Have you ever tried lying to a child? If you haven’t, then you wouldn’t understand how hard it really is. They look up at you with these big eyes expecting you to be able to challenge the world and make it right. Now put those eyes in the body of a woman, better yet a woman you might actually care for, and the results can be devastating. This was the exact reason why I couldn’t lie to her.
The professor gave everyone hope, I was the opposite side of that coin. Except to Marie. I would lie until I was blue in the face to my little Marie, just so she could keep believing the world would turn out all right. Of course, "Rogue" knew that it wouldn’t, but little Marie didn’t know any better. But now, heavenly stars, now she is my little Marie who has suddenly grown up. Or maybe I should say that I just now opened my eyes and saw that she has grown up.
So when she asked me that question, I wasn’t even close to being prepared for it. I almost lied to her again, like I would when she was younger, when I realized that she was a woman now. And I just couldn’t. The words died on my lips even as the breath to speak them moved. Now, I had to think up a real answer, an honest answer.
*Did I love Jean?*
Yes...maybe. I don’t know. She was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen in a long time, not just because I was wandering the frozen waste lands of Canada. Her fiery red hair, and temper to go with it, once you got under her skin. That was something I had almost down to an art. But did I love her? That’s a question for people far more worthy than me. But what to tell my little Marie who is still waiting so patiently for my answer? Then I knew my answer, and I cursed myself for not seeing it sooner.
See, that’s why it is so hard to lie to a child because the answers to all the world’s questions are already in their eyes. I guess it kind of like denying yourself the truth. So as I gazed into Marie’s beautiful brown eyes I slowly began to explain to her how I loved Jean.
*Yes, I loved her, but not in the let’s get married and have babies sense. Maybe at one time I thought that was what I wanted, but not anymore. I loved her as colleagues and as people who constantly risked their life together and had to depend on each other for protection. I loved her like a very good friend, and as a sister, a part of the family that I had lost a long time ago.*
*But little Marie, I did not love her in the sense that she owned my heart. Someone else made that claim a long time ago, before I even knew Jean. And now I’m just waiting for her to show up. Thank you, but this woman has a good excuse for keeping me waiting. I don’t mind the waiting though, it’s a good way to past the time. Now, off to bed with you, Marie. No arguments.*
Maybe it’s not so hard to lie to her as I thought, or maybe it just has to be for the right reason. I don’t know. You see, my little Marie, I’m not really waiting for this mysterious woman to show up from the blue. I’m waiting for her to grow up.
The Wolverine & Rogue Fanfiction Archive
Barely Legal Since 2000
Story Notes:
This is my take on post-X2, when everyone can finally talk about "it" again. Let me know how this goes over with everyone. It's my first try at L/R fics, I'm a convert.