To remain as anonymous as possible, Logan and Marie regressed back to their days of roadside motels. While Logan searched for something that would pass for dinner, or at least a snack, Marie carried Charles inside to clean him up a bit. She cleaned herself up too and found ice for her eye. Stretching her aching muscles out on the bed, she tried to hide her nerves from her over perceptive son.
"Mommy?" he asked quietly, feet dangling from the side of the bed, "those bad guys wanted to hurt us...and I know they did it because they are bad ... but … how come just you got hurt?"
Marie sat up and pulled the ice-filled towel away from her face. "Well, honey…Mommy is just a little more...Mommy isn't as tough and strong as you and d-mm...and Logan."
"That's not really true, kid," a deep voice interrupted from the doorway. "Your Mom's the toughest person I know."
Logan walked in with a handful of food from the vending machine. Tossing the bounty onto a small table, he grabbed one of the ancient chairs and pulled it up to the edge of the bed.
"Yeah Mom, you're tough too .... and I 'member it hurting when the car stopped ... it hurt bad, but it don't hurt no more."
Silently, Logan sent a look to Marie. The kid was too smart for any ploys to work. Besides, they'd already discussed that he needed to know about his father. And now he needed to know about his unusual heritage as well. Logan made a quiet wish that he and Marie were on the same page about complete disclosure. If his kid was anything like him, he would smell a bullshit story a mile away, no matter his age; and Logan was going to need her guidance to get through any kind of 'talk'.
Marie could read the thoughts as they crossed Logan's face, almost as if it were a teleprompter. She wasn't sure when she’d begun to understand him so easily, but she was thankful nonetheless.
"Honey," she said softly, moving to kneel in front of her child. "I need to tell you something very important and I want you to listen very carefully. Listen to everything first and then you can ask all the questions you want...okay?"
Charles nodded his head eagerly.
She reached up to hold both his hands in hers. "First of all...the reason that you aren't hurt after that accident is because you are a very special boy. You have a...gift. Your little body can heal from getting hurt, but a whole lot faster than any of your friends or even Mommy. You were born that way, but ... you just had to grow up a bit for it to come out. Do you understand?"
He nodded again, enthralled.
"Good. See...this is a very good thing because it will help you when you get hurt. It's like...a super hero power. But there are people that will...they wish they were special like you too. Because it's very cool to be able to get better so quickly ... and those bad guys ... they can't do that. They figured out that you could, though and because they are jealous and they don't understand ... they don't want to be your friend. It makes them mad and they are jealous and that makes them do bad things. Do you remember what we learned about 'jealous'? Do you understand what Mommy is saying?
Charles sat very still for a moment, looking at his shoes, at his mother, at her friend Logan. "So they tried to hurt us because of me?" he said, his little voice cracking with tears.
Marie's eyes flew open wide. "No! No, no honey...not at all, “she said urgently.
"Nothing is your fault big guy," Logan jumped in. "You didn’t do anything wrong. They didn't try to hurt us because of you. They're bad guys and bad guys just do...bad things. It's got nothing to do with you. You're not the only one they're jealous of ... they're jealous of me too, and they've chased me before."
"Why don't they like you?" Charles asked, innocently.
Logan looked down at his hands, realizing he had a death grip on his own thighs. He knew this was it; his opportunity to tell Charles the truth. He had to be open and honest about what he was, what Charles was, and most of all what they all were to each other ... and that he wanted nothing more than for it to stay that way. To be able to call him his son, to tell his son he loved him; he wanted to be a real father, he wanted to be with Marie, and wanted the three of them to be a family.
Logan cleared his throat briefly. "'Cause I can heal too, kid. I get better real quick, like you, and they don't like it too much. See..." He shot a look down to Marie's face, only to see her give him an encouraging smile. "See...me and you kid...we're both special. We got a lot in common, two of a kind, ya know? A lot alike."
"Yeah?" Charles asked, wriggling his feet underneath him to sit cross-legged.
"Yeah. Actually... " he felt a catch in his throat, "we're exactly alike in - a lot of ways."
"That's okay, Logan, because I like you. I like being like you."
Logan stole another glance at Marie to see her eyes suspiciously moist, her jaw firmly set.
"I like being like you too, kid. And there's a reason, see, that we're so much alike."
Charles cocked his head, the gesture asking him to explain.
"Charlie ..." Logan found himself clearing his throat again. "Charlie, I'm your Daddy."
