I like my job, so don’t get me wrong when I say this bar is a dump. ‘Cause it is. But I like working in it, heaven knows how I got a job here. I think the owner could just see I was desperate. It has character that other, more quality establishments don’t have. Like the big cage at the back where the locals and passing truckers like to beat the hell outta each other. Sometimes I like to watch. Depends on the quality of the fighter, but most of the time, I pay it no attention. It’s usually filled with fat, sweaty drunks who think they can take each other. Not fun to watch, but this place does character.
Me and Gina, the other bar girl and my new best friend, have been running low on glasses, so working my way through the crowd, I collect as many empties as I can and make my way back to the bar. I will admit I’m concentrating more on the tray than walking, and I bump into the side of this guy.
Then my senses take a jolt as I bump into this guy. Good lord above, he is handsome. A little rough round the edges but nice. Mutton chops not usually my thing, but hey, I’m guessing what’s hidden under that biker jacket and tight jeans would make up for it. Wonder if he’s a fighter or a drinker. “Sorry, sugah, but it ain’t the best place to stand.” As I turn away from him, I cringe. I hate my so-called sweet southern accent, but it slips out when I’m a bit nervous. It’s more than a little out of place here.
Turning back, I see him nod and follow me towards the bar. He takes a stool and orders a beer from Gina, whose eyes immediately light up. I smile a little as she flirts with him. He smiles at her, plays along, but I’m not sure he’s really her type. Though if he sleeps with anyone who has big tits and a pulse, then maybe he is her type.
As I load up the dishwasher with all the empties I collected, I wonder what my type is. I don’t think I have really even thought of a guy since the whole Cody thing. Not sure I want to even try just in case. I mean, I can control my skin, keep it off for 24 hours if I wanted to but, I don’t. I let it on when I’m home alone. I kinda like that little buzz it gives me sometimes.
Four beers later, he’s still sat at the bar. I could be wrong, but I think he may be watching me. But why the hell would he want to watch me? Gina is right there, short skirt over really long, nice legs, huge breasts, and more than a pretty face. Everyone watches her. I get offers, but I think most of the regulars think I’m a lesbian. Since I’ve been here, I have filled out a little. My hair has thickened up. It went a bit weird actually. I started getting little bits of white come through the front. I tried dying it, but it doesn’t work. Now I kinda like it, so I leave it. Makes me different, though. I guess I already have enough to make me different.
There, I’m sure he looked. A quick glance my way. Didn’t turn his head, just his eyes. Pretty intense eyes, I have to say. Damn, I think I’ve gone red. He’s started smoking a cigar. I love the smell of them. Reminds me of smoked meat.
I do a mental check of what I’m wearing: low cut t-shirt, tight black jeans tucked into heeled knee highs. Yeah, I think I look okay. I really shouldn’t be thinking like this. I mean, I couldn’t be with anyone. It’s too dangerous. I could kill him. I mean, I could kill anyone.
Shit, now I’m thinking about sex. That’s never a good thing, especially when I start dropping glasses like I just have. A huge cheer goes up, and someone shouts, ‘Touchdown!” I wave my hands at the cheers and laugh. He looks again a smirk on his lips. This time, I don’t look away; I smile.
Get a grip, woman, or should I say ‘girl’ because I’m only a little more than nineteen. I hope he doesn’t watch too closely and notice a few things. I’m all brass. I joke with the guys, carefully avoiding their come-ons. I’m cocky and mouthy, not afraid to tell them to fuck off, but as they walk away, I always let out this tiny sigh of relief. No one else notices it, not even Gina. I’m not scared, but I’m not as bold as I make out.
The evening passes quickly as he sits at one end of the bar; I’m convinced he is watching me now. Oh well, let him watch. I kinda like the attention. I try and move easily, with grace that hopefully matches older, more - I don’t know - intellectual women. I hand him another beer and meet his eyes with another smile when a strong hand slapped him on the back, breaking me out of it. “Hey, long time no see. How’s tricks?”
“Hey, Tony. Not bad, not bad. You still own this dump?” Tony sits his enormous ass on the bar stool next to sexy biker-guy. I can’t think of anything else to call him in my head, and I’m not asking his name. Tony’s stool creaks its dislike of the situation.
