Before my mutation kicked in I lived in the middle of the infamous Mississippi Bible Belt, so as you can imagination, my momma and daddy were fairly zealous about taking me to church every Sunday, come rain or shine. I was taught the Golden Rule and all about how God loved all His children but He expected complete devotion and if His children failed to give Him that, he would banish them to Hell. No ands, no ifs, no buts, God was, quite simply, not at all willing to tolerate sinful actions and, my momma told me often, it was sins of the flesh that God found most disgusting and because He did, it was my job, my duty, to keep my soul pure and keep all carnal thoughts or urges from entering into my mind and drawing God’s wrath.
Sex before marriage is out of the question, my momma would say very seriously and I assured her that I would behave and keep myself virginal until I was legally married in the eyes of God.
I was a good girl. I prayed every night. I minded my manners. I was the perfect child.
I was God’s child.
Until I became a mutant.
The second my skin turned killer, my momma and daddy decided I was an abomination and a monster and I couldn’t be God’s child if I was a mutant and as a result, I couldn’t be there child.
In other words, here’s you packed bag, here’s three hundred dollars, now get out of our house and don’t ever dare come back.
And that was all she wrote on that subject.
God and my parents were done with dirty little mutant me.
The rest is well known, I guess, I headed to Alaska, but ended up in Laughlin City, where I ran into Logan.
Logan.
Let me tell you something, Logan is so hot he could make a devout nun have all kinds of carnal thoughts so there was simply no possible way that any teenager girl could be within a mile of him and not start wondering about things.
Sex things.
Sigh. Logan and sex.
Those words go together like spaghetti and meatballs.
Or Jubes and shopping.
You get the idea, I am sure.
Well, Logan saved me not once, but twice, then he runs and comes back and the world as I had come to know it just went flying to shit and then we are returning home without Jean and Logan and Scott are suddenly best friends.
And the rest of us, well we are on eggshells, the kids are scared to death, I am dealing with how a single kiss from my boyfriend followed by touching his best friend on the leg alerted me to the reality they are in love with one another.
Ain’t that a pisser?
I’m dating a gay man. Someone call Jerry Springer. I got a story.
I can see it now.
‘On today’s show we have Rogue, a mutant will killer skin whose ice making mutant boyfriend is in love with his fire controlling best friend that just decided to wonder over to the dark side and to make matters worse, Rogue is in love with a metal lined, clawed mutant with no past who is in love with a dead telepath doctor that was engaged to a mutant that shoots beams from his eyes.’
Any questions?
No. Good. Cause I ain’t got no answers.
Anyway, it was about a month after Alkali Lake that I had yet another one of my old life changing events when Carol went wacky and it was left up to me to take her out once and for all cause she was invincible to most everything except killer skin.
So I got Carol in my head, I got her healing and her strength and her ability to fly and I had Logan at my side, hovering over me, worrying and bitching loudly at Charles and pretty much anyone that crossed his path during the week I was in the med lab trying to get Carol calmed down.
That was hard work, but I managed it and then I announced I was joining the team as soon as I graduated and Logan and I had a four hour screaming match in the foyer that had Scott and Charles laughing their assess off.
Of course, thanks to me and Logan, the younger kids in the mansion learned a few four letter words not necessarily considered a part of the educational layout.
Scott, he didn’t find that so funny.
Especially when a seven year old girl asked him ‘what did Miss Rogue mean when she told Mr. Logan to shove his dick up his own ass cause she was gonna do whatever in the fuck she wanted?’.
Being the bastard that he is, Logan loved that, and while I found it funny as well, I did not admit as much until Logan finally said he would stop fighting my decision but he was gonna train me.
Sigh. Logan. Training. Shirtless.
Logan. Hot. Sweat.
Rogue. Trouble. Breathing.
Sinful thoughts abounding.
Hell really can’t be **that** bad, can it? I mean, I’m from Mississippi. I am use to heat, to humidity and all that so being hot for eternity couldn’t be so horrible and since I got the healing, then it will be a **long** time until I got to worry about it.
YES!!!
Sinful thoughts feel free to abound.
And now I shall get back on track.
Logan takes over my training and learns quick that I have Carol’s strength and I have his memories, which means I know some of his down and dirty fighting moves and as a result, I can hold my own pretty damn well.
I could tell he was proud.
So was Scott, for that matter, he said he was glad to have me on the team, to have me staying at the mansion teaching art to the younger students and sometimes Scott would hang out with me and Logan.
Whoever would think that day would come?
