Once back at the mansion, Logan led Rogue out to the woods. She knew he hated talking about his feelings. It really wasn’t his strong point anyway, but she also knew he needed this. He needed someone to listen to him and give him comfort, whether he denied it all later or not. That’s one thing about Logan. He would never admit to talking about his feelings except to Rogue.
They came to a small creek that had a fallen tree laying nearby. Rogue sat down on it, watching the water. She didn’t want to push Logan. He would talk in his own time. The water was clear enough for her to see the muddy bottom. She felt Logan sit next to her, closer than she was used to, but she didn’t pull away. Rogue leaned into his body heat, which made their shoulders touch. It was silent except for the chirp of birds and the quiet gurgle of the creek.
“I killed her,” Logan said. Rogue turned her head and stared at him. His words almost seemed to echo in the quiet forest even though he had said them almost in a whisper. Logan didn’t look at her. He kept his eyes forward, darting back and forth between the trees. “Told her I loved her, then I killed her. She begged me to do it,” Logan said, his voice wavering, “I was the only one who could.”
Rogue opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. To be honest, she didn’t know what to say. Sorry didn’t seem like it was enough to try and help ease his pain. She wrapped an arm around Logan’s arm closest to her and pulled that hand into her lap. He looked down at his hand when Rogue interlaced her fingers with his, then his eyes traveled to her face. Rogue gazed right back at him, sympathy written clearly on her face. He squeezed her hand a little, sighing, then looked away again. “I didn’t want to do it. I almost thought I couldn’t.” He paused for a long moment. “Then I thought about you and all the other students here. If I let Jean… Phoenix live, it’d be the end of everyone here, and it’d be my fault.”
“We wouldn’t have blamed you, Logan. I mean, you loved her. It has to be hard to end the life of the person you care about most,” Rogue said.
“See Marie, that’s the thing. She isn’t the person I care about most. I realized that when I killed Jean. If it had been… you… in Jean’s place, I couldn’t have done it.”
Rogue stared at him, shocked by his words. She knew he cared, but she never knew he cared more about her than he did Jean. “What?”
“I loved Jean and I cared a lot about her, but you were always on the top of my list. You changed the way I lived, Marie. For fifteen years, I fought, got drunk and slept with any woman that was willing. Then you hid in my trailer and turned that all upside down for me. You made me want to change, kid. You made me want to care and to want a place to come back to.” Rogue looked down at his hand that was still in her lap. Logan pulled his hand away from her only to wrap that arm around her shoulders and pull her into a hug. Rogue turned towards him a little more, wrapping her arms around his chest, tucking her head under his chin. He placed a gentle kiss on the top of her head, sighing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rogue sat on Jubilee’s desk chair, lost in thought. Logan cared more about her than he ever did about Jean. It wasn’t a declaration of love, but it still made Rogue feel happy. The fact Logan had to kill Jean didn’t, but just the fact that she was the most important person in her life almost made her skin hum. It was then she realized Jubilee was waving a hand in front of her face.
“Heelloo! Earth to Roguey! Can you hear me,” Jubilee asked.
“Sorry Jubes. Got a lot on my mind,” Rogue replied.
Jubilee gave her a smirk and wiggled her eyebrows. “Thinking about Wolfman, aren’t ya? I bet he looks amazing naked too.”
Rogue looked up at Jubilee and smiled slightly. “I’m sure he does, but that’s not exactly what I was thinking about.”
“Oooh… you were thinking about him half naked on a stripper pole then?”
Rogue burst out laughing. “No! I did /not/ need that image in my head.”
“Oh come on chica. You know you’d like to see it.”
“That’s beside the point.”
Jubilee rolled her eyes and popped the ever present gum in her mouth. Rogue smiled at her friend, shaking her head. Jubilee knew her a little too well. Sure, Rogue wanted Logan, but she knew he didn’t want her in the same way. She was his kid sister, his friend. Their relationship would never be anything more than platonic. Rogue could handle that. As long as Logan was in her life, she’d be happy.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Oui... sorry it took so long again. Been hectic around here... horse shows and all kinds of things.
Chapter End Notes:
I don't really know where to go from here. Ugh writers block! Too many stories going on at once! lol If you could make some suggestions, I'd really appreciate. Leave a comment if you'd like.