She found a calmness filling her soul as she looked out across the swift hills and valleys of Ireland before her gaze. In the last week or so since she had arrived, she had grown accustomed to the noises and echoes of this new world. The land itself seemed to sing of a fresher existence than the one she left behind.
“G’morning, Hannah.” The voice game from around the corner of the large house. She smiled easily at it. Old Tom Connolly was the grounds care taker and had spent the better part of the week worming his way into her good graces. “It’s a pleasant day, isn’t it?”
“Beautiful, I’d say. What are you working on today, Mr. Connolly?”
“Now, Lass, I’ve asked you time and again to call me Tom. I’ll have to through you over my knee if you don’t start to mind,” Tom replied with a wave of his fist and a twinkle in his eye. She laughed along with him, knowing that his threats held no heart. “I was just getting ready to tend to these bushes. Do you have anything special planned?”
“Actually, I was thinking of making my way to town. See what I’m missing.” She hadn’t left the three story cottage since arriving, spending the first two days in bed, sleeping away the weariness that had nearly consumed her after flying over the Atlantic. Tom had been here, waiting on her to arrive. He had let her in, letting her know that he would be available to her if she needed anything. She had made him swear that he wouldn’t tell anyone she was here until she was ready.
“So, you be ready to come out into the open then. Well, this is a surprise. Will you let an old man like myself buy you your first pint at the pub?” Tom asked, waggling his eyebrows at her.
“I’ll let you buy me my first two,” she replied with a laugh that she found came easier and easier everyday.
~*~*~*~*~*~
“Logan, you have to understand where she’s coming from,” Scott said, exasperated by the man’s persistence. He had been able to avoid the other man for a week, taking a drive into town for any errand anyone needed done. He had locked himself in his room, and quickly disappeared when ever Logan was close by. He knew this was coming, and he found he just couldn’t avoid it anymore. “She’s been through a lot more than you want to believe.”
“What happened in there? What were those kids put through while you were here, sitting on your ass, waiting for them to show up?” Logan growled, forcing Scott into a corner.
He was sitting in the rec room, trying to figure out what he was going to tell him, what he could tell him without Logan loosing control of himself, when the man in question came barging in, demanding answers. Scott didn’t know what to leave out. Rogue had been good about giving him the bare minimum of things, but never delving too deep and giving him details. It wasn’t until after reading her letter that he realized he only had an idea of what happened.
“Logan, sit down and knock it off. I’ll tell you what I can.”
The feral man looked shocked for a second, almost as if he was unable to register that Scott was willing to talk, without having to be threatened. There were no snide remarks, no words to make him feel like a fool, no threats. Instead, Scott’s shoulders seemed to slump as he walked back to the chair he had been sitting on a moment ago. If Logan didn’t know better, he would have sworn that Scott looked like a defeated man.
“Logan… I don’t even know where to begin.” Scott’s shoulders seemed to slump even more, and Logan realized just how much was weighing on his shoulders. He looked as if he was carrying the all of the guilt and burden everyone else had.
“The beginning’s always good,” Logan replied gruffly, not showing any concern for it.
“There was a new mutant trying to get here, but had run out of options of transportation,” Scott started softly, “he didn’t have any money, and no one really wanted to give a hitch hiker with horns sticking out of his face a ride. So I thought it would be a good practice run to have the junior team drive down and pick him up. I was only planning on sending two of them. Rogue and Piotr. Both were the best fighters and training for leadership positions. They worked well together and were the most responsible. I didn’t foresee the fact that the others were itching to get out, also.
“Rogue asked me first, and I would have probably agreed to maybe two more, but I thought it was best if she spoke to Xavier first. She was the best trained and I was planning on putting her in charge her own team in a few weeks anyway. This was as good a time as any for her to show her independence from me, so I sent her to talk to Xavier. I didn’t expect him to not only agreeing with her to take along Bobby and Kitty, but he had also insisted that she take Jubilee and John. I think he just wanted them out of the mansion for a few hours. Believe me when I tell you, everyone used to pay when those two grew restless.”
