Star felt it was best if she just rushed into things, anything that the Professor didn’t understand would be sorted out easily enough. She supposed that was the nice part about talking with a telepath there was no need to stop and go over every little detail, which was good because the story of her life wasn’t something Star liked to dwell on.
“I guess I had a pretty average life until I…uh….
“Manifested?”
The Professor offered the word to her like her had offered her the tea, kindly and in a suggestive manner.
Her only response was to nod meekly.
“It happened during summer vacation, we all took a trip down to the Jersey shore. Disgusting place, even my mother who’s not overly picky declined to go in the water. The place is really only good for night life and sun tanning.”
She laughed at the memory of her mother, a woman still living but who she had no contact with. The same could be said of her entire family, it was strange and sad to be talking about her family with a perfect stranger. She hadn’t spoken of any of them in a little over a year.
A look of pain flashed over her face and she fought against it, tried her damndest to place a mask of stoicism so strong it would put Logan’s to shame. She hoped it worked; she always hated to look overly emotional in front of people.
“I fell asleep on a lawn chair, lying out in the sun. I guess I was having a nightmare or something but I started to dream that I was burning, that the sun was actually flowing into me and I couldn’t take it, it was too strong much to strong and I started to burst into flame, in my dream,” she clarified, “and I felt the fire licking at my skin, felt the sensation as my skin actually melted and my blood was boiling.”
She couldn’t help the astonishment that crept into her tone, it had been a grotesque dream that triggered her mutation as well as a fascinating one.
She met the Professors gaze, it was laced with intense concentration and he nodded gently at her to continue.
“I guess I got scared, I guess if I wasn’t a mutant I would have just woken up and it wouldn’t have been a big deal.”
The sigh that came out of her at the end of that statement was enough to make the papers sitting on Xavier’s desk in front of her flutter, it was a heavy sound filled with sadness.
“Of course that isn’t what happened,” a light well placed dry chuckle, “I woke up and I was on fire! I mean if I were normal I would have had sun burn for sure but this was so different. My skin was literally sizzling! It wasn’t melting though like in the dream just retaining the heat and the lawn chair I was sitting in was melting, sticking to my skin and then sliding off as my body temperature rose. I stood up and people were starring at me, mouths open, eyes wide. My mother was sitting on the beach towel under the umbrella behind me, she started screaming….”
Her eyes filled with tears because this was as far in her tale as she could go before she started to realize how much she’d messed up in those first moments.
“Star you needn’t go on if this upsets you.”
She took a deep breath, closed her eyes and blew it out nosily through her open mouth. No she had to do this, at least if she told someone about it she wouldn’t always have to walk around with it. A few tears slipped down her cheeks, she never really cried anymore! Just a few silent tears and maybe a little sob. She didn’t sob though, she just smiled at Xavier through the tears and told him she wanted to continue.
“By the time I stood steam was coming off of me and I everything is a little blurry at this point. I couldn't see so well, I could hear my mother screaming and I think my dad was on the boardwalk buying food but he wasn’t there at this point. Wherever I looked my vision was obscured by this hazy heat cloud, rolling over whatever I saw. Next thing I knew I started to feel a pain in my feet, intense like something sharp was jabbing me. I was turning the god damned sand into glass, that’s how hot my body was. A couple of droplets of sweat fell off of my skin and as soon as my sweat hit the sand, it sent up a little cloud of steam. My sweat was the same temperature as boiling water.I ran for the ocean at top speed, it was more difficult to move but I had too.”
She stopped to take a breath and a much needed sip of her tea which was cooling rapidly.
“And when you reached the water?”
“Oh immense relief, I almost cried it was blissful. My skin crackled when the cold water hit it and I dunked myself repeatedly, the entire beach watched me like I was a side show freak! I swear people stood and gathered at the shore line with such interest I was afraid to leave the water, afraid they’d try to abduct me. Eventually I felt myself cool down and when I could see normally again I got out of the water, I realized I needed to get out of the sun. It was the sun fueling it, transforming me.”
To Xavier her words painted the picture of Bobby, the way his body went completely into ice form when he was under distress.
“Were you in any pain?”
She frowned, brow furrowing at his question.
“Not from the actual mutation, no, none at all. My feet were cut up pretty bad though, the salt
water stung with violent intensity and when I went to walk up onto the beach the sand absolutely
killed me, the way it crawled up into my wound. It was painful to say the least.”
