Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Ouch. Bright fluorescent lights.
“Ah, Rogue! I’m glad to see that you’re awake.” You’re blue. “Of course, you are still disoriented. You have been through a great ordeal. You need your rest.” How does he know what I’m thinking? “I’m going to check your vitals. I apologize in advance; this might sting a little.” I don’t feel anything. “Hmmm, that’s odd. Let me try again.” What’s going on? “This is most irregular… Unless, of course! How could I have neglected that? You absorbed Ms. Marvel’s power; therefore, you assumed her resistance to physical harm. That would constitute ordinary needles, I suppose. Very well, then. We shall work around this, Rogue. Oh, don’t mind me. You must think me a fool, the way I’m babbling on!”
Ms. Marvel? Is that me? What’s going on? Why am I even in here? What happened to me? “My goodness, you look like you’ve seen a ghost! No, no, don’t move. Lie down.”
No! I don’t want to lie down! I feel like I’ve been lying down for days. My bones are so sore. Why? Somebody tell me what the hell is going on! “Rogue, calm down! You’re safe!” Keep your blue paws off me, Bub. “Rogue, you need to relax; your heart rate is off the charts. You have nothing to be afraid of!”
Where’s my voice? “Who are you?”
“I’m Dr. Hank McCoy. Please, Rogue, lie down.”
“Where am I?”
“You are in the mansion of Charles Xavier. Your name is Rogue; you’re a mutant.” Charles Xavier. I remember him, but not...
“I’m not a mutant.” Don’t be ashamed of your kind. But, it’s not my kind. “I’m not a mutant!”
“Yes, Rogue, you are. You’re very powerful and very dangerous. Tell me, what can you remember, Rogue? And, please, just lie down…”
“J’en ai marre! I’ll get on that table when I’m good and ready, Furball. Now, do you mind getting out of my way?” How uncivilized. “Charles has a very bad habit of teaching his students to meddle in my business.”
“Rogue, what on Earth-…?” No. No. No. Not again.
“Hank? Hank…it’s me. Carol. You have to help me! You have to get this…this girl out of my head. Help me! These things that I see and remember, they’re not mine. No, they’re mine. She’s in my head, and she won’t go away. No, those memories are mine and you stole them from me, just like you stole my power. Leave me alone!” Why are you staring at me? Stop looking at me! “STOP IT!”
“Oh my… “
******************************************
Logan growled and rolled over in his bed. “Turn the damn light off, Storm! I’m trying to sleep!”
“Logan, you’ve been milking this for all it’s worth. You haven’t been out of your room for three days, except to go downstairs and eat. Or visit the med lab.” She opened the thick forest green drapes hastily, relishing Logan’s scowl. “Have you forgotten that you are a member of the faculty?”
“I ain’t a teacher,” Logan protested.
“You can pretend all you want, but I know you enjoy this place. Dare I say it…we’re like family to you?” Storm grinned and tugged Logan’s toes through his sheet.
“Don’t push it, Monroe.”
“C’mon, Logan. Get up. It’s almost noon! You are supposed to be teaching physical education to our students, and if you lie around like a tree stump, you’re not setting a very good example.” She scooped his jeans off of the coat rack and hurled them toward his head. “Believe it or not, the kids are asking about you. Now, get up and get dressed. The Professor expects you to join him for lunch.”
Indignantly, Logan showered and poured his tired muscles into a t-shirt and sweatpants. He decided that he was a little hungry, but he was going to take a detour on the way to meet Professor Xavier. As the crescent door to the elevator rolled shut, Logan took a deep breath. The night that they had brought Rogue back to the mansion, Tessa used her abilities to help Logan and Gambit regain consciousness. The Professor managed to convince him that Gambit was loyal to the X-Men, but after hearing him describe his interaction with Rogue, Logan wanted to rip the Cajun’s eyeballs out. He had earned her trust and her heart, and he betrayed them. Logan knew that he was no better, but it still made his blood boil to know that someone else had hurt her. She was his, and knowing that for six months, dirty, worthless men were ogling her creamy skin and luscious curves made him sick to his stomach. They threw money at her, but she was invaluable.
