Sex education.....remember that Dad? Remember that day you signed the paper from school that allowed me to be included in the sex education lecture? Do you remember right after you signed that paper you had sat down with me and explained what sex was, not that I didn't already know from all of the students at school. Do you? Well, I'm just asking because everytime I lay down at night in the same room with this stranger I'm staring at right now, the word masturbation pops up in my head.
Masturbation. Not exactly the cleanest word that is appearing in my head over and over again, but a word that I have mixed feelings for. See, Dad, since your not exactly here anymore, I can talk to you more about sex than I really ever wanted to because I'm not scared of how you'll look at me when I ask the things I'm about to ask.
My Sex Ed. teacher, Ms. Smtih, said that it's perfectly normal to masturbate. Perfectly normal. And all the guys in my grade had gladly confessed to masturbating everyday and they said it feels real good. Well, let's just say that I tried it that night....heh.....and nearly barfed. It hurt, Dad! No one said it was going to hurt! And remember my best friend Shelly that I had in the 8th grade? Yeah, well I told her about it, so the next day I went over to her house and we looked it up online. It said that it would hurt at first, but get better. You know, feel better. Hah! Was that a load of bullcrap! I spent ten minutes in pain that same night waiting for the goodness, but it never came! I tried all different things to make it good, but it never worked. So, since then, I've labeled myself the Forever Virgin. If I can't handle two measly fingers, how can I ever handle a.....oh, gross. I don't know if I'm having this conversation with you or myself, Dad. I say it's you, but I know I'd never ever talk to you like this. Instead of talking to you like my dad, I've made you this little pigment in my mind that's like my psychiatrist. A psychiatrist with the name of "Dad". But I figured out that I'm not talking to you, Dad, so just ignore whatever you just heard, because I sure was not talking to you. You know, the you, "you". You know?
" Just because my eyes are closed, doesn't mean I'm blind." Logan's rugged voice ran through my ears as I began to feel myself burn hard. He sighed and made his eyes open a little, the hazel color rolling toward me through the small slits. " What do ya need?"
Clearing my throat and quickly averting my eyes to the cieling fan, I searched my mind for something important to say so he didn't have the excuse to comment that I waste my breathe everytime I open my mouth. Think, think...a topic that would be reasonable to ask about in Logan's eyes......masturbation? I'm on the topic myself anyways.....heh, yeah right. Hmm.....
" Who was that woman at the liquor store the other day?" I asked, trying not to seem too excited that I found something decent to ask about. I kept my eyes on the cieling fan that seemed to have collected dust on the smooth plastic as I heard Logan take a deep breath and shuffle around in his bed.
" Aimee. She was some chick me and your dad met a long while back at a bar...." his voice didn't hide the reluctance that he didn't want to expand on this Aimee girl, but hearing that my dad knew her, I wanted to know more about this woman.
" Were you guys like good friends?" I asked, flipping on my side to face him, strands of my dark hair getting in my view of his perfect body. He lay on his back, one hand tucked snuggly beneath his head, the other lying uselessly on his buff chest that I couldn't take my eyes off since it clearly showed it's masculinity through the thin beater that I preferred wasn't even there. His eyes were focused above, the stare on the cieling becoming so intense I beleived it was about to start breaking and caving in.
" Not exactly, kid. You should get some sleep, now. We're leaving early in the morning." During that statement, the only thing that moved were probably his lips and tongue and whatever else was needed to speak. He stayed stone stiff, as if he was frozen. But I could see a memory slowly playing in his eyes, and I knew that he was hiding something.
" What do you mean, 'Not exactly'? " I pressed, adjusting my weight as I supported myself on one elbow, leaning in closer in the empty space between our beds as I waited for the answer. I watched as his chest moved up and down as he breathed, making it quite hard to hold in the drool that I was creating from watching his every move. A little stalkerish? Uhm, yeah, but I don't care. Logan's the only good looking guy I've came within ten feet of in the past couple weeks.