“Oh, I still own it…” Tony nods his head towards me and Gina. I move away from them and start wiping down the glasses out of the washer. I can still see sexy biker-guy and Tony in the big mirror behind the bar and hear then a little. “But I don’t run it anymore. Gina and Marie do a better job of that.”
“Gina, as in your daughter Gina?” Guess he paid more attention to her than I thought if he’s asking after her. Damn.
“Yep, the blonde, just like her mother. Attitude like her as well.” I see sexy biker-guy shake his head and let out a small laugh. He must remember Tony’s wife, Emily. Sexy, brash, blonde and likely to break your jaw if you looked at her the wrong way. She died about five years ago apparently. Cancer. “Hey Marie, another two beers over here, darlin’.”
I look up and catch Tony’s eye in the mirror. “Sure thing, Tony. Gimme a sec.”
As I reach into the small refrigerator under the bar, I catch the smirk on sexy biker-guy’s reflection. “What’s her story?”
Tony’s stomach shakes as he chuckles. “Oh, no, my friend. You won’t get anywhere with that girl.”
I suppress a very nervous giggle as I work the bottle opener on the two bottles of Buds in my hand. “Really and why is that?”
“Because no one ever does. She’s been living here for just over two years, and I ain’t never seen her with no one. They all try it, and they all get nowhere.”
“Tony, don’t make it a challenge.” Oh my God! I do not believe he just said that. I wonder if he knows I can hear him. I mean, yeah, the bar is noisy, but only over by the fight cage. This end has just a reasonable murmur and a little blues music. I catch a confused look from Gina, bless her. Years of loud music. She can’t hear a thing. I place the two Buds in front of Tony and sexy biker-guy.
“Thanks, honey.” I smile at Tony. Then biker-guy throws me a wink, and I walk back to Gina by the cash register. Yeah, he knows I can hear, or my completely red blushing face could have given it away. Smug bastard.
Tony laughs again, this time more heartily. “Logan, my friend, you be careful. There are a few folks in this little backwater that have taken to being a little protective of that girl. Including Val over at the dinner and that woman still hasn’t forgiven you for pulling up your pants and runnin’ the last time you flew through here.”
“She’s still angry?”
“Lets just say, don’t go in there alone.” Both of them are laughing now. Logan - better than biker-guy, and yuk - Val!
By the time 3am rolls around, Logan is still sat at the bar with a very, very drunk Tony. Gina and I have chucked out the last of the regulars and cleaned up, she counted up the cash and had already put it in the safe in the back room. Now we are sitting with them and enjoying a beer or two for ourselves. I don’t really drink much, but I like the odd one. I’m too worried about my skin, I suppose, never know what I could do if I got drunk. Gina is flirting shamelessly with Logan. Thankfully, Tony is too far gone to see how his daughter really behaves, bless him, but at least they have each other.
During a chorus of some old song that I don’t know or like, Tony’s awful singing causes him to fall off his barstool, and we all try and get the fat bastard up while laughing ourselves silly. Gina puts his arm around her shoulders and steers the man towards their home above the bar. “I love you, little Gina.”
“Yes, daddy, come on now.”
I’m still laughing as I come round the other side of the bar and pick up Tony’s fallen stool. Then I sit on it. It doesn’t groan this time. I’m a lot slighter than Tony, a whole lot.
Now, I think Logan’s drunk. He just gave me a wicked smirk. Bet he’s wondering what he could get away with or how long it would take to get me into bed. Sorry, honey, I ain’t Gina. “So, Marie, you live round here?” His eyebrows flick up in suggestion, and I blush slightly. I really need to stop doing that.
“Actually, yes. The trailer park. I rent a small one all to myself. Little blue door, a few fairy lights round the outside.” I kick myself a little, why am I describing my home to a complete stranger, he could be an axe murderer for heavens sake. He doesn’t look it though. He looks….decent.
“All to yourself, huh? You get much company?”
I think my smile must be a little infectious as I have him grinning broadly, or is it the beer? “Only Gina, and that’s kinda the way I like it.”
