Xavier had gotten back from Washington at 10pm, he’d been in the garden checking out the pool when he’d heard the summons.
He’d taken a quick scan of the darkening tree line and walked to the back door. He found Xavier seated at the kitchen table, with a decent bottle of Malt Whiskey in front of him. His face looked tight and drawn, things hadn’t gone too well in Washington. Sitting down across from Xavier, he watched as he opened the bottle and poured two glasses with the heady amber liquid, pushing one across to him picking the crystal glass up, smelling the richness that flowed from the contents.
“So how did it go?” The question hung in the air as he watched Xavier struggle for the right way to explain his fears.
“Not well. It’s what I feared would happen. For years we’ve been a thorn in the side of various anti-mutant groups. But the F.O.H seems to be the one that has the most support in Washington right now.”
“F.O.H?”
“Fellowship Of Humans. Originally they were a group promoting segregation of mutants, to protect themselves against harm from powerful mutants like Magneto. But they turned into a group with a lot of underground support, especially from the far right and our friend Senator Kelly before his death. The sniper that we had here was a supporter of theirs, an apparent single ‘bad apple’, when we approached his commander he was under the impression that the man had gone for training. He knew nothing about the attack or the gun we showed him.”
He let the importance of what he’d found out sink in. Whatever or whoever had planned the attack on the school had been waiting for the right opportunity to attack. Him coming back could have triggered the movement of time, he was known to the military and his record with their soldiers wasn’t a good one. His mind replayed the night of the raid, the faces painted in green and black, their scent of barely restrained fear and adrenaline. The weapons they’d used against the kids. He’d come back and they’d tried again, he wondered if he’d done the right thing by coming back, maybe he should have stayed away. Xavier caught his train of thought as it passed his face.
“You did the right thing Logan, we need you here. I’d hate to think of what would have happened if you hadn’t been here. It’d be me in the infirmary dressed in a black bag and no one to keep the children safe. Scott is a good leader but he doesn’t have all my talents for getting the truth from people.” Smiling as he took a sip from the crystal in his hand. “We now know we have a problem and we know which direction to look at, if anything you’ve helped us to clarify things. They see you as a threat Logan, something dangerous and after our last encounter with soldiers I doubt they’ll try another frontal assault. No I believe they’ll try other ways, more subtle than an attack and this is where Scott and I come in. Its time to ‘press some flesh’ as they say. So we’ll be away from time to time, calming the fears of senators and politicians in Washington. Maybe even visiting the president from time to time.” A smile crept over his wan face, repeating what they had done before, just after Jean had died. He’d told them he’d be watching and he would be, but he’d be watching from here, where he could do the most good.
“So what do you want me to do?” Watching the amber liquid swirl in the glass as he turned it, allowing it to warm with the heat from his hands.
“What you do best Logan, be here. Show the pupils that you’re here, teach them to trust themselves, their gifts, their abilities and their instincts.” Xavier sighed heavily.
“While I can teach them how to live in the world around them and give them the knowledge they lack from being outside of the school system, I can’t give them the knowledge you possess. We need you here Logan, you can teach them so much more than I can.” His eyes bored into his saying what he couldn’t say with his mind, that he’d teach them how to survive, how to kill if need be. “They need these lessons more than you think, even Scott could do with some more ‘advanced’ training. Storm and Kurt too, the younger members of the team as well.”
At this his ears pricked up and he met Xavier’s gaze.
“Younger members?”
“Yes, Bobby for one, Peiter for another; we have a couple of young teams going through their training. But it isn’t enough Logan, they lack the edge they need. They stop short of their goal or go too far beyond it. Teaching the students control over their powers takes up a lot of time and willpower on their behalf and ours, its just when they get into situations where they have to use them they can go wrong.” He found himself nodding in agreement with him, he wouldn’t like to be on the wrong end of Peiter when he let go of all that frustration and anger he keeps bottled up inside.