" It means not exactly, kid. There's no damn secret meaning behind it. Just get some rest, alright?" his eyes shot me an irritated look before closing into a light rest from the exhaustion that clearly took over.
Okay, well I guess that stops me from pressing anymore buttons. I switched off the lamp and stared up at the cieling that I wouldn't be able to see until my eyes adjusted in the darkness that now filled the motel room. Okay, Dad. I'm talking to the real you, now. Not the little psychiatrist in my head. I have to ask you a question. You probably know Logan far more better than me, and I just wanted to know what to do next. If you were here right now, and we were having a conversation, you'd probably say something like, " What do you mean, Marie? I'm always hear to listen and help, but I can't if your giving me only one piece of the puzzle that you need help solving." Yeah, I probably hit the nail right on the head, huh? Well, what I mean is that I'm finding him much more attractive than I should be. See, number one is that he's my guardian, like a parent. I can't start being attracted to my parent! No, ew, no. That cannot happen. Number two is that he scares the crap outta me. Now, excuse the language, but Dad, he really does! How did you travel with him for a whole 14 years? I'm about to die from 11 days! 11 days, Dad! Oh, hah, can't forget the third reason! If he was best friends with you, he's like near 50, right? Give or take a few years, but I might as well be attractive to an old man! You know, they said it's pretty common for women to be attracted to older men, but almost 30 years older is too old! Whew, if I ever have kids, I hope I never have a daughter as complicated as me. Heh, I don't think I'd wanna go through all of what I just said to you, Dad.
Now, back to my psychiatrist. Back to masturbation. Should I give it another go tonight? It'd be kind of risky with Logan around because I tend to squeal a little, but I've learned to bite my tongue when around him.
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That smell.....oh, Owen. I'm not going to open my damn eyes to scare that girl, but I smell two things that just jammed themselves up my unwilling nostrils. Pain and Sex. Too strong. I hear her squirming in her bed a little, silent gasps of pain escaping into the quietness of the room. Oh no, Owen. Your daughter....your daughter....in the bed next to me......heh, you gotta be shitting me, Owen. I don't even want to say what your daughter is doing right now. All I can say is that she's freakin crazy! You couldn't warn her about my senses, could you Owen? This is the last thing I need to smell from her. The last damn thing, and here it is! Lingering in my nose and head. She couldn't do this shit in the bathroom? No, she had to do it right here. What a fuckin' awkward moment. Your daughter is so fu-
" Ahh..." she said under her breathe, so silent I could barely hear it. Opening my eyes a little, I could see that her eyes were closed and her body slowly deflate into the mattress as a smile cautiously played on her lips. The thick brown blanket was pulled and tucked securely under her chin. My eyes wandered through the small openings in my eyelids over the curvature of her body under the blanket. They roamed over the hill, no, mountain that her breasts created and down the flat area where her stomache was. Now, Owen please keep your sight away from this room. A small lump moved slowly up and down over her crotch area under the blanket and I really felt everything at once. Laughter, because this moment was too inappropriate that I had to just laugh at it. Anger because it began to feel like my jeans were shrinking. And disgust that I was even seeing what I was seeing and thinking what I was thinking.
Owen, if you were here right now, you'd know what to do or say. Damn, I wish you were here right now. Get me outta this situation. I got a 17-year old girl, no, wait. I got ~your~ 17-year old girl in the bed next to me pleasing herself in a way that should be done in complete private. In complete private because I'm ready to rip her clo- No, No. I can't think of this..No, no. Damn, I'm just gonna go back to sleep, and pretend this never happened.
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Chapter End Notes:
Oooh, this chapter was a little risky for me to write. I went completely different from what I was originally gonna write. I wasn't completely thinking when I wrote this. My fingers just kind of moved and I just watched what they wrote. Oh, I sound crazy huh? Hah, sorry, but please rate and review on what you think about this shaky chapter that really came out of no where. Thanks! Also, I will be posting more rapidly again, so stay close! Thnaks again!