The air was thick and heavy with the heat. The fan on Logan's desk barely cut through the soupy atmosphere in his room. The sun was burning a hot orange in the sky and had been magnified through the windows of the mansion, heating it slowly all day.
Seriously, Logan thought, what a day for the air conditioning to break.
Most of the occupants were sprawled on the lawns, melting in the scorching heat, or draped limply over couches, arguing over fans.
He'd appropriated his desk fan from a group of hot and argumentative students who'd been vying for a position right in front of it in the rec room. He'd walked in, scowled at them, unplugged it and walked off with it under his arm.
The indignant wining had lasted for well over an hour apparently, as Scott had informed him when he came by to try and give him the relevant lecture about stealing school property.
Logan had just puffed his cigar and continued reading his bike magazine until Scott got bored and went away again.
Now he was bored too. Bored and hot and in the mood to be cantankerous. He idly wondered if Rogue's room was any cooler than his, and figured he'd go pester her anyway. She didn't seem to mind him lurking around and there was always the off chance she'd be wearing one of those tiny little shirts and really short skirts that seemed to pop up when it was hot.
What?
He was a guy, she was a girl... doesn't take a whole lot of math to work out the vital parts of that equation.
He'd long ago ceased to count her and her friends as kids. They'd proved themselves in battle a hundred times over and, as a consenting adult, a little leching was perfectly permissible. After all, if she was gonna' go round wearing less than Storm did half the time it really wasn't his fault if every guy in the mansion was a little dribble-happy.
Spending many happy hours just hanging out with her had most certainly been an advantage. She apparently just assumed dribbling was his natural state of existence and, while it was nice to get an eyeful every now and then (because after all he was only human) they were first and foremost just good friends.
His conscience grumbled slightly, but he told it to piss off and sauntered down the hallway to her room.
If you can't check out your friends, who can you check out?
And after all, the rumors had given them many hours of amusement.
He knocked gently on the door but she didn't hear him, strains of Nina Simone wafting through the wood.
He raised his brow in surprise at her choice of music, but it did seem to fit with the hot, lazy mood of the day.
He cracked the door open slightly and stepped inside, watching his step over the mounds of books, CDs and girly bric-a-brac scattered across the floor, not looking up for fear of stepping on something fragile.
The music echoed loudly in his ears, smooth and luxurious, and he looked up to see a very naked girl lying on the bed.
Very naked indeed.
He paused.
Her eyes were closed, oblivious to his presence, and her body gently undulated with the music, writhing against the sheets as the tune built to a crescendo, hair and arms splayed out sumptuously around her.
Her skin was wet, glistening as she moved, little beads of water running down her sides and between her breasts.
A trail of damp footprints led from the shower she had just emerged from and the towel lay discarded on the bathroom floor.
Logan had to scrape his jaw from somewhere around his boots at the sight of so much of her gorgeously exposed flesh, pale skin gliding effortlessly as her body stretched, impossibly long legs flexing before him.
The fan in the far corner was chilling her damp skin, shooting air across her body, her pale pink nipples hardening slightly with the cold.
His body had frozen to the spot as she flexed herself languorously in time with the music, her gently rounded breasts thrusting into the air as she gracefully arched her spine.
~It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life for me... Oh I'm feelin' good!~
The song ended, the brassy strains fading out and leaving the room suddenly silent. The heavy, humid air slowly settled on everything within reach, concentrating the scent of her in his nostrils. She was warm and soft and flesh and muscle, and even the shower had not removed the fact that she smelled as horny as an entire warehouse of antlers. She stretched like a cat, arching her back from the bed and moaning slightly as her muscles uncurled.
Logan got the odd sensation that this was quite probably one of the most erotic things he had ever seen.
She slowly opened her eyes, as if waking from a trance. She blinked sleepily at the ceiling a few times and began to sit up.
She caught sight of Logan just then and screamed in surprise, tumbling off the bed and dragging the quilt with her.
"Jesus, Logan! I'm naked here!" she shrieked at him, pulling the quilt hastily against her chest.
"Whu... uh, whu..." Logan still looked glazed.
"Logan!"
"What were you doin'...?"
She stared at him as if he had lost his mind.
"I was cooling off! In case you haven't noticed, it's hot!"
"But you were naked..."
"I know I'm naked, Logan. Will you get out of my room?"
"Bu... but you..."