“I’m sorry you had to go through that.”
Normally Star detested pity or “sympathy” which was just a fancy word for “I’m glad I’m not you” and she actually felt a small sneer nestle on her face directed at the Professor…but then she thought about Logan in the hotel room and the way she wanted to sympathize with him and make him understand that she wasn’t pitying him but reaching out to him. The way this kind and dear man was reaching out to her, so she curved her sneer into a sad smile and thanked the Professor for his words.
“What happened when you got out of the water?”
Did she really want to go into the whole gory detail?
Of course she didn’t…The next words out of her mouth were spoken with bitterness as she recalled the painful memories and remorse mixed with shock, because no matter what there are just some things in life you can never quite grasp.
“Nothing good, I’ll tell you that much. Everyone at the beach was starring and my skin was still smoking, just lightly. As the water dried on my skin though the sun began to heat me again and I made a beeline for my mother’s umbrella and blanket. People moved out of way, they were scared of me, honest to god terrified I’d infect them with my mutantness. I was so angry just then and I felt the heat slither over my skin when my anger rose, and for the record Professor I swear, even before I manifested I always thought that cruelty towards mutants was just another form of racism, I never once had a bad thing to say about someone unless they did something terrible, and that was what infuriated me most of all!”
He merely smiled kindly at her, and she unhappily digressed.
“I made my way to the blanket and my parents were just coming towards me at lightning speed. I didn’t even have time to put my clothes on, the chair I’d burned was sitting in the glassy sand, all twisted metal poles and scorched plastic, and you could smell the burnt plastic, it smelled awful. My father wouldn’t look at me and my mother was in tears, they didn’t say a word and we left the other beach chairs there and grabbed only our towels and our personal belongings before we marched off the beach. I should tell you both my parents think mutants are...” She faltered trying to find the right words... “they think that they.. do it on purpose. They think mutants are genuinely disturbed people who intentionally make things difficult by manifesting powers because they want attention. That’s just their outlook and I never bothered to try to change their mind because I never had a reason to.”
She frowned looking down at the desk, her tea was cold now. She put her palm around the porcelain cup and concentrated. A light glow came from her hand and warmed up the tea again, she sighed as she sipped her now warm beverage. Xavier never said a word and just watched her; he seemed to sense that she needed a moment to compose her thoughts. It was so raw to bring it all up again, her abandonment, the loss of her parents. The suddenness of it all…
Best to get this over with She thought sourly as she rushed into an explanation that would hopefully yield no more questions. She never did manage to shake the sad look that had weaved its way into her topaz colored eyes.
“They left me there, not at that exact moment, but a day and a half later. We talked about what happened some, I accidently lost my cool-no pun intended- during a very heated argument with my parents that night and I made a solar ball, or energy ball. I can shoot them from my hands sometimes when I concentrate; I almost shot up the whole hotel room. The next day my parents wouldn’t let me leave the hotel; they said they’d go out to get breakfast. They uh…they never came back.”
Her eyes fell into her lap and she fought violently against the sensation to cry. When she brought her face back up to Xavier’s placid face her eyes were shimmering with unshed tears.
“I, uh,” she took a moment to take a breath, “I didn’t even know they had left until someone opened the door of my room three hours later. They’d checked out and everything and the person opening my door was the new tenant. Nice guy he gave me a few minutes to pack up my stuff, I noticed then that my parents suitcases were missing and I still remember thinking how in the whole three hours I never even realized that.”
Her voice sounded shocked even to her own ears.
They sat in silence for a few uncomfortable minutes and when Star was ready to look at him, she realized she could feel moisture on her skin and wished for a tissue. No sooner had the thought occurred to her a tissue box floated over to and landed lightly in her lap. She flashed Xavier a watery smile and dabbed at her eyes.
~*~*~*~**~~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~
Logan spent a good hour in the danger room working out his pent up frustrations. He was frustrated sexually beyond belief, he’d meant to stop and get in a good quickie before he’d returned to the mansion but Stars presence had prevented that. Seeing Marie hadn’t done him any help either, he was stiff and sore with want. Aside from sexual frustration he was frustrated with his response to Rogue’s body. There was no denying he wanted to see what she looked like without the layers and layers of clothing and the idea of a touchable Rogue only sent him into a furry of jabs, kicks, uppercuts and sidewinders. His body hummed with frustration and he lost himself to the rhythm of the work out,
Jab
Kick
KICK
KICK!
