"You gotta be kiddin' me?!"
"I'm afraid not, Logan. It is the law."
"But can't you just, y'know, wave money at 'em or somethin'?"
"Not in this situation, no. The board is kept under close supervision - any suggestion of corruption is dealt with extremely severely. And I am not inclined to test their resolve in this matter."
"But -"
"*No*, Logan. You will have to go through with it, if you wish to continue on here as you have been doing."
"Hey, I'm sure you'll do just fine."
"Shut the fuck up, Summers. And don't fuckin' smirk at me."
"Will the candidates for the Liberal Arts and Sciences teaching exam please proceed to Examination Room 4b?"
"Rrrrr..."
"Can I help?"
"Yeah. What the fuck's with this question?"
"Keep your voice down. The other candidates need to concentrate."
"Whatever. Look, 'Read the excerpt. From the following options, please select the most likely social position and political viewpoint of the writer.' It ain't any of these - the man's a fuckin' moron with a social position of his head up his ass. *My* political viewpoint is he needs a good kickin'."
"You are supposed to pick the most likely option. It won't necessarily be a complete explanation of the writer. And it doesn't mean you have to agree with him."
"Fuckin' right it don't. The guy needsta be tracked down and -"
"Please. Will you just get on with the exam? You only have a limited time period."
"Rrrrrr..."
"Did you just...? Ah, never mind."
"Yes?"
"Why the fuck do I haveta answer this one?"
"What? And please keep your voice down."
"This one."
"'Contrast the mood of the two poems, making particular reference to their use of metaphor and the effect it has on the reader.' Well, what's wrong with it? You read the poems and write a paragraph comparing them."
"And this'll make me a better P.E. teacher how?"
"You're going to be a - no, I should have guessed."
"Whaddya mean by that, bub?"
"Oh, uh, nothing. Um, look just write a bit about how both poems talk about the weather, and why that one's happy and that one's sad."
"I don't see why I need to write about fuckin' poetry to get a qualification to teach kids how ta fight."
"No, I don't suppose so. Look, you have to do it to pass the test, ok? It's the law."
"Goddamn stupid law."
"I'm beginning to see the point of it, myself."
"One more crack outta you, bub-"
"Will you two please be quiet? Is there a problem here?"
"Uh, no, it's all right, we've got it sorted."
"Yeah, whatever."
"Well, good, because you are distracting the other candidates."
"My apologies, Inspector."
"Yeah. Sorry."
"Very well. Carry on, Mr. Byers. Please get on with your paper, Mr. Logan."
...
"Dumbass."
"Jubes, you haven't seen Logan today, have you?"
"Hola, chica. Haven't you heard? He's taking an exam!"
"An *exam*? What on earth for?"
"To be our teacher. Revenge is sweet."
"Oh, poor Logan."
"Poor Logan my shapely li'l ass. Did you see my bruises after his last so-called class? The man's actively tryin' to kill us, Rogue, you gotta face it."
"He's - he's just doing his best to-"
"Put us in hospital? Cripple us? Pound the spirit out of our poor, broken bodies?"
"To give us a chance in a real fight, I was going to say. We *are* supposed to be training for the X-Men."
"Babe, you're just delusional 'cause you've got the hots for him."
"Jubes, I've toldya, we're friends-"
"Yu-huh. And you totally wear the tags to keep your neck warm. I geddit."
"Jubes-"
"Whatever. Listen, I gotta motor, hon. I'm in hiding from Bobby. Don't tell him you saw me. Tell him I moved to New Mexico or something."
"Okay. See ya later."
"Oh, just eff-why-eye, Logan's taking the exam up at that hall in Westchester. Just in case you wanna go congratulate him or anything. Or commiserate."
"I don't know..."
"Go for it, girl. Catch him when he's vulnerable."
"I'll think about it."
"Ciao, bella... And wear somethin' tight!"
"Time's up, candidates. Please put down your pens and wait for the examiners to collect your papers."
"Fuck."
"How'd you think you did?"
"What?"
"D'you think you did okay? I think I passed. I'm not sure. God, I'm glad it's over."
"Dunno. Wish they hadn't stopped it then, though."
"What? Why?"
"Was just gettin' into that last one."
"What, the essay?"
"Yeah."
"You a fan of classic literature, then?"
"Nah, I just liked that bit from the book. The one about his soul demandin' her. Had a few opinions on it."
"'My very soul demands you: it will be satisfied, or it will take deadly vengeance on its frame.'"
"Yeah. I think the guy was right. She was only stayin' with him from pity."
"You haven't read Jane Eyre, have you?"
"Nah."
"Ah. Maybe you should."
"Hey! Logan!"
"Marie? What're you doin' here?"
"I came to see how your exam went."
"How'd you get here?"
"Bobby dropped me off. He's gone to the mall. So how did you do?"
"Dunno. I get the results in a coupla days. You goin' to the mall too?"
"Well, I thought I'd hang around with you... if that's okay?"
"Course, kid. C'mon, we'll go get somethin' to eat. I'm starvin'. Uh, you wanna eat?"
"Yeah, that'd be lovely. And you can tell me all about it."
"...And then Jane convinces Rochester that she really loves him, she teases him out of his bad mood, and she marries him and they live happily ever after."
"Yeah? I'da thought she'd be miserable with him."
"Well, it's fiction, Logan, it's not real life."
"I guess."
"What?"
"Nothin'."
"Oh, okay. Whatever."
"It's nothin', kid."
"No, that's fine. I didn't mean to pry. You know, I can't believe you carved your name in the desk. We used to do that in, like, third-"
"I just - I just wondered if she'd've stayed with him in real life. You said he was kinda ugly, and not too nice, and had a temper, and there was the other guy who was all noble and stuff."
