There were only two topics of conversation in the mansion these days. The first being the scandalous friendship between Rogue and the Wolverine. The sweet, soft spoken, gentle, heartbroken resident pet was, from the looks of it, best friends with the big, brooding, growling resident maniac. They ate together, sparred in the Danger Room together, got drunk together and spent lots of time in his room. With the door locked. Just the two of them.
The second popular topic of conversation was the upcoming wedding between Kitty and Peter. They had decided on a short engagement and everyone was busy helping them prepare for it. It would be taking place at the end of the week. It was amazing what you can get accomplished when you flashed a credit card that had the name Xavier on it.
Rogue dragged her feet as she walked down the hallway to Logan’s room. She had just left her final dress fitting with the rest of the Maids of honors. Kitty couldn’t bear picking just one of her friends to be the maid of honor so she chose them all. They were all wearing the same simple dress but in different colors. Jubilee in yellow, of course, Siryn in caramel, Rogue in deep green and Feral, who was honored to be chosen, in orange. Kitty’s dress was a pale pink ball gown, right out of a fairytale, that probably weighed more than the bride.
Rogue knocked on the door before leaning against the doorframe, too tired to stand up straight. Logan pulled open the door and stood to the side, already knowing who it was.
“God, I’m so tired.” She said as she draped herself over the foot of the bed. Logan closed the door and sat at the head of the bed.
“What you do today?” He asked as he searched for the remote to mute the classic hockey game that was on. That was the big secret of what they did behind locked doors. They watched classic hockey games as Logan explained the rules of the game to her. Ever since she drained him in the woods that day she had a strong desire to watch men with sticks beat the crap out of each other.
“I had a mandatory session in the Danger Room with Scott, I whipped his butt by the way, then I was volunteered to pick up all the suits for Peter and the groomsmen, and when I came back Scott had to go somewhere with Jean so I had to bring the kids to the movies with Remy of all people.” Logan suppressed a growl at the thought of her alone in a dark theatre with that smarmy Cajun.
“Do you know how crazy that was? Twenty five kids hopped up on candy like it was crack and that idiot wasn’t helping because he kept trying to hit on me, but I casually mentioned that I could probably remove a certain appendage of his with little effort before he shut up.
“Then I come back and had to endure hours of dress fitting. To top it off I got roped into helping with the seating chart tomorrow, I got to pick up Peter’s family from the airport, I got Kitty’s bachelorette party and Jubes is moving in with me for a few days so Peter’s parents can crash in her room. Ahhh!” She growled and Logan shook his head, a smirk on his face. She’d been expressing a lot of his characteristics since she absorbed him and he secretly loved it.
“He’s just keeping you busy so you won’t have time to spend with me.” Logan stated.
“I know. Scott’s afraid you’re going to corrupt me. Apparently I’m twelve and can’t be trusted to make my own decisions. I swear I’m trying to be patient with him but he’s making it so difficult.” She sighed and moved around on the bed, stealing the remote and putting the volume back on. After several minutes her yell broke the comfortable silence. “Oh come on. That was clearly a penalty.” Logan smirked.
A few hours later Rogue stumbled into her room. She threw her pajamas on and jumped into bed. As she drifted off to sleep, hew mind wandered to Logan. Just the thought of his name brought a smile to his lips. It wasn’t like she liked him, sure he was gorgeous, sexy as hell but he was her friend. Nothing more.
She enjoyed spending time with him because he just let her be. Like Bobby used to.
Suddenly she sat straight up in her bed, feeling shocked and a little bit guilty that she hadn’t spoken to Bobby in weeks but even worse, she hadn’t even thought of Bobby in days. She quickly calmed herself down and closed her eyes, mentally searching for the compartment she kept him in. After ten minutes that felt like ten hours, she finally located him. It worried her that it took her so long to find him It never took her more than a few seconds, a minute at the most, before.
~Bobby?
~Oh Rogue. It’s been weeks.~ She wasn’t sure but she could have sworn he sounded disappointed to hear from her.
~I know. I’m sorry about that.
~I’m not. You were doing so well. Moving on. Laughing. Flirting even. Why did you come back to me?
~I have not been flirting.
~I live inside your head. You can’t hide anything from me. I know how you feel about Logan.
~ I don’t have feelings for him.
~You do. I feel them. You think you can love him. You think you can be happy with him, and you want to know something? I think you can be too. He’s a good man. He makes you smile and more importantly he makes you feel normal again.