"Oh for goodness sake..." She wrapped the quilt around her and shoved him out of the room. "There's no rule saying you can't be naked in your own room and, quite frankly, I wasn't expecting an audience."
She paused.
"What the hell did you want, anyway?"
He looked lost for a second, as if surprised to suddenly find himself in the hallway.
"Uh... you, lunch...? I dunno... something."
She rolled her eyes. "Well if you remember, come back then."
She watched him wander absentmindedly down the hall for a second before she suddenly remembered something.
"And for God's sake, next time remember to knock!"
LOGAN'S JOURNAL
Oh my... just, just... oh my.
I never knew skin could burn itself onto your retina.
I think I'm obsessed, because suddenly everywhere I look there's naked Rogues writhing about looking... well looking really damned appealing.
Beer! Beer'll work... Mmm, good, cold, manly beer...
Yeah, cold bottle. Good and cold and wet and... wet... very wet...
With little droplets of water slowly tricking down the sides, sliding over the curves of the bottle like they slid over the curves of her body and...
No, beer's not working.
Oh God, I am so screwed.
You know you're truly pathetic when not even beer works right any more. It's one of those "I know I shouldn't, but I just can't help myself" moments. I mean, I know she's not a kid any more, far from it in fact, but she's Rogue, she's Marie she's... really freaking hot.
To top that off she's also really horny. I don't know why I didn't notice it before because, boy, it's there. I guess I just wasn't looking.
I mean, it wouldn't be so wrong, would it? She's old enough to make her own decisions. No harm in testing the waters, is there?
What would laser-boy say on this? Woo her, Logan. Show her your sensitive side... blah blah blah... something undignified... flowers, candy... I have a stick up my ass, et cetera.
I think I captured his essence pretty well there.
OK, so plan one... carry on as normal. Let her make the first move. If it's not what she wants maybe it'll go away if I ignore it long enough.
ROGUE'S JOURNAL
CRAP! Logan saw me naked. This will lead to nothing good, you mark my words, but if I'm lucky he'll get over it quickly and we can get on with things as normal.
Maybe I should ask the professor for the installation of locks on bedroom doors?
So... first plan. Let HIM make the first move. Maybe he'll get over it all.
Note: Remember to set VCR for Springer. Jubilee wants episode on "You married your own mutant sister but she's cheating on you with your uncle. Now what?"
Girl is a severe nut but if it shuts her up, it's all good.
Rogue reached into the fridge, smiling as the blessed cool washed over her face. She grabbed a soda and dumped it down on the counter, leaning back inside again to cool off for a moment.
"I'm telling you, you sobbed like a girl," she mumbled from inside the refrigerator.
Behind her Logan grumbled and cracked the soda open, nudging away the video of Titanic they'd been watching the evening before.
"Like I told you then. I had grit in my eye."
"You're such a dumb-ass Logan," she smirked, closing the fridge door and opening a can for herself. "You can't lie to me. First your big brown eyes got all watery, and then there was that little sniffle... then your lip started to tremble, oh you were so PRECIOUS!"
"I did NOT cry!"
"What about that time the other week...? You cried then."
"My eyes were watering."
"You were crying."
"I was hit in the crotch by a baseball."
"So you cried..."
"My body was reacting..."
"To the urge to cry."
"I did NOT cry!"
He narrowed his eyes at her. "Hey, you're laughing at me aren't you?"
"Yes."
She grinned broadly.
He leaned in a little closer. "I can prove it to you if you want. You can grab a handful and give it a good squeeze..."
She scrunched her face up and swatted him round the shoulder. "LOGAN!"
He laughed.
"Quit being such a smart-mouth!"
"I thought you said I was a dumb-ass? How can I be both?"
She narrowed her eyes at him. "Theoretically, they're situated at opposite ends of your body, but in your case I'm still waiting for the conclusive proof."
"But I know ya love me anyway."
"She rolled her eyes at him.
"C'mon," he grinned. "Give it a shot. What have you got to lose other than a couple of hours and a bunch of endorphins?"
She scowled.
"You're a hideous flirt, Logan."
He looked hurt and she rolled her eyes again, ignoring Scott as he wandered past, hunting for something in the cupboard.
"You don't really want a relationship with me," she continued. "You just wanna' screw like bunnies because you saw me naked. That's not grounds for a relationship."
"He saw you naked?" Scott's eyebrows seemed to get lost somewhere in the stratosphere as they shot up in surprise
"Go away, Scott..."
"It was an accident," growled Logan.
