It had been three days before he could reach her, and already her powers were back almost full force. He found her, sitting alone in a one-bedroom apartment in East L. A, huddled into a corner. There was no one else in the room, but she was having a conversation with someone.
"I didn't mean to do it, Carol. I'm sorry. I told you not to touch me. I told you…" He wanted to go to her and wrap her in his arms as he should have done the night she had left. Yet, he knew that would only scare her. Instead, he grabbed a chair and sat, watching her. He knew she had to get through this on her own, or it could kill her. He would wait as long as she needed him to, and then he would take her home. No one would be able to say anything against it.
It took her another three days to come out of the dark hole in her psyche. Even then, he knew this one was going to be worse than any of the others she had absorbed before. Including him. She didn't speak to anyone when it was over. She just silently went to the kitchen and made herself a couple of sandwiches. He watched as she devoured the pathetic meal and gulped down a large glass of water. He waited until she was done, and he still sat there, waiting for her to tell him what she thought he should know.
They sat that way for three hours. Staring at each other, waiting for something to happen. When she finally spoke, it startled him to the point he almost fell out of his chair. "I've missed you, Logan. You know that, right?"
"I know. I've missed you, too, Marie." He forced a soft smile, although he didn't feel like smiling. They were sitting in the living room area, on the floor and cross-legged. It looked as if her entire apartment had been ransacked. The only things in the entire apartment were a single kitchen chair, an old mattress, and a few pieces of paper, strewn around the place. There was plenty of food and beer in the fridge. He was sipping one of those beers now. "I've thought about you almost every single day. Was it everything you expected it would be?"
"What? Touch or sex?" There were no innuendoes, no hidden meanings to her words. Everything was point blank, as it had been when ever she had touched someone before. She was still Marie, but there was something very different about her, something she couldn't have learned from any of the voices in her head, any of their memories. Something she had to get first hand. "Neither was. Touching was so much more impersonal than I thought it was going to be. At first, I couldn't figure out why no one really got anything out of it. And then it hit me; they didn't really feel it anymore. Not like me, anyway. They had never had the experience taken away from them before. And it wasn't like I could tell them about what my life was like. It would have been as if I had never taken the cure, only worse.
"Sex was about the same. Honestly, I wasn’t a virgin when I had taken the cure, but it had been a while, and the first time was painful, and everything after that was just too quick to really enjoy, or boring because I knew he wasn't getting the same thing out of it I was. Or course, there were some nice things about touch." She smiled whimsically, and he could almost catch a glimpse of the girl he knew once upon a time. "I owned a dog for a while. His name was Zeus. He was this massive blue pitbull puppy. He was a big, sweet baby, with a really goofy personality. Of course, Allen took him when he took off.
"A friend of mine came over right after he left. She found me in the bathroom, crying. She wanted to help me, but I kept pushing her away. I told her not to touch me. I told her to just leave me alone, but she came to me, and she knelt down beside me, and she hugged me. And my skin took her life. I killed her, Logan. I couldn't let go of her. It was like my skin didn't want to, like it was starving."
"It's been a long time since it's done what it was supposed to do, Darlin." Logan whispered, hoping what he was saying made any sense to her. "You weren't born with this for nothing. There's a reason you were given this ability, and maybe one day, you'll find out why."
Her eyes became dark as she processed his words. She had already been over this in her own head a thousand times since her abilities manifested the first time. Maybe she just needed to hear it from the voice of someone else. "Carol was a mutant. She never told any of her friends, but I found out as soon as she touched me. You remember that mutant that Xavier was trying to track down just before Phoenix came to power? The one with the invulnerability and super-strength? Well, that was Carol. She also went by Ms. Marvel. The reason why Storm had a hard time tracking her was because no one took into consideration the fact that she could fly. She's in the closet now. It was the only thing I could do. I could hear her screaming as my skin held on to her. It was awful.
"I've never touched a woman before. There really is a big significance, though. Men are usually quiet and are in shock that it's actually happening. It's as if by the time they realize what's going on, they're in my head. Even when they know what I can do. Women, though, their minds fight back almost as if they're being rapped. I mean, that's what it is, right? I rape their minds and take what I can. If I hold on long enough, I'll take everything.
"She's still screaming in here. I have her in one of those mind traps Xavier taught me. I don't know how long it will last, though. I mean, she's stronger that any of the others that I have in here, even you. It's like the more I take, the stronger the person. She wants out. She wants control. She's fucking pissed about all of this, too. She keeps saying that I tricked her, that I did it on purpose. I can't get her to calm down long enough to listen. Hell, even Eric is trying to get her to calm down. The only quiet voice right now is yours. You keep saying that she needs to get it out of her system."
"She probably does. She is going to spend the rest of eternity in your head, Marie. Nothing is hers anymore, not even the body she's in." Logan wished like hell he could touch her bare skin, just to make his personality stronger inside of her. It was the only thing he could think of that just might help her. But she would never let him. Especially not after everything she had just gone through. It might just be the thing that would make her lose her mind.
"I didn't mean to do it, Logan. I need someone to believe that." Her eyes were pleading with his now, hoping against everything that she still had a friend somewhere. "I never wanted to hurt her. I kept screaming for her to not touch me. To just leave. She thought she was being a good friend to me, but I took her life instead. I know you're going to take me back to the mansion. I know I'm going to have to deal with all of the people I left behind. Hell, I don't even want to deal with those who weren't even there when I left who know about me. But I don't really have a choice, do I?"
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Logan finds Rogue in a bigger pickle than he thought.