Oh chuck's gonna have to replace that thing
Claw
Duck
Swing
Punch
Swipe
Is it bad that I'm most happy when I get to beat the shit out of things?
Swerve
Slam
Side step
See this is good no thoughts of Rogue at all...
Push
Kick
Jab
Punch
Thrust
Slam
Fuck
Push her up against the wall, slam her hips into mine, show her how I feel* when I thrust into her and grind her against me until she’s shaking
“ARGH!”
He growled, god dammit! He needed to stop thinking of fucking Rogue!
He redoubled his efforts and once again lived up to his name as the Wolverine as he trashed, and smashed every object his could get his claws on. He didn’t feel less horny when he left the danger room, but he felt like he’d done what he needed to spend the excess energy. A nice stint in the sauna and a cold shower and he’d be good as new.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
After a respectable silence the Professor began his inquisition of sorts.
“Did you ever try to contact your parents again?”
She nodded, using her thumb to wipe away a stray tear drop.
He raised his eyebrows as a way of asking her how that went.
“I hitchhiked back home first chance I got and when I got there, my parents had sold their house and moved. I don’t think they were being dramatic I assumed it was because everyone knew me back home and they figured it would be easier than explaining my disappearance.”
Xavier was stunned; he’d heard of parents turning their freshly mutated children away before but up and moving seemed a little extreme to say the least. There was one question he was dying to know and he hoped she’d answer it on her own.
“Star, how old are you?”
She looked up at him suddenly shocked and amused all at once, she looked a little crazy for a moment and Xavier was taken aback.
“You know I don’t really know. What year is this?”
He remained calm and told her it was 2009, he earned a little sardonic laugh for his efforts.
“And it’s September right now?”
He nodded.
She sighed.
“I’ll be nineteen in two months. I just…they threw me out about a year ago and I try not to think about it, not even to remember that it happened at all. I like to pretend I was just borne into existence fully grown, like Athena!”
He smiled kindly at her before he burst her bubble.
“Ah, but Star Athena had a mother, Zeus merely ate her and Athena grew inside his skull, a rather gruesome way to come into existence.”
She laughed at him.
“I’m sure she enjoyed her birth more than I enjoyed my abandonment. Truth be told Professor this is the first time I’ve spoken about any of it, to any one since the day it happened. I don’t even write my real name down unless I have to and I go around pretending I don’t have a family or if I did have one I don’t remember them because they died when I was younger, or I was in a nasty accident and lost my memory, I think amnesia would be merciful at this point.”
He turned wise and mellow eyes on her and smiled such a charming smile that she felt herself warming up from the inside.
“Star, is that why you told Logan you didn’t have any memories?”
Back to that again, huh? Why does it matter what I told him
She nodded.
“I didn’t want to lie about it; it’s just so much easier than having to remember.”
“Star, I’d like to tell you a few things about Logan and I’d like you to pay close attention.”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~
“Roguey! You know he wants you! Just make him come get you!”
“Jubilee his hands were practically wrapped around my face, we were starring into each other eyes and everything! He just doesn’t wanna take that last step….”
“Chicky that parts up to you make him want you, take the choice out of his hands! Grab him by the face and suck the lips off of him!”
Rogue sighed talking about this wasn’t making her feel better like she originally thought.
“Oh Jubes he’s just running again, I can’t make him see what’s right in front of his face and it scares me, how the hell am I suppose to get him to understand? He never seems to see where I’m comnin from.”
Rogue’s accent betrayed her it always got a little thicker when she was nervous, or upset….or angry….or really happy….or sleepy….basically it just fluctuated on its own.
“Oh sweetie I promise it’s got to pan out eventually, you know wolvie, he can be crazy sometimes. Remember the time he tried to separate the red color out of Remy’s eyes after he caught him starring at your ass?”
Jubilation rubbed small comforting circles on her friends back trying to shift her depressed mood.
“Jubes I’ve been legal for almost than three years and he just walks right past the opportunity to be with me all the time! What am ah supposed to do dress up in pasties and leather boots and knock on his door?”
She was close to tears but at seeing Jubilations face she almost swallowed her tongue in shock.
“Jubilation no!”
Rogue used her full name to illustrate to the younger girl how serious she was.
