Ah take it back.
Life is not a lot like a gala.
But Hell must be one helluva shindig.
Ah don’t know why Ah let John talk me into this. Why Ah agreed that maybe Ororo was extending the olive branch by asking me to help them on their reconnaissance outing to the Mayor’s big gala event. ‘Specially after Ah’d spent the day before bitchin’ about these things. Sure, Ah’m supposed to be smarter than that; smart enough to see that having a ‘cured mutant’ in the ranks could diffuse a situation, sharp enough to know the invite was a last ditch effort to make me feel Ah was still on the team. And damn sure clever enough not to do something when the Pyro in my brainpan tells me it’s a good idea.
Oh well. Too late now. Ah’m officially in hell. But at least Ah look hot to boot. Just get a drink in my hand, and maybe I’ll survive this.
Of course, she thought, Ah spoke too soon. Not one full second had passed before she surveyed the room and found she was not in good company. It was like a panoramic nightmare. Her eyes swept from left to right, and in that time she managed to recognize a few fellow freedom fighters. The ones whose good books, she was not in.
Rogue was sure that she must have flushed so furiously she matched the red satin gown Jubilee had leant her, because it was hard to keep her cool when Lorna Dane was staring right at her. Dear God, what circle of hell had she trounced into?
Doing a one eighty with surprising grace, she darted toward the thicket of people in the middle of the ballroom, luckily the only two people there she knew were Kitty and Bobby. Huh. Never thought I’d lump them in with my luck, she thought sarcastically. And as if to illustrate the point, Bobby leaned over, his arm looping around the petite girl’s waist, and planted a firm but sweet kiss on her cheek. Rogue rolled her eyes. First circle of hell, check.
God, even on missions they’re couple-y, she thought with a surprising amount of venom. Rogue may have been hurt by their tryst before, but the fact that they no longer seemed to care enough to hide it stung worse. But that’s what you get when you’re mansion enemy number one.
She thought better of her decision to head towards them and instead skirted toward the bar. Her glass was dry as a bone already, and she couldn’t think of anything better to do than hide in that glass. Of course, he would be standing there already, nursing his own glass of brown liquor. And as their eyes met, Rogue knew she couldn’t get away without saying hello. Which irked her to no end.
Sidling up to the rich, oaken bar, she pushed her glass, gave her order and waited. Waited for him to say hello first. And waited. Damn it, wasn’t he Canadian? Weren’t they supposed to be polite?
“Didn’t expect to see you here.” She grimaced at the sound of her own voice. She broke first. She could feel him shift at her side, but refused to look at him just yet.
“Could say the same for you.” His voice sounded gruffer. Grittier. Harder. And suddenly that frozen, stranded girl came roaring back and she felt her stomach flip.
“Just tryin’ tah be a team player.” She purposely thickened her accent before throwing her hair over her shoulder and looking at him with that doe eyed gaze she had down pat. He seemed unfazed. Didn’t even smile. Bastard.
“Surprised they let you leave the house lookin’ like that kid.” And he gulped down more whiskey. She looked down at her strapless, long, curve hugging, red satin gown that ended in a small train. He didn’t look the least bit impressed. Double bastard.
“Seein’ as Ah ain’t a kid anymore, sugah, don’t see they had any choice.” She was surprised at how serene that sounded, since at the moment she was torn between the fantasy of concussin’ him or kissing him. His mouth’s edge did quirk, but she wasn’t sure if it was a smile or a frown. Rogue’s lips had barely parted when she felt someone bump her shoulder, and reflexively she recoiled.
“Oh, I’m so sorry!” Rogue looked at the girl who had brushed by her, instantly focused on her red hair and grimaced. Her eyes darted to Logan. His eyes had darkened as well, but not for the same reason. After all, he liked redheads.
“No problem.” Rogue replied curtly, as the woman blushed prettily. She hated that.
“Mary Jane, come on, the Mayor wants to meet you.” A voice called from behind a wall of people. The rosy haired woman responded, tried to peer around them.
“Okay Harry, just let me find a clearing.” She called back, then turned to address Rogue again. “I hate these things, too many people, don’t you think?”
Rogue managed a bland “uh-huh” while the girl continued on her way, passing Logan as she went, his eyes following her for the briefest moment. And then her urge to concuss him won over.
“Well Ah better make the rounds, do mah duty, or whatever.” She thought she heard him begin to say something but she’d already twirled to face away from him and pushed her way into the crowd. This was always an exhausting thing for Rogue. Trying to remember that touch was okay now, while also trying not to forget that she had the strength to pitch an elephant across an ocean.
Emerging from the swarm, she had the sudden urge to gasp for air and fan herself but coming face to face with Lorna Dane put a damper on her sense of escape. Sure her telltale blanket of green hair was covered by a wig. Those pissed off green eyes were no one else’s.
