
He delicately cut a slit in her pants and underwear.
“No problem, sugah,” she mumbled as she kissed him back quickly. “I was thinking about getting a leather pair anyways.”
A deep growl rose in his chest and she laughed passionately as he nipped at her neck. All the chaotic thoughts vanished as he entered her and she cried out as she felt her senses one by one became numb to the continuing life around them as she centered her world.
“That tickles,” Logan grumbled sleepily, his chest rising and clearing her mind to the present.
Lifting her fingers up from the trail she’d been drawing on his lower hip between his shirt and pants she reached other and squeezed his other hip.
She felt his chest rise again and then his awakened body was suddenly tense.
She sighed. “You’re worried I’m not going to stay.”
Her eyes focused on his open closet doors, oddly focusing on the work boots that lay on their sides as she waited for a response.
“I haven’t really given you a lot of reasons to trust me.”
She sat up with an unattractive snort and faced him in disbelief. His eyes were wide and waiting but the conviction was set in the clenching of his jaw.
“Do you know how ridiculous that sounds?” she huffed, the words catching in her throat as a million things propelled forward in her mind, particularly the fact that she was no saint but Logan appeared ever the martyr.
“You saved my life,” she stated finally, her eyes drawn on the curtains of the sunny window.
“And then I abandoned you,” he replied firmly, his voice lacking any clear emotion.
Gripping the crumbled sheets beside her, she heaved a heavy sigh before resting her head on her knees.
“You think I’m just waiting to repay the favour?” she whispered tiredly.
His hand settled on her back but he made no other movement.
“You mean again.”
She whipped her head around and stared at him in surprise. Her mouth hung open as she wondered why he was trying to pick a fight. But his face remained stoic and passionless and she felt the air around them thicken and she realized he was only doing the right thing by trying to reaffirm the ground they’d come to stand on the night before. Even if she hated his methods.
Turning away, she drew her knees closer to her chest. “I can’t lie and say you didn’t hurt me, Logan.”
“You seemed so far away at times, like a different person, a shadow of who you were.”
“And sometimes it hurt even more to know, that people thought the only reason things weren’t the same between us was because of Jean...she was my friend too, and sometimes Logan, some of us here knew her better than you ever did,” she finished firmly with her chin held high. “And the knowledge that it was your love for Jean that came between us only cheapened our friendship, all of our friendship.”
“I didn’t hate you for loving Jean. I was happy for you in some way, the fact that you found someone you could communicate with like that, make you feel that way even if I didn’t understand it or sometimes want to, even if it hurt me.”
“Marie...” he whispered heavily.
She shook her head and continued. “It was never about that, it was never so superficial.”
“I know that,” he replied.
“But in the end it was just the space I felt, the emptiness. You were trying to be someone you weren’t, going after Jean even though Scott was around; it just didn’t feel like the you in my head.”
“Marie,” he repeated as he reached up and grabbed her chin to face her. “I thought I loved Jean that way, I made myself think she was the reason I found how to feel that way, but it was just a lie.”
He turned away and stared straight ahead. “You made me feel the possibilities of being an actual person again, but you were so young and I didn’t want to understand. I didn’t want to mess it up but I did anyways.”
Leaning over, she rested her head on his shoulder.
“I messed things up too,” she exhaled deeply.
“No, darlin’,” he responded as he shook his head. “You were only protecting yourself.”
She smiled wearily and played with the sheet in front of them.
“I don’t have a lot of regrets,” she began softly. “I don’t know how that makes me sound and I can’t tell you that some part of me wasn’t proud for leaving, for finding out things for myself but...”
“I wasn’t there for you in the end as well.”
He shifted quickly and gazed down at her.
“What are you talkin’ about? You tried, you were the only one who knew what I needed, after – after what I did and even after that I turned you away and...”
“I wasn’t there for any of you,” she interrupted with an odd fond smile and grazed her hand down his neck and over his collar bone.
“Yes I was angry about no one understanding my need for the cure and yes, they were wrong but I was wrong too, I was wrong because I was selfish.”
He grabbed her hand. “No one knows what it’s like to have your power, Marie; they have no right to judge you.”
“I was selfish because I left when I could have been needed. I should have been there. I should have been standing beside you all at the battle.”
He opened his mouth and she leaned up to kiss him suddenly, a quick peck as she pulled back and whispered,
“That is my regret, Logan and I can’t change it but I can give things a chance again.”
Still holding her hand the stern look of his face vanished as he pulled them both back down on the mattress.
“I looked for you, you know.”
She waited for any kind of satisfaction to overtake her, some young foolishness that would take hold of her for knowing Logan had gone searching for her but she only felt a bit of tired remorse.
“I’m sorry.”
He chuckled lightly. “No you’re not.”
“Excuse me?” she sat up again, her mouth wide open, her
eyes alight but Logan only smiled up at her.
“You needed it darlin’, you said so yourself.”
She tried to object but he reached up and yanked affectionately on her white bangs and pulled her back down beside him.
“Next time send a few postcards why don’t you, give me a least some peace of mind.”
Shaking her head playfully she replied, “Maybe you can come along next time.”
“Sounds alright by me.”
Resting in his arms, she revelled in the calmness she felt and the strength she felt beside her and marvelled at the way things could shift so quickly, for better or worse.
“Marie, I just want you to know...”
Lifting a finger she placed it on his lips before he could finish and looked deeply into his warm eyes. “I know,” she replied lightly. “I do too.”
Leaning down, she caught his nipple in her hot mouth through his shirt and he hissed in pleasure. Her eyes were mischievous as she looked up at him.
“Think of yourself as an adventurer, sugah, exploring new found territory,” she paused as she trailed her mouth down along his stomach, her hands kneading the muscled flesh of his arms. “You ain’t one to shy away from such a thrill, now are you?”
Her eyes darted up at him and he simply raised one eyebrow.
The playful look in her eyes traveled down her face and stretched her red lips wide in a smile.
“There’s always a few bumps along the way, but who the hell wants smooth sailing,” she finished with a drawl as her hand skimmed along the edge of his pants.
An eager growl was all the reply she got and the only answer needed.
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