#I can hear the couple fighting right next door #
#Their angry words sound clear through these thin walls. #
Bobby seemed to be going berserk; he was is Rogue's room raging at her like a tornado! I am in the room next door, hiding like a coward. The walls are mocking me with their thinness. It seems a cruel twist of fate that I have to listen to *every* word they are yelling at each other, they are accusing each other of things I was never even aware off. Finally Bobby's always lingering suspicions have been confirmed: Rogue loves someone else...
Hell, she even *fucked* someone else…Me!
Just a few short moments ago *I* was in their room; fucking Popsicle Boy's girlfriend. It was a moment of weakness…or maybe not? I wanted her. She wanted me. It was so obvious. Ever since I had laid my eyes on her in that grainy bar, I wanted to fuck her. I knew I had to taste her, or I'd loose it. Unfortunately, her skin-mutation made her insecure about the other sex, so I slowly worked my way into her life. Quickly, I became her friend. She looked up to me like I was her big hero. As the weeks wore on, I flirted with her now and then, teased her, and even coyly played with her feelings a bit.
Until one day she became *wax* in my hands.
I then took her in, kneaded her and moulded her in my hands. I showed her there was no need to be afraid of her skin mutation; I could handle it. I could love her just the same. Better than that *Popsicle Boy*. And so I did it this afternoon, love her I mean, right up until we heard that *obnoxious* boyfriend of hers approach in the hallway. I quickly grabbed my clothes and jumped through the window. I got out just in time.
My cigar however, did not…
Trying to settle Bobby down by claiming nothing has happened, Rogue's tearful voice cuts through my soul and makes me wish it had never happened. Seriously, I never meant to hurt her…
#Around midnight I heard him shout, "Unfaithful woman!"#
#And I knew right then the axe was gonna fall.#
Popsicle Boy is taking a stand; he is now blaming Rogue for her infidelity. Hell, I would have done the same bloody thing in his position! No woman of *mine* is going to betray me behind my back! Suddenly, I felt slightly guilty for eavesdropping, but I want to make damn sure Popsicle Boy won't hurt her. I even understand where he's coming from. Damn, I'm almost sympathizing with the "Ice Prick!" Then again, I really don't have any right to. I gave that up the moment I laid my claws on his woman. I'm the fucking *cause* of their problems…
#It's because of me…#
#It's because of me…#
#I heard him shout, "Who is he?!" She mumbles low #
#He said, "Baby, don't you lie to me no more!" #
Rogue doesn't give in, even when he's loosing his temper. She just mumbles, afraid to give me away. She's deathly afraid of the consequences my name on her lips might have. Hoping that if she leaves my name unsaid it won't be real. It will be like it never happened. Popsicle Boy raises his voice again, shouting, demanding that Rogue stop lying to him. He then asks her for the truth, no matter how much it might hurt him.
Rogue's silence made him fill in the blanks, "its Logan isn't it?"
#I'm listening through these thin walls, silent ashamed.#
#As he called out my name, I was right next door.#
When her crying seemingly confirms it was indeed *me*, I expect him to storm through the door and battle me for her love; like men once did a long, long time ago. But apparently chivalry is dead. So is Popsicle Boy when he lays a hand on me, and he bloody well knows it! We've had previous fights and they never ended well for this bed-wetting, teenage excuse for an X-Man. He still bears the faint scars of my claws penetrating into his tiny stomach to prove that I could easily harm him. Besides, I think he's *well* aware he can't compete with me when it comes to Rogue. He has known all along that she loves me more deeply than she *ever* loved his sorry ass!
#It's because of me… #
#It's because of me… #
As to my feelings for her, well what can I say?
#She was right next door and I'm such a strong persuader; #
#That she was just another notch on my guitar… #
I tempted her to give into the feelings I knew she had for me. Just for fun. I wanted to see how far she would go. One look into her eyes was all it took… Also, I desperately wanted to see how far *I* could go without being drained by her skin. Well, my resourcefulness didn't let me down, I can tell ya that much!
But, she was just another notch on my guitar, another prize in my trophy case, another one night stand. One that was very hard to obtain. I admit to having had worked on her several years gaining her trust, before she would let me get near enough. Was it worth the wait? Hell yeah!! Was it worth wrecking her life over? Definitely not… Damn thing is, apparently I *do* have a conscience. Maybe, I'm not such a bastard after all?
#She's gonna loose the man that really loves her #
#In the silence I can hear their breaking hearts.#
Because it ain't me, I don't love her like that. Hell, I just lust for her…
In this fucking cruel silence that has now taken over the room next door, I can almost hear their breaking hearts crack. Why did I wreck Rogue's life just to add her to my long list of floozy conquests? And Ice Pick, he's sort of a good boy. Kind of wimpy though, but at least he loved her, which is more than I can say…
Damn this is all my because of me! I'm a *fucking animal* who can't control his *fucking urges*.
I lie awake all night and listen to the deadly silence alternated with the fierce arguments. I feel so ashamed, it's embarrassing me. I have never, ever experienced shame like this before; the guilt that is weighing on my mind and chest seems to outweigh my own skeleton, including its added adamantium! And that's so fucking much, I can tell ya that!"
#At daybreak I hear him pack and say, "Goodbye!"#
#I can hear him slam the door and walk away.#
Outside the day is dawning bright and sunny, and next door I hear closet doors slamming and heavy footsteps barging around. Then it's silent once more. Like a catacomb. Creepy and silent, then I hear Popsicle Boy say his goodbyes. It's very distant and insensitive. How that must rip her sensitive heart into pieces, I can only guess. Poor darlin'.
The door is slammed shut in rage; the angry footsteps that mere moments ago walked up and down the room next to mine are distancing themselves from the door. It means Bobby is leaving her. Then again, he is not only abandoning Rogue, but also the X-Men team. He is giving up his safe haven and the only chance at a normal future he will ever have.
And it's all because of me…
#Right next door I hear that woman start to cry#
#I should go to her, but what would I say?#
Rogue begins to cry her heart out, and I regret ruining not *one*, but *two* lives; all in the blink of an eye. How to justify my behaviour? How to make her feel better, when I know it's because of me? I can't come up with words to comfort her; I'm just not that kind of guy.
I can never give her what Popsicle Boy gave her; I'm a free spirit and I *won't* be tied down by anyone! I like my life without complications and attachments. Sorry darlin'!
Maybe it's best if I take off too; there's nothing keeping me here anymore, I can't stand facing Rogue knowing I'm the cause of her grief and misery. Looking into her hopeful eyes; only to crush her heart all over again because not only did I make her loose the love of her life, also will she never experience *my* love…
She will be, unhappily ever after.
And it's because of me…
The Wolverine & Rogue Fanfiction Archive
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Story Notes:
Any mistakes are still my own, I keep changing things after
beta'ing. Lines between the #'s are lyrics!!!
beta'ing. Lines between the #'s are lyrics!!!