Logan barely remembered how the pair was a few years ago. When he thought about it, the only thing he could really remember were a flash of yellow and a spark of a lighter.
“Well, they left early in the morning with one of Charles’ credit cards to get a room and some food for the night. Although they were all licensed drivers and, with the exception of John and Jubilee, pretty responsible for people their age, we didn’t want them to take any unnecessary risks and drive back at night. They were to pick up the kid and find somewhere to bunk down. Most importantly, they were to call when they picked him up and before they headed back. Kitty was in charge of that.”
“But they didn’t make it?” Logan asked quickly, his voice sure and angry.
Scott shook his head no, and, for the first time since beginning this tale, Logan felt him shift his gaze away. He realized that the man before him still held more guilt than was necessary. That he still felt it was his responsibility to take care of these children, and that he should have been there. Logan realized that he was starting to respect the man a little more.
“No. Xavier had left shortly after they had to Ireland. A kid there that he wanted to greet personally and bring home, so he wasn’t keeping any mental tabs on them. And Jean… Well, Jean hadn’t thought to check in on them at all, claiming that she was distracted by one thing or another.”
“Was she?”
“Probably, but if she had been doing it, well, we might have gotten there sooner. It wasn’t until about ten o’clock that night when I realized something was wrong. There was no call, no sign that everything was alright. I tried the cell phone I had given Kitty, but there was no answer. I was going to go look for them but I wanted to badly to believe that they were fine, that they were just being the irresponsible teenagers that we all cared about, and that they would call in the morning when they were on their way.” Scott paused, turning everything over in his head, examining every emotion he had felt. “Damn it, I knew something was wrong, knew it with my gut, but my head didn’t want to believe it. I had asked Jean to do a mental scan with cerebro, and she had said she would, but I never asked her about it. And then, in the morning when I got a call from the kid, well… Storm and I went searching. We took one of the Jeeps, and I was examining every damn rock and tree on the way, looking for any sign of them.”
“What did you find?” Logan asked softly, coaxing him along gruffly. “What was out there, Scott?”
The scene flashed in his mind, and, with it, the emotions he had felt upon finding what he had. He could still feel the anger, the confusion. The guilt. Most of all, he felt the pain that comes with loosing one’s family member. “The van, of course. They had to take one to fit everybody inside. I still remember Jubilee nagging about the way it looked. She wanted to take something more compact and yellow.
“There was also a shoe. Kitty’s, I think. A few burn marks that had to have come from John’s lighter before they got it away from him. Or they could have been from Jobilee, depending on how you looked at them. The land around the road was still somewhat damp. From Bobby, most likely. And there were a few fresh potholes that could have been made by Piotr.
“Nothing from Rogue?”
“The blood. There was a lot of it. More than we thought possible,” Logan felt the blood in his own veins grow cold. “Rogue was the only one who could have gotten close enough to make someone loose that much. She had to have been the last one standing.”
Logan looked at him startled. He felt his stomach unknot and his blood run warm again. He hadn’t expected that.
“Xavier came back right away, the young Irish boy in tow. For the life of me, I don’t remember what he could do. Something with rain and sun light. Storm was in charge of his training.” Scott paused again, sitting back in the chair. “After the first year, everyone was beginning to lose hope. We didn’t know where they were or even if they were alive. We held a memorial in their honor, and, for a few people, it settled things. They were able to move on. But, for me and Xavier, well, neither of us could let it go. He couldn’t locate them with cerebro, but we both know that it’s not impossible to get around that.”
“And you hit the pavement?”
“Exactly. I kept looking. Ororo helped out a lot, contacting me with the information I needed, and Hank kept an ear out around congress, in case some military official started to brag about a new weapon.”
“And this panned out?”
“Surprisingly so, but not how we would have figured. It seemed that someone in Washington was investigating a group of private civilians being backed by a high ranking Army General. Someone no body had suspected of anything of this magnitude. We would have found out about everything earlier, but the man he had put in charge was found to be hording a few of the subjects himself. He was quickly replaced and who ever stepped in was able to keep everything well under the radar.”
“How did you find out about it?”