"Yeah, he accidentally forgot to knock before barging in my room."
"I did knock."
"No you didn't."
"Yes I did, you just had the music up too loud to hear me."
"Well excuse me! Doesn't give you the right to go barging in unannounced."
"Well I didn't know you were gonna be humping the bed!" he replied, hackles rising.
"Uhh..." Scott looked uncomfortable and attempted to find a gap in the conversation.
"I WAS NOT HUMPING THE BED!" Rogue continued, completely ignoring him.
"Singing along to Nina Simone and writhing around naked, oh I think you were," huffed Logan.
"Lying naked on the bed does not mean I was humping it. You should know. It's not as if you and pajamas are actually even acquainted."
"How do you..."
"How do I know that? I know you Logan, I know you REAL well. All the stuff you don't tell anyone. I know it all. YOU..." She pointed accusingly at him. "You like to drink beer in bed. You like to try and suck the filling out of Twinkies even though it makes you sticky. You have a secret longing for kinky food sex but refuse to admit it because you worry that being found coated in whipped cream could damage your reputation. Coconut turns you on unbelievably well while that synthetic strawberry smell they use in soap turns you off again. You secretly like to read trashy romance novels, ostensibly to mock them but they seem to have grown on you in the past year or so because you have a couple of them hidden under your bed. And then, most amusingly of all, and my personal favorite, in the heat of passion you have the disconcerting habit of singing The Monkees' 'I'm a Believer' at the top of your lungs."
"That's not true." Logan glowered as Scott tried to smother his laughter.
She put on her best impression of Logan's "orgasm face".
"Oh yeah, oh, that's good... then I saw her face, *groan* nah nah nah nah, *grunt* now I'm a believer... Oh God that's good!... Not a trace... *pant, pant* of doubt in my..."
"You know," said Scott, "What with all that grunting she's doing too, it does sound an awful lot like you... But I'd have to hear it muffled through a wall to be certain."
"Don't make me hurt you, Summers."
He raised his hands is surrender and slid from the room, grinning broadly.
Logan turned back to the girl.
"Oh thank you so much for that."
"Not my fault. If you're gonna' make a scene in the kitchen, expect repercussions."
"You started it."
"Oh, grow up, Logan."
She rolled her eyes and pushed past him.
Rogue wandered to the rec room and slumped down heavily on the couch next to Jubilee. Logan followed a few seconds later, hot on her heels. He saw her sitting with her friend and sighed. He cast a slightly pained look in her direction before going back to the kitchen to find another beer, hoping that in the time he was gone she would have wound down and her friend would have had the good sense to leave. His reputation was taking enough of a beating as it was.
Jubilee watched him over the back of the couch then turned to Rogue, pouting petulantly beside her.
"What's up with big fuzzy over there?"
Rogue groaned.
"Logan's been acting all freaky since he accidentally saw me naked. We just got done 'discussing it' in the kitchen."
"Ohhh!" A look of understanding washed over Jubilee's face.
"What?" frowned Rogue
"He saw you naked... we were wondering why he was stumbling around drooling on his shoes all day."
Rogue closed her eyes and cringed.
"I can't deal with this Jubes. Save me, please!"
"No can do, chica. It is beyond even my powers to stop a rampant, wild, greater-libidoed Wolvie when he gets an idea into his head. Talking of which..."
"Hey kid, can I talk to you?"
He was back, tossing the empty beer bottle in the trash.
He drank fast.
"Go away Logan."
"C'mon, we need to straighten some things out."
"Can't. I'm busy with Jubilee here..."
"Oh no! You don't drag me into this mess," she smiled, sidling away. "See, now you're all free to talk to your Wolvie. Have fun kiddies! Oh hey, Logan, you have a... uh... spot of drool on your chin there..."
She bolted for the door before either one of them could attempt to kill her.
Rogue groaned, burying her head in the sofa.
"Look, can I sit here?" he pointed at the free space previously occupied by Jubilee.
Rogue tried to ignore him, but Logan was still hovering. She pulled her head out of the cushions and stretched herself over the available space.
"Nope. No room."
He sighed and stuffed his hands in his pockets.
"You don't like me right now, do ya?"
"Nope."
"Gonna' tell me why or am I gonna' be forever tormented and left to draw my own conclusions?"
"You mean apart from invading my privacy like that?"
"Aw, you're not still mad at me for that, are ya?"
She sighed, deflating a little, and scooted along the sofa to allow him room to sit down.
