She was awake, but she kept her eyelids closed. She wasn’t supposed to be here, but she was hoping that he wouldn’t notice. She heard the gentle chime of his tags and the creak of the floor under his weight. She felt the mattress shift and the heat radiating from his tired, anxious body. The hair on her neck arose.
“You know, kid, you’re really bad at pretending to be asleep,” he whispered. The skin that his breath reached lit afire.
“I’m sorry… I really did fall asleep earlier. I guess I lost track of time. I’ll go.” She scooted toward the edge of the bed, but he planted a firm grip on her arm.
“No, something’s troubling you. You’re afraid, I can smell it.”
“It’s nothing. Just the same thing as earlier. I’m bitching because I’m normal,” she desperately tried to make a joke. He pulled her back toward him, even closer this time. He leaned his chin against the crook of her neck and held her tightly around the waist.
“Kid, I think I get what you’re going through. And I don’t agree with the way Ro’s treating you, but you can’t let it get to you. This place is where you belong. Things will get better.” He reached up and twisted her streak of white hair between his fingers. “Trust me.”
Her heart pounded. She was so close to him, and it was wrong. Friends weren’t supposed to hold each other the way he held her. He allowed her to invade his senses. He couldn’t fight his instinct. He wanted revenge. He wanted to save her. He wanted to fuck her. He wanted to love her. He didn’t want to hurt her, yet he wanted to consume her. He wanted her to know that she was his. He was aroused and disgusted and terrified.
He made himself back off, and he tried to put as much frigidity into his words as possible. “You have to leave, now.”
His words surprised her, and she was assailed by shame and discomfort. “I-…I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” She quickly made her way toward the door, anger welling up inside her chest.
“Wait…” his command was quiet. “Come here.”
“So you can tell me to leave again?” she hissed.
“Just come here.” She gingerly approached the bed and climbed across the duvet, keeping a distance between their bodies. “Kid, there’s something I need you to know.”
She cringed at the word “kid” and prepared herself for the worst.
“You’re not safe.”
“What does that mean? You said that earlier. So what does it mean?”
“It means, you need to stay away from me.”
“Why?” She knew her affinity for that word was childish, but she was so used to saying it that she felt out of control.
“Because…” he looked her directly in the eyes, “I might hurt you.”
She was confused and frightened by his tone. There was fierceness to his dark eyes that she had never seen before. “I don’t understand.”
“Exactly,” he sighed. “You don’t.”
Her temper flared. “Then make me! Tell me what the hell you’re talking about, Logan. You’re scaring me.”
He rolled on top of her and pinned her hands above her head. “What’s mine is mine.” Realizing that he was being too rough, he released his clutch and rubbed the bruised flesh soothingly. “Sometimes, I can’t take care of my things…”
Her breath was so short and strained that she was nearly gasping for air. “Your things? You don’t own me, Logan…” She fought her way from his grasp, and tried to push him away. “Let me go… Let me go!”
He seized her wrists and trapped her with a kiss. She squirmed beneath him, and a cold tear rolled across her temple and tickled her ear. He freed her, almost maniacally saying, “I don’t want to hurt you…”
She felt so betrayed. The man lying next to her was brutal and ugly, an animal. She felt lost, and she reached out, “Logan…”
He brushed her off. “Leave.”
She stifled the urge to scream in frustration. “Logan, why are you doing this to me?”
“Because I liked it,” he replied, completely void of emotion. “You’re just a kid, and I destroyed you and I liked it. But it’s despicable, and Jesus Christ, it’s killing me inside…”
She suddenly understood. “Logan… I wanted it. You didn’t force me to do anything.”
“I should’ve told you to go back to bed,” he rationalized.
“Why?”
“Because…it’s not right.”
“Why?”
“Because…” he barked.
“Because you thought you wouldn’t feel anything? Because you wanted to be in control? You actually enjoyed it, and for some reason, that gives you an excuse to treat me like shit?”
“Look, you may be 18,” he argued, “but I’m a helluva lot older than you, kid.”
“Fuck you, Logan.”
“You did, and now that’s the problem.”
She glared at him. “I’m not a child! And you’re involved in this, too, Logan. Maybe you should accept some responsibility and we’ll move on. You think you’re such a mystery, and you pride yourself on being different. But you know what? I’ve got you all figured out. It’s just hit me—everything is so clear now!”
“You don’t know anything about me!” he growled.
“No, you don’t know anything about you! You want to be able to just take anything, to have anything, but you don’t want to owe anybody! I don’t need you, Logan! I didn’t come to you with any expectations! I just wanted somebody to touch me, and I knew you would. So stop acting like I’m some smitten lovesick puppy dog. You don’t have to let me down easy or put me out of my misery!”
“Keep your voice down,” he scolded.
“No! I’ve been quiet for too long. And now I know what I have to do.” She stormed out of the room and slammed the heavy mahogany door behind her. A framed painting of Central Park crashes to the floor.
His claws shred through his knuckles and he impales the mattress.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Disclaimer: The X-Men and their likenesses belong to Marvel and Fox, not me.
I switched this one to omniscient POV because it fit better :)
I switched this one to omniscient POV because it fit better :)