The window seat was a favourite of hers, it had enough room for her to sit peacefully in, tucking her legs beneath her. Outside the winter was in full swing, snow and ice were coating the trees that surrounded the school.
Ororo was stood outside, a colourful covered figure standing as still as the statues that littered the garden. Everyone else had gone to the mall for Christmas shopping, the season of good cheer had left her numb this year. It was as if she'd been wiped clear and the incident at Liberty Island was the only thing she could blame it on.
She remembered her last family Christmas, the preparations that had started just after Thanksgiving. Buying presents, making food, filling the freezer for the influx of visitors, the peices of family that travelled to see them. Scattered pieces of genetics that converged at one time in the year to catch up with the changes that had occured over the months. Smiling faces that had once held so much love, so much hope for her...now were dreams that listed in a dark sea that held no land.
She was alone.
Sure everyone here had been great to her, helped her to feel 'normal' or as normal as she could do. No one ever mentioned the rescue she'd undergone, or the week Logan had been underground in the med bay. When she'd been prowling the halls filling the wooden pathways with his presence, she'd tried to go to see him. Been stuck in the damn elevator for over three hours, trying to force herslef to finish what she'd started. But the fear that had consumed her nearly drove her insane every time she was in that small space.
So she'd waited until he'd come out, when he'd left she'd caught him, seen his eyeline drop from hers. The way his shoulders were set, the tenseness that was in him, he didn't want to go but he *had* to, there were things unfinished and he needed to finish them.
Logan was never far from her mind, hell he'd inhabited part of her since the touch she took from him in his bedroom the first night they'd been here. But she'd left him alone in her head, memories that weren't hers locked away behind a door. But now she wanted in, wanted to explore the man who'd risked everything for her. Christmas was for giving wasn't it? He'd given her memories and she wanted to explore them, all of them.
Resting her head against the wall and letting her eyes rest on the pale surface of the lawn Marie let her mind drift to the shape of Logan in her head. The man who even now was turning to see her, his eyes filled with remorse, filled with care. His voice rich and deep as she felt his ghost hands on her shoulders.
"Marie, please, you don't need to do this, ask me, talk to me when I get back but please don't do this. I don't want to hurt you."
Smiling to herself, a quirky lift of her lips to the outside world she replied to the ghost sentry in her head. "I know what I'm doing Logan, you'd never hurt me, you promised you'd take care of me and you did. I just want to get to know you better." As she moved his shape aside she caught his sad smile, as if she'd just condemmed him to a slow painful death. It couldn't be that bad surely? She knew he was old, had odd dreams but they wouldn't hurt her would they? Shaking herself she went deeper into the piece shed retained of Logan, losing herself to the memories that were now spilling into her mind. Turning the clean snow into a perfect screen for her mind to use.
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Xavier found her.
Curled in a ball, wrapped up from the world, her room was a wreck, she'd smashed things that had been passed down from hand to hand for generations but she hadn't cared. All she'd been doing was reacting, every single person was an enemy, every room a torture chamber, and she'd been the killer. She'd woven a path of blood through them all to get out, but her casualties were the antiques not human guards.
He wheeled himself closer and her head snapped up, eyes clear and her face bright red. He knew she was struggling to keep herself calm but she managed to stay still.
"Rogue? Do you want me to help you?" He'd expected something like this sooner, but she'd been so calm, so in control. He doubted that she'd retain Logan's memories after dying but it looked like she did, he was only thankful that she hadn't retained Erik's.
His eyes carefully watched her stand, her body twitching as she fought the urge to run or fight. She wiped her face, brushed down her clothes and straightened her gloves before answering him.
"No thank ya Professor, Ah'm sorry about the damage. It won't happen again, Ah'll work off the money Ah promise." She moved slowly, her muscles fighting her every step of the way, the need to run hard and fast in her every small movement. But she made herself walk, Xavier watched her go, knowing that she'd cope, whatever had been released in her was now part of her. He only hoped she didn't regret it later.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
This may become more, not sure yet.