"Look, it's pretty easy really. I have no desire to have sex with you, ergo I cannot be your friend."
He looked lost for a second and she groaned inwardly.
"Hey, I know I have a reputation and all, but..."
He sounded kinda' hurt. That wasn't exactly what she'd meant.
"I didn't mean it like that. It's nothing personal."
"Sure sounded it."
"Don't sulk, it's not flattering."
He leaned into the sofa, waiting for her to continue. She sighed.
"It's a theory. Men and women cannot be just friends. Something always happens to spark off some serious U.S.T. and that's a recipe for disaster. It's a little too late for that bit on your part, but I'm bypassing the rest of it entirely to prevent any potential emotional trauma at a later occasion."
"U.S. what?"
He blinked at her in confusion.
"U.S.T. Y'see, "unresolved sexual tension" very quickly becomes "resolved sexual tension" and that's when all the trouble starts. The second you sleep together you can no longer be just friends. It becomes far too complicated for that. The action of getting down and grinding your crotches together seems to spark off an instinctive male urge to become distant, paranoid and completely inexplicable to all but his closest social, male groupings."
"A male urge, huh?"
"Exactly. Men and women have different prerogatives in a relationship. The two are therefore incompatible. Women seek to build a secure nest for raising a family and filling that nurturing void left by an every more loudly ticking biological clock, while men are just after sex. The second the UST becomes RST the woman seeks to nest while the man tries to run quicker than a greyhound that's been force-fed laxatives."
"So we're only after sex then? That's kind of a negative view, Darlin'."
"C'mon Logan. You're a guy. Everything's about sex. If it moves, fuck it. If it doesn't, fuck it till it does. If it still doesn't, steal it, take it home and then fuck it. You're simple creatures."
"Fair enough."
He glanced at their position on the sofa.
"You want to get your hand off my ass, then?"
"No. You wanna' get your hand off my boobs?"
"Not really, no."
"Fair enough then."
"Good."
"You wanna' have sex now and bypass the UST bit entirely?"
"Sure."
Lips quickly tangled, her mouth crushed against his and breathing becoming strangely hard as they battled passionately against each other.
His tongue thrust into her mouth, eagerly met with her own as she clutched at his hair, holding his lips to hers.
She moaned as they pulled apart for a second, breathing heavily.
"Thought you said you didn't want this?" he panted.
"I lied."
She reclaimed his lips, kissing him roughly, feeling his hands wrap around her back and pull her into him, bodies locked together with his arms.
She squirmed closer, rubbing herself against his body, making his breath catch hard as she pressed her hips roughly into his.
"Hey, chica, before I f-WOAH!"
Rogue froze as the small whirlwind of yellow that had just burst through the door suddenly seemed to run all out of steam.
"Jubes..."
"Woah, hey, no need to explain, I'm SO outta' here."
"Jubes, wait!"
She grinned widely and spun back out of the room, ignoring her friend's cry.
"Oh crap, she will have SO gotten the wrong impression..."
Logan went back to kissing her neck, speaking between each gentle peck of her skin.
"That's not... possible... There's only... one... impression... to get."
"Damnit!" She sighed.
He grinned lasciviously at her.
"Now where were we?"
She pulled herself partially out from under him and frowned.
"Get off me Logan..."
He looked confused.
"What... what'd I do?"
"I really don't want to have sex with you."
"But just now you said..."
"I was stolen away in the moment."
"You were as horny as I was a second ago."
She pushed him off the couch and he landed with an "oomph" on his butt. She gracefully stepped over him and headed out after Jubilee.
"It was a mistake Logan... really, I'm sorry, it won't happen again."
She left the room and he slumped backwards, sprawling himself fully on the floor.
"Aww, crap."
LOGAN'S JOURNAL
It was heavy in the air with her there...
Sex. Raw, wanting, hot, passionate sex. Leap on you and fuck your brains out sex. Screw the consequences, in fact screw anything in a 20' radius because she really wants it BAD kind of sex.
I can smell it on her so strong I can almost taste it, it's that powerful.
Damn Jubilee... I am going to KILL her.
She wanted me like I want her, but there was something stopping her. The kid with the yellow was just an excuse... an annoying excuse, but an excuse none the less.
She's inhibited and inhibitions are a bad thing, especially when she leaves me lying on the floor, hard as a rock when I was so damned close...
Christ on a blue bike, that woman is stubborn.