Well, for about two years after Jean died, things just flowed normally, Scott and Logan did their pissing contest thing where they tried to out masculine one another, but it was mainly silly and pretty funny.
Then we noticed a change in Scott.
Suddenly, he smiled like he really wanted to be smiling and not just cause he felt he had to and there were times he would disappear for a few hours at a time…I could see in his eyes something was up, but I figured he would tell us when he was ready.
And finally, he did.
About a week before Christmas, he and Kitty announce that they have been seeing one another for four months.
I was thrilled. I thought it was great. I knew Kitty had been in love with Scott for years.
I thought she would be good for him.
One look at Logan and I could see he wasn’t so understanding, he didn’t make any sort of scene or say anything but I knew the man well enough to know something was up so when he went up to his room, I naturally followed him and flopped down on his bed to sit while he stared out the window.
I had a good idea what the problem was.
So I just decided to address that elephant in the room, cause elephants don’t just go away on there own and I kind of knew this elephant personally.
This elephant had a name.
Jean.
Sighing, telling myself I would not get emotional or cry or confess my love for my dear Logan who was in love still with Jean.
One day, Jerry Springer is gonna jump out of my closet or from under my bed and just tell me to stop running cause I am bound to be his most pitiful guest ever.
Anyway, I have to be mature.
I say, look I know it’s kind of a shock to see Scott moving on, cause he loved Jean a lot, and my guess is part of him will always love her dearly, and he will always wonder what their life could have been like if she had survived, but the fact is, he has a right to move on and I think Jean would have wanted that.
Logan, he says nothing, just continues to stare out the window.
Okay.
Just love how this man makes it easy on me.
Another approach.
Logan, I assure you, I know Kitty and I know she isn’t trying to replace Jean, she just feels a lot for Scott and she wants to have a place in his heart and she understand he will never, ever forget Jean and Kitty respects that and personally, I think Scott deserves this chance to be happy. He suffered a lot when Jean died, he was a mess for a long time, I saw it and so did you and if you think about it, you will realize it’s only fair that he have someone with him, cause I’m sure he doesn’t want to be alone forever.
I finish my little speech and I am thinking, you are a pretty smart chick, Rogue, even if you do say so yourself.
Course Logan just continues the silent thing and finally, I get up to go, to leave him alone with whatever thoughts he’s having and that is when he speaks.
I don’t understand, he says.
So I ask, what don’t you understand.
How he can do it. How he can love again.
I sigh and say, life goes on. Scott has realized that.
Logan turns and looks at me and his eyes are so intense and so filled with emotions it just about takes my breath away.
I couldn’t do it, he says.
I nod slowly. I think I know what he means.
You don’t think you can love again, after losing Jean…
But he shakes his head.
His next words shock me.
I never loved Jean. I admired her. Respected her. She was a good woman.
You kissed her, I reminded him and he smiled.
Kid, I’ve kissed many women and I didn’t love them.
Oh. Good point. I have to give him that.
So I ask then what does he mean when he says he couldn’t do it.
He takes a step towards me and in the most emotional voice I have ever heard him use, he says if he were to ever lose me like Scott lost Jean, he would never be able to love again cause his heart would die right along with me.
I went still and quite.
I love you, Marie. I love you. I love you so much…
I moved or he moved, I don’t know which or maybe it was both, but suddenly, we were in one another’s arms and I was holding to him and crying and telling him I loved him and had for so long.
He cupped my face in his hands and lifted my eyes to his and he says he would have no reason to go on without me and he is glad Scott had found a second chance, but I am his one and only and no one but me will do.
I tell him that me and him, we got a long time together.
He smiles and kisses me gently, his tongue wrapped around mine and we fell back to the bed.
And those lessons my momma taught me about carnal sins went out the window just about as quickly as my claw shredded undergarments went to the floor.
And Logan…
Logan is king of the sexual sins, I am happy to say.
He made love to me toughly, completely, with tenderness and passion that had me clinging to him and whimpering his name as he found all the sensitive spots on my body and afterwards, he held me while I slept.
He told me he would hold me for a lifetime.
I smiled and told him I would hold him to that, to holding me, cause in his arms was just where I wanted very much to always be and since I had all kinds of carnal thoughts in my head, thanks to him, the sin was already committed so there was no sense in trying to stop now.
Sorry Momma, but sex with Logan is worth any price I have to pay.
Even hell, cause until I get there, every time Logan is near, I am in Heaven and really, I think that’s what matters most.
THE END
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