His mornings had a plain routine. He went through the motions. Everyone knew not to talk to him until his first cup of coffee, or maybe even his third. It was just the way things were in a mansion full of kids running around full of the fuel of youth, their voices ringing in his ears like approaching sirens of impending doom. He felt more like a weary old man every time he reached for the coffee maker like it was his salvation. The Wolverine, the mutant with a healing factor was addicted to fine brewed coffee, and it was the good stuff, only the best at Xavier’s. He was getting soft.
Almost two years since the passing of Xavier, Jean and Scott and sometimes it felt like yesterday, but the days he caught his reflection, spotted the caged look in his eyes, the grim set of his lips, and the trim of his hair, it felt like a lifetime ago because he didn’t recognize who he was anymore. Sure the scowl was still a popular expression on his face and he hadn’t taken up wearing pressed shirts like Scooter, but he’d made sacrifices along the way, here and there. Devoting his time to the children, making sure all the classes had teachers, simply so Storm could get a good night sleep or Jubilee didn’t have to drop another college course because more help was needed. He was suddenly a sentimental bastard.
The black of the coffee was the only thing that comforted him. Staring into its depths, he felt he was allowed the moment, maybe two to brood because really, for the rest of the time he wasn’t himself. Brooding was something he knew. He wasn’t some badass who use to follow the road wherever it would take him, who use to cage fight for the money but mostly the thrill. He was Mr. Logan the gym teacher. Although at Xavier’s gym training took on a whole new meaning, so the fact that the gym was stocked with the finest tools of defence and that a lesson or two was often held in the Danger Room, was sometimes enough for him to pretend he hadn’t changed at all. He got to pop the claws in class; he got to growl in the half-pints’ faces who were suppose to be the next heroes of the world. And nobody stopped him and told him he was being cruel, nobody stepped in and said that wasn’t the way things were suppose to be. The three graves that marked the grounds were a reminder to everyone that being a hero had a price.
Being the good guy had its sacrifices as well.
Despite the team meetings and the group lunches, he was alone. When his mind wandered, the thought of hitting the road would creep in, the thought of getting on his bike and leaving behind all these responsibilities would eat at him. Why did he care who was scheduled for dish clean up. He was the fucking Wolverine. But the road only held one thing for him, the never ending search for that one thing that he tried not to think about too much, tried not to use as the explanation for his apathy, because sometimes, when something or someone doesn’t want to be found, it’s just out of your hands.
So that’s why sometimes Logan found himself making his way through the staff kitchen just as dawn was breaking, the blue darkness of the night trying in vain to stay but the effort always futile; much the same, his hope that one morning the routine would break, that he’d finally snap out of it. But when his eyes would land on the coffee maker, he already had the plans for his class that day running through his head. One thought at a time was his new motto, the simpler the better.
This time was the only time he got to feel some resemblance of himself. No one else was usually up. No kids asking for his help. Just him and a cup of coffee. That was his whole world right down to a tee. He was so fucking domesticated; he was surprised he hadn’t donned one of Scott’s old robes.
Standing by the large glass windows of the kitchen, he blinked at the rising sun in the distance and allowed himself to sigh only once before taking a gulp from his cup. The hot liquid ran through his body quickly and he felt the constant weariness that seemed to follow him in the past two years dull a bit as the caffeine jolted his body. His gaze focused on the woods of the grounds and he refused to acknowledge there was a time that was all he needed, that he was a bare minimum kind of guy. The cup in his hand was the reminder nonetheless that his survival skills came down to a fine brewed dark liquid. Any way to get through the day and the day after that. Because good guys had responsibilities. Good guys don’t run away.
No they just hide; a voice rang in his head. One more gulp of coffee and the thought was gone; his mind on whether or not the new mats had come in for the gym.
He blinked once and then twice again. The sun was almost up in the sky but that wasn’t what had his attention. The small black object that was falling from the sky at an alarming rate was enough to jolt him out of his reverie. Squinting, he leaned forward. It moved to fast for a bird. Too small for a plane.
Before he could analyze it any further. The object crashed into the shed located on the grounds, the roof collapsing immediately. A large cloud of dust, earth and smoke billowing up around it’s destroyed remains. The sound of the crash, he thought he imagined it, but it rang throughout the grounds like a large sonic wave. He even felt the ground below him vibrate. Glancing in shock at the sound of a clatter beside him, in watched in awe as the cup of coffee on the table vibrated with aftershocks.
He’d put his coffee down at some point. His jaw opening slightly, he ignored the concerned shouts coming from the floor above him, his eyes back out on the shed. After a moment of hesitation, he quickly turned on his feet and headed for the patio door.
His coffee behind him forgotten. Suddenly, Logan wasn’t sure if he felt apprehension or the flaring of a small thrill because abruptly his routine had been broken. He was about to find out if he was able to deal with the consequences. Because rule number one for survival at Xavier’s as Mr. Logan the Gym Teacher was never break the routine.
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Story Notes:
This story incorporates certain plots and concepts from the comics and the cartoons but takes place in the movieverse.