And damn the fact that somewhere along the line I seem to have acquired some morals. Why couldn't they have taken those instead of my memory, huh? Then I wouldn't be having this problem. Forget about the inhibitions, just get her on the couch and show her what she's missing...
Or on the bed... or on the rug... or on the pool table... or-
*Undignified whimper*
Moments like this could seriously turn a man to drink.
Which really isn't such a bad idea now I come to think of it.
ROGUE'S JOURNAL
Nearly had sex with Logan on the couch.
This is not a good thing.
Really, really it's not good...
Watched Jubilee's Sally Jessy tapes, 4 episodes of Oprah, a Jenny Jones and half of Montel, and I'm still no closer to working out what's going on.
Note - set VCR for Springer tomorrow... show on mutant hookers who married their human relatives and are all, by some glorious, twisted co-incidence, having affairs with the same therapist.
Jubilee insists it's relevant for human-mutant relations study. I think she's just a perv.
It was late the following evening before she saw Logan again.
Rogue was working out in the gym, and that was where Logan found her, hot and sweaty from exercising.
He pushed the door open and sauntered over to her, a jug and glass in hand. She stopped the treadmill and looked at him suspiciously as he stopped before her.
"Logan... what are you doing here?"
"I thought you might be thirsty. I brought you some orange juice."
He poured her a glass and handed it to her.
She was taken aback. Even when he was trying to apologize he wasn't usually the drinks waiter kind.
"Oh, that's sweet..."
"Nah, just drink it. Things have kinda' been a little awkward between us the past couple of days. It hadn't escaped my notice that you'd been kind of... avoiding me, and I want to try and make it up to you."
He tried to grin reassuringly.
"That's really nice of you, Logan. I'm glad you understand." Sitting down on the mats with him she smiled warmly. "It's not that I don't still like you or anything, but this has all been so awkward..." She looked flustered and gulped down the juice. It kicked at the back of her throat and she wrinkled her nose.
"Something wrong?" Logan asked.
She noted the concern on his face and felt kind of guilty for wincing so visibly. He was trying to make this up to her. It wasn't his fault the OJ had apparently gone off.
"No, nothing... nothing really, just... this OJ tastes a little weird, that's all..."
"Oh?" he said, pausing halfway through refilling her glass. "It's not gone off has it? Oh crap, I'm sorry, this was stupid... a stupid idea, I'm sorry, I'll..."
He started packing up the things, looking miserable and frustrated and annoyed all at once. Rogue stopped him with a hand on his arm and he turned to look at her, his eyes oddly large and soulful, like those nauseating creatures in Disney cartoons.
Her heart lurched in her chest.
"No! No, Logan, it's OK, really."
"Really?"
"Yeah, c'mon, bring it back, OK?"
She took the glass from his hand and swallowed the contents, hiding the grimace as it went down. He beamed at her and filled the glass again.
She sighed internally.
Two glasses later she was staggering slightly too.
A glass after that and she started to suspect that there was something very odd about this orange juice.
Logan...?" She peered blearily into her glass, squinting at the contents.
"Yeah, darlin'?"
"Seriously. What did you put in this? Vodka?"
"I wouldn't do something like that."
She sniffed the contents and squinted drunkenly at him.
"Yes you would."
"Just shut up and drink it, darlin'."
She pursed her lips in a mock frown and downed the contents without hesitation.
"Logan, I have no idea why you are trying to get me drunk, but topping up the jug with Smirnoff isn't the most covert way to do it." She refilled the glass herself this time.
"Uh..."
He looked slightly panicked for a second, as if something blindingly obvious had only just occurred to him. Rogue glanced at Logan from the corner of her eye.
"It was just this jug you did, right...? Not the whole bottle, right?"
"Yeah, yeah sure..."
He made a mental note to retrieve the rest of the orange juice before Scott got hold of it.
"C'mon, Logie."
She patted him on the back. "A girl can't get drunk on her own." She grinned and dragged the fingers of one hand through his hair, grabbing his scalp and tilting his head back. She pressed the lip of the jug to his mouth and poured a slow stream of the orange over his tongue.
He swallowed the sweet liquid and lounged backwards onto the soft matting, deciding to ignore her decision to call him "Logie" as she'd leaned back on the mats with him and was idly running her fingers round his ear, his head pillowed comfortably on her arm.
It felt so good... the way her fingers were trailing slowly along the sensitive skin behind his jaw and back up to his ear again. Her touch was unwittingly sensual, tracing the outline of his cheek before skipping up to his temple and lightly feathering through his hair. He couldn't stop the approving mumble that escaped his chest.
