October had come to the mansion and a rash of practical jokes ensued. Salt shakers that suddenly dumped their contents, frozen toilet seats, pens that contained melted ink barrels, and sudden rushes of cold water during a hot shower were just some of the pranks that had occurred. Most of the victims had been teachers so suspicions were on the rise.
As Halloween drew closer, it became evident to the pranksters that one potential victim always managed to evade the traps, whether from dumb luck or sheer skill they couldn't tell. Their sites were set and so was the date: Halloween, or "D-day" (D standing for dirty-low-down-trick). The conference on strategy was held in the media room.
"We are gathered here to put together a plot to snare our former survival teacher in a web of treachery," intoned Bobby. Kleenex and paper balls were promptly thrown his way. "Hey! Cut that out!"
"If you want to be serious, let's cut to the chase. He's not going to be easy to fool. He caught on to us pretty quick when we tried to find out about his past, no?" Remy yawned and cracked his knuckles. "I think we need help from a higher source."
"If you mean call in the women," said St. John. "I agree. No one has a more devious mind than Jubilee."
"You said it, smoky," agreed Samuel. "I say we bring in the heavy hitters."
And so the 'heavy hitters' were called in.
"First we have to find out what he is doing on Halloween. Then we need to come up with an idea that isn't going to get us killed. I suggest something more along the lines of a prank, rather than a scare." Kitty was making the checklist. Everyone nodded at the last entry. All of them remembered that night on the beach when Logan had told them what had been done to him and they knew there were things in Logan's past that would scare the crap out of anyone. Humor was needed and would be appreciated by their teacher, or so they hoped.
"We should find out about Halloween after our next self defense lesson," said Jubilee, "And we all know who should ask him."
All eyes went to Rogue. She blushed. "Now wait just a cotton-picking minute…"
"Come on, chica," wheedled Jubilee. "We all know he has a soft spot in his heart for you."
"He has a soft spot for all of us, I think. It is the sweet spot that is reserved for Rogue," mused Remy.
"Some soft spot. I still have bruises from two days ago," laughed Bobby.
"We all volunteered for those bruising sessions," said Samuel, who couldn't help but laugh, too.
Logan's former survival class students had begged, pleaded, and cajoled Xavier into letting them help out the X-Men cause. Since most of them were taking collegiate courses and furthering their studies, Xavier put some of them in charge of lab work with younger students. All had expressed a willingness to protect the mansion when the team was off on a mission and Charles had called in Logan to teach them self-defense. Even Scott had shown interest in the course and had shown up a few times to take notes.
During the classes, Logan was as tough and as demanding of their attention as ever. He never played favorites and was as hard on one person as he was on all. After the classes, though, the others had noticed that Rogue was the one his eyes lingered on the most and she was the one who could talk him into doing things with them. She had put up with some teasing until Logan found out about it and faced them all down with a glare that dared any questions. Since he had always treated them as adults, they decided to act like adults and accepted the little romance, making no more mention of it, at least not within Logan's hearing.
Eyes still on her, Marie agreed to see of she could find out what he was going to be doing that night.
"Ok, that was better. Next time remember to tuck and roll so that you come up in a good position to either defend or attack. Don't forget to leave yourself options. Throw the unexpected at your opponent. Keep 'em guessing."
"That's all well and good to remember now, but what if I'm facing something huge like Sabertooth?" Jubilee was gasping for breath and becoming discouraged at her lack of progress in strength. She had been working out more to try to increase her ability to throw punches and kicks but found it was not getting her where she thought she should be.
"Don't forget your background, Jubilee. You know gymnastics. Use it to your advantage." Logan looked around for an example.
Scott, Jean, and Ororo were observing, today. He walked up to Ororo and pointed to the beautiful silk scarf gracing her shoulders.
"Mind if I borrow that?"
Curious, she slipped off the pin that held it in place and offered the gauzy material to him. He looked around the training room and spotted one of the swords in the weapons rack. Quickly fetching it, he walked back over to the group.
"Which of these objects is a weapon?"
"Whichever one you're holding," came Bobby's quick reply.
Logan allowed himself a grin. "Then, since I'm holding them both, they both must be weapons."
Several jaws dropped.