“Oh, oh, I see. So you and Gina, right… I get it, sorry. I didn’t realise that you were….uh, sorry, darlin’. I wouldn’t have hit on ya if I knew you were…”
“No! No, not like that! Gina is my friend, and she comes round for coffee and stuff. God, I’m not… you know, like that. I like men, you know, men, as in people who aren’t women. You were hitting on me?” Shit, the blush is back and more than ever. Damn!
“Yeah, darlin’.”
“Right. Um, I should probably get going, I have to work at the diner in the morning.” I move to the bottom of the stairs. “Gina, I’m off, honey. I’ll see ya tomorrow.”
There’s a muffled response that I can’t hear clearly, and he’s next to me quickly. “I’ll walk you home.”
“It’s fine, really. It’s not far.” Moving quickly, I turn the lights off and get my coat. I smile back at him. I like the look on his face and wonder why he likes what he sees, but then it’s probably the beer again. Though as I do the buttons up on my coat, I’m not sure if he’s as drunk as he makes out.
He grins again. I get the feeling he knows I’m trying desperately to figure him out. Wish I was a mind reader. That would be a cool mutation, cause I would love to know what’s he’s thinking, but it isn’t anything about mutants.
We walk out of the main door together. As we move away from the door I hear a muffled bye from Gina as she locks the doors from inside, then her steps disappear up stairs again.
“Don’t care how far it is. I’m not letting a nice young lady like you walk home on your own.”
I sigh, disappointed that he really is like every other guy. “Look, Mr… I’m sorry, what was your last name?”
“It’s just Logan, darlin.” Please stop calling me that. It’s ruining my ability to think straight.
“Right, well, Logan, actually, I would appreciate the walk home because there are some not so nice types hanging around, but I think I should probably make it clear…you ain’t getting nothin’.” I can’t stop staring straight into his eyes. The pure colour of them has me a little mesmerised. He is making me feel, not uncomfortable, but in some way aware of myself for the first time, like there maybe is something to look at, that someone would really want to look, and maybe I’m not what my parents made me think I am.
I can feel every part of me, every cell, every hair, and they are all excited by him. “Look, I’m not… that kind of girl.” I laugh at myself, rolling my eyes. “Now that’s cliché if ever I heard one!”
I don’t think he was expecting me to be so blunt, but I hope he likes it, likes that I’m honest. “Okay, Marie.” He scratches the back of his neck and smirks, which is cute. “Since we’re being honest. I was kinda making a play, seeing how far I could get, but if you’re not interested, darlin’, that’s fine. I can respect that. Some women, like you say, aren’t like that.”
“Okay then, so we’re, you know, clear on… that.” I’m looking into those eyes again - hazel, clear, and bright, and I’m finding it really hard not to smile. “Right, I’ll, um, see you around then.”
I guess that’s that then, but as I turn to walk away, he stops me gently with a hand on my arm. “Hey, don’t mean I ain’t walking you home, darlin’. And besides, gives me more time to change your mind.” I laugh. I can’t help it as we walk away from the bar and across the parking lot to the main street.
“Let me guess. By the time we get there, you will have charmed me out of my panties? Told you, sugar, I ain’t that kind of girl.”
“Okay, so what kind of girl are you? Come on, you got me curious.” Loaded question much! If only he knew, what ‘kind’ of girl I really am.
“I’m just a normal girl. Nothing interesting to see here.” I almost laugh bitterly at the statement. It’s just what my parents would have wanted. Nothing interesting about their daughter. “What kind of girl do you think I am?”
“Well...” He looks me up and down as we walk. Damn that blush again. “Nice, maybe a little naive, a little shy about certain things despite the bravado. Honest, decent. So, it begs the question, why are you in a place like this? I mean, I really can’t help wondering why the hell have you been hiding in this ‘shit-hole’ of a town?”
I pull my coat a little tighter, for want of something to do other than run away. “I’m not hiding, Logan. I just…” I watch my breath come out of my mouth and swirl away in a cloud of carbon dioxide and ponder what I really am doing here. “I guess I’m just giving myself a chance to be me. I’m being free. You know, be someone, somewhere and live a life.”
“Free from what?”
I don’t meet his eyes, even though I know he’s looking at me. I can feel it, which is strange. “It’s a long story. Mind if we leave it at that?”