She paused and propped herself up slightly to look at him.
"Logie... you're purring!"
She keeled over sideways and started laughing hysterically.
Logan paused.
"Rogue, darlin, how much of that juice did you..."
His hand knocked over the now empty jug and that answered that question.
"Oh nuts..."
She stopped her laughing and stared at him for a second, an oddly serious expression on her face.
"Logie, I really do like you, you know."
"I know, darlin'," he muttered distractedly.
"Logie...?"
She'd started yanking her top over her head and her breasts were virtually thrust in his face as she squirmed to get out of her shirt.
On his part, Logan made a slightly strangled moan that was probably a "yes?".
"Logie... will you kiss me?" The shirt went flying across the gym and landed on top of a stairmaster like a flag.
He didn't even get the chance to answer because her mouth was on his and her tongue was in his mouth and he could taste the sweet juice and the vodka and lots and lots of very delicious girl...
He moaned happily, running his hands down her back until she started giggling again.
Then she pulled back and burped at him, swaying slightly.
"Uh, Rogue?"
"Yeah, sugah?"
"Rogue, honey, I think you're a little bit TOO drunk here, darlin'..."
She pouted at him, thrusting that oh-so-edible lower lip in his general direction.
"You don't wan' me to beg for it, do ya?"
"Oh God..." he moaned, dropping his head back into the matting. Images of her begging for more and writhing under his body like she'd writhed on the bed that day started flooding into his mind.
Here she was, throwing herself at him and... and he was turning her down.
Damn it, it was those stupid morals again. He'd wanted to get her a little drunk but, hooo, she was DRUNK. Not just loosened inhibitions drunk but slurring and weaving and totally incapacitated drunk. Maybe he'd over estimated just a little on that vodka. This wasn't exactly what he'd had in mind. Tipsy, yeah, cause damn it he was an opportunist, but...
But on the other hand she really wanted it too. He could smell it on her like a drug, the burning need coursing through her veins...
But she wasn't capable of making a rational decision.
But she WAS capable of sitting on his crotch and grinding herself into it... kind of like she was doing right now.
He moaned loudly.
"Logie...?"
She squinted at him blearily, running her hands drunkenly yet provocatively over herself. "Logie, don't you want me...?"
Before he could reply she keeled over on top of him, snoring and drooling slightly on his chest.
Logan groaned. "If there's an afterlife... I'm gonna' burn in hell."
Jubilee stretched and whacked the ringing alarm clock off the bedside table and into a little heap of clockworks on the floor.
"Morning," she slurred sleepily.
Rogue was already awake, staring blankly at the ceiling. She grunted in response and Jubilee rolled over to look at her.
"You OK? You sound a little distracted and it's not even 9 o'clock yet."
"Hmm...? Oh, yeah, I'm fine, I just had the weirdest dream last night."
"Oh?"
"Yeah. I dreamed I was trying to make out with Logan."
Jubes scratched her nose and pouted.
"It's your subconscious telling you something."
Rogue rolled over to stare at her.
"Like what?"
"That you need to find a man and you don't think Logan's it."
"How'd you work that one out?"
"Well it's a dream isn't it? They always show like, the opposite of what they mean."
"Thank you for that great insight, Dr Lee, but I don't think it works like that."
"Well what do you think it means?"
"I think it means Logan spiked my orange juice and rendered me unconscious last night."
Jubilee sat bolt upright in bed.
"He what?!"
"You heard."
"You don't think he, like...?"
"What? Logan? Not a chance. The man does have a conscience in there you know. Plus, I was the one chugging back the Smirnoff even after I worked out it was in there."
"Oh yeah, I forgot you had him, like, inside you."
"Plus, I think I fell asleep before I did anything stupid. In fact I'm pretty certain I did."
Jubilee scratched her head.
"So what's it look like? His conscience, that is?"
"What?"
"Well is it like one of those little Jimminy Cricket deals or does his conscience growl and have too much hair too?"
Rogue glanced at her friend.
"It doesn't have a personification, Jubes... it DOES have a really strong Canadian accent though."
"Do they get crickets in Canada?"
"Shut up, Jubes."
"I'll tell you what your dream means, Rogue. It means you seriously need to find yourself an FCB. Preferably one that isn't going to drool on himself every time you walk past."
Jubilee swung herself out of bed and started rooting around in the closet.
