The months rolled by swiftly, and Rogue found herself growing closer to her former teacher and leader. It started slowly, a movie here, dinner there. Just the two of them until she was more comfortable with bigger crowds. She was able to start doing things with the others, hanging out and training. It became clear that, although they were kept in the same facility, Rogue had advanced much further than the rest of them with her training. Of course she had. It wouldn’t do to have a commander who was equal to her unit.
Scott watched her grow and blossom, all the while aware of just how dangerous she could be if provoked. She was more animal now than before, more aware and much more serious. She still didn’t joke like she used to, and, even though she had begun to sit with the others, she hardly participated in their conversations, only given short, clipped answer. She was more intent on just listening to her friends.
He asked her about this once, when they were coming back from dinner in the city. Although she was more open to others, she still enjoyed the time they shared alone. It was when she seemed to be more comfortable with herself. And so they would set aside a day each week when they would both be able to disappear for a couple of hours without being noticed. If Scott had a mission, then he would make up for it as soon as he returned.
“I’m really happy with how you’ve been doing,” Scott began as they pulled out of the parking lot of the diner they had just left. “But, I was wondering, why don’t you have more input with the others? You usually can hold up a conversation pretty well when it’s just us. Why not with them?”
“They’ve changed, also,” Rogue pointed out quickly, taking the topic off of herself. Scott was beginning to notice that she was getting really good at that. “Look at Jubilee. She’s calmed down a great deal, you know. I remember what it was like before, how loud she could be. She’s more serious. And Kitty. Hell, she’s finally come out of her shell. She says what’s on her mind now. She doesn’t keep her emotions bottled in. Piotr is more compassionate. I didn’t think that was possible, but it is. Bobby is finding out who he is instead of trying to become your clone. John’s not so mean to the younger kids anymore, either. They don’t have to remember. They don’t have any marks or scars that reminded them of what happened.”
“So it took them being put through hell to make them better?” Scott inclined.
“Not the best way, but it is the most efficient, isn’t it?” Rogue replied, her voice dry. “But to answer your question, I don’t really relate to them anymore. They’ve been able to put what happened to us behind them and move on with their lives. They’re different, yes. Of course something like that would change them. They still have nightmares, of course, and they have scars. But nightmares can be easily forgotten in the day light and scars can be covered and will eventually fade. They can forget long enough to go on with their lives. Even with Charles and his therapy sessions, they have made remarkable progress in the last six months.”
“But what about your progress? I mean, you’re going through the same sessions. You’re still hiding, Rogue. When is it your turn to get better?” Scott asked as he drove through the gates of the mansion.
“I just have too much holding me back,” she replied softly as they pulled into the garage and parked. “Too many people in my head and no way to remind myself that it’s not me. I can’t trust my own emotions anymore, Scott. Can’t trust what I’m thinking because, in some way, it might be tied to one of the people surviving up there.”
“What about flying? I thought you really enjoyed that.” Scott commented thoughtfully, trying to give her some leverage as he turned off the car. He made no move to get out, instead watching her closely, wanting to continue the conversation.
“Yeah, I do, but even that is due more to Carol than myself. You have to remember, Scott. I got that from her, any emotions concerning flying came from her. To be honest, I used to be afraid of flying.” She smiled a little reluctantly. “I had never been on a plane until you found us in Canada. I remember clutching the arm rest to my seat so hard that I thought I was going to break it.”
Scott thought for a moment, contemplating all the things he knew about her. All the information she had told him of her days before her mutation developed. Suddenly, an idea came to him. “Let’s go for a ride,” he said before starting the ignition again.
~*~*~*~*~*~
It was another 20 minutes before he parked the car again. This time, they were in front of a small lake surrounded by treed. Rogue noted the large tire swing hanging over the water from a large spruce with anticipation.
“It’s warm enough for a swim,” Scott mentioned as he undid his seatbelt and opened his door.
He jumped out before she answered, heading down to the lake. She followed slowly, a little reluctant. It had been a long time since she had been in the water, since before the kidnapping. And only a handful of times before that due to her mutation.
“I don’t have a suit with me,” she said stubbornly as he carefully removed his socks and shoes.
“So go in your underwear,” he shot back as he unbuttoned his jeans.
She watched as he stripped down to his boxer-briefs, diving into the water. She couldn’t resist the sudden memories of swimming in the lakes around her home that were floating to the front of her mind as e swam out to the middle of the water. She grinned slowly as she reached for the hem of her shirt. What the hell, right?