~He does.~ She felt guilty for admitting it, but it was the truth and she had never lied to Bobby before and she wouldn’t start now. ~He’s actually really decent. It’s kind of sweet that I’m the only one he lets his guard down around.
~I think it’s finally time you do a favor for me.
~Anything.
~I need you to let me go.
~What?~ She felt panic start to overwhelm her.
~I know you have the ability to completely erase someone’s psyche from your head. I want you to do that with me.
~Bobby, no!
~I didn’t think me being in your head was a problem, but it is. I’m not helping you move on with your life. I’m the reason you haven’t made a real effort with Logan. Just because you let me go doesn’t mean what we had wasn’t real, it was, it just means you’re ready to move on.
~Bobby, I really did love you, I still do.
~I know you do. I died knowing that and I love you too but you have to let me go now. I want you to be happy. I want you to fall in love.
~I’m going to miss you.
~I know but you’ll get over it. You’re strong and brave and resourceful, that’s what attracted me to you in the first place. That and your beauty. Alright, no long goodbyes let’s do this, shall we.
~Bye Bobby.
~Bye Rogue.
~It’s Marie.
~Bye Marie.
She centered herself and went through the steps that Emma had taught her to purge her mind of unwanted passengers, except this time she was getting rid of the first guy she loved, the first guy that loved her. She told herself repeatedly that it wasn’t really Bobby. Bobby died that day in the battle. It was just the presence of him. It didn’t make her feel any better about what she was doing.
Once it was done she had a moment where she froze, staring into space, not breathing before she curled into a ball, hugging her knees to her chest and cried until her eyes burned. She was finally letting herself mourn her first love. ‘Thank you for showing me love, Bobby.’ She thought as she drifted to sleep, face swollen, pink and stained with tears.
The next day, the moment she woke up, she knew she was finally over everything that happened with Bobby and she was able to smile as she thought of him. Not an ounce of regret. After a quick shower, she threw on a pair of grey sweatpants, adorned with the school logo, which she rolled up to mid-calf, a black t-shirt and her white sneakers.
Logan wasn’t much of a morning person, so she always ate breakfast with her friends. After her eggs and French toast, she and Theresa followed Kitty to her office to help with the seating plans. The simple task turned out to be a nightmare. Certain family members didn’t get along with others, you couldn’t sit ex-boyfriends next to ex-girlfriends and you had to make sure the people sitting at a table would be able to carry a conversation without trying to freeze, melt or blast each other to death. Who knew it was so stressful?
After they had finally written everyone’s name in on the seating chart… in pen, Rogue hopped into one of the school’s SUV’s and waved goodbye to Kitty and Peter, who were heading out to pick up her parents from the train station.
She arrived at international arrivals in Kennedy Airport at 11:06. From the slip of paper that Peter had handed her, their plane should have arrived ten minutes ago. She parked and walked inside to check if flight 5618 from Moscow had arrived on time. She was still trying to find the flight number on the screen when she heard someone address her.
“Rogue?” She turned to find a tall gentlemen, whose only sign of his age was a head of grey hair, looking at her. He was surrounded by an equally tall man around her age and four women, who although were shorter than the men, were still taller than her.
“Yes. You must be Peter’s family.” She extended her hand but he ignored it, choosing instead to give her a hug.
“Nice to meet you finally. Peter has told us much about you. He says you are good friend to him.” His accent was thick but still understandable and Rogue smiled at him. “I am Nikolai, Peter’s father, this is his mother, Alexandra. His sister, Illyana, his brother Mikhail and his cousins Larisa and Anya.”
Everyone had given her a hug and Rogue allowed herself a moment to be jealous of Peter. Her own family had disowned her for being a mutant yet here was his family hugging her like she was a member of their family. They had flown halfway across the world to be at their mutant son’s wedding to another mutant in a house full of mutants. She instantly fell in love with them.
It was a tight squeeze but everyone and their luggage managed to fit. The drive back was filled with chatter and laughter. Typical family noises.
There was an accident on the I-95 and it took them almost twice as long to get home. Rogue pulled into the garage to see Peter, Kitty, her parents and grandfather waiting for them. Jumping out of the car, she tried to rub some feeling back into her numb butt, before making her way towards her friends.
“Rogue I want to introduce you to my family. This is my pop-pop, Samuel, my dad Jacob and my mom Rebecca.” The short plump women came forward and embraced Rogue in a bone crushing hug.
“So you are Rogue. Our Katherine has told us all about you. You are the sister we never gave her. She talks about you often, though I must say you are more beautiful than she described.”