”We need you Logan and your welcome to stay here whether or not you decide to help the students. I know that I’ll sleep better knowing you’re here.” The statement surprised him, his eyes widening as he drained the glass in front of him. Xavier needed him around, he understood the need of the kids and of Marie but Xavier? The man just smiled and began to wheel himself away from the kitchen table, “Now I hope you don’t mind Logan but it’s been a long day and I need some sleep. It’s not everyday you find out about your own murder, so if you don’t mind?”
“No, I’ll be going upstairs soon myself, get a shower and then on duty.” Just before he left the kitchen Xavier stopped and looked at him.
“You know she loves you don’t you?” He wondered which woman he was talking about, the pale one or the dark. “She’s been practising her control for six months, waiting for you to come back. She knew you were coming home before we did, if I didn’t know any better I’d say she was psychic.”
Leaving him with the bottle, he wheeled himself out of the room, “You can keep the malt, it’s the same age as Rogue, nearly 20. Hope you enjoy it.” He left Logan with a curious feeling he’d just been given the go ahead from a father to date his daughter, smiling he raised the bottle and read the label. Twenty-year old Malt Whiskey was pricey, he just hoped the other vintage tasted as good.
Screwing the top back on the bottle he opened the fridge picked out a plate of leftovers and carried them upstairs. Leaving the whiskey on the table for later, he made his way up to his duty. Listening to the quiet of the halls as he walked through them, feeling at home here in its wooden panelled expanse. Settling himself down in his window seat he waited for the dawn to arrive as he ate the leftovers from dinner. A good whiskey takes time to make and he’d wait another twenty if he had to for her to be ready for him, as long as she knew he loved her and he wasn’t going to leave without her.
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They must have walked up here when he was talking to Xavier because he could hear their steady breath. Listening to them behind the door he wondered if she was thinking of him, closing his eyes he settled his mind and reached out for the piece of her in his mind. She was there, wrapped around a pillow, arm bandaged up safe in the knowledge that he was just outside her door. Opening his eyes he looked down the hall, to his own room. Maybe he’d get her in there one day, this time they’d be awake and it wouldn’t be a painful memory.
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He’d been on guard duty for almost a month when he picked up the scent of something behind the door. Moving out of his seat he moved silently to the door, placing his hand on the wood he closed his eyes and allowed his senses to show him what was happening behind the door. Opening his mind to Marie’s thoughts, allowing them to mingle with his.
He’d been practising over the weeks, watching as Damask and Marie grew closer, watching as they touched each other, held gloved hands even. Damask had taken to wearing them, to help Marie feel more normal. They laughed and spoke as if they were sisters, separated at birth. He didn’t let them see him watching them, Damask had caught him once and the look of guilt that slid into her gaze had frozen his heart. She had told Marie everything, even about their moment together and what it had meant. He’d smelt her nerves at being found out, at being confronted about it so he’d just walked away from the pair of them.
It wasn’t as if he didn’t have other things to do, the school’s security had been a mess and he’d had to re-organise everything. The look in Xavier’s eyes had been haunted as if he’d known that the end was in sight and that he could’ve been wrong and Erik had been right.
They had a talk Xavier and him, spending the small hours talking about his journey and the dreams of the past few years. Xavier had shared part of something with him, things were going to change for the better, soon. He just didn’t know where they would stand in it all that’s why he needed him to be here, to show stability to the kids. To be strong with them, to stand and fight if need be.
That’s when he’d dropped the bombshell on him, he wanted him to start training the kids how to fight, not just defend themselves but kill. He’d stared deep into Xavier when he’d said that and he saw nothing but practicality there. “Scott’s not going to like this, not sure about Ororo either.” His reply had shocked him even more.
“It doesn’t matter what they like Logan, I’m trying to save lives by planning now. I’m not sure what the future holds for us but I want the children to be able to fight back if we ever get stuck in the same situation as last time.” He could see the scars on his mind about that incident, somewhere he still blamed himself for not being there, not seeing it being planned. His mind had still not been sharp enough to see the planning going on in circles he was part of.