“Hank’s contact wasn’t sure whether or not they were actually dealing with mutants, so he started asking questions. He told Hank that it was starting to look like they had a mutant that had the ability to kill with a touch.”
“Rogue.” Logan felt his soul crack. She had been used in much the same way he had been. His worst fears had come true. And he hadn’t saved her.
“Yes. Hank dug a little deeper and we found the compound they were kept in. In the desert area between Nevada and California. They put her through a lot while she was in there. Planned for her to become what they thought would be their most prized possession. She would be their mutant leader, the one only taking orders from the most elite. She would act as their executioner and be used to keep the other’s in line. She still hadn’t been broken, though. Not in four years. None of them had. I still don’t know how they found out.”
Scott paused for a moment, not sure if he should keep going or not. Rogue had said to tell him what he wanted to, but Scott wasn’t sure if Logan was ready to hear it just yet. He would have to find out sometime though, and it would be best if he wasn’t caught unaware at a crucial time. Scott still expected Rogue to come home and join the team. It wouldn’t do to have Logan get himself killed to protect a woman who couldn’t be harmed.
“She was forced to do a lot, Logan. She had to watch as the other’s were pushed to develop their abilities further, had to study how they did it. She was kept separate from everyone else, at the same time, in the hopes that she would understand that she wasn’t one of them, but their better. They took her hope for control away when they put a chip in her neck and began controlling her mutations for their own sick purposes.” Scott paused again, knowing that he was going to continue, but trying to find the words. “They made her take lives, Logan. Made her kill with her mutation and their was no stopping it. Two of the mutants she killed, well, she kept their abilities. A woman who could fly and had super strength along with invulnerability. A boy who could heal. She’s going to live forever with this festering inside of her. It’s no wonder she needs some time alone.”
“There’s more your not telling me. What else?”
Scott sighed, realizing that he had gone this far, he might else well tell the rest. “She was beaten a lot, tortured and played with. She was forced to see witness her best friends be tortured and she couldn’t help them. She has the soul of a leader, and something like that, well; it eats a person like us away quicker than anything they could do to us personally. I suspect that she was raped, but she’s never spoken about it. Not with me, nor anyone else. With her new healing factor, all that we could tell was that she wasn’t a virgin anymore. And, knowing what the other two girls went through, it’s easy to deduct what she was put through. Especially after they took control of her mutation.”
“I should have been here,” Logan said softly, his words ringing truer than he had ever guessed. “I shouldn’t have left at all. If I hadn’t…”
“If you hadn’t, you would have been wondering about your past and making it difficult to find them. We don’t know how they could be taken so easily. We thought that the kid had something to do with it, but Xavier checked his mind and knew that he didn’t have any idea. Don’t hold that against yourself. You didn’t make it happen and no one told you. I wish we had. She needed you, yes. But she was able to get past it to this extent. She just needs sometime. Give her that, at least.” Scott stood to walk away, wanting to end the conversation. He had only taken a step when he felt Logan’s hand on his arm.
“You should start taking your own advice,” Logan said, apologetically. “You had no way of knowing, either. And you had no way of stopping it. I’m sorry you had to go through that.”
“Thanks Logan. You’re right, but we both no that words like that aren’t going to take away the guilt.” Scott smirked for a second, realizing that they had just crossed a line that might just make them tolerant to one another. “If it’s any consolation; Rogue and I were never together. She… She just wanted to keep that to herself.”
“Why?”
“You’ll have to ask her about that.”
~*~*~*~*~*~
“How do you know Charles, Tom?” Rogue asked over her pint of Guinness.
Tom smiled at her over his own pint, and she noticed the way his green eyes seemed to brighten with the memory. “Ah. You see, your not the first mutant to ever grace our presence, Lass. If I tell you my tale, will you share one of your own?”
“Why not. I think I can dig up a couple. You have a deal.” She stuck her hand out for him to grasp, shaking on her word.
“Well,” Tom started casually, sitting back in his chair, “my son, Michael is his name, well, when he was sixteen, he had a crush on the girl down the road. She was a pretty thing, although not as pretty as you.”
“Enough teasing, old man,” Rogue growled lightly. “Do you always through around compliments so easily?”