During the months that Rogue was gone, Logan tried not to think about what had happened between them. He deluged himself with maintenance work around the mansion, repairing windows, doors, and wires. When he couldn’t find anything else to fix, he resorted to breaking things at night in fits of rage and excruciating remorse. Sullenly, he endured the idle time between lessons, stealing glances at the parkway and perking his ears up at the distant sound of passing cars, entirely inaudible to the other residents. He knew that was what Rogue went through, and it irritated him that the tables had turned.
The most he was willing to own up to was that he owed her a whole lot of apologies. But, he wouldn’t let anyone know the depths to which he missed her. She was an enigmatic balance of innocence and raw sexuality, and he was completely enthralled. He felt sick and twisted for thinking about how good and tight she was, and hearing her whisper his name gave him chills. Normally, Wolverine didn’t give a damn about hearsay and the consequences of his insatiable lust, but he had shirked a very sensitive boundary.
As soon as the elevator reached the lower levels, Logan heard the screams. Marie. He darted toward the infirmary and found Dr. McCoy staring helplessly at the girl before him, baffled by her incoherence. She appeared to be having an argument with several people, none of who were perceptible.
“Logan, I…I-I…I don’t know what to do! I underestimated this entire situation. She has been outright traumatized, and I don’t know how to fix it. She won’t let anyone near her, and she’s manifesting you, Magneto, and Carol Danvers with no rhyme or reason. For pity’s sake, she’s speaking French! Maybe you can calm her down. I’m going to get Charles. Right now, he’s the only hope for her.” Hank departed from the sickbay at once, leaving Logan alone with a hysterical Rogue.
Logan had no idea how to reason with her. His heart felt like it was being shredded slowly and painfully. She embodied utter pandemonium in her tangled mane, bloodshot eyes, and sickly skin. The gray sweatshirt and pants that adorned her frail body looked ten sizes too big. In the bright lighting of the lab, he noticed the bruises on her face and neck for the first time. He vowed that when he found out who tarnished her like that, he was going to kill them. Secretly, he hoped it was that damn Cajun. Logan crouched next to her and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. She shrieked and scuttled out of his reach.
“Relax, kid. I ain’t gonna hurt you…” He recalled the first moments they had ever spent together; when he found out she was just like him—a mutant. He felt an instant connection to her, and it had never left.
“Don’t touch me! Stop it… Stop it…”
“Kid, just calm down.” Despite her protests, he sequestered her upper arms and lifted her onto the exam table. “Marie, look at me. Look at me!”
Awareness seeped into her gaze, and her sniveling stopped abruptly. “Logan?”
His thick eyebrows gathered, and he nodded. “Yeah, kid, yeah, that’s me.”
“Kid?” She tossed her head back and laughed richly. “I never objected to your pet names, Logan, but ‘kid’? I can’t imagine you growling that one into my neck." She found composure and whispered, "Shhhhh, don’t let them hear.”
Logan narrowed his eyes. “Carol?”
“You know, Logan, I get the feeling that all of those sweet little nothings you promised me so many times were just reckless words from a lonely man,” she leered. “First, you stab me right through the heart—which, incidentally, is something you’re very good at. Then, you seem rather displeased that I survived. Really, Logan, I thought we had something.”
“That was a long time ago,” he snarled. “You’re a frigid bitch, now.”
“Haven’t you heard?” She snorted and mockingly adopted a stern expression. “I’ve been the victim of identity theft. I’m desperately trying to reclaim what I’ve lost.”
Logan tightened his grip. “Where’s Rogue?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Logan.” She wrapped her legs tightly around his waist, purring at his instant animal response. “But, that hurts. Brushing me off so quickly when we’ve got so much catching up to do.”
“Dammit, Carol, don’t play games with me!”
“Games?” She rolled her eyes and snaked her arms around his neck, pouting. “This is hardly my idea of fun.” She pulled him dangerously close to her lips. “I don’t know where your little doe-eyed protégé is, but I’m right here.”
“No, you’re not. This body, this is Rogue! You’re just a visitor, and you’re overstaying your welcome, darlin’.”
“That’s her fault! She destroyed my life, Logan. Why are you on her side?” she hissed.
“It was an accident. She wouldn’t hurt anyone.”