“Sure. I have a few long stories myself. But there’s always something interesting about everyone, darlin’. You just have to look hard enough.” We walk past the motel and a few shops in silence. Then we cross another street and through the main gate into the trailer park. Stopping, he gestures to the selections of dilapidated trailers. “So which one was it, blue door and fairy lights?”
I chew my lip, still trying to figure him out. I can’t quite understand why he was still walking me home even though I had made it clear that he wasn’t getting anywhere with me. “Yeah. Over here.” I set off again, and he follows me once again. I wonder if he’s watching my hips sway. They’re not big, but they are a little out-there. My mother always used to say they’re like a dancer’s.
“This is me.” I put my back to the door, and he leans his hands on it above my head, so that his face is close to mine, no so close that I’m scared or boxed in, but close enough that I feel his breath on me. “Thanks.” God, I hope my breath doesn’t smell. He’s close enough to smell that, or anything else. Great, now I’m paranoid, and my heart is going crazy.
“You are welcome.” He’s so close, I shouldn’t like this. His body has got closer too, pressed against me slightly, but not too much. I should be pushing him away really, but there is just something about him, a masculinity I can’t resist, and I have to say I kinda like it, but I’m don’t want to hurt him. One stupid careless, un-concentrated touch and he’s out of it. “You sure you wanna turn me down?”
I fidget again, and a smirk spreads across his face obviously at what he sees as girlishness, but really, it’s nerves. I’ve never been this close to a man before, Cody doesn’t count, he was just a boy. “I’m guessing not many people do. Turn you down I mean.”
“Not that often, no. Any way I can change your mind?”
I swallow. “Um, yeah, no! I mean no. You’re nice, nice lookin’, and all, but I couldn’t do that, I mean… I just met you, like a few hours ago. It’s not really right.” He flares his nostrils slightly. Is he smelling me, cause that seems a little odd?
He backs away, and I thank god for the chance to let my heartbeat settle down, but his eyes don’t leave me as he speaks. “You’re kinda refreshing, ya know that?”
“Refreshing?” My confused expression amuses him, earning me another smile.
He shrugged. “Yeah, not many women round these parts are that, you know, ‘picky’.”
“Um, thank you, I think.” I blush again. Then I smile, and he does too. “Will I see you around?”
“Nah, heading out tomorrow, early.”
“Where are you headed?” Biting my lip, I don’t know why I’m is still talking and not going inside. Maybe I want to keep him talking, have him look at me a little longer. That stare makes me feel special somehow. I can’t describe it, and I don’t think I want to. I just don’t want it to stop.
“New York, Westchester. I work in a school, teacher.”
“Get out! You, a teacher? Of what?” My first thought is seduction, which makes my heart skip and has me smiling again. Down girl!
“Phys-Ed.” He flips open his jacket and gives me a quick flash of his clothed body, cocky bastard.
“Oh, I see. Can I call you coach?” He laughs. I like him. He makes me want to joke, relax. Not many people make me feel that way.
“Not if you expect me to answer, darlin’.” Laughing, I bend my head forwards a little, and some of my hair escapes from behind my ear. His hand reaches forward and tucks it back. Then he lets his fingers trace over the skin of my cheek. The movement silences my laughter in a second and makes my heart race again as I unconsciously press my cheek against his hand. God, I can hear it in my ears. Damn and there goes the heat, straight to my face.
I whimper a little as he draws his hand back, and damn if I didn’t shiver as well, from either the cold or the touch, I’m not sure. “It’s cold…”
“Yeah, it is. You better go inside.” He pauses as if to say something else, but then stops like he can’t place the words, or changed his mind about it. “It was nice to meet you, Marie.”
“Likewise, Mr. Coach.” I let out a small giggle before turning serious. “Goodnight, Logan.”
“Night, darlin’.” I turn away from him and fiddle with the lock, nervously fumbling until it gives way. Stupid thing. Once inside, I watch from the darkness of my window as he exits the trailer park and crosses the street. Then he was out of sight.
The Wolverine & Rogue Fanfiction Archive
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Author's Chapter Notes:
2. Lost and Lonely - Two years later – Marie at 19
Beta by Gama, who thankfully is back in the land of the living!
Beta by Gama, who thankfully is back in the land of the living!