“Lorna.” Was all Rogue could think to say as a greeting. She would never fake pleasantries. The green eyes narrowed. Maybe fake would have been better actually…
“You’ve got some guts, I’ll give you that.”
“Any chance you don’t want to spill those guts all over this dance floor?”
“Witty and gutsy. You’re a real class act, aren’t you?” Rogue could have answered but she knew it was sarcasm. And even with her entire wall of shit life crashing on top of her in the span of one evening, she figured that this was one encounter she was due. And she wasn’t the only one in her head who owed Lorna.
“Ah s’pose telling you Ah’m sorry for the hundredth time would be redundant…”
“I just don’t get you.” Lorna cut in, crossing her pale arms over her chest. “We genuinely trusted you, practically took care of you, and you put him in the hospital.” Rogue felt that stomach flip again, except this time it was accompanied by the impulse to throw up. “He’s still not the same. He’s only just started walking again, and his hands shake all the time-“
De shakes? Oh no. What good t’be a t’ief wit da shakes? Ah, Chere, why ya did dis to Remy, uhn? Fuck, Rogue swore internally, after a month of silence he had to choose this night to bob to the surface?
“-and the worst part is he still won’t say one word against you.” Rogue blinked. She didn’t know what to say. She already felt horrible enough. “Well?” She steeled herself up.
“Was there a question in there?” She replied as nonchalantly as she could. For a moment, Lorna looked like the top of her head would pop off and steam would billow out. Then that raging green fire in her eyes turned into bitter ash.
“Don’t you feel even a little bit guilty?”
“So that’s what yah want, is it? To say that Ah feel badly about what happened?”
“What you did-“
“Yah know what. Ah’m not talking to yah about this here. Because Ah told yah Ah was sorry, told yah both, Ah stayed with him as long as Ah could, and every day Ah feel that fuckin’ guilt that yah want me tah feel so bad, so don’t beat me down with what Ah did.” She was speaking heatedly, but low enough that the nearby crowd didn’t seem to notice. Feeling moisture behind her eyes collect, which was the signal that it was definitely time to run again. “Ah’m sorry.” There. One hundred ‘I’m sorry’s. Could she come out of time out yet?
Again, Rogue could have sworn she’d heard a reply. Marvelous job, that British jeer floated into her ear, you really are a wordsmith. The anger and gut wrenching sadness became fury.
Ya’ll’re one tah talk, Lehnsherr. Does she even know? Rogue called back, into the depths of her brain. Erik knew what she meant and she glowed at his pause.
Some things are best left covered, he replied delicately. If there was one thing Magneto didn’t excel at, it was being a father.
My, my, grown a set a’ morals, have we? Rogue skewered back.
It seemed to shut him up in the meantime. She had more pressing matters. Like the tears on the edge of her eyelids. Crying was not something she would do, not here where everyone who wanted to see her cry would relish it. Blinking rapidly, once she was satisfied no spillage would come, she made her way over to the white haired weather goddess. When your personal life kicks you in the teeth, there’s nothing like getting stuck into work.
“…Registration Act was never something Hank and I saw eye to eye on, but if push came to shove, he could convince me of anything.” Ororo chuckled in that sage way that seemed too old for her. Usually it soothed Rogue. Now it needled her.
“Excuse me.” Rogue said with a small cough, doing her best to remember her etiquette. Both eyes turned on her, and didn’t seem hostile. Her tension momentarily vacated, the first time the whole evening. “I was wondering if I could speak with Ms. Munroe for a moment.”
“This is one of the students from my school.” Ororo introduced, smiling widely and indicating for Rogue to shake the portly gentleman’s hand. “This is General Burke, an old friend of Dr. McCoy’s.” They shook hands. Rogue’s hand felt moist afterwards.
“I hope you’re enjoying yourself, young lady.”
A full ten seconds passed.
“Ah sure am.”
It seemed to appease him. He walked off to find someone else’s hand to dampen. “What is it Rogue?” It wasn’t said snidely, so Rogue remained relaxed. Ororo had turned to face her but those dark eyes remained on the crowd, probably scanning for her next target to haul on the mutant bandwagon.
“Well…uh…” Now that she was standing there, she really didn’t know what she was supposed to be doing. “Ah just wondered if there was anyone specific Ah should be talkin’ to, you know?” Finally their eyes met. And Storm smiled at her for the first time in over a month.
“Well.” She said, looking the younger woman over as if thinking. Rogue fidgeted with her sash. “Bobby flopped with Mayor Duncock…” She shook her head suddenly. “No, Logan said he’d take care of it.” Rogue had to suppress a snort. Logan’s diplomatic skills were questionable at best. “Actually there is one Government Doctor who has been eluding me all night. Perhaps you could take over the hunt?” She smiled again. Rogue felt her resolve breaking. That’s what happens when you’re a pariah. Any little bit of positive feedback is like food for the starving.