“Mom!” Kitty’s face was crimson as she stood behind her mother and tugged on her sleeve.
“Did you know she was lost here when you left to Paris? I told her you were doing the right thing. That you needed to put yourself first and she understood but she was so sad without you. Lord, I was amazed she didn’t fly down to move in with you.”
“Oh my god, Mom! Shut up.” Kitty begged, clearly embarrassed.
“Come on Becky.” Jacob said coming forward and moving his wife away by the arm. “You’re embarrassing Katherine. I can’t take you anywhere.”
There was an awkward silence between the three friends, as Rogue digested that piece of information before Peter broke the silence.
“Thank you so much for picking up my family. I want to apologize, sometimes they can get a little… boisterous.”
“It was no problem Peter. I was happy to do it. You know, they’re great. They really love you. I almost forgot what a loving family was like. I should be thanking you for showing me that, both of you.” He looked at her confused for a moment before taking a step forward smiling softly at her.
“Rogue, you may not have your parents love anymore but you do have a family. Right here. With us. You do know that, right? Don’t you know that we all love you?” Rogue sucked in a breath at his words and her eyes started to mist. A part of her felt different but in a good way, as if a piece of her soul was thawed by his words.
It took her a moment to realize she felt loved. It was a different type of love than Bobby gave her; that was a romantic love. This was different. This felt like she had a family, a real one. Rogue smiled at Kitty and Peter through her tears.
“I do now.” She hugged them both and for the first time told them she loved them. She pulled back wiping her tears away with a laugh when she realized they were crying also. She told them to get back to their families and promised to be ready for the bachelorette party before running out of the garage to find Logan. She needed to talk.
She found him in his room, watching some action film on the TV. He shut it off though when he saw the look on her face. She looked like she’d been crying.
“What’s up?” He asked as he scooted toward the end of the bed to watch her pace his room.
“I spend way too much time dwelling on the past and on the life I wanted instead of the life I have.”
“What brought this on?”
“Well, first Bobby hinted at that when I talked to him last night… when he asked me to purge him from my mind.” Wolverine raised his eyebrows and whispered wow as he brought his hand up to rub his jaw.
“Did you do it?” She nodded her head. “How you feeling?”
“Surprisingly well. It was time. I had to let him go so I can move forward. He told me he was holding me back but I think I was using him to be held back, if that makes any sense. Then just now when I bumped into Kitty’s mom, she told me how much Kitty missed me when I was in Paris getting my life together and Peter told me they loved me and they were my family.”
“So what’s the problem?”
“I just can’t believe I didn’t notice it before. I know I had some horrible things happen to me and Bobby was the first person to see me and get me and love me but I can’t believe I didn’t notice he wasn’t the only one. Kitty, Jubes, Tessa, even Peter and John, I thought they only liked me because of Bobby. I didn’t think. Bobby only introduced us; they ended up liking me all on their own.
“I’ve spent too much of my life hating my past and hating Magneto and Sabretooth and my parents and my skin and those damn truckers that I just stopped moving forward. I got stuck. I got mad that no one understood my fucked up past but that blame is on me because I never told them. I didn’t trust them. I was afraid to; afraid they’d leave me like everyone else” She mentally promised to tell them everything about herself, after the wedding. She didn’t want to take any happiness away from the couple.
She was quiet for a good minute before she started to giggle. Then the giggle turned into a laugh that seemed to travel through her whole body. Logan looked at her like she finally lost it and seriously considered calling for Jean.
“Are you ok?” She nodded her head, still laughing. “Then why are you cracking up?”
“Because I’ve been in therapy with psychics and a genius scientist for years and it took my dead ex-boyfriend and a mom who was embarrassing her daughter for everything to click for me.” She managed to say through her laughter. “I have had a shitty start and the path I traveled may not have been the one I would have chosen for me but look where I ended up.” She waved her hand around her. “I live in a mansion that belongs to a man who is more of a father to me than my own. I teach kids who adore me. I save lives for a living like a superhero, how cool is that? I have great memories of my first love. I have friends who love me and I love them. I have a whole new family. I have you.”
He got up and leaned against his desk, arms crossed in front of his chest, before looking her in the eyes. She stopped laughing and felt very warm once she saw the intensity of his stare.
“And what exactly am I to you?” He never took his eyes off her as he spoke and she momentarily forgot her name. Coming out of her daze, she walked towards him slowly. He didn’t move, except to uncross his legs, as she walked to stand between them. She looked up to him, even half sitting, half leaning on the desk he was still taller than her, and searched his hazel eyes. She loved the color of his eyes.