~*~*~*~*~*~
They swam like children, splashing each other and diving. He waited until she was comfortable in the water before racing back to the car to retrieve his goggles. Then, when she wasn’t paying attention, he dove into the water, swimming up under her and launching her across the water, laughing as she fell wildly.
He watched her climb the tree holding the tire swing expertly, smiling as she made her way across the branch and dove expertly. He stopped laughing a few seconds later when she grabbed onto one of his legs and pulled him under, causing him to swallow a good amount of the water.
He came back up to find that she had swam a few feet away, obviously enjoying herself. She smiled at him, beckoning him to do something.
But it was growing late, and they would have to dry off before getting back into the car. Without a word, Rogue and Scott swam for the shore together, both smiling like children, neither wanting the night to end, but knew that it would have to.
They sat next to each other in the grass along the beach, watching the moon rise higher above them. Scott had to admit to himself that he couldn’t remember the last time he had so much fun. Rogue contemplated how she could have let herself forget.
“I think we both needed this,” Scott said, breaking the comfortable silence. “It’s good to just be able to forget every once in awhile. To just be yourself.”
“How did you find out about this place?” Rogue asked wistfully, lying back in the grass and gazing up at the sky. “It’s pretty isolated, isn’t it?”
“Actually, Xavier owns these lands. It’s used to be used as a retreat, but we haven’t used it in years. There is a cabin hidden in the trees. It’s been well taken care of, but, things have been so hectic lately, that I haven’t thought about it,” Scott replied with a shrug. He gazed at her for the first time, and he felt his heart leap.
The way the moon shined down on her made the white is her hair shine brightly, giving her face an angelic air. Her lips were moist and full, inviting. Part of him wanted to just lean over and kiss her, but he didn’t know how she would react. He didn’t want to break the bond they had worked so hard to build, but what if she wanted it, too?
“Rogue?”
“Hmmm?” She asked languidly. She sat up slowly, hearing the warmth in his voice. She knew what was going to happen, knew what he was going to do. She wasn’t sure if she didn’t want him to do it.
Scott didn’t think about it any longer. Only leaned over and kissed her softly at first. When she responded, the kiss became more urgent, more hungry. He let his tongue taste her lips, felt her mouth open in respond. The kiss grew deeper and it was a long moment before they broke apart.
Rogue gasped, not realizing that it could be like that. She hadn’t been kissed like that before. Not even the few seconds she had shared with Cody before her mutation had kicked in. But, she had to admit, there was something wrong with it, something off. She couldn’t quite put her finger on it, but she knew that it wasn’t what she always wanted.
“I shouldn’t have…” Scott said quickly, seeing the regret in her eyes. “That was…”
“Don’t say it,” she replied softly, laying her head on his shoulder. “Don’t call that a mistake. It wasn’t. It… just think of it as a learning experience. It was inevitable. We know now. We’re not what we both want. We’ll just chalk it up as… as an experiment.”
“This is going to change everything, isn’t it?” Scott asked. He didn’t look at her, only glanced up at the stars.
“No. Not if we let it,” Rogue replied with a sigh. “We’re both adults, Scott. We can get past this. We don’t have to let it change anything unless we want to.”
“I guess your right.” He watched the moon for a moment before speaking again. “You ready to go home?”
“Yeah. I think it’s time. Thank you for this. It’s just what I needed.”
She threw one last forlorn look at the lake as they pulled away. She promised herself that she would return again soon, whether or not she had someone to go with her.
~*~*~*~*~*~
By the time they arrived at the mansion, the tension was gone. They were laughing like old friends, and Rogue had to admit to herself that she hadn’t felt so good in too long. They slowly got out of the car, laughing over some story he had told her about his childhood. But something caught her eye and she abruptly stopped. She didn’t want to believe it was true, but there it was, staring at her in the face.
It wasn’t as perfect as it was the last time she had seen it. There were a couple of dents now, and it was dirty. She chrome didn’t shine as bright, but it looked well loved. It had been five years since she had seen it, but she couldn’t forget how it looked as it was driven away. The presence of the bike could only mean one thing. Logan was home.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
“Don’t say it,” she replied softly, laying her head on his shoulder. “Don’t call that a mistake. It wasn’t. It… just think of it as a learning experience. It was inevitable. We know now. We’re not what we both want. We’ll just chalk it up as… as an experiment.”
Chapter End Notes:
Logan's back... I don't know where I am going to go from here. If anyone has any suggestions, please let me know!!!