"Hard as steel and soft as silk, that's how you fight. Scott, help me demonstrate. Anytime you punch or kick, make sure to get a good, hard connection. Think of it as hitting your opponent with a rod of steel. But don't forget how powerful silk can be. Here, you hold this."
Scott was thankful he had been given the sword. That is until Logan disarmed him using a nifty trick with the scarf and then managed to wrap it around his throat.
"Ok. Let's try it without the props. Throw a punch."
Scott complied and Logan pulled the punch past his own body, throwing Scott off balance. Then Logan wrapped him up with a wrestling maneuver that left little doubt as to who had won the match.
"Jubilee, you don't have to meet any attack from someone else head on. You have enough balance and agility to use someone else's motion against them. Think of this scarf. It can distract, move in any direction, and be hard to get hold of. Just don't forget to throw a punch as hard as you can and as fast as you can when you can." He handed Ororo back her scarf and she appraised it with new eyes. "In the next three classes, we'll have Mr. Summers demonstrate some different techniques that I can only coach you on." He helped Scott up off the mat.
The class erupted in questions that ended with Kitty's. "What kind of a demonstration can Mr. Summers do that you can't do?"
Logan cocked an eyebrow at her and looked at Scott, who grinned. " Anyone care to guess?"
They thought furiously. Any person who could answer one of Logan's 'guess' questions was entitled to a pizza.
Marie sensed the opportunity to get Logan alone and jumped at it. "You can't use your mutation against someone as a weapon."
"Right. As far as I know, I've never healed anyone to death. Score one pizza for Rogue."
"What about your, um, claws?" asked Kitty. She hated to bring it up, but wanted to know.
Logan was silent for a moment. "They were given to me. I don't believe they are part of my mutation."
"I'm sorry," Kitty whispered.
Logan gently lifted her lowered chin. "Not a problem."
The class disbursed, with Marie staying behind to claim her pizza and to ask what Logan was doing for Halloween.
She entered her dorm room and promptly fell on the bed, face down. The others, who had eaten their lunch in the cafeteria, were waiting for her and laughed. She looked up.
"Ah'm stuffed. Ah swear that man has learned how to cook the meanest pizza in town."
"The one he made me last week was fantastic," sighed Samuel, who was a pizza expert, having sampled everything the mall and fast food delivery could offer. "If he cooked nothing else but that, he'd still be a hero in my eyes."
"That is all he can cook, besides camp food, of course," giggled Jubilee. Then she got serious. "What's the verdict?"
"Oh!" Marie sat up quickly and delivered the dirt. "He's going to be here all alone with us! Ms. Munroe and Professor McCoy are taking the younger kids to the Halloween party at the normal school twenty miles away. Logan said McCoy should win the best costume this year for a teacher."
"What's his costume?" asked Bobby.
Marie busted out laughing. "The monster Sully from the "Monsters, Inc." movie! That's not all. Professor Xavier has a date with an old friend and Mr. Summers and Dr. Grey are going out on the town for some dinner and dancing."
"What's Logan going to do?" asked Remy.
"He said he was going to kick back, smoke a cigar or two, and read a good book. I told him he could join us for our all night monster movie marathon in the media room, but he said he didn't really care for those kinds of movies."
"I was hoping he would say that. Now, how shall we get him?" Jubilee could be quite bloodthirsty at times.
The discussion lasted until dinner.
Halloween had come at last. Decorations adorned the mansion and the students going to the dance down the road were decked out in the most outlandish costumes they could think of. Some of them, as in Hank's case, were augmented by mutation. He looked adorable as Sully and, with Ororo draped on his arm dressed as Buffy, the Vampire Slayer, he looked quite pleased with himself.
Scott, in a black leather costume with a trench coat to match, had placed a set of red devil's horns in his hair which, combined with the red glow of his optics, gave him a decidedly devilish look. An angel in the form of Jean in a slinky little white dress complete with halo accompanied him out the door.
Finally Charles, wearing one of his best suits, left with an extremely handsome woman in her fifties. The lack of verbal conversation between them clued everyone to the fact that she must be a telepath, too.
This left the cohorts and their victim alone for the next few hours. Logan met them in the kitchen, where they were raiding the refrigerator and cupboard for movie munchies. He took in the quantity of food they were gathering and just shook his head, snorting softly. He headed out the door for a check of the grounds. They waited in the hall outside the library until they heard the kitchen door open and close. Logan peered around the corner and heard what appeared to be a discussion of whether or not they had enough snacks. He grabbed a beer and a few pretzels and headed toward his room.
