It never fucking fails. Never. Nothing in my life can fucking be simple. And I ain’t one to usually go around bitching and complaining like some fucking little sissy (yeah, that is a reference to Scooter, what of it?) but sometimes, I just want to fucking scream cause it seems to me that at some point, old fate would cut me some slack. Just a little. I mean, I ain’t asking to win the lottery or wake up tomorrow to find all the world suddenly in a more mutant friendly mood, I would just be content if I could come back to Chuck’s just once and not find some prissy little boy band member wanna be sniffing around Marie like she’s some sort of filly and it’s their job to welcome her to the fold.
First time around, it was the Ice Kid, all ready to up and announce ‘I’m her boyfriend’, as if he could mark Marie his by saying that shit then freezing my hand.
Yeah, a cold hand fucking scares me, shit head, I’m the guy that woke up naked in the fucking snow.
I’m the guy that had a bunch of bastards cut me open so they could pour hot metal all along my bones.
Yeah, him freezing my hand was really frightening.
Had me shaking in my boots.
Please.
Course, I knew right off that it wouldn’t last, I knew Marie would get board with Icy Kid and kick him to the curb because I could easily look at him and see he would never have enough fire to keep Marie’s interest.
Marie, she liked a man with some edge.
Marie, she liked me.
And I didn’t need fucking Red to tell me that, cause I got eyes and a nose and I can see what is fucking obvious.
Course, I could see she was a teenager girl, and while I might be a bastard, I ain’t no fucking bastard so I kept my distances, and after Alkali Lake, I took off again.
Gave it two more years.
Came back when Marie was twenty one.
Still young, but older, and she was more mature, cause she was on the team, she had faced down Carol and Mags and she was tough.
So I came home to take what was mine.
And what did I fucking find?
Remy.
Gambit.
What kind of fucking names are those?
And that accent? Christ. Just hearing him talk is enough to make me want to shove the claws right into his chest and put me out of my misery.
Hated him at first sight.
Hated that Marie found him charming.
Hated that she laughed at his jokes.
Hated Scooter when he told me Marie had been out with Remy a few times.
Decided then and there, it was time to action.
First thing I did was make it clear to Chuck and everyone else that I would be staying around this time and I even took a job teaching self defense.
Managed to get myself a room across the hall from Marie.
And while it was hard as hell, I set back for a few weeks and watched and waited, to take things in and when I saw Remy sniffing around Marie more and more, I decided enough was enough and I went to him one day when he was coming out of the rec room and I told him to listen up.
I said, I know you don’t know me, you might not know the history that me and Marie have so let me just take a moment to make you understand that Marie is mine and I am hers and if you think for a second you and your bad French accent are gonna come between that, you are stupider than you look and let me tell you, that is bad, cause you look pretty fucking stupid.
Course, I was real bad ass, saying all this.
I was The Fucking Wolverine.
But you know what?
French Dick laughed and slapped me on the shoulder and shook his head.
He said to me, Remy know The Rogue be your girl, but people ‘round here tell Remy that The Wolverine, he be a little slow on the uptake and this be making Rogue sad and well Remy don’t like that, cause Remy knows what it’s like not to have the one you love so much. Remy in love with Storm, with the goddess and so Remy tells Rogue, she and I, we will flirt and act like we like one another and Remy tells her this will make Storm and The Wolverine will come to their senses.
I didn’t know if I wanted to kick his ass or laugh.
I had been fucking played.
So had Storm.
Course the smile that passed between Storm and Remy when she walked by told me she had forgiven Remy for flirting with Marie.
And who are we kidding, you know I would forgive Marie anything.
So I went up stairs, walked in her room and told her that she didn’t need to be flirting with Remy or any other man cause she had my full attention, she had my heart and my soul and my love forever.
Marie, she just smiled and said she loved me too.
Then she showed me how much.
Showed me how she had learned to control her powers.
And life is good.
And for fucking once, everything is simple.
With me and Marie, it’s simple and nature and right.
Seems like it’s okay for Frenchy and Storm, too.
And Storm, she promised me good weather for when me and Marie get married next month.
I’m making Marie mine officially.
So those boys all know they best not sniff around her, or they will be the ones wondering when fate will give them a break from me kicking their ass.
THE END
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