After I left home, following that dreadful day when my mutation nearly killed the first guy that ever dared to kiss me, I figured I would be destined to just kind of aimlessly and haplessly roam around forever all on my own. I mean, who in their right mind would care about a girl with skin that could drain life with a touch…no one would fight for such a person, risk their lives, nearly die…I didn’t believe for a moment I could or ever would, in any way, matter to anyone, until that night in Laughlin City, when I managed to hook myself up with a foul tempered, bad ass cage fighter that seemed perfectly content to call himself, The Wolverine.
Course, I learned his real name was Logan and I even told him mine, making him the first person since I left home to know I was really Marie and not Rogue and afterwards, when he took to calling me Marie, when we were alone, it made me feel normal in the most basic way.
With Logan around, just knowing he was in the same house, it made me feel safe and secure and I know I lot of people would say I was insane for feeling that way, cause he wasn’t a man that easily inspired comfort in most. I dare say more people than not were afraid of him, afraid that he was somehow unstable…afraid that he could and would use those claws that sprang from his hands to slice and dice anyone that stood in his way and at times, those fears were justified, because Logan had no qualms when it came to fighting for what mattered to him.
For what he considered *his*.
And I was *his*.
I think I knew that, that I understood and accepted right off that I belonged to Logan on a primal level…I understood that he was *mine* as much as I was *his* and I was just fine with that.
The moment I saw the man inside that metal cage, I fell in love with him.
Course, I knew most people around the mansion all thought it was cute that poor Rogue with the untouchable skin had a little crush on the man that had touched her to save her life.
Only to save my life…according to Jeannie, that was the only reason that Logan had ever or would ever touch me.
I just smiled sadly at that and nodded, deciding I didn’t want to argue, I knew the truth, in my heart, and that was all that mattered to me.
That, and the chance to someday show Logan how much I loved him.
After Alkali Lake, Logan decided he would remain at the mansion, to help pick up the pieces and be there for Scott and as he told me later, for me. He knew I was shaken up, by the entire ordeal, that I had new nightmares at night, that I was terrified that at any moment men with guns would come barging through the doors and many nights, I went to Logan for comfort, knowing he could and would hold me close and remind me that I was safe.
Logan and I were best friends, closer than anyone could imagine, we could talk about anything or sit in silence and I never doubted him and when I doubted myself, Logan was the one to remind me that I had already survived my own hell and he knew I could face anything life throw at me. I was strong, he often said, which made me smile and laugh cause I knew all the strength I had in me I had gotten from Logan, but he felt I was pretty strong on my own and he served as my own personal cheering team when I was feeling down and beaten.
And when I joined the team, despite his loud and angry protect, Logan insisted on being the one to train me.
He said I needed to learn from the best and he was that.
Scott, he said, ranked like fifth or sixth on ‘the best’ list and that was being very, very generous in assessment.
Well, it was Logan I learned from, Logan that drove me insane at times, but he was, as always, looking out for me, and for that, I loved him dearly.
I loved him for a thousand reasons.
I loved him enough that I knew I would die for him, I would give my life, my heart and my soul for him.
On my second official mission with the team, I got my chance.
We received word that The Brotherhood, headed up by my buddy Mags, had decided it would be a smart (I pause to laugh here) to hold a bunch of international political figures hostage as his way of forcing them to listen to his demands made on the behalf of mutants.
For someone that seems so intelligent, the man can be a real dumb ass.
Needless to say, Charles, he did quite agree with the path that Mags was taking, so he had the X-Men suit up and go into battle, to free and once again save all the blessed political figures.
Course, I wasn’t overly worried, cause we had battled The Big Bad Brotherhood so many time and kicking their ass came kind of natural. I mean, we knew their game plan and in a lot of ways, we knew the strengths and weakness of all their members.
Or so we thought.
We didn’t know about Carol.