"I mean," she continued, waving her hands in the air. "Not that Logan doesn't have his own brand of animal, growly, raw lustiness, but it's not all romping about and having wild sex in public places."
Rogue frowned. "We weren't having sex, and what the hell is an FCB?"
Jubilee rolled her eyes. "Yeah, whatever, look you need to find one of the elusive FCBs and badly. Fantastically Cute Bloke hunting takes skill and trust me, they are a rare species."
Rogue raised an eyebrow. This was going to be a long day.
"No, Logan... Logan's got FCB attributes. I mean, he's got the chest and the ass and the arms and... well generally he's really good to look at, and when you see him you just kinda' want to grab him and..."
"Jubilee...?"
Jubes coughed apologetically.
"Sorry. But basically... Logan, he has a bad case of CMS, chica, and that really won't work at all. An FCB with CMS?" She rolled her eyes. "Not a chance."
"CM-what? Jubes, you're starting to sound like a dictionary of acronyms here."
Jubilee creased her brows at her friend and exhaled in annoyance. "God, woman...Anyone would think you never watched Oprah. CMS - Crappy Male Strop. You know, that crappy male sulking thing they do when you point out that they're not good at something and their fragile male ego can't cope with it?"
"Oh, I get it," she lied.
"Good. Now we're all on the same page here, back to the FCBs. Now, all FCBs all need a ski lodge so cold climates are a good place to start... so Logan does have the Canadian connection but..."
"But I don't ski."
"Doesn't matter. They all need a ski lodge with an open fire and one of those big, white, fluffy, flokati rugs."
"A what? Jubes, how many men do you think own a ski lodge with flokati rugs? Not that many. Why the hell do you need the rug?"
Jubilee looked at her like she'd gone insane.
"You need the rug to do that cat thing!"
Rogue stared at her blankly and Jubilee bobbed slightly with impatience.
"You know? Do the cat thing. Nuzzle and rub and roll around on the big fluffy white rug, because it's just so soft and fluffy and... sensual, and it feels really good when you get naked and rub yourself against it..."
"Jubes, I don't think..."
"... and you have an unreasonably gorgeous FCB, and the open fire's crackling and it's snowing outside and he's made you both cocoa because it's cold, but it's hot inside and you both end up on the rug and you're writhing about because he's cocooning you between his body and the rug and it just feels so good, and..."
"JUBES!"
"What?" she replied, dreamily.
"I don't like flokati rugs."
Jubilee blinked at her like she had suddenly sprouted a second head.
"There is just no helping some people."
"I really don't know what her problem is," pondered Kitty, hanging upside down off the end of the bed.
She'd been fully briefed about the couch and gym incidents and was now devoting her time to pondering Rogue's apparent mental condition. "I'd be all over him like a bad case of herpes if he so much as gave me the time of day. Someone should really take her aside and point out this minor fact. A fact which she seems to have overlooked. I mean LOOK at him. Look at HER!"
Jubilee glanced up from her magazine, peeling her eyeballs away from a half-naked Jude Law.
"Look at her what? I've lived with that girl, I've seen everything already."
"But her and him... they make such a cute couple, don't they? He's so... so... drool-ish and she's just..."
Kitty held her hands about four inches from her chest, miming a substantial bosom.
Jubilee flicked the page over. "Yeah, well I suppose you got that right. She has big hooters and Logan has no sense of subtlety."
"That's not what I meant. I mean she's gorgeous, he's gorgeous, they're just destined to live gorgeously, happily, perfectly ever after and have gorgeous, perfect, miracle babies that don't cry all night."
"If they're related to Logan they're gonna' be screamers. You've heard him sing, right?"
Kitty carried on, oblivious. "He's got the nicest ass and that dreamy stomach... She has tits like rocks and the pert buttocks of a 10 year old Chinese boy..."
"Yeah, on her mantelpiece, in a jar."
"And he... hey, Jubes?"
"Yeah?"
"That's really gross."
"What are we doing up here Kitty?" whined Rogue, being forcibly led through the mansion's basement to the observation dome above the danger room.
"There's something I think you should see..." said Kitty, grinning from ear to ear.
She pushed the door open and dragged her friend to the window, dropping to her knees and pressing her nose against the glass, points of contact meeting exactly with the greasy smears already plastered over the pane.
Rogue frowned. "I did wonder where you'd been all this time. You've been down here leching at the guys!"
"Not just ANY guy," grinned Kitty, nose still smooshed against the window. "Look..."
