He placed the food on the nightstand by her bed, feeling her gaze on him, even though she appeared to be in grossed in the book she was reading.
Three weeks had passed since their rescue, and while the others were beginning to open up about their endeavors, everyone could see that it seemed as if Rogue was only retreating further and further into herself. During the first week, she had made an effort to get back into her old life, accompanying the others to meals, training, and what ever activities Xavier scheduled for them to help them ease back into civilization. But, gradually, she stopped. First, it was the training lessons, and then the activities. No body asked her about it, though. No body pushed the issue. But now she was skipping meals. Xavier was growing more worried, and he couldn’t help but notice that the others were beginning to withdraw in the same way, almost as if they were following her example.
Scott decided it was time to do something, time to push Rogue back into the real world, before they lost them all.
“What do you want?” She asked, her voice almost too low for him to hear. They way she said it, it was so different from the Rogue he remembered fondly. There was no more southern sweetness, although she still carried her accent, no more bubbly enthusiasm. Even the tone was different. Harsher, more dangerous. He felt a ripple of fear run through his spine as he realized that he just might be caught in the lion’s den.
“Brought you some food. Haven’t seen you for awhile, and I thought you could use some company,” he shrugged as he took a seat on the bed next to her. Upon returning, all six of the former students were given their own private rooms in the teachers wings. Yet, while it was common to find the Kitty in Jubilee’s room and the boys crashing on Piotr’s floor, it seemed Rogue was the only one who was able to cope with the solitude. Scott wasn’t sure if that was such a good thing. “Good book?”
“Not really, but it was all that I could find,” Rogue replied, not taking her eyes off the words that Scott firmly believed she wasn’t really looking at.
“‘POW-83?’” Scott asked, reading the title off of the spine of the book. “I didn’t even think that we had that one in the library.”
“We don’t. I bought it off of the internet. Over night express.” He hadn’t realized that she had received a package. He would have to look further into that. She placed her book down on the bed, looking up at him angrily. “Get to the point.”
“Why are you reading that?” He asked, dodging her question quickly. He wanted to connect with her, to let her know that she wasn’t alone. That he was going to be here whether or not she thought she needed him.
“I wanted to see if there was someone out there who had gone through something even remotely similar to what I’ve been through. Someone who might have understood.” She paused, glancing at the book beside her. “So far, I am sorely disappointed.”
“What about the others? Bobby or Kit…”
“Not even close.” She cut him off coldly. “And I would rather they didn’t know. They have enough to deal with themselves without having to know what I was forced to do. I don’t want to belittle their torture.”
“What happened to you in there?” Scott asked softly, not fully understanding. “How do you know what they were forced to do?”
“I know because I had to watch,” she replied, her voice full of venom, her eyes shrouded by hate.
“Will you tell me about it?” He asked as he noticed for the first time the absence of her gloves.
“Yes, someday. Will you tell me why Jean is no longer sleeping in your bed or wearing your ring?” He didn’t appreciate how she countered on him with something so painful. But he understood. How could he ask about something so personal if he wasn’t willing to share something in return?
“I didn’t think anyone had noticed,” he said with a sad chuckle.
“We’ve noticed. You would be surprised what the six of us can see without you realizing it. How in tune we have become with our surroundings.” She flashed him a smile that was both beautiful and disturbing. It was almost frightening. “Make me a deal. When you’re ready to tell me what happened between you and Jean, I’ll tell you about my experiences. An eye for an eye.”
He thought for a moment, weighing his options. If this was what it would take to get her to open up, he would be willing. “Sounds fair, but I have a feeling you may already know.”
“I have a theory, but, really, what do any of us know?” Her tone was ominous, as if she already knew much more about many more things than just the sour turn his relationship had taken during her absence.
“Why don’t we start now, then?” He asked, letting his shoulders slouch a little. “Jean couldn’t set a date.”
“I refused to spill information they sorely needed,” she replied with pride. “More?”
“Not yet. How about over lunch tomorrow? We can eat up here, away from everyone else. Until your ready.” He made the suggestion easily, but he was aware of how obvious he was being.
“Or until we have both shared things we don’t want anyone else hearing.” She raised her right eyebrow at him, suggesting exactly what he had been thinking.
“I refused to be molded into what she thought she wanted,” he continued, offering his little secret as an agreement.
“Funny, so did I.” She smiled again, but, this time, the smile was a little more playful, a little more like the ones he remembered.
He got up, ready to walk away. They would continue there conversation tomorrow, and, he had a feeling that it would last a long time. He paused at the door, turning to look at her. “I didn’t want to give up the fight.”
She laughed a little, surprising him. “I couldn’t be broken.”
He left the conversation at that, retreating to his room where he would lay awake for hours, pondering the secrets he would soon share.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
“I wanted to see if there was someone out there who had gone through something even remotely similar to what I’ve been through. Someone who might have understood.” She paused, glancing at the book beside her. “So far, I am sorely disappointed.”