I feel the first raindrop fall down onto my cheek. I look up at the dark gray autumn sky, and in this moment thoughts of this being a sign from above come into my mind. I slowly turn to Logan, and he looks up, too. Behind him I can see students, running to the house, trying to reach the shelter before the electrical storm will begin. Then he turns to me and traces the wet trail on my cheek with his thumb.
In moments like this, I always begin to suspect, that up in the sky there is some higher power that can slap you over and over, until you fall down in the mud, coughing your own blood out and then suddenly it will give you a helping hand. At first you'll be scared to believe it, waiting for another slap to come, and then, so suddenly and unbelievably, you'll get the greatest gift of your life.
Raindrops fall quicker and quicker, and then it's simply a cold fresh shower, falling down on us. In the next moment I realize, that I'm soaking wet and so is he. My next step is setting aside all my pain, fears, tears, sleepless nights, and smell of the gasoline of the trucks I was traveling in.
I reach out to him and kiss him, tasting the autumn sky on his lips.
And he's alright. He doesn't fall on the ground, gasping for air. He just holds me closer to him, responding to my kiss. I'm starting to cry even before I realize that the autumn rain is washing away my damnation.
Without breaking the kiss, he puts his leather jacket off and throws it down into the wet leaves. He takes me in his arms and lays on it, pressing his hard body against mine. He starts to tear my clothes off, without looking around. Then he notices that I am shuddering from my tears.
"What? Did I scare you? Is it happening too fast?"
"No," I whisper. "I just never thought that this day would come."
"It has," he replies, kissing away my tears, kissing my trembling eyelids, then my temples, my cheeks, my nose, my lips, again and again.
I have never done it, you know, by myself. Kitty says that it is fine, but I never tried. It was too painful--to know that my own fingers will be my only lovers all my life. But when his bare chest covers mine, I'm sure I've reached what Ms. Grey calls "orgasm" when we speak about sex in class. All of my skin begins to hurt--from head to toe. I have been waiting too long. I'm sure I will die in the next moment--too much skin contact. It's wet, it's hot, it's silky. His skin is the most beautiful thing in the world. I'm not aware that I'm moaning his name aloud, running my hands over his broad wet back.
Logan strokes my hair, kisses my neck, then lower. His quiet growls are like a music for my ears. I don't realize that I'm completely naked on the ground in the Professor's garden. I don't feel the shape of my body anymore. I'm everywhere--I am here, with Logan, on the ground, in the sky, my soul sings something wildly, flying with the wind.
He tastes me slowly, savoring every inch of my deadly skin. Then I feel his tongue there, in that very place, where everything is burning. I hear his voice asking me if I'm ready, but I can't answer. My voice is lost as well as my thoughts. But he feels me as he always does.
He locks my eyes with his. The comforting silver shine is around. I feel it--it's hard and hot. I saw it many times, but now I can really feel it between my thighs. And then he pushes inside. I can feel his racing heartbeat. Something is tearing apart inside me. I feel the sharp pain and I can smell blood, but it feels good. It feels right.
"I love you, Marie," he whispers to me.
I want to tell him so many things, but the friction steals my words. Now I can understand why Ms. Grey always buys so many condoms, trying to hide them in her pockets. This is the meaning of life--the man you love is everywhere--inside and around you.
"In the moment when there was no hope, God sent you to me. One of his best angels," Logan breathes out, locking his fingers with mine, wet and shaking.
I can feel something building inside me. A very warm feeling--from his words and from his actions. The feeling is so big, that I'm afraid he will tear me apart. But no--suddenly it leaves me with my scream, leaving me completely lifeless.
I look into his eyes, and then Marie D'Ancanto, the girl without past and future, finds IT. Lying on the ground, under the cold rain, protected by Logan's big warm body, I find the PRESENT.
THE END
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Story Notes:
Thanks to Marisa for the beta read.