It had been a few months now, a few months that had come and gone in a dizzying array of colors, scents, touches, heartbeats, and passionate kisses. But the passion was fading, though the world around her was still over-bright, like a sunny day after weeks of clouds and rain, or like a warm day after months of bundling against the cold. It had actually been years waiting for a warm day in her case, even if it hadn't been the cold that kept her bundled up.
Marie stared out the window and blinked at the expanse of color dazzlingly spread out in a floral carpet truly wondrous to behold, but the only reaction she could muster was a sigh of regret. She was going to have to bundle up again. She knew it. The tingling shocks and pinpricks of irritation that happened whenever Bobby touched her were not due to his growing affections for Kitty. Her skin was waking, growing restless, and knawing at the restraints the so-called 'mutant cure' had shackled it with. She would be dangerous again within months, perhaps days, or maybe even hours.
She didn't know how to live with that.
The temptation was to go out with a bang, give Bobby the one thing he had never requested, but had always hinted for, something Kitty was not as restrained to offer, it seemed.
It wasn't that Marie was a prude - far from it - but years of living with her mutation had instilled a very well-founded fear: she brought death with the most innocent of touches. And the months that followed her shot made her both drunk with the smallest of hugs and pats she received from the children, and scared of the freedom she now possessed.
Before, she had her skin to say 'no' for her, making any choices she had mentally decided a moot point. Now she was so used to the 'no,' it was hard to say 'yes,' especially when she could tell the tides of love were turning. Bobby wasn't saying he wouldn't stay with her if she didn't go all the way with him; he would never be so crude. Still his eyes held doubt every time she held back and she was becoming frustrated. She couldn't explain how her newfound sexuality had been crushed in one fell swoop one day when she put a boy in a coma for months with one little kiss, making it hard for her to jump right back into a game she had never learned to play, one that Kitty, even with her innocence, was infinitely more equipped to handle.
"Kid, you busy?"
Marie's head swung up quickly, and she smiled to herself when her heart rate trebled for the next few seconds. Logan always held that reaction for her; she had never outgrown that first crush.
"Want to help me?" he asked with careful neutrality.
She nodded and rose, walking to the door with little energy even though she was curious to find out what he would need anyone's help for.
He held out a hand and she, surprised, took it, marveling at the warmth of his touch as he led her out of the library and through the rest of the school.
Logan had been one of the two she had not touched yet. Ororo had been the other, given how she felt about Marie's decision to change her life. Would the woman still be so stand-offish when her mutation came back, Marie wondered. It would be an awkward situation at best. As for Logan, she had the feeling her talk with him had muddied the waters of their friendship. Whether he had backed out of her life to make way for Bobby, despite the advice he had given her or maybe because of it, or she had backed away from him to make sure Bobby would understand she wanted what she could have and not what she dreamed of, Marie found hard to decide. Whatever the reason, she had regretted the separation - Logan was a friend she missed dearly.
They arrived at the garage, and Logan let go of her hand to walk between the lines of vehicles and open the doors leading out to the drive beyond.
"Scott used to take care of all of these machines," he explained hesitantly. "No one's been changing the oil, checking the tires, or even washing them."
The awkward silence that followed was broken when she smiled softly at him.
"Ah'd be honored to help you get them back in shape. Was Ah your first choice, though?" she asked with a quirk of her eyebrow.
He grinned, something he rarely did with anyone else. "Yep. You looked down. Thought maybe you could use a little change of pace."
They spent the next few hours with him patiently explaining tire gauges, fluid levels, oil pans, filters, and all other manner of simple maintenance to her. Finally it came to the washing part, something she didn't have to learn, though she had mastered everything else he had taught her that afternoon. Indeed, she couldn't quite keep the grin off her face as they worked side by side, sometimes touching and sometimes not, both relaxed in their ways with no pressure to perform anything unnecessary. It was….wonderful.
A spray of water backfired on her, reflected back to her from an oddly shaped car mirror, and she felt her wet tank top cling heavily to her chest. She laughed aloud and shot the car once more in order to feel the cool spray come back to her, relieving the heat of the overhead sun in a humorous way. If she was condemned to bundle up later, she was damned if she wouldn't have some fun first.
Logan's head appeared on the other side of the hood just as she picked up a bucket full of suds and slung it at the car just to see how many bubbles she could make. An all-out war ensued with her ending up laughing her head off with the hose shooting down the back of her shirt and Logan's free arm and legs wrapped around her securely, bending her backward over the trunk of the car.
He was soaking wet, too. His legs were now encased in jeans that revealed his every muscle, and his chest and arms were fully exposed, since Marie had drenched his shirt and he had promptly pulled it off and thrown it at her in retribution.
"What is with you?" he growled into her ear as he continued to make sure she was as soaked as he was.
"Ah'm…" she began, and then she looked into his eyes and lost it, laughing hysterically until she began to hiccup sobs.
Instantly he left her to shut off the water, then returned with two towels, making sure she was taken care of and seated on the upturned bucket before he sat beside her on the drive and started toweling off.
"Go on," he reminded her, his concern showing in his furrowed brow.
"Ah'm losing it," she said, sighing as she realized it was true in more ways than one.
"Bobby?" he asked, cocking his head in an alert way that made it clear he would rectify the situation if needed.
"No, not just that," she said quickly, shaking her head, "though that's part of it. Ah'm losing my cure. My skin - it's coming back. Ah don't know how long Ah'll be normal." Tears threatened to spill down her cheeks. "Ah don't want to go back to what Ah was."
For a moment he was silent, studying her with a keen gaze, but still remaining carefully neutral. "It could be a side effect," he finally offered. "Might not mean anything. But even if your mutation's coming back, it's not the end of the world." And he reached out and took her hand without hesitation. "You'll be okay."
Watching his thumb rub gently over her knuckles, she bit her lip and realized he was right. "Ah'm getting overly dramatic about it, Ah guess. Ah shouldn't panic, but Ah feel like Ah'm in some kind of race to make sure Ah feel everything Ah can until it's taken away from me."
Now there was a definite change in attitude as Logan's face grew dark with anger. "You don't have to rush into anything you don't want to."
She smiled and gripped his hand before he could pull it away. "For someone who claims he's not my father, you sure do have a streak of protective about you. Ah'm not going anywhere Ah don't want to go, Logan. Don't worry."
He growled a little more, but settled down, going back to caressing her knuckles again, much to her relief. For a long time, they simply sat there, towels forgotten as the sun slowly dried them and the trees rustled their leaves in a small, delicious breeze that lifted her spirits. The sun, the breeze, the friend nearby - these things she could keep no matter what happened. She may not always have this opportunity to touch, she thought, chancing a glance at the strong hand that still held hers, but she had it now. And for now, it was enough.
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Story Notes:
Written per a request from a friend.