A decision had been made and he would spend half of the week in Washington until things were sorted out there to a satisfactory conclusion for all. This meant that he had more responsibility than ever. He’d wanted to run away from it at first, to get away and only think of himself. But Jean hadn’t allowed those thoughts, whenever he’d felt like giving in she’d appear in his mind. Outside the jet, holding back the water, looking up at him telling him to survive, to live, to take care of those she’d loved. He couldn’t say no to that memory, he’d stick it out no matter how hard it became.
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He’d walked in on a discussion earlier that day, it was Marie’s birthday soon, just before thanksgiving. Most of the girls were talking about what they were going to buy her. He never took much notice of the parties that were held at the school, there was always one or another happening. But he’d try to remember this one, he’d even thought about going to the town for something but he didn’t know what to get her. He’d seen the list of presents that had been pinned up on the dorm wall, now that she never came down there it was a safe place to plan.
Jubilee had caught him looking at it. “What are you going to get her?” He’d turned, embarrassed at being caught which had made his tone a little bit gruff.
“Why? Think I’ll clash with what your buyin?” She’d looked hurt almost immediately and he felt awful. “I’m sorry, it’s just that I’ve no idea what to get her.” His eyes had locked with hers. “That’s if she actually wants anything from me at all.” Jubilee had laughed then, her eyes sparkling with mischief.
“Well you could give her one thing she’d be pleased with.” He looked at her waiting for the rest of the idea. “You don’t know do you?” Her face showing surprise she carried on. “You’re in for a surprise Wolverine, although I’m not the one who’s going to spoil it. She’d kill me.” Then she’d walked away leaving him feeling confused and old.
Here they were just a week away from her birthday, the Prof and Cyc away at another hand pressing dinner, trying to influence the human population by being friendly. They were making headway but slowly, very slowly. He’d watched tv for as long as he could, taught his classes on basic wilderness survival (the woods at the rear of the school were perfect for their lessons), watched the first evening patrol go round and felt as if he wasn’t needed anymore. Even Kurt had found a job to do, teaching gymnastics and spatial geography. He was making Ororo smile and that was worth having a blue demon around the school, no matter how many times he had to hide when the politicians came round.
Now he was here, outside their door trying to see what was causing all the scents in the room to explode outwards. His nose picked up Damask’s scent, musky and alive, excited even. His memory reached back and showed him where he’d smelled the same scent. His eyes snapped open as he remembered and his hand shot away from the door as if it had been heated in a furnace. He knew what was happening and he wished with all his soul that he could be on the other side of the door. Sitting with his back to the surface he leaned his head back and listened.
Sheets moved, springs creaked, small whispers were spoken of which he only caught snatches of, which didn’t make much sense. But if they were doing what he could smell them doing, words don’t make sense, only feelings do.
Closing his eyes he felt for her mind, for Marie. She erupted onto him, thoughts and images flashed through in a tumble, everything, quick and fast. He grasped out at one as it passed from her into his mind, it was her riding him, hair flowing and him pushing harder into her making her arch her smooth back. Then it was gone, replaced by another and another, all about him, all about them together, doing what they’d both wanted for an age. He felt himself harden as he watched the flow of images get stronger, more vivid, more real. Felt himself move in time with their flow, his strong back pushing against the door making it creak in its frame, realising that it wasn’t locked.
The door wasn’t locked, he opened his eyes and the flow ceased but the feelings didn’t. He could open the door and walk in, be with them, share what he needed with them. They knew he was out here, they knew he could smell an apple in a basket of oranges but still they’d left the door unlocked. They’d always locked it for safety, other peoples not theirs. But it was open, now.
His hand reached for the doorknob, his need almost tangible in the air. Then he heard it through the door, the sharp breath, the release she had sought for so long. Growling deep in his throat he could smell her, the animal rose and wanted to go in, to take her, to fill her with himself, to feel the heat of her wrapped around him, tasting her, devouring her. He slammed his claws into the doorframe, puncturing the wood, easing the animals pressure to take, to rend, to devour. Pushing himself away from the ruined frame he ran down the corridor, not noticing Kurt as he teleported to see what the noise was. All he could do was run, away from the thoughts, away from the feelings, away from the ones who loved him.