"But she didn't love the other guy - she loved *him*."
"Well, yeah, but-"
"And he made her happy. And that was all she really needed. She was an independent woman."
"Yeah, I guess, but he wasn't too good for her-"
"Why? He didn't look down on her like the others, just 'cause she was different, and he took care of her - he'd've done anything for her. And he just made her really, really happy. Except when he was being an idiot and pretending he didn't care for her. What's not good?"
"..."
"Logan?"
"...I guess I dunno."
"Right. Now eat your burger."
"Yes'm."
"And don't be meek. It's completely unconvincing."
"Sir, yes, *sir*!"
"Shhhh!"
"There's another exam tomorrow. You wanna meet up after?"
"Love to, sugar."
"What's up your butt this mornin', girl?"
"I don't know what to wear."
"What's the big occasion?"
"Oh, nothing..."
"Rogue. Spill."
"Well, Logan sort of asked if I wanted to meet up after the exam..."
"You have a *date* with *Logan*? Christ, Rogue, you should've said! I'll get Jubes, and we'll prepare a battle plan."
"Kitty, it's not exactly..."
"He asked you to meet up. That's a date. Even he must know that."
"I don't think..."
"Girl, even *he* can't be that dense. Now you just have to show him you're attractive and available and desperate to shag the living daylights out of him, and you're set."
"Kitty..."
"Shut up, Rogue. I'll be back in a sec. Don't decide anything whilst I'm gone."
"Would all candidates for the Assessment of Teaching Skills please make their way to room 4b? The exam is about to begin."
"Ah, Mr. Logan, isn't it? Glad to see you're back again."
"Uh, hey."
"You're not going to give me any problems today, are you?"
"I can't help it if you set such dumbass questions. The essay one was okay, though."
"You liked that bit? Really?"
"It was... educational."
"What?"
"See ya in there."
"Hey, kid."
"Logan! God, you startled me. How'd it go?"
"I think that one was okay. They didn't have such stupid questions this time. A bit more relevant to bein' a teacher, anyhow."
"Really?"
"Yeah. You look nice."
"Oh, uh, thanks."
"Goin' somewhere?"
"Um, no, I mean - I thought - uh, never mind."
"You're still comin' for lunch with me, right?"
"Yes! I mean, um, I hadn't got plans to do anything else."
"Oh. C'mon then. The car's out back."
"No bike this time?"
"Nah, kid. Knew you were comin' this time."
"Ok. But I kind of like riding on the bike with you."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah, it's nice to be all - that is, um, it's fast, um, and, and it's nice with the wind and all. It's windy."
"Uh-huh."
"And it's fast. Speediness. I like the speediness."
"You said that already."
"Did I? Oh. So - where are we going?"
"It's a surprise."
"Ooh! I like surprises."
"Are we celebrating the end of your exams?"
"Sorta. D'you like it?"
"Yeah. A picnic was a great idea. It's a lovely day. You can see for miles up here."
"Mmm."
"And you even brought beer, which technically I'm not allowed."
"I won't tell Scooter if you don't. You're nearly old enough."
"Yes. What's a year, anyway?"
"Yeah. Um, Marie?"
"Mmm-hmm?"
"D'you wanna do this again?"
"What, have a picnic?"
"No, I mean... go out. Like, on a date."
"Gphh - erk!..."
"Marie? Are you all right?"
"Yes, just... went down... wrong way..."
"Here, have a drink."
"...Ta..."
"You all right now?"
"Yes, thanks. Sorry, didn't mean to choke just then."
"S'okay."
"You caught me by surprise."
"Sorry."
"What I was trying to say was, 'Omigod, yes!'"
"Yeah?"
"Of course, 'yeah'! Geez, am I not making myself obvious enough?"
"Well, I could be more convin- oof!"
"Like this?"
"Mmmm..."
"Logan..."
"M'rie..."
"Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm..."
"Mmmm... Logan?"
"I'm here."
"Where'd you go, sugar?"
"To get the post."
"Oh! Is that your results?"
"Yup."
"Well? Come on, open it, I'm dying to know!"
"...Do I get a consolation prize, if I didn't pass?"
"Oh, Logan. Sugar, it doesn't matter. Anyway, you can always retake it, if you want, and the Professor'll let you keep on teaching here as training in the meantime. Come on back to bed."
"Yeah."
"It's not important, Logan."
"Nah... Mmmm... That's good... Hey, Marie?"
"Um-hmm?"
"What do I get if I passed, then?"
"You - you passed! Oh-!"
"Ow!"
"Serve you right. C'mere, teacher-man... I'll show you something I didn't learn in school..."
The Wolverine & Rogue Fanfiction Archive
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Story Notes:
My brother just got his first teaching job (those poor kids ;)), which sparked the idea for this one, and then it went totally off-course, and is about five times as long as I thought it would be. It was originally going to be lots about the exam, and not about Logan and Rogue falling in love at all. Ah well. I garnered most of the information on the rules and regs of teaching in New York from http://www.highered.nysed.gov/tcert". The quote is from chapter 37 of Jane Eyre, by Charlotte Bronte. There's a good copy of the text here: http://classiclit.about.com/library/bl-etexts/cbronte/bl- cbronte-jan-pre.htm"...Ooh, spookiness ensues. I just finished this, and looked in this week's TV listings, and there was a film of Jane Eyre on. Playing Young Jane? Anna Paquin. Weird. I had no idea she'd ever played Jane (cue Twilight Zone music). Gotta watch that, now.