"Night, Logan. Sure you won't join us?" said Jubilee in an extremely pleasant tone that earned her an elbow jab in the back.
"Not if I can help it." Logan growled in reply and rolled his eyes as he left their sight.
They proceeded to the media room and started a movie.
"Ok. Give him twenty minutes to get settled in with a book. Let's get the stuff," Kitty whispered.
From hiding places, they retrieved a bag of rose petals, cans of silly string, and a bucket of confetti.
"Everybody ready?" Bobby asked. Rogue and Kitty nodded and held up their radio and the bag of petals. St. John, Samuel, and Remy held up the silly string, the bucket, and their radio. Bobby looked at Jubilee and she handed him their radio freeing her hands for the light show. "Let's go," he said and they headed for the door.
Ten minutes later, everyone was in position. They kept the radio traffic to short whispers and crept around in sock feet, so as not to alert their prey. Bobby keyed his radio.
"Kitty?"
"In position."
"Remy?"
"Oui. Us, too."
"Check him, Kitty."
Kitty and Rogue were in the room above Logan's. She phased out and peeked through the floor to see where Logan was in the room. Her head came back up quickly and she gave a surprised look Rogue's way. Grabbing her gloved hand in a vice-like grip, Kitty phased Rogue and pulled her down so she could see, too. They both came up with blank looks. Kitty keyed the radio.
"Hold on. Something's wrong. We're coming down. Close in on his room, he's not in it."
Breathlessly the two young women made it to the doorway shortly after all the others arrived. They all saw what Kitty and Rogue had seen. Logan's door had been crushed inward as if some great force had beaten it down with one blow. Some of the furniture was overturned and the faint trace of three parallel cuts was seen in one of the walls. The most ominous sight was the huge pool of blood on the rug near the center of the room. Bloody tracks led from the center of the room out into the hall where they became too faint to see.
The questions and comments came out fast and furiously.
"He just checked the grounds!"
"What could take him down that fast?"
"How could something have gotten in?"
"Why didn't we hear anything?"
"He would have smelled an intruder."
"How badly do you think he's hurt?"
"Where is he now?"
"Where is the intruder now?"
"Wait," called out Bobby. "We're panicking. What do we really know?"
"Something else is in the mansion besides us and Logan."
"Logan has been hurt."
Bobby looked around. "Anything else?"
Remy, who had knelt by the tracks, glanced up. "These do not look like human tracks."
Marie held up another clue she found near the bloody rug. "His attacker wasn't human." They inspected the sheared off piece of metal in her trembling hand. "There are only a few more pieces. He must have been taken by surprise."
"He had to have been taken away. If he had been left, he would either still be here or he would have followed after he recovered." Jubilee was one of the best detectives they had. "We would have seen his bloody footprints, too, but they aren't here."
"He would have healed by now, no?" Remy looked at Rogue. "Could something stop him from healing? He would be fine now, right?"
Marie started to answer but suddenly remembered the trip he had taken with Scott a few weeks before which had ended with Logan in a coma for four days. "Damn! That trip with Scott might have taken more out of him than we thought."
Bobby nodded. "I forgot all about that. Ok, we have some work to do. The kids will be back soon and we can't let anything happen to them. We can't help Logan until we get rid of whatever did this. Any suggestions?"
"Ah'm not convinced this came in from the outside." Marie studied the metal in her hand. "Logan checked the grounds not forty minutes ago and the security alarms never went off. Kitty and Ah should check out the Danger Room. There are a lot of machines in there for training that are designed to attack. What if one of them went haywire?"
"Good point." Bobby said. "Alright, let's see if we can take care of this on our own. Cannonball, you and Gambit check entrances and exits. Jubilee, Pyro, and I will head in the direction of this trail and see where it might lead. Try to avoid whatever it is, at least until we can all tackle it together. We'll meet back here in fifteen minutes"
Fifteen minutes later, they had a few more answers.
Bobby started off. "Without a clear trail to follow, we couldn't really determine where it went, but several possibilities lead right back down this corridor, so we might be able to set a trap for it right here."
