Title: Post Tenebras Lux (After darkness [I pray for] Light)
Rating: PG13
Category: dark/drama/shipper
Summary: Rogue and Logan have been captured.
Disclaimer ** Wolverine and Rogue and all the x men belong to Stan Lee, Marvel Entertainment, and 20th Century Fox.
I own nothing – I just borrow them but I always give them back! **
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Chapter 1
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Luctor et emergo ( I struggle but I’ll survive)
“Fuckers, god damn mother fuckin’ assholes”
I can’t help but smile as he say’s it, I heard it loud and clear, his words may have been slightly slurred and his voice a hell of a lot quieter than I’m used to but its comforting to know that he can still deliver a sentence with such venom. Sounds strange but it lets me know that he’s still here, still with me, that underneath all of the pain, the strength and power that makes him who he is, is still there, waiting for a chance to come forward and I need that right now, I know I shouldn’t worry about myself and I don’t, not really, I worry about him, but I don’t want to be left on my own here. It’s hard to admit that you need someone, well I admit it.
I rush over to his side; try to help him as best as I can as he begins to collapse and I just hold him as he begins to fade. I know he’s in so much pain, no matter how much he tries to hide it, the agony is written across his features, he is such a strong man, a proud man and it’s heartbreaking that I not only see the pain but shame and humiliation too. The drugs they keep pumping through his system deceive his body and make him heal too slowly and keep the agony alive and kicking for much longer, but even too slowly means that eventually the evidence of all his pain will be nowhere to be seen, except in his eyes. I can always see, even if no one else can, he could never hide from me.
“Shush Logan, I’ve got you, sleep now, I’m here, I’ll take care of you.”
The words when I think about it are complete and utter rubbish, I mean how exactly am I going to take care of him? I think I say them as much for my own comfort as for his, I’m just so fuckin’ sick of this, I’m sick of having to watch him suffer and of not being able to do a damn single thing about it. It shatters me every time they bring him back and I don’t know how much more my heart can take. I know deep down that it will have to take more, whether I want it to or not, whether I feel I can take it or not, and I will take it because I have to. I can’t leave him on his own. I don’t want to.
So here I am again, sitting on this freezing cold, concrete floor. And as he succumbs to some much needed sleep ever so gently I lay his head in my lap. I can see his breathing slow as sleep overtakes his tortured body and the tears I’ve been holding back start to fall in abundance, my soul crying along with me.
I watch him, watch over him, wish that his pain will somehow ease and I pray for an ending to this nightmare we’re being forced to live.
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TBC – Feedback loved and appreciated!
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