Carol with healing and super strength who thoroughly set about kicking our ass all over the place before turning her sights on Logan, who had already battled Sabertooth, until he managed to knock Sabs out, but he was still hurt, bleeding for more than a dozen wounds his healing factor was working overtime to repair.
He was weakened.
He was unable to defend himself.
Carol attacked him with a vengeance.
I saw it happen, I knew Logan was in trouble and I knew strength wise, I was no match for Carol.
I knew that to take her down I would have to use my skin.
I knew I would end up with a new voice, one that could likely be the voice that would break me once and for all.
I knew the risk, I knew the possible outcome, and I didn’t care about myself.
I attacked Carol from behind, jumping on her back, my hands locked on either side of her face.
The gate opened and she poured into me.
Thoughts. Feelings. Fears. Strengths.
Madness. Anger. Rage.
Images.
Powers.
Healing…strength…I could feel it racing into me…into my body…I could hear Logan call out my name, but the means to respond wasn’t mine as Carol’s body fell to the floor in a lifeless heap and with a pain filled cry, I slipped into a swirling abyss filled with cool and welcoming darkness.
According to Hank, I was out completely for three days, and for two days, me and Carol battled for control that I finally won, with help from Charles and an obviously ready to rip someone’s head off Logan.
I’d seen the man pissed before.
I had just never seen him pissed at me.
But as soon as I was firmly in control and on my feet and in awe of my new powers, he made it clear that he was bloody furious and for half an hour, he paced my room, in a full rant, telling me how I was beyond insane.
What had I been thinking, he demanded.
What could have prompted me to place myself in danger, he asked
Did I realize the risk, he yelled.
Did I have a death wish, he bellowed.
When he finally paused for a breath, I looked him right in the eyes and I answered each one of his questions.
I was thinking you were in trouble.
I placed myself in danger because you were in trouble.
I realized the risk.
And no, I do not have a death wish.
“Then why, Marie? Why? She could have killed you.”
“Hardly. My skin was the one thing she couldn’t fight.”
“Fine. She could have taken over your mind.”
“She could have, she tried, but she didn’t.”
That got me a growl followed by a lot of muttered curse words.
“You asked me why, Logan.”
That got his attention.
“I did. I’ll ask again. Why?”
“Because, if it came down to my life or your life, hands down, every time, I would give up myself to save you.”
“Marie, that is insane.”
“Really? You did it for me. Twice. We’re you insane?”
He huffed. “No. It was just different.”
“Different how?”
“Marie…”
“Answer me.”
“It was different cause I knew if anything happened to you I wouldn’t have any reason to go on living.”
I smiled at that, tears in my eyes. “And there you have it.”
“Marie…”
“I love you, Logan. I love you. I love you and without you I have nothing.”
“Baby, I ain’t no good for you…”
But I waved a dismissive hand and shook my head. “Bullshit. You’re the best.”
I got a smile. “In some ways.”
“In all ways.”
“Kid…”
“I love you, Logan, and I think maybe you love me.”
“Hell, Marie, there ain’t no maybe about it. Course I love you.”
I went to him then and wrapped my arms around his neck, smiling up into those eyes I adored.
“Life is about risk, Logan. I took a risk when I stowed away in your trailer and you took a risk when you touched me and we take risk every time we go on a mission, but I’m more than willing to take any and every risk life throws my way as long as I know I have you with me when the dust settles.”
“Always. Count on it.”
“You had best believe I will.”
It was his turn to smile down at me. “We’ve been headed towards this from the start, ya know that, don’t ya, darlin’?”
“Of course. I knew right off you were mine.”
“And I knew you were mine.”
“So that settles it. You and me for life.”
He nodded, brushing a stand of hair from my life. “For life, Marie.”
Life.
He had saved my life.
I had saved his life.
Now, we would live that life together, facing the risk, taking a day at a time, and never doubting that he loved me enough and I loved him enough to take the ultimate risk to pledge to love forever.
THE END
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