Author's Notes:
"If I'm not over you by the time I get to Georgia
Then I guess I'll be Alabama bound
There was a time when I'd do anything for you
But this time, baby, I won't turn around"
--"Georgia" by Carolyn Dawn Johnson
She pulled away, turned on her heels, and let the door slam shut behind her before he could even blink. So he was left standing there to stare at the harsh fading white paint.
She had left him; she was gone. The feel of her soft lips was fading fast from his cheek, even as his fingers sought to hold the sweet sensation there. His heart froze and his brain was in a distant haze as the last few seconds raced through his mind. She was gone, she had left him - and it was all his fault. When the sound of her fading footsteps was truly gone, panic rose up and he quickly made his way to follow her.
She had to leave him. There was no other way that this could end. It was a final bitter ending to this bubbling embarrassment of a foolish little girl's dream. So she had to ended it all, here and now.And she did, she ended it. It was more than he had the decency to do. It would be so much easier to forget without him right there in front of her. It would be easier to live and breathe without his presence being a constant reminder of all that she could have had. She tried to take off his necklace but its clasp would not give so she broke the chain and tossed it over her shoulder; one of the many things broken today. Her fingers itched to pick it back up so she shoved her hands into her pockets and forged on.
"I'll be back for this," he told her. I will be back for you, was what he implied. How tightly she held on to those little words he never said, to the only promise he would ever give her. It would be the only one he ever kept.
She knew that eventually he would leave. He always did when things got too intense for him. He would stand at the door with his voice soft and his eyes pleading, asking for an understanding that he was too bullheaded to give himself. He would smile, brush the hair from her eyes, let his fingers linger on her cheek - and she would then in turn melt and break. She would do anything he asked of her; she would understand every failure and forgive every stare, dismiss all the missed birthdays and take all the pain until she choked on it. But she could not wait for him to leave this time, to be stuck with the memories. So as soon as everything was said, she grabbed her purse, not even bothering to grab her stuff from their room. This life she had lived was dead; she had no use for any little trinket to remind her of him.
The door slammed behind her, he may have even said something else, but it was drowned out by the pull of the north wind and the siren call of the sea. He might have even chased after her a ways but even the mighty Wolverine was not as fast as her '65 smooth red machine, her baby.
That glittered and shined in the bright red sun the day she set her eyes on her little dream machine. It was cheap and a fixer-upper, with one horrible paint job, but she loved a challenge. He had laughed as she pulled into the drive with the top down and the engine sputtering. But she worked on it night and day, made it shine, made it purr and roar. He watched her work on it from the shadows in the corner, first with a frown and then a smile. He had even driven the first test run and laughed as she leaned back into the wind with the top down and screamed at the cars passing her, not noticing until later that night the oil fingerprints surrounding her chin.
She did, though, see his face looking back at her in the rear view mirror, so she tore it off and threw it back at him. His eyes were pleading and his face was wet but that only pushed her faster out of the gate. He had no right to cry. Only she could cry and she was so tired of doing that - she had been doing it for far too long.
She spun around in front of the mirror smiling softly as the sliver dress managed to hug every single curve. The hem was dangerously high but then this was one risky move and tonight it was either all or nothing. All of this was for him and the look in his eyes when he walked in the door told her he knew it. She giggled and he growled. It was the beginning of everything.
She had stayed at the damn place past her time, when all her friends had moved on and grown up. She had been held back by the need to hear that little four-letter word. The one that came so easily from every mouth but his, the only one that mattered. Now she was chased to the city limits by the only word that seemed to leave his lips anymore. The one she was so fucking tired of hearing.
"I am sorry, so sorry." His voice echoed down the hall for all to hear, not that she cared because they all knew. Some had even tried to warn her, but she being the fool she was, she thought that maybe this time it was different. That maybe she was different than the rest. He must have been the one that was different. Different than the hero she imagined and the man she dreamed of making her future with. In his every movement he had tried to hide it. She saw the strain in his neck, the careful precision in his steps, but she had shrugged it all off. Only a spontaneous kiss, one so quick he could barely feel the sting of her poison, had revealed to her the truth. One little kiss had shattered her world. He had never promised love, but she thought that was only a technicality, an opening bid to start the game. If she had only known that it was never an option she might have...
She might never have given hers. He might have known she could never settle for less.
But still his pleading voice and pleading words haunted her steps. "I am sorry, so sorry."
And then so soft she must have imagined it, "Don't go."
Hindsight was 20/20 in her world and her time machine had broken apart years ago, so she drove on past his denials and promises to try.
He would try? He would try to love her. What a foolish thought. And one so innocent that she thought only she was capable of having it. Love could not be forced; it could not be suffered through. It had to be embraced and cherished or it died. She would die if she stayed there with him, knowing every second that the look in his eyes wasn't love, but lust and need. She was his crutch, his helper, his nightlight in the dark - never his love. Maybe she could have been more if she could have waited any longer, but she had waited so long already, while time was speeding past her and he was a man that may never die. Would she be one of his many regrets as the dust fell at the end of the world? Or maybe she had already been moved up to that status. Maybe he had realized all that he was losing in the moment she turned her back on him. Maybe in that one moment she was so much more to him.
That hope sent her back to the state line, but his lasts words turned her right back around. `I' m sorry' bounced around the caverns of her soul and sent her sprinting into the night sky. As she made her u-turn on the highway hope flew out the window leaving her only with pain that she knew she had to kill. And an emptiness she sought to deny.
The mountains were tall and cold surrounded by never ending forests and carried the sound of mournful cries that tore at her heart. The Great Lakes weren't much better, they were so calm and she was restless, being chased by ghosts and memories. The bayou held different memories. She passed them by in a blur.
Texas was big and endless, full of every landscape she had ever dreamed possible. She rolled over hills, stumbled back down mountains, climbed through forests, wandered plains full of Indian Paintbrushes, splashed in little creeks, and stared up at cement castles. The desert could be painted every color but forgetfulness and the nights were so bitterly cold. Bright city lights shown a beacon on her past and the loud music scene of Austin could only cloud her brain for a breath. So she drove down the coast, wadding her feet in the impatient sea, finally trapped.
The gulls above laughed at her defeat and the blue herons squawked in despair, watching the horizon with a wary eye. The sand pipers slowly disappeared as their feeding grounds were infested with dancing shadows brought on by the rising sun. Her tears mixed so easily, too easily, with the ocean's blood, making a bitter brew as she fought for one last chance to escape in the ocean's waves -but gave up as they pushed her back to the shore and back to him. She cursed the ocean and turned around to look at him.
"You tired of running yet?" he whispered, wrapping a blanket around her shoulders.
"Stop it please. I am so tired of being chased, please just stop." she replied, her tears lost in salty cotton and sand.
"Never. I'll chase you anywhere. I'll chase you to the ends of the earth and back if you make me."
"Why? Why, why, why, why?" Burrowing her sorrow into his neck, letting the words fade to nothingness.
"Guess," he whispered again, catching her off guard this time with a kiss. He laughed gently as she pulled away, confused.
And then she started to cry all over again. Maybe hope wasn't such a bad thing after all.
End
The Wolverine & Rogue Fanfiction Archive
Barely Legal Since 2000
Story Notes:
The inspiration for this came from really wanting to write about my home, the beach, and from hearing this country song `Georgia' by Carolyn Dawn Johnson. Oh and by popular demand when polled, it has been given a happy ending as opposed to a sad tragic ending, and Devil Doll told me not to kill of Rogue so then the other ending was gone so be happy it all works out in the end. Beta: jj