Rogue peered out into the simulated landscape beyond, the immaculate Japanese temple glowing gently in the late evening sunshine.
Logan was on the steps, eyes closed in concentration as he focused on moving his body through the intricate nuances of his martial arts practice.
Rogue rolled her eyes. "What's the deal, Kitty? It's just Logan."
She hoped the slight quivering in her stomach wasn't transferring to her voice.
Kitty choked, peeling her eyes off his body long enough to stare wide-eyed at her friend.
"JUST Logan? Y- whu-... JUST Logan?" she stammered. "When was the last time you looked at him for God's sake?"
"Just now when you-"
"No, I mean REALLY looked at him?"
Kitty grabbed her confused friend and dragged her closer to the window.
"LOOK at him..."
She pointed to the figure on the steps, bare chest catching the palest of highlights from the dimming light.
He moved fluidly through his routine, the barest of smiles traced along his lips as he flexed his body, sinew and muscle flowing smoothly beneath the skin like water.
Rogue swallowed slowly, watching the lazy path of a bead of sweat as it trailed from the middle of his chest, trickling slowly over that perfect, tight stomach and then down his abdomen before vanishing into the waistband of his pants.
She blinked hurriedly, bottom lip pulled between her teeth as she realised her finger had traced the pattern down his body on the glass.
"Oh wow..."
Kitty nodded emphatically.
Oblivious to their presence above him, Logan continued his routine, turning slowly as he worked his way thorough the movements.
"Oh the back as well... I got down here just in time..." murmured Kitty, squooshing her nose back against the glass, swallowing the wistful moan as the muscles down his spine flexed gracefully.
"Can't you just imagine running your nails over that? Biting that shoulder and licking your way down that chest.... Wow, you can just picture the look on his face while he screws you into the ground, going at it like greasy ferrets on a pole, huh Rogue...?" She looked around. "Rogue?"
But the room was empty.
Rogue burst into the bedroom, flushed and panting, leaning back against the door as if she were afraid that something would burst through it behind her. She'd got as far as the idea of being screwed into the ground and then bolted.
"Jubes, you have to help me."
Jubilee looked up, concern etched on her face.
"Rogue? What's wrong?"
"I've had a hideous realisation. It's Logan. I'm fighting the urge to oil him up and lick him all over."
Jubilee pulled a face
"I did not need that image!" she groaned. "Chica, will you make up your mind? One second you're hot an' heavy on the couch, the next you're hiding in here. What's going on with you two?"
Rogue sighed and slid down to the floor. "I dunno, I guess... I guess I just never really thought of him that way before, you know? And now... now he's all over the place and suddenly he's a GUY, you know? A really cute, sexy, I want to fuck your brains out and I don't know why, kinda' guy."
"Was that last bit referring to you or him?"
"I think both of us..."
"Then what's holding you back?"
"How does a desperately misplaced sense of pride sound?"
"Sounds like you have a problem."
The two stared at each other for a moment.
"I have to do something Jubes. I can't give into him, he'll be so insufferably SMUG."
"You have to make him cave first, Chica. You gotta toy with him, drive him out of his little pinhead guy-mind. He's trying to make you come to him. He knows you want him, he's just not willing to admit how much he wants you because he's a guy and guys, by their very nature are big and dumb. He's trying to get you to make the first move because he knows you're good for it. You have to make him fall apart at YOUR feet first."
"Oh great Yoda of all things torment-related, how do I go about this heinous task of torturing a Wolverine?" she pleaded, bowing low and scraping the floor before her friend's feet.
Jubes grinned. "Ah, simple it is. Use the force, say I."
She leaped across the room and started burrowing in the closet, hurling clothes and books across the floor. She emerged, triumphant, holding what looked like half a mile of wet-look PVC with heels on.
"Here, wear the 'come fuck me' boots!"
Rogue looked at them in terror.
"I'm not wearing those!"
"Why not?"
"I don't WANT him to come fuck me."
"Yes you do."
"OK, I do, but he doesn't need encouraging."
Jubilee threw them back in the closet. "OK, but I know how much guys love the 'come fuck me' boots... you'll have him groveling at your feet just for the honor of being trodden on as you walk past with these babies."
"I'm still not wearing them."
"OK, OK, I'll lay off the boots. On one condition though."
"What's that?"
"That after you've snagged the Wolvie, you wear the boots just once, because I REALLY want to see the look on his face."