Charles’ eyes didn't open wide in shock; he didn't make any sudden movement at all. He simply studied Logan further, and then looked to his mother for confirmation.
Marie nodded firmly, but with a smile. "It's the truth Charlie. Logan is your Dad and he wants to help me take very good care of you...if that's okay."
Charles looked back at Logan. "My Daddy?"
Logan nodded stiffly; never thinking he'd want a four year old's approval this badly.
"Momma said you left because ... for work and to keep us safe." Charles took a long pause, looking back and forth between his mother and father. "Are you done working now - so you can stay and won’t have to leave us again?"
Logan heard Marie's strangled sigh and saw her smile and took it as a good sign. "Yeah ... yeah I'm done with work now … and I'd like to stay, if that's okay with you."
Charles smiled up at his father, nodding emphatically. "It's okay with me; I like havin' you around. You can be my Daddy," he answered in a voice much bigger than his size. He rose to his knees and leaned towards Logan with open arms.
Without hesitation, Logan reached out and scooped up his son with both arms, holding him tight. Marie moved closer to the two of them. She gently stroked Charlie's back and Logan's arm. Silently, she noted how natural they looked together. Her heart caught as Charlie received an open, trusting look of warmth and love that even she had never seen in Logan’s eyes before.
******
He'd been in bed for hours, but sleep was evading him. The three of them had sat around, talking and snacking on junk food, forever it seemed. He'd even helped get Charlie ready for bed and actually felt the cocoon of warmth that existed between Marie and their child reach out and envelop him.
Charlie had asked lots of questions about his 'gift' and how it worked, where Logan had been working, and where they were going to live. He and Marie had tried to keep the explanations simple and honest, even if it meant leaving out a few details for now. The most uncomfortable moment came when Charlie asked if the two of them were going to get married now and have more babies. He had to say, though, his Marie had smoothed that one right over.
"Logan and I haven't seen each other in a long time, honey," she'd said. "I care about your father and we're going to be very good friends ... and most importantly, we are always going to be there for you."
His Marie...
He'd never wanted anyone's approval the way he'd wanted Charlie's ... except for Charlie's mother. He wanted her approval and dammit, he wanted her forgiveness – now he needed it. He'd give anything to go back in time, wipe the slate clean - or better yet, start over new.
Let today be the first day of their life and all the bullshit in his past, be damned. For years he'd lived under the notion that acceptance, unconditional love, and all the things that came with it were things that he had no rights to. He didn't deserve it and if it was forced upon him, he'd inevitably find a way to ruin it. Logan clenched his fists in anger; angry at no one but himself. He'd been a fool. He'd seen so much of the shitty things in life, he couldn't recognize when good things were there for the taking. Marie had offered all of those things to him and he'd turned his back on it, on her, stubbornly refusing to believe that he could hold onto that kind of life.
The woman ought to be fuckin' sainted, he thought; because for some reason, she was letting him back in. She never said that they could pick up where they left off, but she’d agreed to give him a little place in her life … and a little place was all he needed. He’d turn it into a second chance at what he'd so callously shunned. He was going to do whatever it took to sprawl out and take up as much room as possible. He was going to get his claws in so deep that she would never, ever think to want a future without him in it. He'd find a way to make her so deliriously happy and content, that she couldn't even be bothered to think about the past.
The government hopefully thought them all dead, and that was fine with Logan. They'd get to his cabin - their cabin - and be safe. And he'd create such wonderful memories and happy times there, that all she'd ever think about in relation to that place would be pure bliss. And eventually...eventually he'd find away to win her back into his arms. That much he'd never been a fool about; physically, he and Marie belonged to each other. Whatever it took, if he had to woo and do all the romantic crap that didn't come at all naturally to him, he'd find a way to get that back. He didn't want to spend another night in a bed separate from her, but he would. He'd be patient...but he would be hell-bent persistent, too.
Logan felt his hands relax, and a small smile crossed his lips as he thought about plans for the future. His reverie was interrupted by the creaking of the other bed.
He heard the bedclothes rustle as Marie got up, and the quiet pad of her feet as she moved across the room to flip on the tiny light by the door. She went into the bathroom, but didn’t turn on the light. Nor did she lock the door behind her, only pushed it mostly closed. All of his senses were instantaneously on high alert. He listened closely, until he heard a gentle, muffled sob coming from behind the cracked door.
He was on his feet and in the bathroom in a second, giving no thought to her privacy. Marie was standing on the bathmat with her back to him.