She slowly lowered her eyelids as she stood on her tip toes and kissed his lips, softly, chastely, her tongue lightly caressing his for a moment before she pulled back from him a serene smile on her face.
“You’re-” She started but was cut off by a knock on the door that caused her to jump.
Logan was pissed and was ready to skewer whoever was on the other side of the door for interrupting.
“WHAT?” He roared as he yanked the door open and she heard Scott’s voice answer
“Is Rogue in there?” Logan stepped to the side, opening the door wider in the process. “Rogue, I need your help with something.” ‘oh not this again’ she thought.
“Really? What?” It was obvious from the look on his face he didn’t think his lie through this far. She saved him the trouble of coming up with something. “You know it’s good you found me. I wanted to have a talk with you anyway. Let’s go your office.” She walked out of the room, grabbing his hand as she passed him and dragging him behind her. “I’ll talk to you later Wolverine.” She threw over her shoulder as she gave him a flirty smile.
He shook his head, a faint smile on his lips as he shut the door. The girl drove him crazy… and he loved it.
Jean was sitting on the sofa in Scott’s office waiting to spend some time with him before she had to go get ready for Kitty’s party, when the door was kicked open and Scott tripped over himself as he was practically shoved in by Rogue.
“Oh Scott. What did you do?” Jean asked standing up and putting her hands on her hips.
“Me? She pushes me and you’re yelling at me?” He said straightening out his clothes.
“Yes I am. She wouldn’t be manhandling you if you didn’t do something. Now what was it?” After he kept silent, Rogue spoke up.
“I was talking to Wolverine in his room when Scott knocked. Apparently he needed my help with something.”
“Scott you didn’t. I told you to stop dumping things on Rogue. It’s obvious you’re just trying to keep her away from Wolverine.”
“He’s no good for her.” He told Jean before turning to Rogue. “He’s dangerous and he sleeps around a lot. He won’t be able to stay faithful to you.”
“Scott. You’re my brother, in every way but blood, so I’m going to say this calmly. I know him, everything about him. I had him in my head. I know that he’s a hell of a cage fighter, undefeated in fact. That’s what he was doing when you guys found him and gave him the whole ‘you’re special come help others like you’ speech. And I know he’s had a lot of sex. A lot of sex.” She said, both shocked and impressed, and Jean bit her lip trying to hide her smile. “It’s entirely possible he had more sex than everyone in this mansion put together, but that’s none of my business or yours. So drop it.”
“I don’t like this. You don’t act like this. You don’t drink or stay out all night. You-”
“You forgot smoke.” She interrupted. “Yup, that’s right Scott, I smoke. Call the cops and lock me up.” Jean gave a very unladylike snort. “Just for your information, I picked up all those lovely vices before Wolverine. I used to steal my daddy’s whisky when I was younger, I started smoking in Paris and I used to sneak out with John, Kitty and Bobby when we were sixteen all the time and come back at dawn.”
“What would Bobby say if he saw you today, huh?”
“Scott!” Jean chastised.
“No it’s ok Jean. I know exactly what he’d say because he told me. I had him in my head until yesterday.” Scott attempted to say something but it got lodged somewhere in his throat and he had to sit down before he fell. Jean’s mouth fell open. “I know I should have got rid of him when I learned how but I just couldn’t do it. It was Bobby. But last night he asked me to do it and I did. It seemed like the right time. But to answer your question, he loved that I had found someone who made me happy again. He actually liked Wolverine.” She walked over to Scott, perched on his desk.
“I know you loved him. I did too, but you were the one in the first place who told me I needed to get over him and Wolverine helped me do it.” She smiled at him. “Scott, I trust him with everything I have and I need you to trust me with my own decisions.”
“Does that mean I have to stop worrying about you?”
“No but before you go all overprotected dad on me, check with Jean first to see if you’re justified.” He smiled at her and gave her a hug.
“You two are so sweet with each other.” Jean sniffled before gaining her composure. “Rogue we have to go get ready for the party. You two ok?”
“Yes” He answered. Both girls gave him skeptical looks. “I swear. It’s your life and you’ve done a fine job so far. Just know that I’ll always be here for you.”
“You better be.” Rogue smiled.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
A/N: One more chapter to go. This chapter drove me crazy so I hope you like it.
~ ~ signals the begining and end of dialogue in Rogue's mind.
~ ~ signals the begining and end of dialogue in Rogue's mind.