“Sure, he got a name?”
Forty five minutes later she managed to peel herself away from the Doctor Feelgood and made a beeline for the bar top again. Rogue let out a heavy sigh and pushed her finger through her hair once more. She felt someone gently pull her hand out of the long waves.
“Don’t ruin your hair.” A middle aged woman signaled she wanted another glass of the champagne and then tilted her head toward the Rogue, who was still shocked a complete stranger had just touched her. “I know what you people are doing here.” Rogue swallowed thickly and tried to look as naïve as possible. “Well, I hope you made an impression on the Doctor.” Well, he’d made an impression. A handprint on her hip at least. “I mean, an impression on Mutant Rights, not on the pros of playing doctor with a younger woman.” For a moment Rogue thought her jaw must have hit the floor. No sooner had the flute been handed to the woman, she walked off. Ororo slipped into her spot almost immediately.
“I don’t think I need to inform you,” her voice was tight and low, “that was his wife.” And then she walked off as well.
Ah. Hello circle number four. Well, so much for excelling at her mission tonight. Or keeping in Storm’s good graces.
It was like death by a thousand small cuts.
She wandered to the end of the bar, in a little nook where a solemn chair was propped up, probably for the waitstaff. Rogue shrugged and sat down, subtly pushing her chair father into the corner which was obscured by decorative plants. Maybe if she couldn’t see anyone, they wouldn’t notice her. She was sure that would make the evening more enjoyable for everyone all round.
It worked for about half an hour, Rogue only leaving her haven to get refills, and no one seemed to miss her. It was too perfect to last forever.
“Logan.”
“Stark. Rhodes.”
Satan’s balls. Did everyone need to make an appearance tonight?
“Good to see you again, man.” A sound, like a clap on the back. “Excuse me a minute though, I gotta check on the wife.” And then there were two. Rogue imagined she could feel her ears straining.
“Didn’t expect to see you hear tonight.” Can’t anyone come up with anything original anymore, Rogue thought as she sunk even farther into the shadows.
“Can’t say the same. I know you’d never miss a chance to flash your shit around the upper crust.” Her hand went to her mouth, both to stop the snort of laughter and the gasp of surprise. She knew he didn’t give two flying leaps but he was talking to Tony fucking Stark! She could see a hand clench around a drink, but she didn’t know whose it was.
“Fury called you too, huh?” She heard a grunt response, probably a yes. “No surprise then. Well, I’m sorry I couldn’t return the favor.” A gruff chuckle followed, and Rogue couldn’t help her curiosity as she peeked through the foliage to watch the exchange.
“No girl tonight?” It was said with an air of joking. Of camaraderie. But immediately the billionaire’s eyes flashed, and he didn’t smile.
“The only girl on my mind isn’t capable of being vertical, thanks to your pal Stripes.” Rogue froze.
Stripes. Her fingers absent-mindedly found her white locks at her cheek. Carol.
A thousand deep gashes. Dealt by a novice butcher.
There was a pregnant pause, and for the first time in a long time, Marie could feel real chest pounding fear roll off of her. She immediately sat back, curiosity be damned. It killed the cat after all.
“Back off Stark.” Logan growled, warningly. But now Marie could hear the other’s laugh.
“Or what? Are you gonna tell Fury on me?”
“You’re a juvenile bastard sometimes, you know.” Logan retorted around the rim of his glass.
“She’s not a scorch mark, I’d say that’s pretty damn big of me.” She saw their feet shuffle closer to her secret nook, and like a child she lightning fast grew her legs up, knees held fast to her chest.
“You so much as look at her sideways and I’d gut you.”
“Think you could?” The friendly banter was edging out of their voices and for a moment Marie envisioned a brawl breaking out.
“Check yourself squint.” Logan said dangerously, “Wearing the wrong suit to be actin’ like you own a pair.”
“If Carol were around, she could vouch for their existence.”
It was so fast that had she not been so paralyzed with fear, Marie would have squealed as just one claw was popped, only visible to the three of them. Well, four of them.
For fuck’s sake Tony, why do you have to go running your mouth? The Rogue part of her groaned at the Bostonian lilt’s words. And just like that it wasn’t only Marie but Carol behind her eyes. What was going on? Marie was desperate to know, but Carol was ignoring her and assessing her two teammates. That’s right, Marie suddenly remembered; S.H.I.E.L.D and the Avengers. Logan’s life without us.
“Bad taste, Tony.” Logan finally huffed. There was a deep baritone sigh.
“I know.” The claw retracted. “Way to keep a low profile, by the way.” Joke. It was sarcasm, a joke. The situation diffused, Marie slipped her mask back on and turned inward on Carol.