“She was with Mystique, Logan. Obviously she’s working for the Brotherhood.”
“Why don’t you let me talk to her about that, huh?”
She chuckled contemptuously. “You can’t just flick a switch and turn me off.”
It took every ounce of discipline within to bar himself from fucking the smirk off of her face. But, Logan growled and unpinned her legs from his hips. “Believe me, I’m going to find a way.”
The grand steel door to the lab slid open and Professor Xavier appeared, followed by Hank and Tessa. Rogue shook her head, as if to clear her mind, and disgust was plastered across her face. She drew back from Logan and shoved him forcefully into a tray of vials, needles, scissors, and scalpels. She turned toward her latest company. A loaded smile curled the corners of her mouth and she cheerfully hailed, “Charles! It has been too long, old friend.”
She hopped off of the metal slab and kneeled to his level, resting her palms on the limbs of his chair. The glee faded from her eyes. “There’s no use reading my mind. You already know what’s inside. You know that you have failed her, as you failed Jean.” There was that mental switch again. “I need a drink...”
The Professor studied her for a moment. “I shall require solitude,” he motioned for the others to leave.
“What are you doing?” Logan extracted a blade from his ribcage.
“I am going to assess her condition.” Growing bored, Rogue stood and began pacing the room, muttering to herself. “I trust that you will not question my methods, this time.”
Logan nodded in agreement. “If you can cage that beast,” he motioned toward Rogue, who had ruptured into a fit of manic laughter, “then more power to you, Chuck. Whatever that is over there, it ain’t my Rogue.” He filed out of the room right behind Tessa and Dr. McCoy.
**********************************************
Logan shoved a forkful of mashed potatoes into his mouth and gulped down half of his glass of iced tea. He carelessly clanked his utensils against the china dinner plate, inhaling his meal boisterously. He was oblivious to the stares from the other inhabitants of the staff’s dining room. Students knew it only as that, but all the members of the X-men team ate at the table every night. There were two empty chairs, one on Logan's right and the other belonging to Professor Xavier. Between bites, he grumpily eyed the unused place settings and the clock. It was 6:15 already, and there was still no word from the Professor about Rogue.
Storm cleared her throat and dabbed her lips with her cloth napkin. “Um, Logan? Is there something bothering you?”
He snapped his head in her direction, as if he had just awoken from a trance. He scowled. “No. Why?” He took another sated bite of meat and vegetables.
“You’re just…uncharacteristically quiet this evening, more than usual.” She sipped from her water glass. “You seem restless.”
“I’m fine,” he barked.
“I think what Storm’s politely trying to tell you is that you’re being obnoxious,” Scott interpolated, tearing a small chunk from a piece of French bread.
“Scott,” Storm warned.
“Here we go again,” Jubilee rolled her eyes, reaching across the table for the saltshaker. Everyone held their breath for the usual testosterone laden tussle of insults between Cyclops and Wolverine, but Logan simply grunted in annoyance.
“Wow,” Scott cocked his eyebrows. “No ‘I’ll shove those glasses up your ass’ or ‘I could accidentally kill you when I sleepwalk, asshole’?” This has got to be a first.”
The well-known hum of the Professor’s wheelchair pervaded the room. Quietly, he took his place at the table, and a butler served him a plate of piping hot beef medallions, potatoes, and squash. An additional portion was set obliquely to his left. Rogue appeared a short time later, exhaustion and apprehension visible in her movement. Her hair was still damp from a shower, and she wore a new pair of sweats. She averted her gaze to the floor and sat in the empty seat next to Logan. No one spoke, and the silence was tense. Bobby and Jubilee exchanged calculating glances, Kitty nervously swirled the ice-cubes in her soda, and Tessa pushed her glasses up to the bridge of her nose.
Logan looked questioningly at the Professor, and he smiled back with an eloquent twinkle in his dark pupils. You and Erik and Remy will fade within days, but it will take time for Carol to regress. I trust you to protect her, Logan. This will be a very taxing process. Logan nodded and turned to Rogue. Her hands were folded in her lap, not out of etiquette, but to keep them from trembling as much as the rest of her body. Logan grabbed her empty glass and filled it with tea. She reached for it as soon as he set it next to her salad plate, but her unsteady fingers slipped, and the crystal cup tipped over. The amber liquid soaked into the linen tablecloth, and she witlessly fumbled for a napkin to clean up the mess. Her breathing became stressed and shallow, and she swallowed repetitively to keep from erupting into a hysterical mess.