Samuel followed with, "The doors are locked and none seem to be forced." Remy nodded.
"We found out what it is," said Kitty. She looked at Rogue.
"It's one of the trainers, for sure. There's one missing. Now here's the strange part. They are either controlled by the computer, or by remote control and there's a remote missing."
Jubilee's eyes started to gleam. "Someone's controlling it. What if we aren't the only ones playing a prank tonight? Would Logan really do this to us? Or would someone else?"
"Logan's the only other person here," Marie's voice trailed off. He wouldn't, would he?
Metallic booms sounded from somewhere fairly close.
"It's coming. I could take its head off with a card or two. Is that where the remote signal comes in?" Remy looked at Rogue.
"Ah think the receiver is closer to the midsection. My mutation won't work against it and Ah'm not going to try dropping it with a kick."
"Mine will. I can ice its feet to the floor. Gambit, take its head off anyway. Don't those things have lasers?"
Jubilee piped in, "I can blind it first and you can ice it down, Iceman. Can you freeze it hard enough to break the metal?"
"I'm still working on that trick," came the reply.
"Then I'll break it in half," growled Samuel.
"Good. Pyro, you're our last line of defense in case something goes wrong. Heat up the midsection and try to fry that receiver." Bobby turned to Kitty and Rogue. "Shadowcat, if we can't stop it, phase both of you out of here and get word to Storm and Beast. This could be a prank, but what if it isn't?"
They all took their positions and waited as the footsteps grew louder. When the huge mechanical trainer rounded the corner, they braced themselves. It came closer and closer, not seeming to see the hidden students.
"Now!"
Globules of light fired straight for its optics, causing the machine to stop. Ice flooded the floor and rooted its feet down. Three deadly playing cards whirled through the air and took its head off with a neat series of explosions and a human, moving with the velocity and power capable of tunneling through solid rock, tore through its midsection, shredding the metal to pieces. What was left of the trainer crashed to the floor with a mighty thud. Silence ensued.
A door at the end of the corridor where linens were kept cracked open and out came Scott and Jean. The students stood in shock as Scott appraised the demise of one of his best pieces of equipment.
He glared up at them. "You didn't have to tear it to pieces!"
They glared back. "So it was a prank!"
A noise at the other end of the corridor caught everyone's attention. Deep and melodic, it filled the air. Everyone stood still. Logan, for the first time anyone could recall, was laughing. He came closer and relaxed his forearms, retracting the claws. He was soaking wet and was wearing a very small towel around his waist, leaving almost nothing to the imagination. Kitty promptly blushed. Most tried to look away but couldn't. Marie smiled and didn't even try.
Logan looked down at the trainer and looked back up at Scott. "So, you finally got them back for the toilet seat, huh? I'd say it's DRT and you owe me twenty bucks." He turned and noticed the door to his room. "Alright. What the hell happened to my room?" He snarled, this time looking at the students. They all pointed to Scott.
Jean, who had finally taken her eyes off the towel, began to giggle. "Now Logan…"
"Now Logan, nothin', Miss 'Why don't you spend some time in the whirlpool tonight?'." His eyes narrowed back on Scott. "You are going to clean that up, aren't you?" His voice left little room for doubt.
Scott began to break down in hysterics as the humor of the situation hit him. "Of course. At least I now know I'm leaving the mansion in pretty good hands during missions." He tried to stop laughing so he could truly congratulate the team effort. "I really am proud of you guys."
The students looked at each other and began to laugh themselves.
"What does DRT mean and why do you owe Logan?" Bobby asked Scott, who was hugging Jean and still chuckling.
Logan took a sniff toward his room. "Karo syrup and food coloring? Let me guess, you used fake blood to scare them. DRT, ladies and gentlemen means 'dead right there' and he owes me because I bet him you could handle anything he could throw at you." He turned and walked back down the hall. "My room had better be spotless when I get back, Scott."
"Grab a bigger towel next time," called Jean as she took in the girls' appreciative glances at his retreating form.
Without missing a step, Logan pulled off the towel and began to dry his hair. "You're lucky I took the time to grab anything at all." He rounded the corner and was gone.
The Wolverine & Rogue Fanfiction Archive
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Story Notes:
Hope you enjoy this little bit of fun. This time I really let it all hang out in the end.