Her friends face was one of sheer inspiration, as if the perfect idea had just it her and she looked at Rogue as if the girl had just provided them with the solution to all their problems.
“Rogue listen, don’t say no yet! It could be really tasteful; you know we’ll have you in one of those sheer body suits, so you won’t be full frontal! Then we’ll put pasties on and the boots will cover most of your legs!”
“Have you lost your damn mind? I’m not going to do that! Logan will just think it’s some desperate attempt from a love sick kid.”
Rogue’s resulting sigh was exalted from her body with a great heave of her chest and accompanied by a sorrowful crooning noise, the noise packed such a punch that it left a frown lingering on Rogue’s face and was enough to knock the usually set chipper look right off of Jubilee’s face.
“ROGUE!”
All business, no silly stuff, at least her stern voice got Rogue to look up but it didn’t quite make the sadness disappear from her eyes.
“We have to show Logan that you’re no love sick puppy, you chica are one hot babe and you got all the curves in all the right places and all the charm and sass and not to mention those killer yabbo’s! We have to show Logan your yabbos!!”
“Jubilee what in tarnation is a yabbo?”
Jubilee could spot the shadow of a smirk in her friend’s words and eagerly explained.
“Yabbos babe, your boobs your Mary and Jane, your ladies, your ying-yangs, ding-dongs, doodlies, bazooka’s, your lady bits your little ukulele’s your-
“Ah get the dang point Jubilee, damn! What do you do sit around all day working up new names for em?”
Jubilee got a dangerous glint in her eyes as she winked and chuckled. Now Jubilee was the kind of person that Rogue expected a wink from.
“C’mon chica the time has come to SEX YOU UP and DRESS YOU DOWN!”
Jubilee made a super woman face and punched her fist into the air in mock cheer...
“Oh dear sweet lord up above save me...”
And those were the last words Rogue would be speaking all evening...
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~
“Logan didn’t have any memories when he came here professor?”
He’d told her everything and then some. When Star had walked into the tiny office she thought it might have been around 9 maybe nine thirty and she hadn’t intended on staying more than a half hour at most. Of course like most things she thought when she’d come to the mansion she’d been wrong.
It was nearly eleven o’clock and she’d been sitting in the spacious office for two hours. Star had spent a good hour telling the professor her story and as soon as she’d finished he’d told her he wanted to talk about Logan. Before they dove into their Logan talk Professor Xavier made it perfectly clear to her that he was in no way going to turn her away, he told her it was a sin on her parents part to have treated her the way they did and if she still had any desire to find and talk with him then he’d be more than happy to help. He cautioned however not count on a happy reunion and he of course spent a good thirty minutes explaining to her that being a mutant meant nothing else other than the fact that her DNA was slightly altered and that it was merely a matter of genetics like brown hair or red hair.
Star had bitten back a snort at that comment because although she understood what she was saying, being a brunette or a red head didn’t mean you could shoot yellow beams of light out of your hands. Genetics it may have been but normal...eh...
“Logan has lived a very long life Star, you have to realize there is a fair probability that he may have existed long before either of us were born and he may very well ndeed go on living long after both of us are gone.”
“Professor, you say his age is hard to determine because of his mutation but I thought his mutation was his claws?”
Over the course of the last hour Profess Xavier had explained to Star that Logan had been the victim of a grievous experimentation because he was a mutant. He taken a few minutes to explain to her that such things had been heard of but that Logan was the only one who had experienced such torment living at the mansion. The up side was that Logan didn’t remember any of it; he had traces of memories but nothing concrete. Apparently when Star had encountered him he was on a quest for information that may have pertained to his past and it wasn’t his first trip up into the snowy north for that purpose. Star had sat silently absorbing all of that information as if she were a sponge.
“Allow me to explain, Logan’s mutation has always been his claws but it is in addition to his ability to heal. Through his time here Logan has gone on many missions and received various injuries for his efforts, serious injuries,” the professor stressed for her benefit, “but he was capable of recovering from them because of his mutation, his ability to heal. When he was chosen for this particular experiment it was because of his healing capabilities. The claws which I can only assume were made from bone originally were covered in the metal which covers Logan’s skeleton, admantium.”
“Wait a minute here,” a very mischievious look floated into Star’s eyes as she leaned forward in her chair, “you’re telling me that I can do practically anything to Logan and he’ll survive it? Won’t even feel a thing and heal right up kind of deal? Because that could have definite potential..”