So, Rogue said coolly, you hook up with ALL your teammates?
Carol didn’t answer, skipping a beat was like an admission of guilt. Rogue laughed, Wow, Danvers, all that crap about feminine power an’ you’re just a plain lil’ whore!
You don’t have to be a bitch just because I slept with Logan and you haven’t. That soured Rogue a bit. Besides, it happened once, on assignment because we were lonely, it’s not like I’m as pathetic as you are, hung up on the Wolverine.
Am not, was the only sulky reply Rogue could counter with. This time Carol laughed. Rogue felt her resolve strengthen. And Stark? Was he just another bit of ‘comfort’. Silence. Come on, you coward, tell me!
Hush now Chere, de woman is not worth it. Rogue inhaled deeply and smelled cigarette smoke and cinnamon and it calmed her. Both men, they are fou! De stupid Stark man, ‘e only sleep wit’ Danver because ‘e is in love wit’ de Rhodes man, and she is de closest t’ing. Rogue giggled genuinely inside. And then she felt a pang of loneliness at the sound of his voice. Tell me you forgive me…
Before an answer could be given, Rogue felt a rough shake over take her body and her head knocked against the back of the chair hard enough for her to see stars. Well, no, actually all she could see now was Logan.
“You in there, kid?” He asked, preparing the shake her some more. She quickly lopped her small hands as far around his wrists as they could and nearly picked him up off the ground.
“Ah’m fine, Logan!” She insisted, instinctively glancing behind him. Logan smirked.
“He’s gone.” She nodded. Then paused.
“Who’s gone?”
“Don’t play stupid Marie, it’s not very attractive.” So she pouted comedically and in turn he chuckled. “Hope the wind don’t change.”
"Ah seem tah be charmin' enough, how 'bout you? Ah nearly keeled over right there when Ororo said YOU were talkin' to the Mayor 'bout the Registration Act." Logan sniffed.
"Don't have much faith, huh darlin'." She barely had time to soak in the endearment, "He said he'd make an appointment, some shit like that." She cocked an eyebrow.
"Yah believe him?"
"You don't?"
"Ah dunno...you trust a guy 'wose got the word "cock" in his name?" He just about snorted his whiskey through his nose.
"Jesus Marie, don't do that." He pinched the bridge of his nose as she aimed her best impish look at him. "An' you know the "ck" is silent..."
"He still signs his name-"
"Yeah, well you're the one sniffin' round the Fonze over there." He thrust one finger out across the room.
"That's DOCTOR Fonze." She corrected, "An' if you was watchin' us, why the hell didn't you help me outta there?"
"...then I couldn't watch."
“You ain’t no gentleman, sir.” Rogue laughed, her cheeks reddening.
“You know it.” And he winked, which moved her to give him her wide smile reserved only for him.
Then she remembered she was mad at him. She remembered that they weren’t buddies, or teammates, or a pair on the run anymore. It didn’t feel right for it to be this easy between them. Her smile disappeared lightning fast.
“Maybe you shoulda let him.” Logan blinked.
“Let who? What?”
“Stark. Maybe yah shoulda let him turn me into a scorch mark.”
“Marie…” But there were no words. She already knew why.
Right before he left, she touched his skin for the first time and that was when she’d discovered the cure hadn’t worked. Not completely. She pulled thoughts out of him and he didn’t even know. The last thing she heard him say were those thoughts:
“I’ve lost the three most important women in my life.
Jean’s dead, and I made her that way.
Carol’s in a coma, not spunky, tough-as-nails Ace anymore.
Marie’s not Marie anymore, not the same since Carol.”
“Rogue.” She said, because she had memorized everything already and it only took a nanosecond for the weight of it to hit her. “Remember, my name is Rogue.”
There. My seven circles of hell. And the last one surrounds me always. The cacophony in mah head. Erik, John, Carol, Remy, Logan. All Ah'm sayin' is if heaven is eternal peace, and hell the opposite, it’s safe to say Ah’m circlin’ the drain.
Life is a lot like Dante’s Inferno.
The Wolverine & Rogue Fanfiction Archive
Barely Legal Since 2000
Author's Chapter Notes:
Cameos from a few high profile Marvel Characters (not X-men). Enjoy, it's a long one.
Chapter End Notes:
Mary Jane Watson - Spidey's Gal
Harry Osborn (not seen) - Green Goblin
Lorna Dane - Polaris
Tony Stark - Ironman
Jim Rhodes - War Machine
Remy Lebeau - Gambit
Harry Osborn (not seen) - Green Goblin
Lorna Dane - Polaris
Tony Stark - Ironman
Jim Rhodes - War Machine
Remy Lebeau - Gambit