"Logan?" she whispered, turning towards him.
“Are you okay, baby? What's wrong?" He could make out her face, softly lit by the glowing nightlight.
That was the second time he'd called her 'baby', but still she didn't want to remark upon it. Marie looked up into the face she knew almost as well as her own. She'd seen that face almost every night for five years when she closed her eyes. During the day, the memory of his face was something she wouldn't allow to intrude, but at night, she'd give in to it. Even when her bitterness and anger was at its peak, she still saw that face … and felt comfort. She'd hated him for that, in the beginning.
Now, she looked at him and realized that what she'd told him the day he came back was true. She didn't hate him, she wasn't angry at him anymore, and the bitterness was slowly dissolving to vapor. Marie trusted him with her life and her son's life, without question, and she thought that'd be enough. But it wasn't. She wanted more. She wanted all of it.
"Nothing's wrong, Logan...just...emotional. You know...exhausted."
Logan put out both arms, running his hands down her shoulders in comfort, and looked into her eyes.
"Well...it's been...it's been a tough day. But you were amazing today, Marie - with everything. You’re…you’re unbelievable."
Her body went rigid, not so much at his words, but at the look in his eyes. It was the same look he'd given Charles earlier, wide open with warmth, absolute trust...and love. She recognized that look, even though it had never been completely and freely given to her. Until now. Marie had wanted that look for so long – all she could do was stare at him, slightly stunned. Finally it was there and she wanted so badly to be able to return it.
"Logan?" she didn't know what she was asking, maybe if he was real.
Logan felt her go stiff beneath his hands and knew he'd given himself away. Panic almost boiled up, but now he understood what was playing across her face. Doubt was creased into her scrunched up forehead and the curve of her mouth, but gleaming in her eyes was hope. She had hope too! Hope for them...and she didn't have to say a word.
He stepped towards her, pulling her into his arms with the very lightest of pressure. Curling his arms around hers, he held the small of her back, tucking her into him. Logan rested his cheek against her, his breath making wisps of her hair rise up and float back down, and wondered if it was the thudding of his heart that was making them tremble. He held her tight, in case she thought to slip away.
"Baby," he whispered into her hair, "I am so sorry for ever leavin' you."
He felt her pull slightly against him, but his arms turned into an adamantium cage around her. He needed to say this, had to say it, and she needed to hear it.
"Shhh, just listen to me for a second. You need to hear this, even if you think you don't want to ... I was a coward back then, Marie. Nothing scared me, I thought, but you scared the shit out of me. Little you terrified the big, bad Wolverine ... because of what could happen ... what you could do, because of what you could offer me. I never wanted to leave *you*. I wasn't running away from *you*. I was just running. But that was no excuse. I've got no excuse for what I did, but I always regretted it, every day, no matter how I lied to myself. And I never regretted it more than I do now. I never should've let you go..."
Marie had finally relaxed in his arms. After a moment, she raised her head to look at him, nodding just slightly. She was so beautiful, his girl, the mother of his child.
"I'm not scared of you anymore, Marie. And I'm gonna prove it to you."
The self assurance and cockiness in his voice earned him a small laugh.
"I know you will, Logan," she smiled up at him. "I know you will."
“I told myself I didn’t deserve your forgiveness; that I couldn’t ask for it and didn’t want it. But that’s not true … not anymore. I still don’t deserve forgiveness, Marie, but I want it and I want it from you.”
She put her small hands against his chest, feeling the strength and warmth he gave, and feeling the remnants of doubt slowly wash away.
“I’ve already given it to you, Logan.”
Unable to resist, he lowered his head, resting his lips on hers. The kiss was subdued by their standards, especially knowing they both longed for more, but it felt like coming home. Everything else would come in time. Marie settled her head back on his chest, because tonight they were happy just to stand on that motel bathmat and relish the feel of each other. The touch of skin. The warmth of flesh. The hope of new love.
In a bed just outside the door, their son smiled to himself.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
This takes place years after X3. Marie took the cure, it was permanent, and the Mutant Registration Act has gone into effect. She has her own life among humans while the world of mutants is thrown into chaos.
Thank you to everyone who has followed this story and commented!
A very special thank you to both Laenwyn and JaqofSpades for encouragement and beta - I dedicate this last chapter to them.
Thank you to everyone who has followed this story and commented!
A very special thank you to both Laenwyn and JaqofSpades for encouragement and beta - I dedicate this last chapter to them.