The Professor scowled, there was no other way to describe the slight frown and knotted eyebrows look he shot at Star.
“He is quite capable of feeling pain Star, make no mistake there is never a time when he can’t feel what’s happening to him, he is only capable of recovering from it and even his abilities have limits.”
“But if he can feel pain then...the metal they poured on his skeleton it must have been...agonizing.”
She said the last word with the revelation it had brought to her, it came out as almost a pained whisper.
“Yes, I would imagine it was quite painful for him. Star, I trust that you realize that this conversation is strictly confidential. Just as I have no intentions of disclosing what personal information you’ve told me about your life I trust that you will see fit to treat Logan’s personal information with the same courteously.”
The stern face he gave her brooked no argument and Star nodded obligingly.
“I would never say anything professor, but...”
She bit her lip in indecision before continuing.
“Logan still thinks that I don’t remember my past...”
The Professor seemed to look down for a minute before rewarding Star with another of his kind smiles.
“Star, I don’t think it is in your best interest or anyone else’s for you to tell other people that you don’t remember your past. What information you choose to bestow on others regarding your past is of course entirely up to you, I would never dream of forcing you to divulge anything more than what you felt comfortable giving, but I do believe that honesty is the best policy."
“Professor, even if I choose not to tell other people about my past their going to ask, of course I can just say I’d rather not talk about it but what if I become friends with someone and tell them the truth and by some unfortunate turn of events,” she thought dryly how the events always turned toward the unfortunate side when she was involved, “Logan were to find out the truth, he’d hate me.”
The Professor nodded at her observation.
“Yes Star I do believe that he would feel quite betrayed if he were to find out that you lied to him. As you may have realized I was speaking to Logan about his encounter with you and your shared journey here. I assume you noticed a difference in Logan’s attitude towards you after you told him of your pseudo amnesia. When Logan and I spoke of your amnesia and of what you'd told him he seemed profoundly grateful at the prospect of being able to help someone like himself. I think it’s actually quite imperative that Logan doesn’t find out from an external source that what you told him was a lie."
Real comforting thanks.
Star was actually scared to ask her next question.
“What do you suggest?”
“I suggest you find him, maybe not tonight because the hour is very late and tell him what you told me.”
“Wonderful idea.”
She couldn’t help the wise crack that slipped out and even though she covered her hand with her mouth and slapped a quick apologetic look son her face she still thought it was a testament to her restraint that she’d been able to curve her sarcastic side throughout the entire meeting.
The Professor looked amused but only slightly, the twinkle in his eye was battling the wry smile on his mouth.
“You realize he’s going to hate me, right?”
“No I don’t think that will be his reaction at all. He may be angry at first but I believe that in time he’ll come to respect you for your honesty.”
Star did her best but the skeptical “yeah right” look claimed her face and she had a time and half trying to pry the expression off.
“Professor before we leave there’s just one question I wanted to ask you.”
He nodded encouragingly.
Now that you know that I’m nineteen and you realize I have my diploma, and I noticed this place is only teaching children up until the high school level, well...what am I supposed to do here? I mean I’m really interested in staying!”
“I hadn’t told you officially of the X-men and perhaps given the late hour that is a conversation best saved for later but I’d very much like to extend an invitation to join the team if you had an interest. I’d very much like for you to think about what we’ve discussed here and perhaps we can meet for tea again tomorrow? I’ll explain some of the pros and cons of joining the team, I trust the jr. X-men you met tonight may have given you a fair idea but I’d like to elaborate.”
Star laughed lightly she thought there wasn’t anything this man must not know.
“I’d really like that professor, and thank you,” her face she hoped conveyed her pure gratitude,
“you don’t know how much this really means to me.”
“Oh I think I may, I am psychic you know.” He tapped his skull endearingly before wishing her a pleasant good night.
Star was at the door before she stopped and turned.
“Professor?”
“Yes?”
“You will let me be the one to tell Logan, I mean this was all confidential, you won’t say anything to him, right?”
He smiled kindly at her again and Star wondered if his mutation was making people feel perfectly at ease.
“My dear my lips are sealed.”
With that they bade each other good night and Star hopped up the stairs to her new bedroom, she thought it was in the teachers room.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Warning, the title is a total tease ; )