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Sat with a bottle of whiskey he flicked through the channels on the tv, wishing that Xavier hadn’t blocked the cable channels he needed right now. Taking another drink he focussed on the screen and not on the footsteps that were approaching the sofa. He didn’t even turn as Marie sat down next to him, he could smell Damask on her still, he could smell her heat too and he growled uncomfortably. “Logan,” her voice was almost pleading in tone and he turned to face her. She had been crying, all thoughts of his own pain and frustration with her left him.
“What, what’s wrong?” She moved closer to him and lifted his arm and snuggled underneath. He felt himself stiffen again at her touch, even through cloth. “Are you okay? Marie what is it?” She held him and her voice was muffled by his shirt.
“Why didn’t you come in?”
He let the words settle in his mind, so that was it. Lifting her head he looked into her face and saw how much he had hurt her by running away, by being a man and not an animal.
“Why?” His eyes told her of his need to know, why like that, why with Damask?
“It was our idea, she can touch me in the ways I want you to. She showed me how you touched her.” Her face bloomed as she remembered the feeling and he could sense a rise in her scent. “It was easy to see you and not her. I wanted you to see, to feel me, even if we can’t yet.”
The word ‘yet’ gave the animal the cue it needed, turning her into him he pulled her into his heat. She could feel him there, hard against her thigh, his eyes alight with need, his voice deepened by it.
“Is this how you want me?” He pulled her face closer to him using her hair, making her squeak with pain. His eyes fired as he heard it, the animal rising in him, gaining ground. “Do you really want me like this? To just take, to not care about you, what you want, what you need?” She was so close now, he could feel each beat of her heart.
“Yes.”
Growling he let her go, flung himself up and out of the sofa, angry at her answer, at himself.
“What did I do wrong?” He could hear her tears falling, hating himself for not being able to explain. That he was more than an animal, that he was a man, who needed someone to treat him as one, not just a creature.
He wanted her, needed her but not like that, not like an animal. When he turned around she was curled up in a ball, legs tucked under her, protecting herself. He crouched in front of her, eyes glazed and focussed on the tv, trying to ignore him and the huge mistake she’d made. Even though it wasn’t her fault, she felt that it was.
“Marie,” she moved away from his gaze and tried to ignore him. He wasn’t going to allow it, she wasn’t a child anymore. He grabbed her arm and pulled her out of the sofa. “Come on, your coming with me.”
He would show her who he was, not what he’d been made into. Taking her back to her room he opened the door to find Damask waiting for them. “Are you mad at me?” She looked unsure at him.
“No I’m not mad at you. Annoyed yes, the rest of the school would know if I was mad.” He pushed Marie into her bathroom. “Get dressed, were going out.” He shot a look to Damask which said everything. “I’ll be back in second. Dress warm, its cold outside. Damask lock the door after we leave.”
He went down the hall to Ororo and Kurt’s room and knocked lightly on the door, there was a smell of sulphur and Kurt was next to him. Dressed in his nightclothes Kurt looked like a Greek myth. His tail wound lazily as he looked at him, “Yes Logan?” His voice wasn’t sleepy and his eyes burned brightly, it looked like Damask had reached their room too.
“I’m going to check on the kids doing the survival night, so I’ll be out for a bit. Just wanted to give you a head’s up.” Kurt looked at his eyes and saw the anger smouldering there and decided not to push it.
“Of course, we’ll keep our ears open for the corridor.” He knew Kurt sensed he was lying but he didn’t want to explain where he was going or what he was doing. As he left Kurt spoke “Have fun.” He let the comment slide over him and heard the rush of air as Kurt teleported back to his room.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
The aftermath of the attack, Logan and the Prof have a talk. Marie finds a friend in Damask and they get a lot closer than Logan ever imagined they could.