“Aye. It helps keep you young,” Tom replied with a playful grin. “Anyway, this girl didn’t return any of Michael’s affections, and she let the world know. Well, for weeks afterward, the rain poured down long and hard. The crops began to die from lack of sun and too much water. No one knew what was happening. Now, there was another girl, here in the village. She had been love with my son since they were in diapers. One day, she saw him moping around in the rain. She said too hell with it and walked right over and kissed him. Not just a peck. No, she kissed him full on the mouth long and hard. With everything she had. Well, as she was kissing him, a funny thing happened. The clouds seemed to clear with a blink of the eye and the sun began to shine.
“But, as the weeks went by, the days began to grow unbelievably warm. Hot, even. It became clear that the weather would change with Michael’s moods.”
Rogue was suddenly reminded of Ororo, and what she was capable of, given her own mood swings. She wondered if this boy was on the same level.
“Xavier came to us soon after, and told us that he could help my poor son. He would take him to America and show him how to use his gifts and put him through school. My boy happily agreed, saying that it was a fine opportunity. I asked Xavier what I could do to repay him, but he wouldn’t hear of him. I told him that I would have to refuse, unless he let me do something for him. My pride wouldn’t let me accept a gift like that. So, he told me that he was looking to build a cottage close by the village, and wanted to know if I would be the caretaker. I agreed whole heartedly, and, as soon as it was finished, I took over the grounds. I have to say though, before I found out you were coming, I was beginning to believe that he had only built it to satisfy my pride.”
“And what happened to Michael?”
“He was gone for about a year. Then he came home and married that girl before taking her to Dublin to start their own business. They’re expecting their second child now.”
Rogue felt her heart swell with the happiness she felt for the couple. It was one of those things that kept Charles going, that kept him from giving up when it looked as if the world was against him.
“Now, Lass, we made a deal. Do you have a story or not?”
“Yes, I have one. There was a girl once,” she began swiftly, allowing her mind to creep back to all those years ago. “She was a sweet girl, smart, polite, very shy. She was in love with this boy she had known for most of her life.”
“This is starting to sound like mine.”
“No, it’s different. You see, this girl, we’ll call her Marie. Marie was special, only she didn’t know it. She found out, though, during the first kiss she shared with this boy. Her first kiss ever. She found out that she could take a life with a single touch. She put the boy in a coma. Her family shunned her and the town ran her out. She headed North with little more than the clothes on her back and a few dollars in her pocket.
“She made it all the way up to Alaska, where she met a man with bones of metal. She snuck on to his truck, but he found her and took her in. She was warm, and, for the first time in eight months, felt safe. But it didn’t last.
“Soon after, they were attacked, and saved by Xavier’s people. They thought the people who had attacked them wanted something to do with Lo… the man, but it was really her they wanted. They kidnapped her right out from Xavier’s nose. The man saved her though, with help from their new friends. She was close to death, and so he touched her, giving her another chance and sacrificing his own. And she loved him for it. If she was to be honest with herself, she loved him since she the moment she saw him. Needless to say, they both survived, but her happiness wasn’t to last. He left shortly after that, leaving for a quest to find himself. He gave her something very important to himself, something that he had owned for as long as he could remember, and promised he’d be back.” Rogue fought the urge to reach for the area on her chest where the dog tags once hung. She could almost still feel the cool metal against her skin, but it was useless. They were long gone. “She never stopped loving him.”
“Aye, that’s a sad story, Lass. Did he ever return?” Tom asked his sadness in his eyes.
“Yes, but she had waited a long time, and had been put through a lot in between,” Rogue replied somberly. “By the time he came back, she was a different person, and not naive enough to believe that her love was enough.”
“Love is always, enough, Dear Hannah. Love is all you have in the end.”
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Author's Chapter Notes:
“Yes, but she had waited a long time, and had been put through a lot in between,” Rogue replied somberly. “By the time he came back, she was a different person, and not naive enough to believe that her love was enough.”
Chapter End Notes:
This started out really slow, I wasn't sure where to go with it, but, by the end, it just wrote itself.