“Hey, kid, it’s alright!” Logan struggled to mollify her and track down a towel at the same time. Without hesitation, he laid a reassuring hand on her abnormally skeletal shoulder blade, a minimal gesture that sent her over the edge. She tore away from his touch, leaping up from the chair. She massaged her forehead and coiled her fingers.
“I…I can’t do this!” She fled the room, and Logan stood to run after her.
“Don’t,” Charles stated firmly. “She has had a difficult afternoon. Leave her be.”
“She needs to be here with us! She needs to know that she’s still welcome here!” Logan argued.
“She is not ready to wholly rejoin us, Logan. All of you need to understand that.” He made eye contact with each person at the table. “Rogue has been changed, altered in a manner that is irrevocable. For the rest of her life, she will be subject to attributes and memories that do not belong to her and that shall never fade. I ask that you disregard the means by which she acquired these traits, and instead, offer her a home and a family. She has made mistakes, but so have you and I.”
Logan grumbled in defeat and eagerly took the towel that Hank offered him. He mopped up the tea, scooped the ice chips into his hand, and dumped them back into the glass. Taking one for the team, Kitty asked, “So…what exactly happened to her?”
All eyes probed the Professor for a response, but he finished chewing before he answered. “From what I have discerned, Rogue was under the impression that Mystique was going to simply talk to Carol Danvers, albeit the plan was less than diplomatic. Mystique underestimated Carol, and Rogue was pulled into the conflict. It seems that the stress of the situation triggered her mutation. The exchange with Carol was not intentional.”
“So it was an accident,” Bobby reflected, out loud.
Logan angrily slammed his hands down, leaning against the table. “What the hell made you doubt that?”
“Nothing!” Bobby shrugged.
“What, did all of you think she’d turned to the ‘dark side’ just because of him?” Logan’s beady eyes shot daggers in Bobby’s direction.
“Jesus Christ, Logan,” Scott glowered. “Sit down and shut up!”
“Don’t play the peacekeeper card, Scooter! Maybe if you all hadn’t treated her like a fucking outcast, this would’ve never happened.”
“Logan, that is not true!” Storm piped in, forcefully. “She left because she felt she had to. She felt that she had no choice. It wasn’t as if I could just put my foot down and ignore that she’s an adult.”
“You didn’t stop her the night she left to get the cure,” Jubilee blurted out, regretting it immediately. Logan looked like he was about to chop her into fertilizer. “I wasn’t spying on you or anything, so don’t get all mad. I was coming down the stairs and I stopped when I saw that you were talking. I didn’t hear anything. I just saw that she had her bag. Then she left and you didn’t go after her, so I figured she had your blessing.”
Gambit had been a specter throughout the meal, and his mellifluous New Orleans twang caught everyone by surprise. “I never thought you’d be much of a cowboy, Wolfman, but you’re sittin’ mighty high up on your horse there. What Remy knows, Remy won’t tell, but you ain’t above suspicion.”
Logan rose to his full height and cracked his knuckles. “You got something to say, Froglegs, then say it. The way I see it, you’re a double-crossing thorn in my side, and I don’t trust you one goddamn bit.”
“Enough!” Charles demanded. “It accomplishes nothing to try and dispense blame. We now have a common goal, and we must move forward. I will not tolerate a civil war in my house.”
A cumbersome tension ruined the elegant and tranquil ambiance of the dining room. “I don’t need this,” Logan snorted. Tossing a death glare at Cyclops, he strode arrogantly from the gathering.
“Good riddance,” Kitty mumbled under her breath.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Disclaimer: The X-men and their likenesses belong to Marvel comics and 20th Century Fox, not me.
The chapter titles belong to Sarah Mclachlan songs, because I can relate all of her lyrics to Rogan :)
The chapter titles belong to Sarah Mclachlan songs, because I can relate all of her lyrics to Rogan :)